


Don’t You Want The Way I Feel?

by Apropos_of_Nothing



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Chaptered, Complete, Developing Relationship, Falling In Love, Fluff, M/M, Pining, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2020-07-27 18:57:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 110,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20050942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Apropos_of_Nothing/pseuds/Apropos_of_Nothing
Summary: What would have happened if Patrick and David never kissed during Grad Night? Set after S3E13 following the story of how Patrick and David will end up together no matter what universe we put them in. Includes drunk texting, boyfriend's bantering, soft moments, and angst induced by these two idiots.-"Aw like your best friend?"Patrick sighs in relief at the return of their comforting banter. "Yes, the BEST. A BFF as the kids would call it.""Confidantes really"."Kindred companions?""Partners in crime... and business.""Ew David. You two are so gross."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic in the Schitt's Creek fandom. I've loved reading everyone's works and I thought I would give it a go. Any feedback is appreciated!

It had been so perfect- a moment so palpable and real that his breath was stolen away, leaving him chocking on the absence of his actions. He had been right there. Mere inches away. Leaning in closer. And yet...

Patrick coughed and quickly turned his head to look out the window, his hand still placed on the car door as if he were prepared to jump out of his own vehicle at any further movement.

"Um... a bold but... accurate claim. I think. So thank you. Again", Patrick stammered over his words. He was still starting out the window, begging his own head to turn itself towards the man he had seemingly just rejected.

David cleared his throat and shifted back towards the window. "Of course. We make a good team", he murmured in an unreadable tone.

Patrick was finally able to crook his own neck to look at David. His eyes were downcast at his lap. He looked...disappointed. Could he be disappointed? Had he actually wanted more? God it could have been everything. It felt like a movie scene or one of those moments in life you always dream about- something for Patrick to look back on years from now and say that this was the turning point. He would proudly accept the feelings he had been exploring and unraveling since the day he met David. He could hike tomorrow with an answer. Patrick’s mind raced with uncertainty, __I should just reach back over and grab his face or his shirt or something and just kiss him... __

The sound of the seat-belt latch clicking pulled Patrick out of his train of thought. David gazed into Patrick's eyes with a side-lipped smirk.

"Thank you for tonight. Now on to the second half of the evening where I steal from my mother's stash of pills and fall into a near-death, deep sleep." David's mood had shifted away from disappointment and back to something familiar. It was almost as if he had accepted Patrick's actions as soon as they had happened; it was as though he expected it. Patrick did not want him to expect it. He deserved so much better than this.

But instead of saying any of these thoughts, Patrick joked, "No crying, I'm hoping?"

"You're asking too much of me."

"Safe to assume I won't be seeing you before 10 then."

"Expect later. It is my birthday after all."

"However will Rose Apothecary survive without its namesake around?"

David rolled his eyes and feigned distress. "Better just close down now for good." David reached for the door and slid out the passenger side.

David leaned back into the car window. "Goodnight Patrick."

"Goodnight David", Patrick responded with a small smile. Patrick watched as David reached the door and turned around to give one last goodbye.

Patrick watched as his opportunity closed the door behind itself. He sat in the car, staring at the door, begging it to reopen. After minutes of dismay, Patrick threw the car into reverse to drive down the dark road home with the sinking feeling of anxiety and looming thoughts of regret.

\---

Patrick's mind continued to race as he readied himself for bed. It seemed pointless really when Patrick knew he would not get an ounce of sleep tonight. His brain conjured up the image of David leaning forward, looking at his lips.

Patrick reached over for the remote in hopes to rid David and his beautiful, heartbroken face from his mind. Unfortunately for Patrick, the screen illuminated to the final scenes of Miss Congeniality, one of David's favorite movies. Patrick knew he should flip away from the channel but he can't help but fall into a trance.

Without anticipating his own movements, Patrick opened up his phone to text "David Rose".

_ To David: _

_ Guess what I'm watching? _

_ *GIF of Sandra Bullock saying "Don't mess with me"* _

Patrick keeps his phone close to his chest; he holds it tight in hopes this conversation won't escape him just like he had let his chance with David.

\---

After far too many pieces of cake and more verses of songs he did not wish to sing, David proclaimed he was going to get ready for bed. After closing the bathroom door behind him, David deflated onto the side of the tub.

He could kill Stevie. Why had she made him think that Patrick wanted to date him? That the present meant more than just a friendly business partner gift? He had always known that Patrick was not into him. Patrick was a friend and nothing more. If David were being honest, he felt more frustrated with himself for believing that a nice, sweet, button-face like Patrick would ever be into him.

He should have anticipated this kind of rejection by now. But the image of Patrick pulling away to look out the window plays on a loop. Every time Patrick’s head turns away, David can feel the sharp pain radiate down his chest. It never felt this painful before.

David pulled himself up off the tub to stand in the mirror. It felt far too long he was lost in thought, staring at his own face, when his phone dings on the bathroom sink.

David unwillingly smiles down at his phone as he reads the text.

** **To Patrick: ** **

** **You're watching it without me?? I thought you** ** ** **r** ** ** ** first time would be with me** **

_ Well I'm only watching the last 10 minutes so we can still watch it together _

** **You only watched the end?? Are you trying to ** ** ** **induce a ** ** ** **panic attack** ** ** **?** ** ** ** This is a cinematic masterpiece that should only be watched with proper viewing circumstances. I demand you turn it off this instance** **

_ Yes, your highness. I should have known that all Sandra Bullock movies are off limits for my individual viewing pleasure _

** **I'm glad you understand. This is a very serious matter** **

_ Sorry to interrupt the rest of your birthday night. I know you had big plans for the remainder of the evening _

** **You can always interrupt me with relevant life gifs** **

** **So anything related to 2000’s RomComs** **

** **And also just in general. You can text me whenever** **

** **Well not before 10 am. Because that is just nonsensical** **

_ Well thank you for those parameters _

_ You can also always text me whenever you like too _

** **Thanks Patrick** **

_ Thank you, David _

** **Gonna go enter my wakeless sleep now. ** ** ** **Night ** ** ** **Patrick** **

_ Goodnight, David _

\---

After a long hike with way too much over thinking, Patrick entered the store with an hour still to spare before opening. What better time than now to organize all of the inventory he asked David to complete days ago?

Patrick unpacked as images of David and the previous night flickered across the back of his eyelids like a film. He tried his best not to picture what could have happened if he had just allowed David to close those inches between them. He imagined David bursting through the door of Rose Apothecary at any second. He would sweep Patrick off of his feet and kiss him like he needed to be kissed. Or maybe Patrick had watched a bit too much Miss Congeniality last night.

As Patrick attempted to focus on the hopefully-mind-numbing task ahead of him, the door to the store opened. Patrick was shocked to see a very annoyed and tired David enter the room. Patrick was certain a confused look was plastered on his face as he looked down at his watch. 10:02 AM.

"You're earlier than I expected. Would have thought you could have stayed in your coma for another few hours?"

"And normally I would love a small coma but today I was rudely awoken by some alarming and disgusting revelations involving the motel."

Patrick was both intrigued and concerned. "Is everything okay?"

"Um.. hmm. Yeah yeah. I may need to move out but everything else is great."

"What? Do you want to talk about it?"

David sighed, "No I guess I better not. But I really do not want to be around there right now. Or tonight. Or really anytime."

On impulse, Patrick responded, "Well you are always welcome to stay with me. I mean... I live with Ray but I'm sure we could figure something out if that is something you would be interested in."

Patrick swore he saw a blush dust David's cheeks. "As appealing as night with Ray sounds, I was just thinking more of like a getaway for the evening but I will keep your very nice offer in mind."

David kept his eyes trained on Patrick for a response. Patrick felt his own body heat rising to his face. He smiled shyly at David and nodded his head slowly.

"Okay well how about we go do something after we close up here? Maybe we could go to the Wobbly Elm? I still haven't been after all my time here."

"Stevie and I asked you on multiple occasions and you were always too busy to come with us."

"Actually you asked me one time and I had baseball practice that night."

"Same thing. Either way, we should go tonight. We can invite Alexis and Stevie and make a night of it. Well as much as you can make a night out of a sketchy bar and a dead body".

Patrick didn't have much time to fixate of the idea of other people attending there night out. "A what??"

David was saved of a response when his mother walked in.

\---

After a long-winded conversation with his mother and the much needed reassurance from Patrick on the whole motel/dead body/possible accomplice situation, David was actually thankful to start work.

David busied himself at the register and smiled to himself thinking about going out with Patrick tonight. Although having a night out alone with Patrick sounded perfect, David reminded himself that he had thought the same thing the night prior during dinner. The last thing he needed was to be let down again. Plus, Stevie is a great buffer for these kinds of situations. And maybe it was a good idea to spend a night celebrating Alexis' graduation.

David spent the rest of the day mentally preparing his drunk self to behave. The last thing David wanted was another embarrassing instance of displaying his feelings around Patrick. Up until last night, David was able to bury those emotions well. But with the sting of rejection, it was as if the seal had broken on his amorous Pandora's Box. Now every time they made eye contact across the room or brushed against each other while stocking the store, David felt an unwanted and unrelenting wave of butterflies. David hated butterflies.

All of the introspection and useless metaphors to describe David's feelings remained at the forefront of his brain for the remainder of the work day. As closing time rolled around, David became more nervous about the night ahead of him. David pondered if maybe he could still get out of it. After all, his father had just called earlier to let him know that the "coroner handled the situation. None of the guest suspected a thing."

David watched as Patrick finished up paperwork behind the register. David cleared his throat and suggested, "So since the situation at the motel is all cleared up, I guess I don't really need to be out of the room tonight... even though it is still very disgusting and I will definitely need an extended bath to get the concept of dying alone off of my skin".

Patrick stilled his movements. "You don't want to go out tonight?"

If David were allowing himself to think Patrick actually liked him, he could pretend that he appeared upset. "Well I am just thinking its unnecessary."

"Ah. But is a beer after a stressful day not necessary?"

David scrunched up his face. "I basically haven't had beer since that tail-fence party I went to with Stevie."

"I think you mean tailgate and I am finding it hard to imagine you at one of those."

David rolled his eyes. "I am well-versed in all cultures."

Patrick smiled. "Okay. No beer then. How about some polar bear shots?"

David’s ears perked up and he side-eyed Patrick. "If by some you mean at least 10 that you buy for me, then yes."

"Not sure that's what I meant."

"8 O'clock at the motel? And if you want you can bring some preliminary shots to get us started."

"Like a pregame?" Patrick looks like he is trying to hold back a grin.

"Yeah sure whatever you want to call it", David says as he waves his hands around in the air.

"I'll bring the solo cups and corn-hole."

"The what?"

\---

At 7:45, Patrick is having a minor crisis over his shirt. Which for Patrick, is the most absurd thing he could ever imagine. He was never one to spend more than a minute deciding on what to wear. But now, here he was, panicking over what David might think of his outfit decisions for a night out.

Patrick couldn't place a finger on why his outfit mattered so much. He knew he wasn't exactly setting out for something to happen with David tonight. But at the same time, he couldn't help but think of avenging his horrible mistakes from the night before. Then again, who was to say David would even want that? Patrick's mind was still caught in a loop deciding if David had really meant for yesterday's evening to conclude with a kiss? Or was it just bad timing? Patrick knew he wanted the evening to be a date- to act like and finish like a date. But is that really what David thought? And even if he had, how did he feel now that Patrick had basically rejected him? Did Patrick still even have a chance to redeem himself? Patrick hoped he could keep it together tonight; he couldn't risk losing the one person who makes him feel like the individual he always wanted to be.

With only minutes to spare and his mind reeling, Patrick decided to cut his losses and stick with a dark pair of jeans and a royal blue dress shirt rolled up at the sleeves. You can't go wrong with blue, right?

When Patrick arrived at the motel, he is greeted by a tipsy David already tossing back shots of whisky and Stevie convincing Alexis that their was no better way to find a new life-path than to get very drunk and go to a bar for some "randoms".

Patrick placed a bottle of vodka down next to David. "Are you pre-gaming for the pregame?"

"I don't know what that means. I'm just drinking as much alcohol as my body allows." David has a red glow to his cheeks, creating a striking contrast to the tight black long-sleeved shirt he is wearing. Patrick can't help it if he notices how stunning he looks.

"Mmm and how well do you think this whisky will go with all the polar-bear shots I'm supposed to buy you?"

"Deliciously", David smirks as he sips from his glass. "Why don't you have a drink in your hand yet?"

"Well I wasn't sure what the plan is. Am I driving?"

David scoffs. "No. I convinced Stevie to be DD".

Patrick raises his eyebrows in surprise. "How did you manage that?"

David shrugs his shoulders. "Bribery?"

Patrick takes the opportunity to grab a cup and pour a decent amount of vodka. "Cheers to that".

David flashes one of his genuine, side-lipped smiles. "Cheers, Patrick".

Patrick tips the drink back and thinks,__God I am screwed__.

\---

David is in 6 shots deep at the Wobbly Elm and all he can think about is how that dark blue really accentuates Patrick's eyes. Patrick has just bought him another shot and they are downing their own glasses side by side. Patrick's eyes have become hazy with alcohol and he seems to wear a smile that won't disappear. David wishes he didn't notice.

"Wow that's strong. I should stop. We should stop, right?"

David blinks away his thoughts. "Patrick Brewer! We are just getting started. Plus we have Stevie to drive us home. Just enjoy it".

David fails to mention that the only reason Stevie agreed to drive them in the first place is out of pure pity and guilt. After she informed the Rose family of the dead body dilemma that morning, David had pulled her aside to vent about the ending of his "date" from the night before. Stevie admitted she felt bad for convincing David that the dinner was one with romantic intentions. "Maybe he just got scared?", she had tried to say. "Or he was just being a good business partner who is now freaking out about me coming on to him”.

Alexis pops up behind David and chimes in. "Yeah Patrick. You have to work with David all the time. That must be exhausting. You deserve a break."

David glares and Patrick chuckles. "Mmm the absolute worse. I don't know how any of us do it."

David looks shockingly at Patrick and hits his shoulder. "Hey! I am the best business partner ever. You said so last night."

At the mention of last night, Patrick visibly tenses up before promptly returning to his amused smile. "Actually I'm pretty sure those were your words, David."

David grumbles a "whatever" before calling the bartender over and asking for three more shots on Patrick's tab. "You owe me for being so mean."

Patrick drops his smile and leans in closer. "Just so we are clear David, I'm totally joking. Becoming your business partner has been the greatest thing to ever happen to me. And you are...a good partner. An amazing one. And a good friend. A really good friend."

David feels the butterflies threatening to flutter upwards and break the walls of his forbidding persona. Despite his resistance, David can't help but duck his head and smile at Patrick's sudden nervous behavior.

David shifts his gaze to meet Patrick's. Friends. That is what we are. And friends who tease each other at that. "Aw like your best friend?"

Patrick seems to sigh in relief at the return of their comforting banter. "Yes, the BEST. A BFF as the kids would call it."

"Confidantes really".

"Kindred companions?"

"Partners in crime... and business."

"Ew David. You two are so gross." Alexis flips her hair. "It's time for me to return to that guy over there. According to my experiences at the palaces of Azerbaijan, I've been away just long enough for him to want me more." Alexis locks eyes with the man she has been talking with all night and makes her way over. David is actually happy for her. He hopes that being out tonight makes whatever has been happening with Ted better. She looked so crushed today after returning from the vet clinic.

The three shots arrive in front of David. "More for us then."

Patrick grabs a shot and raises it in the air. "For me and my other half."

"Your better half", David says with an unwavering smile before tipping the drink back down his throat.

\---

Patrick doesn't remember exactly how they got to this moment and that is definitely not helping him get a grip on reality. He knows it involved too many shots to count and the bad influences of Stevie and Alexis.

All four of them are dancing to in the middle of the bar where a small crowd has formed on the floor. Stevie is pressed against a random she found earlier in the night. Alexis is dancing breezily with the man at the bar. And Patrick is in bliss as he dances face-to-face with the man he wants to kiss so very badly in this moment.

Some generic pop song plays in the background and the room is softly spinning around them. There are probably other people surrounding them, dancing or watching or drinking. But all Patrick can see is David.

David is currently swaying back and forth with the beat, occasionally throwing in some finger points in Patrick’s direction. It is the most innocent and cute dancing Patrick has ever seen.

Patrick can barely focus on his own dance moves due to the distraction in front of him. He knows he doesn't look good but is finding it hard to care in the moment. He snaps his fingers and attempts a circle which turns into a small arc and a dizzying return to look at David.

David is smiling so big- bigger than Patrick has ever seen. God why hadn't they done this sooner? David is suddenly reaching his hand out towards Patrick. He doesn't say a word but raises his eyebrows, asking Patrick to take his outstretched hand.

Patrick grabs David's soft hand into his own. It shocks him how much bigger David's hand is and yet, how it fits perfectly within his own. Patrick notes how cheesy his own mind has become but finds the alcohol softens all his sharp edges. David lifts their attached hands up into the air. Patrick looks at him quizzically before David uses his other hand to make a spinning motion.

Patrick twirls under their raised hands in a sloppy, drunk, circle. David pulls him in close and attempts to lean Patrick back in his arms. To no ones surprise, David nearly drops Patrick on the dance floor and fumbles to lift him back up. They are both laughing so hard they barely notice how close their faces are to each other until the giggling has died down.

Patrick can't help but stare at David. He has never been this close to someone he found so beautiful. David's eyes are crinkled in the corners and for once, he doesn't seem self-conscious of what anyone else is thinking. Their hands are still clasped together and Patrick wonders if David can feel his heart racing through his sweaty palms.

The music shifts into a Latin song, spoken in Spanish that Patrick does not understand. David yells over the loud music. "Let me teach you some salsa, Patrick Brewer."

Patrick is in no mental state to say no. In fact, in this moment, he finds it hard to believe that he could ever say no to David in any context.

David grips their clasped hands tighter and brings Patrick in close. The distance is still enough where their bodies are not touching but it feels almost suffocating to Patrick. He feels as though he is going to pass out, but he is not sure whether it is from the alcohol or from the amount of touching happening between him and David.

"Okay did you get that? We have to step together."

Patrick realizes a little too late that David was speaking to him and he had not heard a single thing. Nonetheless, Patrick nods. "Mhmm yeah okay."

"Alright 1, 2, 3, 4 and step... Patrick! Step backwards. No... the other backwards".

Patrick is totally lost but has never felt more at home than he has right now. He feels David pull him in closer in an attempt to control his movements. The spot where David rests his hand on Patrick’s side burns in the most wonderful way possible.

"Okay again. Ready? And STEP! There you go! 5, 6, 7, 8. And OUT. And SPIN. Oh my gosh YES! You're doing it!"

Patrick actually has no idea if he is doing it but the alcohol is allowing his feet to be moved in whichever direction they are taken. They continue dancing until the next song plays. Patrick doesn't let go of David's hand. In fact, he places the other on David's shoulder and brings him in closer to whisper in his ear, "You're very good at this."

David seems to stutter over his motions for a second before learning into Patrick, "Our nanny growing up taught me some moves."

"Well tell her I say thank you", Patrick says in a deep voice. He tries to remember why he told himself not to flirt with David and can't come up with one good excuse. So he pulls David in closer to continue dancing.

David shimmies to the music and looks seductively at him. Patrick feels like he could die on the spot. David grabs Patrick's hand and says in a childish voice, "It’s my turn to be spun now.”

Patrick laughs. "You're such a baby". But still grabs his hand and puts his arm above their heads. The execution is nowhere near as flawless as when David did it. "My arms are too short I think."

David attempted the motion again while in a squatting position, causing both of them to erupt into laughter for the hundredth time that night. The two spent the rest of the night perfecting their spinning skills, as well as Patrick's general dancing abilities.

It only seemed like minutes later when he felt Stevie pulling on his shirt telling him the bar was closing soon and they had to leave. He can't remember exactly how he got in the car but he knows that the night ended with a very tired and drunk David falling asleep on his shoulder the entire car ride home. 

\---

Finally laying down for the night, David is feeling wide awake despite his current alcoholic state. Why had he acted so stupid? And drunk? And flirty? He wasn't even sober yet and was feeling the regret from tonight__. Oh god was Patrick going to leave the business? He must be totally freaked out. __

David flipped over on his side to see Alexis fast asleep after the night out. Despite all of her talk to go home with the man at the bar, she had opted to join them back home, only stating that she "wasn't ready for this". David was far too drunk and captivated by the evening's events that he had not commented on his sister's dismay. He makes a side-note to himself to talk with her about it tomorrow.

But for now, David is in a full-blown crisis. Part of him wants to accept the butterflies; he wants to let them escape from his stomach and into his throat so he can release them into beautiful words of confession for Patrick. On the other hand, David has been hurt far too many times before to allow such a reckless escape. He knew how Patrick had felt and still forced himself upon him. What if he lost Patrick as a business partner? As a friend? A best friend?

David quickly grabbed for his phone, dropping it on the floor in the process. Maybe he still was drunk. David wrote out the text without a second thought, the alcohol still coursing through his veins.

** **To Patrick: ** **

** **Did ou haev fun tnight? ** **

Before David can put the phone down, little bubbles of hope and fear appeared at that bottom of the screen. David held his breath.

_ Soooo mch fun. I no how t salsa now! _

David released his breath. ****Well I m excelent teacher. Lets do the tango nect time. ****

_ U ciuld teach me alotta things _

_ Ballroom damcing _

_ Youd be good at that _

_ u lead well _

** **Raving review** **

** **m glad we weny out tnight** **

** **I had so muchfun with you ** **

_ Me too, bestie _

** **We are nt doing bestie** **

_ Companioms through life? _

_ Pal? _

** **Bffl? ** **

_ Mmm I hink best friend is still the best _

** **I agree. Ttitle suits you ** **

_ As it dos you _

_ You make me happy _

_ I like being around you _

** **Me too. ** **

** **Round yu I mean** **

A pause in the conversation occurs and David can feel his eyes start to droop. He tries to keep them open but the relief of knowing Patrick does not hate him, but actually is his real friend, soothes David's mind towards slumber. As if Patrick can sense David's tiredness and hear his thoughts, the phone buzzes again.

_ Goodnight, BFF _

David smiles through heavy eyelids. Maybe soulmate was the word he was looking for after all.

** **Night, friend ****


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David and Patrick deal with the aftermath of their night out and take a road-trip packed with singing and bonding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who liked and commented. I wasn't sure if I was going to continue this as a chaptered work but your positive feedback has encouraged me to keep this story going. Hope you enjoy!

Patrick woke up with a pounding headache and an unwavering sense of shame. He begrudgingly lifted his head to flip the pillow to the other side, hoping the coldness would relieve him of the nausea creeping into his stomach. As Patrick’s head sank back into the pillow, images of his night out devastated his consciousness. His eyes shot open but the picture of David holding him close and twirling him beneath his arms did not disappear. If anything, the recollections were coming through faster in hazy, incoherent waves. Patrick leaped off the bed and bolted out the bedroom door to the bathroom down the hallway.

Patrick felt like a 16 year old again- throwing up after a night out in a bathroom that he couldn’t even call his own. Unfortunately, the resemblance to his teenage years didn’t stop there. The crush he was experiencing on David made him giddy with nervous anticipation; however, these feelings were stronger than a crush and Patrick is pretty sure he never felt anything this intense in his high school days…or ever really. Patrick continued to lean over the toilet, contemplating how his 32 year old ass got himself into this situation.

_What even happened last night? I danced? Actual voluntary movements of my body? With David?,_ thought Patrick. _Oh no… did we text last night? God please no_. __Patrick found himself quickly standing up to run across the hallway for a second time that morning, rushing over to his phone lying beneath his warm-sided pillow.

** **From BFFL:** **

** **Please tell me you’ve forgotten how to read? ** **

Patrick laughed out loud at the relief and absurdity of it all. He was almost tempted to not read the text from last night or find out how David’s name was changed in his phone to a name that was not helping reaffirm his own age and maturity.

_ If too much alcohol can cause illiteracy, it is very possible _

_ Do I even want to put myself through reading this? _

Patrick sighed and scrolled up to the start of a conversation at 2:18 AM. Did I really say ‘you could teach me a lot of things’… _Jesus Christ Brewer,_ Patrick thought as he stressfully massaged his forehead with his free hand. As Patrick read on, he slowly began to piece together the evening. He remembered their jokes about being best friends which maybe explained the name change in his phone? But for the life of Patrick, he couldn’t remember if he had changed it or someone else had.

And although ‘you make me happy’ made Patrick cringe away from the screen, his heart warmed at David saying he had a fun night and that he was his best friend… even if it was for the joke. 

_ And according to these texts, we have lost the ability to write as well _

Patrick placed the phone down, too embarrassed to continue looking at its contents. He slumped down to the kitchen in search of a gallon of water and some pain medication. Despite Patrick’s humiliation, he couldn’t help but think that maybe David had just as much fun as he had. His feet ache as he creeps back up the stairs to likely face David’s teasing and possible disdain. Patrick tries not to spiral into dark thoughts as he reaches for his phone again.

** **Turns out we could benefit from some English lessons, in addition to my amazing dance lessons** **

Patrick sighs in relief. He finds he is doing that a lot lately when it comes to David and he is not sure what to make of it.

_ That would be a lot more boring _

** **I’m sure I could keep it interesting. I am a natural teacher at heart ** **

_ David, I think teaching requires patience _

** **I am very patient! ** **

_ Mhmm a true educator _

_ Any plans today? _

** **Well as much as I would like to spend the rest of the day in bed, I actually have business to attend to ** **

_ Business? _

_ Our business? _

** **Yes** **

_ Elaborate _

** **Ugh too much effort. I’ll call you ** **

Before Patrick can mentally prepare himself, BFFL is flashing across the screen. __I’ve got to change that__, notes Patrick as he swipes the screen to answer.

“Good morning, David”, Patrick states in his most professional, totally-not-in-love-with-my-friend, voice. Unfortunately, this was Patrick’s first time speaking this morning and the causal demeanor came out raspy and squeaky.

“You sound terrible”, states David matter-of-factly.

“I am blaming you 100 percent for my current state of well-being.”

“I’ll proudly take 90 percent of the responsibility.”

“Deal. So what is going on today that I am somehow unaware of?”

“Don’t act so shocked. I can do business things without having my business partner involved.”

“Well, you see David, that’s kind of the thing about business partners… you _partner _with them. We are a team. So as much as I love your initiative for responsibility, both at work and in my alcohol endeavors, I would appreciate being involved.”

David sighed over the other end of the phone. “It’s really not a big deal. I was supposed to go check out a new product from the Green’s farm this week but Misha texted me this morning asking if I could come by today to test the product and pick up any boxes we may want.”

“Do you want me to come with you?”, Patrick inquired without thinking twice.

“You don’t have to do that. It’s your day off and I’m usually the one doing face-to-face interactions with vendors anyways. Plus, the material may be made from more cat hair.”

“This is the cat lady down the road or cat lady outside of Elmdale?”

“Cat lady outside of town. She is the one who supplied us the Himalayan hat collection.”

“My scalp still hasn’t recovered. But that’s quite a drive out there. You could use the company and my expertise.”

“Expertise?”

“Yes. On how long someone allergic to cats can wear the products before going into anaphylactic shock.”

“You really want to come with me?”

David sounded sincere and shy and maybe even a little surprised. Patrick wanted to shake him and tell him that of course he wants to come with him. He wants to make him happy. He wants him to know he is there for him, even outside of the business.

“Of course. What time are we headed out?”

“Can I pick you up at noon?”

“Works for me. Need me to bring anything?”

“Mmm nope. But do be prepared for multiple duets and sing-a-longs for the road-trip. I have a playlist.”

“Of course you do. I’ll try my best to ready my voice for this very important business work.”

“I know you’re joking but this is basically my version of an employee evaluation.”

Patrick chuckled. “I’ll do my best. See you soon.”

“Bye Patrick.”

“Bye David.”

Patrick’s heart-rate raced as he hung up the phone. A full two hours in a confined space with David as his willpower is slowly dwindling. What could go wrong?

\---

After being denied a pain pill from his mother, David stopped by the local store to relieve himself of his hangover and to collect himself before picking up Patrick. The last thing David expected when he awoke this morning was for Patrick to WANT to be around him. David had been sure he had scared him off last night with the touching and the dancing and the texting and the ‘best friend’ joking…

But here he was- on his way to pick up the man who apparently did not scare easily. A first for David. And for that reason, it genuinely scared him. __Perhaps I should back off on the friendliness__, thought David. Surely the offer to come with David was purely for the sake of the business. 

David pulled up outside of Ray’s house. Although David liked Ray, he was not particularly in the mood to jump into a conversation about David’s recommendations for the best type of body milk today.

** **To Partner in crime & business: ** **

** **Outside** **

David realized he forgot to change the name in his phone back to something more professional. He had only noticed it this morning, not 100% positive how it was changed in the first place. Probably Stevie… yeah he would blame this one on Stevie. He quickly changed the name to simply ‘Patrick’ before he could have any more awkward and revelatory moments with said partner.

Not even 10 seconds later, Patrick walked out the door with a backpack in tow. Patrick opened the car door and slide into the passenger seat.

“Um hi. First of all, are you always so punctual? Second of all, what’s in the bag?”

“First of all- yes. One of us has to be if this business and friendship is to survive. Second, it wouldn’t be a road trip without snacks. Plus I know how hangry you get if you don’t eat every 2 hours.”

David scoffed but tried to peak into the bag. Patrick unzipped the bag further and pulled out granola bars, two sandwiches, and a bar of chocolate. “Oh and your favorite”, Patrick exclaimed as he revealed a bag of cheese.

David tried to hold back a genuine smile. Patrick Brewer actually remembered David’s favorite food. David knows he shouldn’t be that impressed considering he stocked his store full of it and never failed to mention his love for the savory snack. But he had also been surrounded his whole life by people who could barely remember his name until they needed money. “That was…very thoughtful of you. Now we should have a further discussion on the use of plastic zip-lock bags to hold delicate cheese but for now, I must ask, what kind of cheese is it?”

“I sliced up some cheddar and Gouda. Those are your favorites, right? Well… actually I know Brie is your favorite but these are your ‘local favorites’ or ‘new lifestyle favorites’ as you once called them.”

David could actually cry…over cheese. “Thank you for this. Now when are we allowed to start eating said snacks?”

“Ah glad you asked. I made a spreadsheet of the times and snacks we will eat throughout the day.”

David glared at Patrick and his blank stare for a solid 5 seconds before grinning, “Again, I know you’re joking but sometimes I am concerned for your desire to bring up spreadsheets in every conversation.”

Patrick grinned. “We got a long day ahead of us. Gotta ration our food out”, he said as he reached in for a slice of cheddar and handed it to David.

David gladly ate the cheese and then threw the car into reverse. “Alright your 1 hour and 10 minutes of David’s uninterrupted concert begins now.”

\---

32 minutes into the drive and Patrick can’t say that he has really known many of David’s songs. But he can say that he is fully enjoying watching David belt out a Mariah Carey tune without a care in the world. David always seems so guarded and conscientious of what everyone around him is thinking. Patrick is happy to be let in and see the David with no worries and walls up, even if it is just for a small road trip.

“Come on! You have to know this one?!”, shouts David over the blaring sound of a familiar tune.

“Uh maybe?”

“Patrick! Okay I can’t sing all of these songs by myself anymore”, David says in exasperation.

“I highly doubt that. And does this mean you’ll let me put some music on now?”

David side-eyed him. “You can pick a song from the designated playlist.”

“Wow how kind of you,” Patrick says as he scrolls through David’s playlist. “This is a really long list.”

David shrugs. “I like music.”

“I’ve never heard you sing outside of the car today.”

“Well I don’t like revealing my talents. Also enjoying music isn’t really on brand for me.”

Patrick looking at him quizzically. “You literally always talk about your talents. And anyone can love music, David.” 

David shrugs again and keeps his eyes on the road. Patrick promises himself he is going to sing to this man one day. He is going to write music about him. He is going to dance with him to music he loves. He erase away any shame of enjoying things that he was once criticized for. 

Patrick turns his attention back to the phone. “Whitney Houston, Beyonce, Celine Dion.”

“Icons.”

“Agreed. Do you have any acoustic songs?”

“Hmm I don’t know. I usually find acoustic too cheesy.”

“But Jack Johnson isn’t?”, says Patrick as he turns the phone towards David with a smirk on his face.

David appeared to grow a little flustered at this, his face turning a light shade of pink that he tries to hide. “He’s my guilty pleasure. He has a song about pancakes. You know how I feel about food. And his voice is nice…whatever. Sue me.” 

Patrick chuckles. “Are you sure its not because you are such a true romantic at heart?”

David scoffs. “Definitely not. Pretty sure you have to believe in that stuff to enjoy it.”

“That stuff?”

“Yeah you know, like, people loving each other and stuff.”

“People loving each other and stuff? Hmm. And by that do you just mean love in general?”

“I guess so. I am not well-versed in those emotions.”

Patrick paused for a second. A question formed at the front of his mind and he can’t bring himself to push it away. He wants to understand and is not sure when the conversation will present itself again. “You’ve never been in love?”, he asks as a question but it comes across more as an observational comment.

Patrick watches David’s face closely. He seems to flash between various different emotions before calculating a response. “No. I’ve never had all of that before”, David waves his right hand around in the air describing ‘that’. “I don’t think I am meant to be someone who falls in love… or is loved.” He hesitates like he wants to say more but finishes his thoughts playfully, “Love is _also _not on brand for me.” But David’s facade seems cracked; he pays extra attention to the road in order to keep his gaze looking straight ahead.

Patrick so badly wants to reach out and grab David’s hand that is now fiddling with the fabric of his pants. He wants to squeeze it tight and not let go.

“You have people who love you”. _Me_, Patrick wants to say. He pretends like his own mind doesn’t jump that far ahead. “What about your parents? And Stevie?”

David breaths out through his nose making a small laughing noise. “My family is… well you know how they are. We barely can even verbalize our feelings. It’s been getting better. I mean, I actually like kind of care about Alexis. And don’t you dare tell her that. And my parent’s are trying a lot more now than they ever have. I actually was able to tell them...that for the first time about a year ago.”

“That? That as in ‘I love you’?” Patrick’s heart unintentionally accelerates saying the words that were not even directed at David.

“Mhmm yeah that. The only other time was on the best day of my life.”

Patrick racks the ‘David details section’ part of his brain for this item but can’t seem to come up with anything. “What was that?”

“Mariah Carey concert”, David says pragmatically, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“And you said ‘I love you’ to…?”

“Mariah Carey.”

“Ah of course. I would expect nothing less.”

“Thank you”, says David as he sits back more comfortably in his chair. He quickly changes the subject and asks if Patrick plans on ever picking a song.

Patrick’s heart is still beating fast and his head is stuck on thoughts of David and love and family and Mariah Carey. He mentally shakes his head and returns his attention to the phone. “Looks like we have a 90’s classic, I see”. Patrick turned the phone so David could catch a glimpse of ‘Mmmbop’ on the screen.

“I’ll have you know, I almost dated one of the Hanson’s”.

“Why am I not surprised?”, Patrick laughs as he clicks play. The sound brings him back to high school and care-free days where he thought he had everything figured out. Current Patrick wants to scoff at young Patrick and tell him that he doesn’t no shit about the world or himself.

David rolls his eyes but nods his head slightly to the beat and discreetly taps his finger on the wheel. David pretends like this is the one song on his playlist he doesn't know just to spite Patrick. But Patrick knows that game well and persists on singing louder and more theatrically to get David’s attention.

“Can you tell me who will still care? Oh caaarrreeeee”, Patrick points his finger at David.

David sighs and inevitably joins in for the chorus. Both of them belt the pop song while driving down the empty highway. Patrick has an unshakable sense of nostalgia. But it also grounds him in the present where everything has changed. He is a different person now and probably would not recognize himself as the same one singing this in high school.

Patrick watches David bop his head back and forth, occasionally looking over to assure he is not making a fool of himself all alone. David’s mind cant help but return to their conversation. How has no one told David that he deserves the world? That he should be loved? Was it really impossible for him to feel that for anyone else?

Patrick knew love was far too big a word to even consider right now. But a part of him knew that David was the only person he had ever felt truly comfortable with- the only one who knew how to test him as much as he knew how to test David. Whether it was friendship or more, Patrick had to accept that these feelings were a lot more than acquaintanceship, business, or otherwise. David deserved to know that someone cared for him and wanted to see him happy. As Patrick sang along to a cheesy, 90s boy-band hit about the importance of recognizing relationships in your life, he thought about how he would give anything to make David recognize and accept the love from those around him. Including his own.

\---

As Misha presented the new merchandise, David was pleasantly surprised by Patrick. After agreeing that David would handle the creative decisions in the partnership, Patrick was not usually one to join in on initial product testing. However, Patrick was proving he could hold his own today. It definitely helped that he was probably the most charming client a local vendor could ever ask for.

“I love the texture of the socks, Misha. They are so soft and the pattern makes it almost seem like you have an actual real Cat living in your house. Now tell me, where do you picture this item in our store?”, says Patrick smoothly as he itches at his ankle.

David’s instinct is to take over. One of the main reasons he went into this business was to prove to himself that he could do it without the help. He doesn’t need his parents or the money to accomplish something successful. But something about Patrick makes it okay. He doesn’t feel like he needs to prove himself. Patrick is there because he wants to help and he can contribute his business expertise- not to take over David’s business or fake a relationship for his own benefits. David actually believes that and it shocks him.

“Oh yes I also have some samples for that in the house. Let me go grab that”, exclaims Misha cheerfully.

The two are left alone and David immediately hands a bottle of lotion to Patrick. “You may want to put this on your feet. My road-trip performance cannot afford a detour to the hospital.”

Patrick grins and takes the bottle. “Where did you even pull this from? You know what… don’t answer that.” He dabs some onto his fingers and leans over to gently massage it into his ankle with a satisfied _ahhh_.

With his head still directed at the ground, Patrick murmurs, “If I am being too direct, feel free to tell me to back off. I know this is totally your territory. I just figured you still had a headache and I actually like learning about this side of the business as well.”

If David wasn’t confident in Patrick’s intentions before, it was becoming harder to deny it now. “My headache has actually only gotten worse and I honestly wouldn’t know how to respond to cat-based foot products. So I appreciate the help.”

“Hey, what are partners for?”

David stiffens with a memory about the night previous. He could keep his mouth shut but he finds it strangely difficult to do around Patrick. “Partners in crime and business?”

Patrick must know what David is referring to because he stills his body as well before looking at David. When he sees the side smirk on David’s face he laughs and lets out a breath. “Our drunk selves are idiots. Pretty sure we, me, or you changed your name in my phone last night to something similar.”

David feigns shock and then proceeds to tell Patrick that it was definitely Stevie who had done that. “She did it on my phone too. She overheard us at the bar and she likes to mess with me…so… sorry about that.”

“Stevie never helps. But I like it. Maybe I’ll change it to be a bit more professional like David BFFL Rose?”

David snorts. “I like it.” He is smiling at Patrick and is finding it hard to believe that he is a real person. There is an actual human-being whose intentions are so pure and nice. How was he so sweet?

After the conversation in the car, David’s instinct is to bolt up that ‘amorous Pandora’s box’ and shut Patrick out from his turbulent insides. It was difficult to admit his confusion and general discomfort in regards to human emotion, even if it was obvious to the rest of the world. But it was harder to admit that no one had felt that way about him before. It made him feel pathetic and unwanted. As much as he tried to drown his own thoughts, he mused on the idea that Patrick makes him feel wanted. Even if that is not his intention.

At that moment, Misha walked back through the farm door. “You boys are in for a treat. I have some slippers I’ve been testing out that I think you will love.”

“Great! Let’s see what you’ve got”, states Patrick before David can respond. He tosses a wink his way. Yeah, David could definitely get used to having Patrick around for meetings with vendors.

About two hours later, David and Patrick are headed back towards the car with four boxes of cat fur-based merchandise and stuffed stomachs from the food Misha had fed them. David struggles with the boxes and whines about how heavy they are with little to no pity being found from Patrick.

When they finally pack the car up, David sighs dramatically. “All that work has made me very sleepy.”

“It’s…4 in the afternoon.”

“Yes but today has been exhausting, emotionally and hangover-wise. PLUS I just carried all those heavy boxes all the way to the car.”

“Aw you poor poor thing”, Patrick’s voice drips with sarcasm. At the same time, David’s whiny voice does things to him that he is not sure he is ready to delve deeper into. Better to not hear that again for now. “But I can drive if you want. I know you must feel tired.”

David does not need to be offered twice. He throws the keys haphazardly at Patrick. “I’m actually surprised I was able to toss those so well.”

“Come on. Let’s try to get back before it’s dark out.”

David settles into the passenger seat and grabs a blanket seemingly out of nowhere. He slides down further into the chair as he pulls out the remainder of the snacks to eat. He looks over to see Patrick motioning for David’s phone to plug in for music.

“Mkay now lets play some Jack Johnson.”

David rolls his eyes but seems to melt further into his seat as Banana Pancakes starts to play. He expects another jeering comment from Patrick but is only met with his voice softly singing along to the words. It feels calming and like home and nothing else David has experienced before. He closes his eyes and listens to the harmonizing voice of Jack and Patrick. It does not take long for David’s eyes to shut, not even realizing how tired he truly was.

As he moved between a state of sleep and wakefulness, David hears the music change from one song to the next. Patrick lightly sings along to the songs he knows. David pretends Patrick is lulling him to sleep, speaking softly to ensure he won’t wake him. David feels safe.

\---

They are about 10 minutes from home and David is fast asleep in the passenger seat. He is curled into himself and looks tiny for once. Patrick thinks about how he is so lucky to see David in such a vulnerable and innocent state. He tires his best to keep his eyes on the road but often finds them drifting towards the boy seated inches away from him.

Patrick hums along to the songs he knows, hoping to keep David in the peaceful state he is currently experiencing.

It’s at that point a familiar song comes on from the playlist that Patrick can’t recall hearing in ages.

_ I call you when I need you and my heart’s on fire _

Patrick likes this song. He always has. But he only now seems to be hearing the words. It’s fascinating to Patrick that songs he has heard his entire life suddenly have a whole new meaning for him. He smiles and quietly sings along with the words.

_ You’re simply the best. Better than all the rest _

Patrick silently agreed with Tina Turner. He can’t help but catch another glimpse at David.

David is still in his cocoon, arms wrapped around his folded legs as he leans against the window. Patrick knows David would hate if anyone saw him like this.

David notices a small smile has formed on David’s lips in his sleep. His face is filled with peace and contentment. He seems to relax more onto the window and his smile grows bigger as the song progresses.

Patrick decides he would do anything to re-create that smile and happiness in David. He wants that for him. He needs him to be happy outside of his dreams and experience everything life has to offer. And if Patrick was being honest, he needed to accept that for himself too.

Patrick sang the words right to David. “You’re the best. Better than all the rest.” Maybe one day Patrick would verbalize those words in an extravagant manner, making David swoon and accept that he was meant to be loved and cared for. But instead, Patrick sang the words to a sleeping David in a stuffy car on the way back to their store. _Their store_,__ Patrick reminds himself. A business they built together. Patrick wanted to give David so much more but he thinks that for today, they can settle on intimate car conversations, 90's sing-alongs, and cat hair. It was enough for now.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David and Patrick make some decisions regarding their relationship with the help of Stevie and Alexis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I apologize for the incoming angst but I promise the fluff will return. Enjoy :)

David is lying flat on the floor of Stevie’s apartment with a joint to his lips and a slowly dissipating panic attack smothered by the smoke. Stevie’s face is looking down at him from the bed with concerning eyes, which is definitely not helping David’s paranoia.

“Okay but you still haven’t answered my question of how it feels different,” Stevie implores.

David sighs and purposefully releases a puff of smoke into Stevie’s face. She doesn’t seem to mind. “I don’t know. It’s just…different”.

“That’s not helpful.”

“You’re not helpful!”

Stevie sticks her hand out to which David immediately passes the joint to her. “I’m trying. You seem to be very limited in your use of the English language when it comes to Patrick.”

Usually David would scoff or deny Stevie’s assumptions but instead he just giggles and closes his eyes. “Hmm yeah.”

It had been a few days since the road trip and David was certain, totally positive and not paranoid at all that something had altered in their relationship. He couldn’t pinpoint the changes or even when they had exactly happened but he definitely noticed it.

The days spent at the shop felt more intimate and a bit too personal for David’s liking. He could feel Patrick slowly breaking down walls that he fought very hard to build and maintain. David had initially felt humiliated for even opening up about his family and history of emotional detachment; lucky for David though, that exact quality gave him an unmatched ability for denial. And he is pretty sure that defense mechanism would be working great right now if it wasn’t for Stevie’s prying questions and unrivaled need to meddle in David’s life.

So here they were- high on a Thursday night with a confused, upset David and an inquiring, stoned Stevie trying to crack the code that is Patrick.

Stevie turns to face the ceiling and takes another hit (David has lost count for both of them at this point). She stares up towards the blank walls for a few minutes before further prosecution. “Why won’t you just admit that you like him?”

David feels like he should filter his answers. He doesn’t want to let any more people into his brain. He knows his talks with Patrick are revealing enough as it is. But the weed has other plans for him and he can’t think of a good reason why he shouldn’t be honest.

“He didn’t want to kiss me. He continues to not make any moves. His preferences are still a mystery. We run a business together. Shall I continue?”

Stevie seems to consider this before flipping back onto her stomach to look down at David. “I’m sorry I told you it was a date… I really thought… I don’t know.”

David looks back at her and sees the sincerest eyes Stevie can muster up. He knows it’s not her fault. “Well now look who can’t use a more sophisticated vocabulary.”

She rolls her eyes and smiles. “I know my senses are clearly off but I still think he likes you.”

David pretends that doesn’t make his heart flutter. He shouldn’t listen to her but he can’t help but indulge himself. “Why is that?”

“Well, for one, he never stops looking at you. It’s disgusting. He always wants to talk to you. He makes you…different”, she explains, waving her hands in the air.

“Different?”

“Mhmm different.”

David considers this. He knows it’s true. But he also knows that Patrick’s feelings originate from his general kindness and empathy for other humans. David wasn’t an outlier, but rather the norm. David thinks of all the times he had been hurt before. So many people who left him, were ashamed of him, rejected him…including Patrick. Whether he meant to or not, Patrick had cut David a little harder than he was willing to admit it.

David can’t help but think that if it continues to go down the same path, that wound will only fester in the heat of David’s desires. He can’t have these feelings for Patrick and run a business with him. He feels the anxiety creeping up his neck again. David makes grabby hands for the joint before he can spiral out of control.

“What should I do?”

“What do you want to do?”

“I just don’t want to be hurt anymore. What I have now is good. More than good. Finally. I’m thriving really. I don’t need a stupid crush or whatever to ruin that.”

“I think we both know that if this ‘nothing going on between you two’ is actually something, it’s more than just a crush. And I will also take full credit for your new-found happy life here.”

“Did I say that?”

“Basically and it’s true.”

David throws a pillow up at her face, missing her completely and falling back down to land on David’s head. “Ow”. It doesn’t take long for both of them to be bent over in laughter, almost forgetting their conversation all together.

After David wipes away his laughing tears, he circles back to the subject at hand. “Okay focus! Tell me what to do.”

Stevie re-positions herself once again so she can look directly at David. “Tell him.”

David splutters, “I can’t do that…it could ruin everything.”

“And nothing could also ruin everything.”

“Less likely.”

“Here’s how I see it. You have two options. One- you tell Patrick you like him, you want to do the whole ‘relationship’ thing. He either wants you as well and it’s a beautiful, happy, romantic ending that you only somewhat deserve. Or it’s a semi-awkward situation where he sticks around mostly out of obligation and guilt.”

“Nice.”

“Two. And let me preface by saying I like the first choice a lot better. But two. You pull back. You guys are becoming really close and it’s making it even harder on you. I think it has got to be all or… business partners.”

David considers these options. He thinks about how things have changed for them recently. He had tricked his mind into thinking that maybe it was because Patrick was feeling what he was too. But what if it was actually just David projecting his own sentiments onto their situation. What if this strange energy was actually just Patrick’s discomfort with David being too clingy and friendly? What if he felt trapped and like he had to be David’s friend because they work together? David’s mind easily accepted it as truth.

David stares through Stevie for a long time. Stevie doesn’t seem to even notice as she is in her own world. He’s glad he has her around. “So if I choose the second option, who gets you in the divorce?”

“You’re really considering it?”

“I think it might be better for my self.”

Stevie nods her head. “I just want whats best for you. Patrick is nice and all but if it’s between you and him… fuck Patrick,” she says practically.

“Please don’t do that,” David says with a side-grin.

“God no… so how are you going to go about this?”

“I’ll just be professional. I am very professional. And just… keep it casual. It’s better that way. He will feel less awkward about everything. And I can just focus on the store. And…”, David’s sentence drifts off as he thinks about not being friends with Patrick. He allows his defensive mind to suppress those thoughts as quickly as it can for now.

Stevie brings her hand down to David’s shoulder. “Should we drink alcohol now?”

“Definitely.”

\---

It’s Friday morning and Patrick is unlocking Rose Apothecary when he gets a unexpected and strangely-punctuated text from David.

** **From David BFF Rose:** **

** **Good morning, Patrick. I am not feeling great. I will be running a little bit late to the store today. If you open, I can be there by 11 and stay a bit later in the afternoon. ** **

_Morning. You know you already told me you were going to Stevie’s last night, right? _

_Safe to assume that the drugs in your body are making for a great hangover right now? _

** **Something like that. ** **

Patrick finds David’s bluntness a bit odd but decides to blame it on the hangover. _David gets grumpy sometimes after a night out,_ he justifies to himself.

_Ah okay well it’s fine. I’ll see you at 11 then. Feel better! _

Patrick slips the phone in his pocket after he doesn’t receive the usual, immediate reply. He begins to ready the store for the day, willing his mind to not over-think for once. Patrick prided himself on his pragmatism and levelheadedness. He couldn’t understand why those characteristics seemed to waver the second David displayed any changes in his own usual attributes.

Patrick was thrown from his reeling mind when the door to the store opened. His body immediately reacted, assuming the only person who would come in the store before it officially opened was David. But instead, his eyes panned up to see a business-attire, high pony-tailed, Alexis. Patrick tried his best to hide the disappointment and confusion he was feeling.

“Alexis? Um…what are you doing here?”

“Well you don’t have to act so disappointed. I know I’m not David but many would agree that I’m the prettier, more successful sibling anyways”, she says flipping her ponytail.

Patrick coughs and gathers the emotions that are clearly showing on his face. “No no I’m just surprised to see you. You aren’t usually around here this early.” Patrick tries to recover but he knows Alexis doesn’t buy it.

“Well David is at Stevie’s this morning and I didn’t know when I would have the opportunity to see you alone again.”

Patrick feels his stomach drop. It’s not that he didn’t like David’s sister. But he did have an in-explainable sense of discomfort around her. Ever since the day he met Alexis, Patrick wanted to make it clear to David that his interests did not lie in her. David was clearly used to the idea of that. But Patrick would do anything to assure David that he was definitely _definitely _not interested in Alexis. Being alone with Alexis while David was seemingly upset about something was less than ideal for Patrick.

Patrick cleared his throat. “Oh? Okay. Is there something I can help you with?”

“Yes, actually. I would normally go to David but he’s like all really in his head right now and also he can be pretty annoying when it comes to the whole business thing. And you like…actually know business and went to school and everything for it.”

Patrick wasn’t following in the slightest but nodded anyways.

“Well I’m considering going to this prestigious university and wanted to get your advice on it.”

Patrick, for the 3rd time, found himself trying to hide his facial expression from Alexis this morning. He was shocked that she wanted his help with life advice. It was endearing and unexpected coming from anyone in the prideful Rose family.

“Wow. That’s great, Alexis. Where are you planning to go?”

“Basically I’m going to the only top-quality college around here which I’m sure you’ve heard of- Elmdale College. Jocelyn said only her best students go so I think it really works with the girl-boss journey I’m going for.”

“I have not but it sounds…very esteemed.”

“So now I am just trying to figure out which degree best suits that lifestyle for me. I know I want to do business but it turns out there are like a lot of business-related degrees, most of which I’m not entirely sure what they are.”

Patrick smiles at her. “Well there are a lot of different options. You have to focus on your interests and what you are good at. Think of some instances you were really proud of yourself.”

Alexis ponders this for a few seconds. “I did negotiate my freedom in Dubai while speaking mostly Arabic and only sacrificing a small amount of my money, jewelry, and friends.”

Patrick really does not know how to respond to that so he just presses his lips into a tight line and nods. “Okay okay good stuff. So you are a good communicator. What else can we come up with?”

Alexis goes on to tell Patrick about all of her ‘successful’ international endeavors, as well as her many driver’s licenses and identities. Patrick finds himself enamoured with her anecdotes, deciding that Alexis really was a girl-boss. He doesn’t intend to think of David during their conversation but it almost seems inevitable at this point. He wonders how David felt about Alexis’s adventures. Did he know about all of the things she had done?

Many stories and attempts to link them to talents later, Patrick landed on the perfect major for Alexis. “Marketing and public relations. It will be perfect for you. The creative eye for design and provoking people. But also the ability to communicate with the public and create an image using your skills in persuasion and charm.”

Alexis’s face lights up and she looks genuinely happy. “Patrick, that is exactly what I was looking for. I can’t wait to make my little business cards. What do you think I should name my company? I feel like the Rose name has been on enough businesses, don’t you? Definitely has to have Alexis in it though. I wonder who my first client will be. Do you think Lindsey Lohan would be up for some re-branding? She could definitely use a PR boost.”

Patrick laughed as Alexis continued to ramble on. He was excited for David to come in so he could tell him all about his struggle to find the ideal career for Alexis.

“Okay I should go sign up for those classes since they start on Monday.” Alexis paused for a moment before her facial features softened. “Thank you, Patrick. Seriously. David is lucky to have you.”

The sincerity stunned Patrick. The Rose’s really knew how to leave him speechless.

“Of course. Anytime. And David is really the heart and soul of the business. I just help where I can.”

“I mean like… outside of the business. He’s much more tolerable to be around since he met you.”

“Oh well… David does the same for me, I guess. The dynamic works, you know”, Patrick shrugs his shoulders in an attempt to not reveal his actual emotions.

One of Alexis’s talents though was her sense for drama. She smirks and nods. “He always talks about you, you know?”, she says stirring the pot and knowing David would absolutely kill her for it.

Patrick has no response for that. He focuses his attention on the cheese he is currently organizing in the fridge.

“After your little road trip, he kept smiling at his phone and singing really bad 90s songs in the shower. And he didn’t even join in when I was making fun of dad. _And _he asked mom if she wanted to go out for lunch, like he wanted to actually hang out with her,” Alexis muses. “I haven’t seen him this happy since that Mariah Carey concert.”

Patrick turns to look at her and finds a genuine smile on her face. He isn’t sure how to respond without giving away his growing crush on her brother. Luckily, Alexis continues.

“He’s had a lot of shitty people in his life. But he’s dealing with all of that better now. Just last month, he totally messed with Sebastian Raine. Which seemed kinda impossible considering all the mall pretzels and Bridget Jones incorporated into David’s life after him. And I feel like he’s getting better at letting the right people into his life. But…it’s still hard for him,” Alexis says knowingly. “Sometimes he needs the extra push to allow himself to enjoy things. He might be too afraid to take the leap.”

Patrick’s brain is absorbing too much information and he can’t bother to keep up the facade. He is listening intently, begging for any more details he can have.

“So if you are getting a vibe, do something about it. He deserves that.”

_He does deserve that. He deserves better than this,_ Patrick thinks. He can’t find the words or the motor control to respond to Alexis’ blatant thoughts. Thankfully, she saves him from a response once more.

“Thanks again for the help. For your kindness, I’ll consider Rose Apothecary as my first business endeavor.” She lifts her purse onto her shoulder and walks towards the door.

Patrick finds his voice stuck in his tight throat. “That’s sweet Alexis but I really don’t think we need it.”

“The lack of shoppers in here would say otherwise.” She opens the door and gives him one last knowing look. “I may come by again soon for some help with picking those classes…”.

Patrick’s lips turn into a side-smile. “Of course.”

He watches her exit the store, taking with her his assurance that David wanted nothing more than friendship.

If everything Alexis said was true (and after their conversation, he wasn’t sure if honesty was one of her talents), then David was feeling what he was feeling. That shift in their relationship. The connection pulling the two together. The happiness that wouldn’t leave his smile or the spirit in his step.

Alexis was right. Patrick was going to tell him.

\---

David rolls over in Stevie’s bed to see her still sleeping soundly next to him. He squeezes his eyes tightly in an attempt to block out the sun and his decisions from the night before. Logical, sober David allowed the lock on his brain to loosen just for a few minutes so he could think through these ideas without drugs or a need for repression in his system. 

‘Just business partners’ and ‘keep it casual’, David had said. He wants to instantly reject those thoughts and send a cute good morning text to Patrick. But he allows himself to toss the idea around. Stevie had been right when she had said that the in-between was hurting him. He knew that. He could feel the painful ache every time Patrick said something seemingly innocent and sweet, only to realize it didn’t mean what he so badly wanted it to.

David flips on his side to face away from Stevie, clutching onto his aching chest. _Why did he always feel like he was about to simultaneously throw-up and have a heart attack lately? _

David reminded himself that Stevie had thought it would be better for David to just tell Patrick. But the image of leaning forward in the car and Patrick turning his head away played on a loop in his head. He can’t put himself out there again. And he can’t lose Patrick all-together because he has a creepy crush on his business partner.

But to just be business partners? Did David even have the willpower for that? And would it truly help? _No, of course not. We are basically best friends at this point. I only have like 2 friends. I can’t afford to lose one,_ David thought. However, David knows that if he keeps going down this route, it will only get worse. Did he not just say last night that their relationship is changing? He blames that on himself. His feelings are ready to burst and he can only hold it in for so much longer.

David recalls all the times that he let that side of him show. The times when he was truly vulnerable. They were few and far between but they had happened. He can’t help but remember his group of friends in New York who he had opened up to about his family and sexuality and struggles with anxiety. It had taken months and many bottles of Tequila for him to feel like he could say any of it; unfortunately, it only took the free publicity and one vacation that David had paid for to have them disappear out of his life. David knows Patrick is different but then again, hadn’t he convinced himself that was true every time he tried to express himself.

David’s mind is spinning and his decision alternates between two very opposing views. All he knows for sure is that he can’t tell Patrick how he actually feels. But losing him as a friend doesn’t sit right with him either.

David flips on his side again, unable to get comfortable despite his desire to return to the dreamworld where none of these choices have to be made. He is met with Stevie’s open eyes staring back at him.

“You okay?”, Stevie questions. Through her sleepy eyes, David can tell she is concerned for him.

He nods against the pillow. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Just tell him, David.”

“I can’t”.

They both stare at each other for what feels like hours before David breaks the silence. “You don’t think that I can’t not be his friend?”

“That was a horrible sentence but… I don’t know. I feel like you guys are meant to be friends, even if you aren’t more than that.”

David lightly scoffs. “You’re getting too soft on me.”

Stevie shrugs. “I think you have to do what’s best for you. I’ll be with you no matter what.”

David stares at her for far too long, testing her to take back her friendship and loyalty and advice. She doesn’t.

David pulls out his phone and does the first thing he can think of to distance himself from Patrick and all of the warm fuzzy feelings he gave him. Patrick’s name in his phone now reads boring and professional.

He then sends ‘Patrick Brewer’ a text- one without emojis or gifs and littered with punctuation. That is basically as professional as David can get.

He already feels colder- like stepping away from Patrick was the equivalent of stepping away from a warm fire. He feels his fingers becoming numb with ice as he types out his responding messages.

Stevie doesn’t say anything about Patrick anymore and opts to ask if David wants a leftover cinnamon roll that she stole from the motel. The answer was definitely yes.

David runs in auto-pilot from there. He lets his brain lock all of his feelings back up, wears the darkest black clothes he can find in his closet, and prepares to become the professional, cold-hearted version of himself.

\---

Patrick is giddy with excitement to see David. He has no idea what he wants to say or how he is going to say it. But he is bursting at the seams to let him know. _Maybe I should just kiss him?,_ ponders Patrick as he stands in line at the Cafe waiting to buy David a caramel macchiato skim with two sweeteners and a sprinkle of cocoa powder.

Patrick is thanking Twyla and shooting out the door to make it back to Rose Apothecary before David arrives. Patrick thinks about all of the things he has wanted to say to David for months:

_I’m sorry I didn’t kiss you that night. Let me kiss you now. _

_You are strong for putting up with so many deceitful people in your life. You deserve so much better than that. Let me prove there is better. _

_So many people love you. Let me show you love. _

_Please let me have a second chance. _

Patrick fiddles with the register, flashing his eyes between his work and the door. When he sees the flash of black through the window, his palms instantly become sweaty. He wipes them off on his jeans as David enters the store.

Patrick can’t help it if he has the stupidest, biggest grin on his face. “Good morning, sunshine.”

David removes his sunglasses and gives a small nod and a pressed smile. _He probably has a headache,_ Patrick thinks.

“I bought you some coffee. Your go-to”, beamed Patrick. He reaches for it on the table to hand it to David.

“Oh”. A look passes over David’s face that Patrick can’t quite place. “Thank you, Patrick. That was thoughtful.” He reaches across the space between them to grab the cup. Patrick allows his fingers to brush across David’s, a touch he often avoided to maintain his own self-control.

David looked stunning in his dark black shirt, somehow even more so than usual. He wanted to reach out and touch the soft fabric across David’s shoulder. _Do something about it,_ rang Alexis’s voice in his ear.

“David, I-”

“Patrick…”

Patrick laughs, “Sorry. Go ahead.”

David cleared his throat, looking around at the empty store. “I uh… I’m not feeling very well actually. I am going to work on some inventory in the back for a while.” David was wringing his wrists and looking away.

Patrick’s bubble seemed to burst with David’s words and movements. _Something was off. _

“Of course. Are you okay?”

David considers the words before responding. “I don’t want to talk about it,” David responded with a sharpness Patrick was not accustomed to hearing.

“Okay okay yeah that’s okay”, Patrick splutters trying to recover. “Do you want to talk about it later? We can go over to the Cafe. You know I’m all ears for any ranting, crying, et cetera.”

David finally looks into Patrick’s eyes. “I can’t go the Cafe tonight.”

Patrick feels like he’s drowning and he’s not sure why. “Tomorrow?” It sounds desperate even in his ears.

“Actually I think it would be best if we just focus on the business right now. I can deal with my own problems. We have a lot to do here,” David responds monotonically with a slight catch at the end.

Patrick looks at him dumbly. “Are we okay, David? Did I do something?”

David’s eyes soften. “We are okay. But let’s just do work for now, okay?”

Patrick nods slowly. “I… sure. Yes, of course. There are some boxes that arrived this morning if you want to unpack those.”

David nods and turns on his heel to enter into the back room.

Patrick is aware of his heart in his throat. He can feel the pulsing in his neck and a lump that he tries to swallow along with his pride. He couldn’t imagine it was possible that the image of David walking away could feel even worse the second time around.

\---

As soon as David rounds the corner out of Patrick’s sight, he presses his head against the wall. He closes his eyes tightly, feeling the re-occurring tension headache re-appear behind his eyes.

_Why is he being so sweet? He looked so sad… I can’t do this. _

David breathes in deeply through his nose and reminds himself that this was better for him in the long-run. Surely Patrick would be thankful he no longer had to entertain David as a friend. _They could focus on the business. That was the reason he was here in the first place,_ David convinced himself.

David made his way over to the box the vendor had dropped off this morning, carrying the sweet coffee drink with him._ I can do this. _

David busied himself with the work, letting his brain do what it did best. He slowly convinced himself over and over again that he didn’t deserve Patrick as a friend. This was better. This was good for him… like a mantra until he believed it.

When closing time came, Patrick peaked his head in again. David tried hard not to notice that he looked like a kicked puppy dog.

“How are you feeling?”

“Better.”

“...That’s good. I was just closing up out here.”

“I think I am going to stick around and finish this up.”

“Do you need me to stay and help?”

“No. It’s alright. I came in late anyways so I want to get a few things done here.”

“Oh…okay. Well”, Patrick stalled. “I guess I will see you tomorrow then.”

“Yes. Have a good night.”

Patrick sat in the doorway for a second, looking lost and expectant. When David didn’t say anything further, he wore a sad smile. “Yeah you too.”

David fought everything inside himself to not yell after Patrick as he walked away. _This is better. This is good for him…_

And just like Patrick once had, David watched a missed opportunity follow his friend out the door. _This is good for me. _


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David attempts to remain cold-hearted. Patrick is broken-hearted.  
Set (finally) during Season 4 Episode 2 Pregnancy Test

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking through the angst with me. I tried writing this chapter a few times and wasn't really happy with how it turned out. But hopefully you guys still enjoy it! As always, everyone reading this is greatly appreciated.  
Chapter warnings: panic attacks, generalized anxiety

Patrick is nearing the peak of the hike, breathing heavy as he pushes up the dirt path. It had been two days since the beginning of this endless nightmare, keeping him tossing and turning in the night. Patrick didn’t want to be dramatic but it felt a bit like the world was falling down around him.

He sought a logical reason, noting that David had gotten upset before or occasionally receded back into the mindsets he worked so tirelessly to break free from. Lately, Patrick had been the one to help David through those times. Whether it was about a defective product or Alexis hogging the bathroom or his own inability to love, Patrick had listened carefully, empathized unequivocally, and teased occasionally to light the mood. Despite his efforts to rationalize, his psyche had seemingly taken a page from David’s book and ceaselessly catastrophized the situation.

Patrick wipes away the sweat dripping from his forehead as he reaches the top of the mountain. _How dare the sun be this bright on this calamitous, unbearable day?,_ Patrick ruminates. He intercepts his own brooding to consider that yes, he is definitely inheriting David’s ability for spiraling thoughts.

He sits down, overlooking the forest of trees. For once, Patrick doesn’t want to be here on his Sunday off. He would give up hiking this trail forever if it meant he could spend today with the one person he thinks about while climbing it.

Saturday had been worse, he decides. He had fooled himself into believing that his heart couldn’t hurt any more than Friday. Patrick thought he would enter the store Saturday morning to be greeted by David, his friend. Instead, he was met by David, his business partner.

_“Good morning”, Patrick says wearily. He knows he must look exhausted with the dark circles forming under his eyes. _

_David barely turns in his direction. “Good morning.” _

_“Are you feeling better today?”_

_“Hmm oh yeah yeah,” David says waving his hand dismissively. _

_A long beat and then David is quickly busying himself with organizing the display at the front of the store. _

_Patrick tries again. “I saw Alexis yesterday.” _

_That seems to grab David’s attention but he continues working without looking up. “Oh… why?” _

_Patrick figures it is the most open-ended question he will receive from David. “Well I’m not sure if it’s a secret but she is going to enroll for classes at a local college. She wanted some help picking out a major. I guess she thought I could give her some advice given my degree. I think it was useful. Did she tell you about it?” _

_“She did. What I did not realize was that her list of skills had come from you. Although that makes a lot more sense now that I think about it. It’s hard to spin drunken, international adventures into decisive, smart business acquisitions”, David muses mostly to himself. _

_Patrick smiles. “I think it will be a good match for her. It’s a great opportunity to gain more professional skills.” _

_David just nods and continues to mess with the display. Patrick is more than desperate to keep the conversation going. _

_“Um… so you never joined her on said ‘drunk, international adventures?” Patrick tries to act casual but he hears his own voice catch in his throat and sees the way his own fidgeting hand refuses to sit still. _

_“I did not”, David says as he makes his way over to the other display. _

_“Why not?” Patrick grovels for information. _

_David is silent for a long time and Patrick can feel his insides squirm. He watches David align every product before turning around to finally look at him. _

_“Did we receive any shipments from Ms. Ellis today?” _

_Patrick can’t even hide the disappointment. His mouth drops and his eyebrows furrow. He had thought it was all going to be okay. It’s not okay. He wants to scream. “It..uh…Ms. Ellis? Oh right. Um… yeah. Yes. I put them in the back to go through later.” _

_“Okay thank you. I think I’ll un-box that now.” _

_Before Patrick can respond, David is brushing past him to exit the room. It doesn’t go unnoticed by Patrick that David moves further out of the way than necessary to avoid touching Patrick. _

_Patrick is left alone with his own terrible thoughts, torturing him as the day moves forward in the same pain-staking, heart-stabbing manner. _

He wishes his mind would remain static for one second so he could just find some grounding in this situation. Patrick takes a swig of water from his bottle and lies down flat in the dirt, hoping the solid Earth will provide him the stability he needs right now.

_I could ask him again if he is upset with me?, _Patrick wonders as he filters through his options. _Or seemingly respect his wishes and stop making it personal._ Patrick knew that the latter was probably the ‘right thing’ to do. After all, David did not have a good track record for surrounding himself with people who respected him. But on the other hand…

Pulling out his phone, Patrick scrolled down to David’s name. The fact he had to scroll in his messages ignited his desire to talk to him even more. He just had to hear from him. So Patrick texted about the one thing he knew David would still engage with him in.

_To David BFF Rose: _

_Got a call from Mr. Hockley this morning about the new herbal tea mix. I’m going to meet him at the store at noon if you wanted to be there for it? _

Despite this being true, Patrick still felt a nagging sense of guilt when he hit send. Clearly, David wanted some space. Why was it so hard to give him that? Still, Patrick’s heart swooned with happiness when he saw the dots appear at the bottom of the screen. 

** **I suppose I should be there for that to assure we don’t accidentally sell more of his drugs ** **

_You are the expert. See you then_

\---

David decides the best way to spend his Sunday off is in bed, wallowing in self-pity. He feels like he definitely needs a reward for keeping it together for a whole (almost) two days.

When he promised himself he would do this whole distancing thing, he hadn’t anticipated how difficult it would actually be. Or how much Patrick would keep persisting on communication. It never occurred to him that Patrick would be able to keep up his friendship facade for so long.

David sifted through his phone, trying to find anything to distract his mind. Just as an intriguing article about a new Julia Stile’s movie caught his attention, Patrick Brewer’s name affronted his visual diversion.

_Dammit,_ David cursed internally. _The one day I have to distract myself from Patrick and now I have to spend the afternoon with him._ Despite the thought, David can’t help but feel a twinge of happiness that he will see Patrick. It had been four weeks since he had gone a day without seeing Patrick, not that he was counting or anything. He also deflects the fact that he chooses one of his favorite black shirts and spends a little extra time to style his hair.

On the way to Rose Apothecary, David mentally prepares himself to interact with Patrick. He had found himself almost breaking down after one day into this expedition. David blames it on Patrick’s demonstration of kindness towards Alexis and his ability to know the exact personal questions that no one has bothered to ask him before.

When David enters the store, Patrick is already sitting behind the register typing away on the computer. He immediately looks up from his work and smiles tentatively at David, almost likes he afraid to scare him away.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” David reminds himself to keep his body moving forward. He places his bag on the counter. He fiddles his with his shirt. Silence. It was harder to ignore Patrick’s presence with only the two of them in the room and nothing to occupy his mind and hands with.

Silence suffocated the air and Patrick took the opportunity to test David’s dwindling willpower. “It was weird not seeing you this morning. I’m pretty sure we’ve spent everyday together for the past month…or something. I could feel my pop culture and fashion levels decreasing in that short amount of time.”

David suppresses a smile. “Yes well Sunday is supposed to be our day off. Lately that hasn’t been the case. I’m sorry about that.”

“I’m not,” Patrick says quietly. It is now Patrick who has found a sudden interest in the hem of his shirt.

Before David can muster up a response, the door is opening and Mr. Hockley is breaking the quiet atmosphere with his blaring disposition. David physically shakes his head to clear his mind and then reaches a hand out to shake Mr. Hockley’s. David immediately falls into the business mindset, wishing it could always remain on to avoid being swayed by Patrick’s sweetness.

For the most part, the meeting goes smoothly. David confirms that the new loose leaf tea is in-fact not weed but doesn’t refuse some samples that may or may not have been grown in Mr. Hockley’s greenhouse.

Patrick is by his side, discussing the numbers for the new products. David listens carefully, still trying to fully comprehend all the aspects on the business side of things. If anything were to happen with Patrick, he wants to know he can be self-sufficient. He hates that his mind even goes there. He finds himself thinking about what a good team they make as David discusses the materials and packaging and Patrick types numbers into one of his many many spreadsheets. _This just works,_ thinks David. _And that’s exactly why we are business partners. _

When Mr. Hockley finally leaves, David is feeling more than a little proud. He always felt this way after meetings with vendors or product expansions in the store. This made him happy. _This is why I can’t mess it up. _

“Well I thought that went well,” Patrick states as he gathers up his laptop and packs his bag.

“Yeah, very well.”

A pause. David thinks that will be the end of the conversation but of course, Patrick finds another topic. “So is Alexis ready to start classes this week?”

“Oh um yeah I’ve been helping her pick out courses. She has already messed up the starting date and location twice so… we will see if she even makes it through orientation on Friday.”

David fails to mention that every time he assisted her with course decisions, the only subject Alexis wanted to ask about was Patrick for some reason. David did his best to avoid the onslaught of questions, opting to inquire about Ted and her business adventures to deflect from himself.

“She will,” says Patrick with unwavering confidence. David then notices a shift in this bravado as Patrick walks around the corner to stand in front of David. “So are you free the rest of the afternoon? I was thinking of heading over to the Cafe?” He points over in the direction of the infamous restaurant. “I know it’s so far away but I heard the food almost makes it worth the commute.” 

_When will he give up this act? Doesn’t he realize I’m trying to free him from me?,_ David internally screams as he fumbles to find a response.

“Oh”, David mutters, the only thing coming out of his mouth. _Maybe I should just be upfront with him. He is clearly not getting the hint._ “Patrick, we don’t have to do that kind of stuff. Like you said, we see each other all of the time. You deserve a break.”

Patrick’s eyebrows furrow and he looks genuinely confused. “A break? From what?”

“From me. We are business partners. And that should be our focus here. And you should have a life outside of this store, right? To spend time with friends or like… a girlfriend. Or Whatever. Some separation of work and life is important. At least that’s what I understood from The Devil Wears Prada”, David speeds through his thoughts, gesticulating his hands around in motions that are far too big for what he is describing.

Patrick is staring at him with an intensity that makes him shy away from the look. David wonders if Patrick can see the disguise he has thrown on to cover his true sentiments.

Patrick is looking David dead in the eye, his face impossible to read. “Is that what you want, David?”

David didn’t expect the conversation to turn back around on him. Did he want this? No. What he wanted was to reach out and grab Patrick’s hand and squeeze the fingers between his own and drag him over to the Cafe to have a mediocre sandwich and a wonderful, most-likely-sarcastic conversation about The Devil Wears Prada and weed tea.

But instead, David presses his lips tightly together and says, “I think that would be best for both of us.”

David searches Patrick’s face for signs of distress or anger or…anything. Patrick’s eyes are still intensely focused on him but his facial features are unchanged. “I’ll respect whatever is best for you, David.”

David lets out a shaky breath. “Thank you,” he says quietly. He instantly wants to take it all back.

Patrick gives a sad smile. “See you tomorrow, David.”

Patrick is already walking past him when David’s mouth finally catches up with his brain. “Yeah,” is all David can get out before Patrick is out the door.

David knows he should feel clarity and freedom. But all he is aware of is a deepening pit in the bottom of his stomach. He runs to the bathroom with a sudden need to throw-up. He sits on the floor, heaving up nothing into the old toilet bowl. David has the sense of mind to realize he must feel worse than he thought if he is willing to put his face anywhere near this toilet and sit on the bathroom floor.

This is exactly what he wanted. What he knew to be best for himself. And Patrick. So why did he have this uneasiness bubbling in his stomach, threatening to spill out these foreboding feelings?

\---

Patrick prided himself on his ability to keep his emotions in check. His friends used to joke he was cold-hearted when he failed to cry during Titanic and Marley and Me and Up. He always just blamed it on his inability to connect with fictional characters. He assured everyone he had emotions when it came to real people. And even then, Patrick had a wonderful life. What did he have to complain about?

As Patrick left the store, Patrick felt like every movie character ever was taking their revenge out on him. _How could he be so heartless before?, he wondered. Rose must have been devastated when she lost Jack. Then again… Jack wanted to be with Rose. Is losing someone more painful if their love is ripped away from you or if they actively decide to do it for you?_

For the first time in years, Patrick allowed himself to cry. It wasn’t the sobs or breathless chokes he thought it would be. But rather, a steady stream every night that week. The first night, he allowed it to happen because it was fresh and raw and he just needed the outlet. The following nights, it was induced unexpectedly by stupid reminders, including a Bridget Jones movie on TV, a text from Alexis about the difference between micro and macroeconomics, and a sappy 90s song that he hadn’t even listened to with David but sounded enough like Hanson that it evoked pain. _God this is pathetic,_ Patrick mused as he blinked rapidly while sitting at a red light. 

Patrick couldn’t understand how he felt so much loss over someone he never even had. The logic didn’t make the pain any less real.

The whole week felt like a nightmare. And Patrick was just a zombie, walking dead through the regular routine. Monday, he had hoped he would walk in to find David greeting him with open arms. Instead, David asked him questions about the sales last week and acted like Patrick’s whole world wasn’t collapsing in on itself.

So here he is on a Thursday night- hitting baseball after baseball as hard as he possibly can in the batting cage, hoping to find some semblance of pleasure and himself in the sport.

_A break...from me._ He misses the connection with the ball.

_We are business partners._ He clips the end of the next ball, sending it up and behind him. Strike two.

_Spend time with friends or like… a girlfriend._ He hits the ball dead in the center, sending it flying into the net with speed and anger.

_I’m not out yet, _he thinks. Patrick knows he has to respect David’s wishes. He never had those options with the people around him before. The least Patrick can do is honour David’s decisions. _At least I still get to see him. I’m not fired. We are still a team. _

Patrick knows he will regard David’s desires, no matter what. He deserves that. Even if it hurts like hell. _I’ve got to be strong so he is happy. _

Patrick exits the batting cage with some released steam and dry tear ducts; he feels the tiniest bit more centered. There was no denying how hard it had been the last few days- arguably some of the hardest he had ever faced. But Patrick tried to remind himself it just means that he cares. And if he does really care about David, he will do what’s best for him.

Which is why when Friday rolls around, Patrick’s new mindset is immediately tested. The universe seemed to love putting Patrick’s willpower on trial, he noted.

David entered the store, same as he had all week- dressed in black, sunglasses on, and a small ‘hello’ or ‘good morning’ in Patrick’s direction. However, today, David’s shoulders were elevated towards his ears and his fingers danced around his wrist, twisting and pinching at the skin. Patrick could instantly sense David’s anxiety, something he had become quite good at detecting.

Patrick bites his tongue in order to stop himself from asking personal questions or getting involved.

David fumbles through the morning. He drops a bottle of body milk, twice. He gives back the incorrect amount of change, thrice. And seems to zone out every time a customer asks a question. It’s when David accidentally cuts himself on a letter opener that Patrick can’t keep his thoughts to himself any longer.

“David, from a completely professional standpoint, you are kind of a mess today.”

David glares at him as he wraps a tissue around his injured finger. “I prefer the term hot mess and for your information, I am not one.” 

Patrick just raises his eyebrows and grabs a band-aid from the first aid kit in the drawer, handing it to David.

David hesitates before taking the band-aid from Patrick. “Fine. Maybe I am a little…tense today.”

“You almost gave Twyla foot cream instead of face lotion,” Patrick points out.

“The disaster was averted. Twyla will not become a real-life Regina George.”

“Well… for the safety of my business partner and our customers, do you want to talk about it?”

Patrick can see David weather an internal struggle before sighing, “I mean…if it will help me focus… on the business, I guess it couldn’t hurt.”

“Exactly. An occupational necessity really.”

Patrick nods and waits for David to proceed. When he continues to pick at his nails, Patrick inquires, “So what is the reason for this… work problem?” Patrick is trying to keep it job-focused as to not scare away David. He already seems vulnerable, ready to retreat at any given moment.

David shifts uncomfortably on his feet, ringing his hands together by his thigh. “Alexis is pregnant.”

For some reason, this is not at all what Patrick is expecting. He can’t help the “oh wow” that escapes his lips. And then his brain catches up with his mouth and he continues, “That is big news. How do you feel about it?”

David sighs deeply. “I just think I’m in a state of shock right now. The news is very numbing and I’m feeling very alone. Normally I don’t think it would affect me as much. But Alexis and I are closer now. And I already feel pretty stressed lately.”

David’s breathing accelerates and his fidgeting increases. “And my family can’t afford a child right now and honestly I’m the only one who is currently making any semblance of decent money. And I’m not at a place in my life right now to be emotionally available to a baby. And can you imagine Alexis being able to handle this? My mom mentioned her living in one of those unwed homes for mothers and now I keep picturing it and like… oh my god can you imagine? And she hasn’t even told me! How is she going to take care of a child? She can’t even take care of herself. Oh god I’m going to have to raise this baby. I can’t raise a baby!” David’s breathes are coming in shallow and he is fighting to put oxygen in his lungs.

Patrick has the sense to grab a chair from the back room and instruct David to sit in it. David doesn’t fight the instructions and places his head in his hands as soon as he is seated.

Patrick has no idea how to handle this professionally so he decides to drop the act just for a few minutes to help his friend.

“Hey, David. Look at me. Breath. In through your nose. Good. And out through your mouth. Do it with me.” Patrick is squatting so his face is in line with David’s. He is taking deep, calming breaths while instructing David. Patrick can tell David is trying his best to follow but he is still pinching at the exposed skin through his ripped jeans.

“David, it’s okay. You’re family has been through tougher situations. There is nothing you can’t do together. Alexis is strong. You are strong. It’s all going to work out,” Patrick attempts to reach the analytical side of David. But David is already spiraling.

He has only witnessed David have a panic attack once before. It scared him half to death. Thankfully, Stevie had been there to sooth him, somehow knowing exactly what to say and do. Patrick remembers having an unexplained jealousy for her deeper understanding of David. But now, he wishes Stevie was here to take away this anxiety David is experiencing.

Snatching another chair from the back, Patrick sits so he is face-to-face with David. David isn’t even aware of him though. He is clearly preoccupied in his own mind. His fingers dig crescents into his palms in-between attempts to shake them out from the numbness tingling down his limbs.

Patrick sees David’s hands clawing for solid ground and decides to throw his professionalism out the window. _Fuck this. He can hate me later. _

Patrick grabs both of David’s hands and wraps his own hands completely and solidly around them. His hands are much bigger but Patrick holds them as tightly as possible within his own.

This awakens David slightly, as he looks up with searching eyes. His breathing is still labored and he looks scared.

“David, I’m right here. Watch me. We are going to breath together.” He takes deep breaths, counting them with David as he attempts to follow along. Patrick moves David’s hands so one of each of his hands is fit between Patrick’s. He squeezes tightly to remind him that he is here.

David’s face slowly regains color and Patrick can feel his heart-rate slowing through their touching palms. David’s breaths are still strained but gradually returning to a pace that doesn’t completely terrify Patrick.

Patrick is mumbling affirmations in-between his deep breaths and inhalation instructions. He has no control of his mouth, voicing things he knows are definitely too intense for business partners. “I’ve got you. I’m here. It’s going to be okay. You’re safe. Safe with me here…”.

Patrick barely realizes how scared he is until the moment is slowing down. His palms are definitely sweating as they hold onto David’s and his heart is pounding in his ears. He forces himself to calm down, knowing it won’t do any good if David sees his own distress.

David begins to re-position himself in the chair and wiggle his fingers. Patrick absentmindedly strokes his thumb across the back of David’s hands. He doesn’t know what to say to make this better. He’s guessing David will be embarrassed and angry this happened. So he decides to savor the moment before David pulls away.

“David, listen to me. You have a whole support system here. So many people love your family, including me. It may be stressful but we will make it work just like you always do.” He is rubbing slow circles on David’s hands. “David, look at me. Talk to me. Are you okay?”

David, who has avoided any eye-contact since his breathing returned to normal, looks up at Patrick. “I…”, he squeaks. He clears his throat a few times and looks down at his lap, “I’m okay.”

Patrick didn’t believe it for a second. They were in too deep now. He had to see this through.

“Tell me what you’re thinking.”

\---

David feels bile in his throat and heat forming at the tips of his ears. David had felt embarrassed and ashamed before but nothing compared to the humiliation that was coursing through his blood right in this moment.

Panic attacks had been a part of David’s life ever since he was a kid. But he had only recently found a name to describe the dreaded feeling of looming disaster. Despite his initial assumption that panic attacks were not real, David had come to accept the terminology and learn to maneuver through the episodes. The anxiety had become a lot more frequent since moving to Schitt’s Creek. At least he could say his coping mechanics were significantly better than what they once were.

David was proud that it had been months since his last one. Even bragged about it to Stevie a couple weeks ago. But now… he was absolutely mortified.

He knew it was a combination of events setting off this one horrible moment. Between the news of a pregnancy and the distancing from Patrick and the stress of the business and Stevie acting particularly strange lately… it had all came tumbling down in one heaping mess.

David sat staring at his lap, unsure how to recover from this situation. His mind was weary, the edges of his brain fuzzy with the aftermath of oxygen deprivation. And he honestly wasn’t going to find it in himself to push Patrick away right now. He didn’t want to. The hands holding his were the only thing keeping him grounded, unable to float away. It felt like home. David was in no state-of-mind to keep the business partner facade up.

Wringing his wrists, he finally finds his voice. “I think I’m having a lot of anxiety right now.” It is the only thing his brain can focus on.

A soft chuckle pulls him away from his apprehensive thoughts. “Really? I never would have guessed.”

David looks up and sees that Patrick is fighting between feeling guilty for his comment or leaning into his teasing voice. David can’t help but give the smallest smile. “Shut up.”

Patrick’s face breaks into a full-blown grin. He grips David’s hands tighter and sits up in the chair so his knees are bumping against David’s. “Tell me. Please. I want to know.”

David presses his own knee’s further into Patrick’s, pulling him back further to the Earth. He knows why it all stresses him out but he doesn’t exactly have the words for it. He sighs into his response, “I don’t know how to explain it. I feel like all these little things are suffocating me. And the idea of a baby is… the ultimate asphyxiation.”

Patrick just nods, encouraging him to continue.

“When I was growing up, I didn’t really have…anyone. I mean I had Adelina and the money but no…family. My parents were barely around. Alexis was always off gallivanting around the world. And I just wouldn’t wish that upon anyone. It was lonely. And what if this child is like me. And has to deal with all this shittiness I experienced in my life.” 

Patrick watches him intently, waiting to see if he will say more. When he doesn’t, Patrick speaks. “That is definitely a reason to feel stress over. But David, this is totally different than when you were growing up. You have a whole community behind this kid. And you know your family has changed, including yourself. And your experiences are the exact reason why you would be so great at helping Alexis. You would be the best life coach anyone could ask for. A better life coach than Alexis is for you.”

Fondness for his family overtakes him. Alexis and her stupid titles. It was heartwarming. He had to admit to himself that things were definitely different. If this child grew up in Schitt’s Creek, they would have the biggest, nosiest, caring family. Underneath the relief, David even felt a hint of jealousy at the prospect.

“Did I tell you I once tried to life-coach a teenager?” David smirks, watching Patrick’s reaction.

His eyebrows raise on his forehead and he lets out a small snort. “By choice?”

“Jocelyn.”

“Mmm she does have a knack for convincing you to do nice things.”

David can’t deny that. “She would make a much better mother than Alexis,” David muses.

“Hey have some faith in your sister.”

David shrugs and look down again at their clasped hands. Patrick seems to note them at the same time. He gently pulls his right hand out of David’s strong grip. Before David can feel shame about his instantaneous disappointment, Patrick is flipping David’s hand over in his own and places David’s palm between his two hands. It feels warm and comforting and like they’d done it a million times before.

“It’s going to be okay. We will get through this.”

_We_. With his senses fully returned, David is watching his mistake play out in front of him. Not only had he forced Patrick to deal with him during a panic attack, but now he felt thoroughly obligated to care for all his trauma. Patrick shouldn’t have to carry anymore of David’s baggage. David wants to crawl into the darkest hole he can find.

With every bit of mental strength in his being, David slowly inches his hand out of Patrick’s hold. It immediately feels wrong. “I’m sorry”, he whispers. “Sorry you had to see all of that and listen to me. Let’s just pretend like my branding isn’t totally destroyed, okay?” He sniffles and sits back in the chair, distancing himself from the warm and comfortable bubble they so effortlessly created. 

David is shocked when he feels Patrick inch his way back into his space. He places a hand on David’s knee, squeezing lightly.

“Hey, David.”

David pulls his gaze away from the hand he is fully entranced by to look into Patrick’s concerned and caring eyes. 

“Please don’t be sorry. Please. I want to listen to you. I want to be here…for you. We are… business partners, that’s true. And I respect that relationship. But I also know that you are one of the strongest, most hilarious, unique persons I’ve ever met. And I will do anything to support that person. I’ll be whatever person you want me to be. Need me to be. Business or otherwise.”

David could feel his throat tightening and god dammit he was not going to cry. How was Patrick real? And how did he find a way to make this even harder? David takes his time to swallow the lump threatening to creep up his throat. He is searching for a response in the stitch of his pants to no avail. His mind is so conflicted and confused and just plain exhausted.

Patrick saves him again for what seems like the hundredth time today. “I know you’re emotionally drained.”

_He always knows what I’m thinking. _

“So just know that I’m here whenever you need to talk. Or feel anxious. Just don’t feel sorry.”

For once, David allows his motor capabilities to run on auto-pilot. He has no time to take it back once his hand is reaching out for the comfort it craves. He places it on top of Patrick’s hand and squeezes the tops of his fingers.

“Thank you. Seriously.”

Patrick is looking at him with so much fondness, he forces his eyes to look back down at his hand. “Oh fuck. I didn’t put the band-aid on and I got blood on your hands…and pants. Shit.”

Patrick feigns disgust. “You absolute monster”, he utters as he pulls his hand from David’s grasp.

David knows its a joke but he does really want those hands on him again. “Help me put it on?” _God I really am a hot mess. I need to get away from this man. _

Patrick doesn’t seem to mind in the slightest. He already has the band-aid in hand and is pulling David’s finger close to his face for inspection. He gently places the sticky end around the finger. Patrick holds the two ends shut, applying a light pressure to keep it closed. David hates that his mind thinks about how Patrick knows exactly how to take care of him.

However, the moment is ruined and the bubble finally bursts as a customer enters the store. Patrick turns to greet them, pointing in the direction of the bath salts. “I’ll be over to help you in a second.”

David clearly can’t hide the annoyance on his face. Luckily Patrick takes it as a sign of pain from the cut on his finger. He points at David’s injury and jokes, “Do you think you’re going to make it through?”

David’s lips pull into a side grin. “Hmm unclear. Unclear if I’m going to make it through or not.”

“Hang in there,” Patrick pats his knee and smiles as he walks over to the other side of the room.

David squeezes his eyes tightly shut. A whole new set of tension overcomes him. But this anxiety feels a lot more like those butterflies he was trying so hard to suppress. _I am so weak. I can’t even make it a week without wanting to abandon my plans. _

David glances over at Patrick who is helping the woman with her selections. They make eye contact and Patrick smirks. _He fucking smirked. This man is going to be the death of me. _

David mentally decides he is going to have a long talk with Stevie tonight. A part two to their last adventure with hopefully a happier conclusion.

David reaches for his phone to send a text to Stevie.

** **To Best Friend/Wishes: ** **

** **Ditch your spa plans. We are hanging out tonight and we have a lot to discuss. I’ll bring some of Mr. Hockley’s loose leaf tea ** **


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 20 questions later, Patrick and David are figuring out the boundaries of their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally some fluff and compromise! The struggle isn’t over yet but we can finally see some light. This chapter was very texting heavy so I hope the emotions still came across well.  
Side note: you guys are the best for sticking through this slow burn. Hope you're enjoying reading it as much as I am writing it 😊

“Why can’t business partners hold hands?”

David finds himself in almost the exact same place as last week. However, the world has turned upside down as David is now looking down at Stevie from the bed. David parallels this change in perspective as a sign that his beliefs are within reason.

Stevie just glares up at him, unchanging in her facial features. In the hundredth attempt to satisfy her munchies, she reaches into the bag of Doritos nacho cheese chips sitting next to her. She makes eye contact with David as she shoves a handful into her mouth.

Unamused, David questions the universe and Stevie once again. “Don’t you think that business professionals can also hold hands and text each other and comfort each other for the sake of the company?” It seems reasonable. 

“Or…”, Stevie mumbles through her chewing. “You two can stop being stupid and just make-out or some shit already… like I originally said?” Her words are pointed and annoyed but with a sense of affection behind them.

“And here’s why that doesn’t work…”, David relents, ready to jump into a detailed explanation.

“Yeah, yeah”, Stevie waves her hands dismissively. “Patrick is straight. You are emotionally unavailable. You have a business together. I know I know.”

David sits up on the bed. “Am I annoying you?”, said with a twinge of annoyance himself.

Stevie rolls her eyes. “Yes. You’re being an idiot. You both are.”

David crosses his arms over his chest, trying to protect himself from Stevie’s blows. “Also emotionally unavailable makes me seem like some kind of sociopath or distraught housewife. I’ll have you know I’m much more sophisticated than that.”

“I can’t believe I gave up the… spa for this”, Stevie mumbles.

“This has literally been the most unhelpful conversation I’ve ever had!”

Stevie grabs the lighter and sets flame to the makeshift joint created from the tea David brought with him. “Can we both just get high as fuck and forget about what a horrible week this has turned out to be?”

David wants to find an answer to this puzzle but knows it likely does not lie with Stevie and her weed-induced brain. He watches her take another hit and doesn’t refuse when she passes it to him. He takes a long drag, filling his lungs with the potential to forget this all happened in the first place. To forget Patrick.

Of course, this is the last thing it does for him. He lets his mind zone out as he sits above Stevie, watching the colored pictures of the cartoon they are watching pass across the screen.

Thoughts of Patrick and his warm hands wrapped around him flood his mind. Paired with Patrick’s very clean mouth, he can only imagine what this wonderful combination could do for him.

Maybe he should feel the shame for his next actions, but David is far too high and relieved to have a moment of calmness in his mind to really care.

** **To Patrick Brewer: ** **

** **David, hi it’s Patrick** **

He knows Patrick will instantly realize he is high. Patrick often teased him with the line ever since David admitted to the reason for the embarrassing voice-mails. Or at least, the reason he told Patrick.

The response is almost immediate. It shouldn’t make David as happy as it does.

_High how are you? _

David holds back a giggle that threatens to escape his lips.

** **So very** **

_Sounds like it. Are you with Stevie again tonight, David? _

** **Maybe ** **

_Is it helping with the anxiety?_

** **Actually, yes. I am feeling very relaxed at the moment. Not at relaxed as when I used to go to the La Mamounia spa but it’s a start ** **

_I’m really glad to hear that _

_We need to find you a masseuse to fix that _

David starts to type out the words ‘are you offering’ but thankfully deletes the message before he can make an even bigger fool of himself.

** **We really do ** **

_I’m sure Ray would do it. He basically has every other job in this town_

David doesn’t even realize how his lips are pulling tight across his teeth until he hears a suddenly interested and disappointed Stevie.

“What are you doing?”

David wears a guilty wide-mouthed grin. He really doesn’t have a way to explain his way out of this one.

Stevie just shakes her head and throws back a brownie into her mouth. In-between bites she grumbles to herself, “Fucking idiots.”

\---

Patrick is not expecting a text from David. He feels like he is going to get whiplash from all these changes in emotions. Not that he’s really complaining. These highs were definitely worth the lows.

They’ve been writing back and forth for at least half an hour now. He keeps expecting David to stop responding, shutting him out as easily as he did before. But the moment never comes and Patrick doesn’t have the strength to try and protect himself from what this could be making him feel tomorrow.

** **So you’ve only smoked weed once. How is that possible?** **

_Hi, my name is Patrick. It’s nice to meet you _

** **I’m reconsidering everything I know about you** **

_You know me _

** **Do I?** **

_Yes_

** **We should play that game. The one with the twenty questions ** **

_You mean 20 questions?_

** **Yes!** **

Patrick shifts down further into the sheets. He had gotten ready for bed an hour ago, prepared to sleep away this fever-dream of a day. Instead, the day’s energy seems to have seeped into the nighttime air and Patrick is intoxicated with it.

_Alright what do you want to know? _

** **When/where/who/how/why did you smoke weed?** **

_That is not a sentence_

_And I’m pretty sure that counts as five different questions _

😒

_Fine fine I’ll give you this one _

_It was in college _

_In my dorm_

_With my roommate and girlfriend at the time_

_Supplied by said roommate _

_Because it was supposed to be fun_

** **Wow calm down on all those details. I could barely find the story through all the words ** **

** **“Supposed to be fun”? Was it not fun? ** **

** **Was your roommate a drug dealer? ** **

** **Who is this girlfriend I’ve never heard of before? ** **

_Are we still counting this as one question because that seems to break the one rule this game has? _

** **There is definitely more than one rule** **

_It was…alright. I don’t know. Nothing really felt different to be honest_

_My roommate was possibly a drug dealer. Definitely something shady going on there. I think you would have liked him _

** **Should I be offended?** **

_Definitely _

_Okay my turn _

_What was your first weed experience like?_

** **Another weed question. You know I appreciate a good theme but you are really putting all the pressure on me to carry out this game if you will only ask the same questions back ** **

_Exactly. So you better be careful what you ask _

** **Rude** **

** **Fine** **

** **It was in High School and I was very eager to fit in. My crush at the time was very into the grunge skater look. So I smoked during one of the typical high school parties. Of course, nothing really came of it besides my new-found outlet and coping mechanism** ** ** _ ** ** _ **

_Did he say anything to you during the party? _

** **She. And no. She was far too busy lounging with her model friends in their bikinis. Which definitely did not help** **

Patrick is taken aback for a second. He has been friends with David for quite sometime now and liked to think he knew everything about the man. Somehow David’s sexuality had always slipped under the radar. Patrick realizes he had always just assumed David’s preferences, which was immensely unfair considering it had become a personal pet peeve of his as of lately.

He had heard David talk about his ex when he came into town- Sebastian. Patrick mentally scoffs just thinking about the douchebag that David had ranted to him about for many days at work. Patrick’s stomach had been in knots all week. On one side of things, Patrick was dying to meet this guy just so he could make some biting remarks about his character. On the other hand, Patrick couldn’t bear the thought of being in the same room with someone who had gotten to touch David like he so badly wanted to.

In some ways though, it had also given him some relief. He had truly confirmed that David was gay- a fact that had somehow not been discussed since their meeting. __Obviously not.__ Maybe he was correct that they actually didn’t know each other as well as he thought they had. 

_Can I ask my second question now_

** **Although that goes against the only other rule of the game, I’m intrigued** **

_I don’t know how to phrase this without it sounding prying _

** **That’s the whole point ** **

_Okay_

_Well_

_What is your sexuality?_

_Or what do you identify as?_

_I don’t know how I should phrase that _

_What kind of people are you interested in?_

_I feel like I’m digging myself into a deeper hole_

_I’m just going to let you answer_

** **Oh I assumed you knew considering all the wine analogies me and Stevie constantly make** **

_Analogies? I thought you both just really like wine_

** **Oh we do** **

** **Basically I like all wine** **

_Okay?_

** **It is occurring to me now that the analogy makes no sense if you’ve never heard it before** **

** **I am anti-label, both in my wine options and in my sexuality descriptors ** **

** **But if I had to label my sexuality, it would be pan** **

Patrick knows he has heard the term before and is saddens him that he can’t instantly conjure up the definition. He flips over to Google and types the word into the search bar. He is presented with results, sifting through the top answers. Patrick pieces together David’s analogy.

_Anti-label wines. Clever _

** **I thought so. Stevie thinks I overuse it, which may be true. But I’m proud of it** **

_Well I like it_

Patrick ponders what to say next, feeling a strange intensity radiating from the situation.

_I feel kind of stupid for never asking you before_

** **It’s not a big deal. I don’t really want to be defined by that anyways** **

_You’re right. You are so much more than your bad taste in people you date_

** **I’ll have you know that my rich dating history consists of some occasionally decent human-beings** **

_Well the dating pool I’m currently aware of is a grunge model, a jerk photographer, and a washed-up pop-star _

****And I can see where you may draw some conclusions based on that****

_Statistically speaking, you have a world of options to choose from _

** **I have to find myself some nice fine wine ** **

_Maybe with some fruity undertones? _

** **I also like vanilla accents** **

_Perhaps a nice blend?_

** **A dash of spice** **

_I am seeing how this analogy could be overused_

\---

18 questions deep and the clock reads 2:03 AM. Stevie is snoring lightly next to David as he quietly types out messages to Patrick on his dimly-lit screen under the covers. He feels his eyes drooping in-between each buzz of the phone between his fingers. But he can’t bring himself to say goodnight.

Today felt like a dream. He had broken down in front of Patrick and been enveloped by the comfort he found in him. He had smoked weed and was now delving into the personal life of Patrick. David felt like if he drifted to sleep, the magic would come to an end. Life would return to the bitter frigidity of the previous day, like his own version of Cinderella. David brushed the thought away, shuddering at the idea of comparing himself to someone so hopeless. He decided Elsa was the most similar to him of all the princesses, cold and afraid to get too close to anyone.

_I mean I’m sure they had your best interest at heart_

_They probably figured they were helping you by paying for everything in the gallery _

** **Sure but it has definitely given my a complex about success without the help of my family or their money** **

** **Which is why I am so dedicated to Rose Apothecary working out ** **

_It is more than working out _

_It is thriving, as you would say _

** **I’m glad you are picking up on my vocabulary ** **

** **So what about you then** **

** **First job? ** **

_Ah you’re going to love this one_

_Rose Video _

** **Excuse me** **

** **How did I not know you worked at a Rose Video???** **

_It never came up_

** **I don’t believe in fate or whatever but that does seem like a very strange coincide ** **

** **When was this?** **

_Guess I was always destined to be connected with the Rose name _

_High school _

_I took the job to help my parent’s out _

_It wasn’t the best paying but it gave my parent’s a little bit of security _

** **With what?** **

_You know mortgage and insurance and all that fun stuff_

** **Sounds stressful** **

_It was. We didn’t have a lot of money growing up. I mean we got by but things were always a little tight and I did what I could to contribute _

** **You never told me that before ** **

_It isn’t something I really talk about. I had a great childhood. My family is super close and supportive and the money was just a minor detail _

_Plus I didn’t know how you would feel about that _

** **What do you mean?** **

_Well money seems like a sensitive topic, what with your family’s situation and all _

** **Hmm yes but you and I have never been ones to shy away from awkward topics** **

** **You can tell me things… if you want** **

** **Or if you’re comfortable with it ** **

_I suppose you have a point there and I will_

_From now on, I solemnly swear to try and remember every detail about my life and tell said details to you without having to be interrogated during a child’s game _

** **Thank you ** **

** **That’s all I’ve ever really wanted ** **

He is smiling at his phone, wishing Patrick was lying next to him right now. He allows his high, tired, mentally-exhausted mind to drop it’s walls.__ Just for a minute__, he promises himself. He thinks about Patrick’s hands again, wrapping around his own. He runs his thumb over his palm, pretending it is Patrick’s knowing fingers comforting him. He wants these pillow talks with an actual pillow shared between them, face to face, holding hands, and whispering about things that were far too difficult to talk about in the light of the day.

He let’s the phone slip onto his chest as he relaxes into the thought. He thinks about Patrick pulling him in close, wrapping those arms around his body to keep out all the anxiety and negative thoughts and regrets of bad decisions. Maybe a kiss on the forehead to assure him everything is alright. It feels alright.

What feels like only a few seconds later, David opens his eyes to sunlight streaming in through the curtains. Disoriented, David grasps for his phone to see the time and a few texts from Patrick.

7:05 AM. He must have had the most relaxing sleep of his life, never waking once in the short time he was dreaming.

_I am here to please _

_Now I think that puts you at question 19_

_Looks like you fell asleep _

_Gives you plenty of time to come up with your next question- better be a good one _

_Goodnight, David_

With the weed out of his system and a surprisingly well-rested sleep for its short duration, David stares at the screen with a clear head. He realizes he can’t really go back to his aloof demeanor after yesterday’s events. He wouldn’t want to even if he could. But he also knows his heart is still definitely on the line, especially after texting with Patrick all night long.

His mind runs in circles to find a solution, even considering waking up Stevie to talk through it again. David decides against it knowing she may just dump him as a friend altogether at this point.

The great thing about David’s mind is his ability to convenience himself of anything he really wants to believe. And at this moment, David really really _really _wants to believe that he can maintain a professional relationship with his business partner while also having affectionate conversations and participating in occasional hand holding and touching (because that was definitely still on his mind). He could be professional but not…distant, he decides.

And with that decision, David responds.

** **My question is this: how angry will you be if I am late to work today? ** **

David really isn’t expecting a response considering how late they were both up. But of course, Patrick doesn’t disappoint, even for a second. 

_You’re up so early. How could you possibly be late?_

** **Traffic** **

_You walk to work on Saturday’s_

** **Foot traffic** **

_The answer is yes- enraged with hatred _

** **Really?** **

_You are the laziest, most hardworking person I know_

** **Thank you. I take great pride in my titles ** **

_I’ll see you in 50 minutes sharp _

** **You are the most discouraging, motivator I know ** **

_49 minutes_

** **I take it back. Just plain demoralizing ** **

_See you soon!_

David groans and slowly sits up in bed. Stevie stirs in her sleep and slowly opens her eyes to look at David.

“The only good thing about having sleepovers with you is I have an excuse to sleep in. Don’t ruin this friendship for me.”

“You are mean in the morning.”

“One of the many things we have in common.”

David rolls his eyes and swings his legs to sit on the side of the bed.

“Leaving so soon? I thought we really had something special.”

“Nope. Just your typical one night stand,” he yawns as he grabs his stuff from the side of the bed.

“So I’m assuming you’ve made some decisions after texting your lover all night.”

David stands from the bed and turns around. “He is not my lover. And for your information, I have come to some conclusions about the situation. None of which you helped with.”

“Hey! I got high with you.”

“You didn’t even supply the weed.”

“I sat here very supportively and said nothing when you were smoking way too much.”

David scoffs and continues to busy himself getting ready.

“So are you going to make-out with him now or what?”

“No. We are going to continue being professional,” David says without looking at her.

“Andddd?”

_Damn her for knowing me so well_,__ David mentally curses.

“I am allowing myself a respite from the stress. I can talk to him and maintain professional boundaries.”

“I don’t know what that means.”

David thinks about it and decides he has no response. “I really don’t either. But I will make it work.”

“Alright whatever you say. I’ll stay tuned for next week’s weed talk.” She turns over on the pillow and settles under the blanket.

David simultaneously hates and loves her. After another minute of getting ready, he sets to head out the door. Stevie is already sleeping again as David slips out the front door.

As he walks to work, David tries to create boundaries for himself to no avail.

_Okay just don’t touch him. Wait no… that sounds so nice though. Okay just don’t kiss him. I mean…that’s basically what we were already doing. Maybe just don’t get so personal. Although we kind of already broke that last night. Fuck me…out of the question, right?,_ David stresses.

By the time he reaches the store, he has literally no plan or boundaries whatsoever._Just be calm. See what he does. Surely he can be honest in his actions regarding what he wants. _

Mentally collecting himself, David enters the store with dwindling self-control, an apprehensive heart, and a desire to pick up where he left off last night.

\---

Patrick has no idea how they got here but he does not intend on taking any steps backwards. After last week, he had been sure he had lost David forever. Now, this roller-coaster of a journey has left him feeling like he knows him better than ever. Patrick sifts through his phone as he gets ready for the morning, landing on ‘Crazy in Love’ by Beyonce to be the most accurate and David-approved song of the day.

He felt dizzy with thoughts of David and giddy to know more. Never had he thought David would open up to him so much, especially after this past week. On the flip side, Patrick was also shocked by his own willingness to tell David things he never had before. It felt safe and right and like David understood him.

Eagerly, Patrick checks his phone every minute hoping that the magic hasn’t ended. He knows its likely it will. Yesterday had been a step into a parallel universe. A different dimension. An escape from this nightmare he was stuck in. It seems almost impossible that David will jump back into the heartfelt conversations and friendship. But that doesn’t mean Patrick wasn’t holding out for it.

When a response finally comes, Patrick feels his whole face involuntarily light up. Maybe everything would be okay. He knows he can’t jump back into his plans to tell David how he really feels. It obviously wasn’t something David wanted. But Patrick would do anything to have his friend back.

Once Patrick arrived at the store, he contemplated the best plan of action. All Patrick wanted to do was run his thumb across David’s palm again and feel the untouched space between his fingers. But he also knew he had to keep his distance… if that was possible.

When David enters the store, Patrick realizes he is still totally unsure of how to handle the situation.

David removes his sunglasses and looks unsure of whether or not to smile.

“You made it with 3 minutes to spare. I’m impressed.” Patrick mentally hits himself. _That was a stupid thing to say,_ he chastises himself._ I guess that settles whether we are acknowledging the texting or not. _

David’s unsure face morphs into a familiar one, partnered with one of his famous eye-rolls. “I am nothing if not reliable.”

Patrick looks at him with un-amused fondness. “I would say you are also ‘Mr. Andrew’s favorite student’. Don’t forget you are also most definitely that.”

“I told you that within the boundaries of the sacred 20 questions game. No content shall leave the confines of the game. I decided that is another rule.”

David is putting his bag down and has a slight blush coloring his cheeks. Patrick is tempted to reach out and feel the warm skin under his fingers. He places his hands behind his back before he can do anything stupid.

David continues talking to distract from his growing embarrassment. “To be fair, who tutors someone in the back of a library? It just sounds like the start of a taboo date.”

“Pretty sure that’s where all tutoring takes place. But who knows? Maybe he was really into emo, socially-awkward 11th graders. In the same library where his wife worked.”

“I swear it was their way of introducing an open relationship.”

Patrick laughs, not really at David but at the fact that they were talking like this again. It felt so damn good.

David makes his way behind the counter and begins to fiddle with something in the drawer. Still testing the boundaries, Patrick decides to play the middle ground.

“So for the sake of our business partnership and the best interest of the company, I must ask how you are doing.”

“Is that you asking?” David smirks with a smug look on his face.

“David, how are you today?”

“I’m fine.”

Silence overcomes the room, the only noise coming from the papers David moves around in the drawers.“So…” he doesn’t know what else to say but is afraid to let silence overtake them in case David changes his mind. David looks up.

“I was wondering how you are actually. Since yesterday and stuff. Are you feeling any better?” Before David can respond he cuts himself off. “I am not actually asking for the sake of the business.” He supposes he should just make that clear now.

David just nods his head, his lips tight in a straight line. “Everything is much better. Shockingly, Alexis is not pregnant”.

“Oh well that is…good news? I guess? Are you relieved?”

“Very. It was just adding to the anxiety and well… you know.”

Patrick thinks he is starting to know. He nods. “Well I’m glad it’s all going to work out.”

A silence falls over them again and this time, Patrick doesn’t know how to continue the conversation without prying. He turns around to organize the table when David catches his attention.

“So I think I have a better 19th question,” David says nonchalantly like the statement hasn’t shaken Patrick’s core, leaving him unsteady with anticipation.

“Shoot”, Patrick says much calmer than he actually feels.

“Well your prying into my mortifying high school moments got me thinking about school. And how your college experience was. So, Patrick, what was the craziest thing you did in University?”

“Craziest?”, Patrick says skeptically.

“You know. Break the law? Hook-up with a random? Get arrested? Drugs? The basics really.”

“We had very different college experiences. Fine…,” Patrick racks his brain for a response that doesn’t make he seem like an absolute loser. The truth is he hadn’t done many crazy things in college. “I did throw a banger party once.”

“I don’t think anyone says banger anymore. And please continue.”

“As you said, the basics. Alcohol and lots of people and the police showing up.”

“What?! Did you get arrested?”

“Nah I snuck out the back door of my own house, not that I really remember it.”

“Who knew Patrick Brewer was such a badass?”

“Mmm and apparently a stripper as well. According to friends and possible video evidence, I performed a rather risque dance routine for a tree.”

David’s eyes light up at the news of an embarrassing thing he can use to counter Patrick. “ A. Tree.”

“Maybe I thought it was a person.”

“I need this video evidence right this instance.”

“I’m afraid I burned it all along with my dignity.”

“If it exists, Alexis will find it.”

“Ah yes one of her many talents.”

Patrick is pretty much ready to re-enact his striptease if that’s what David requests when a customer enters the store. He quickly realigns his thoughts and greets the patron, welcoming the distraction from his ever-growing dirty and dangerous thoughts. 

\---

“Alright fine fine. I’ll tell you!” The reasonable voice in David’s head is telling him to tamper down his smile and enthusiasm. But he can’t seem to control it. After a week of repression, his thoughts and feelings are pouring out of him with a vivaciousness he can’t diminish.

“Okay what would you do then?”

“Well before all this”, David gestures to the entirety of the store, “I suppose I would have spent a million dollars in one trip.”

“A singular trip?”, Patrick says dubiously.

“Vacations are expensive. And I didn’t say how long the trip was. Maybe a two week excursion?”

Patrick looks dumbfounded so David keeps talking. “And I would bring my ‘friends’ along which is really half the money. And obviously spend some on a yacht or drinks or something.”

“Something is not adding up here,” Patrick chuckles and shakes his head. “And how would you spend it now?”

“Now… I guess I haven’t given it much thought lately. Money that is. I suppose we could expand the store out. Maybe set up a shop in Elmdale? Or grow our market to outside of the 100 miles we are currently at.”

Patrick looks shocked and David is confused for a second until his own words set in. “Maybe I need a vacation from this job.”

A smile spreads across Patrick’s face. “I find it endearing how passionate you are about the business. It’s why it works. And for the record, my money would go towards Rose Apothecary as well. And maybe just a tiny slice towards one of those vacations you were talking about.”

“Where would we go?”

“We?”

“For a business expense obviously.”

“Greece?”

“Paris?”

“Oh Portugal!”

“Hawaii definitely.”

The decision for their hypothetical “business trip” continues for quite some time, accompanied by arguments from David and a promised spreadsheet from Patrick. The conversation is put on hold when a few customers gather in the store, keeping the two busy away from one another.

David keeps looking across the room, unintentionally staring at his business partner. His mind is still convincing him that the company will flourish best with business partners who get along. It doesn’t have to mean anything else. _I can protect myself from any other feelings_, David persuades himself.

The noise of the front door closing pulls David from his musings. They are alone again and the store falls into a comfortable quiet. David makes his way around the counter to spray the flowers in front.

“Alright you have one more question.”

Patrick walks around to stand opposite of David. “And then I never can ask anything of you ever again?”

“That’s exactly right.”

“That is a lot of pressure.”

At this moment, Jocelyn enters the store. David tries to hide the annoyance on his face, but that’s honestly a given for his look anyhow.

“Hello boys. Just coming in to get some of that hand cream. Do you have any?”

Jocelyn continues to talk about her dry hands, blaming it on the pregnancy. David absentmindedly reaches for the hand cream placed next to him on the counter, ready to be alone with Patrick as soon as possible. Patrick must also be in a rush for Jocelyn’s departure because he quickly grabs for the cream as well. His hand falls on David’s less than a second after David is holding the lotion. 

David breathes out a soft ‘oh’ and feels his body involuntarily stiffen. Before he has the chance to pull away, Patrick is softly patting his hand and apologizing. He lets his hand linger for a few seconds while he talks to Jocelyn, before he grabs the cream and places it into David’s hand. David wonders if he is imaging things when he feels Patrick gently rub his thumb against David's fingers as he places the cream.

Temporarily stunned, David begs his motor functions to return to normal. “Jocelyn,” he says as he hands her the bottle. “Is this the one you were looking for?”

Jocelyn is oblivious to David’s inner turmoil as she analyzes the lotion and nods. “That’s the one. Hopefully this helps because I’m desperate…and stressed.”

Patrick offers to check her out at the register, seemingly unaffected by the touch. David, on the other-hand, is reeling. He had drifted to sleep thinking about touching those hands again. And here he was with the opportunity and he let it slip through his fingers, literally.

When Jocelyn leaves, Patrick makes his way back around the desk. David is definitely not thinking about other accidental ways to touch Patrick’s hand.

“Can you believe Jocelyn is pregnant?”

Still in his own head, David takes a beat too long to answer. “Oh yeah. It’s definitely better than the alternative.”

“Alternative?”

“Alexis.”

“Ah I think Roland makes up for that good faith though.”

Motor capabilities returning, David starts moving about the store again. “You are correct.”

“Speaking of Roland and this town, and I’m realizing this is a horrible transition, but did you see the Schitt’s Creek annual asbestos fest is coming up?”

“I avoid any kind of ‘fests’ unless they revolve around food.”

“Well they are having a sort of volunteer sign up tomorrow which I heard will have food in hopes of getting some people involved.”

David’s ears perk up. “What kind of food?”

“Barbecue probably.”

David turns on his heels. “Do I actually have to sign up to volunteer if I come to this thing?”

Patrick shrugs. “I think its just an excuse for the town to have a party. Plus, your mom is headlining. I think your family is doing enough as it is.”

David is unsurprised by the news of his mother performing since he had been a part of the musical-choosing process since the day Jocelyn mentioned the word ‘fundraiser’.

“Anyways”, Patrick brings his hand behind his head to scratch at his neck. “I have that last question for you. Would you, uh, want to go to the thing with me tomorrow? I mean… for fun. Stevie can come along. We can eat food and hang out.”

David hushes his racing heart, convincing himself it is most definitely not a date. __And __that hanging out with Patrick outside of work was still professional and totally not slowly crushing his feelings at all. David feigns amusement and annoyance, “That is hardly a worthy 20th question.”

Patrick’s shoulders visibly relax and he grins. “Okay I promise to come up with a better one if you promise to come with me so I’m not the one eating the most food at the barbecue.”

“You know that is solely dependent on the options for sides,” David jokes. “Okay yes fine I’ll go. Stevie will come too.”

Patrick nods, satisfied with the answer. “Alright perfect. It’s a… business engagement then.”

David smirks, “A business engagement.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pre-Asbestos Fest shenanigans with a guest appearance from an ex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHH I can’t believe this story has received over 100 kudos! I seriously never would have thought it would get the reception that it has. It makes me so incredibly happy. Thank you so so much for encouraging me to keep writing and being the sweetest human beings ever.  
Also, thank you for sticking with the slow burn. I know it’s been a rough few chapters but I think this is a turning point. So I hope you all enjoy it. :)

When Patrick told David about the pre-asbestos fest event, he had pictured a small barbecue around Roland’s old grill while Jocelyn attempted (and succeeded) to convince people to join as volunteers. What David was not expecting was a small pony, an “impromptu” performance from his mother, and a small makeshift Ferris wheel well on its way towards its last spin.

“What the fuck?”, David mutters under his breath.

Stevie shrugs her shoulders next to him as they walk up to the scene. “They make this event ‘more extravagant’ every year. Are we really surprised by Roland’s inability to spend money wisely for this town?”

Patrick walks on the other side of David, occasionally bumping his shoulder against his; David convinces himself it’s accidental. “Are we complaining? This is the most activity I’ve ever seen in Schitt’s Creek since I moved here.”

“That is not something you should be smiling about”, David says pointedly.

Truth be told, David was a little bit happy himself. Happy to be doing something other than work. Happy to be here with Stevie and his business partner…fuck it- happy to be here with Patrick. And surrounded by familiar faces with the smell of slow-cooked meat and baked potatoes wafting through the air. This felt like happiness.

“Aw come on, David. You’re telling me you don’t want to pet… Chuckles?”

“I most certainly do not want to catch some disease carried by barn yard animals.”

“Think you’re a little too late on that one. Oh beer!” Stevie speed walks past them over to a small table selling store-purchased beers.

Finally alone with Patrick for the first time this evening, David suddenly has an unexplained feeling of nerves. He had promised himself before the event to keep his feelings in check. But the idea is slowly fading as he bumps his shoulder once again against Patrick, who appears to be keeping a lot closer than usual. And now, looking down, he is in direct eyesight of Patrick’s hands. And it was possible that those hands had been the only thing on his mind for the past day.

“You want one?”, Patrick offers sincerely.

Alcohol is probably the last thing he should have right now if he is going to remain rational. “You know how I feel about beer.”

“It’s only meant to be drank at ‘tail-fences’ and during Oktoberfest food pairings. But it looks like they have cider. I’ll get you one of those.”

Before David can refuse, Patrick is wrapping a hand around his own to pull him towards the drinks. The logical side of David’s brain knows it is just a formality to get him to join in. But also Patrick’s hand is gripping his own a little too tightly for him to believe it’s completely casual.

Patrick drops his hand once they are face to face with Roland handing out beers.

“Oh hey guys. So what do you think?”

Patrick looks around and nods. “It’s…big. I think you will get a lot of volunteers out of it.”

“Well I sure hope so. We basically used all the money from last year’s asbestos fest to make this one even bigger.”

Patrick coughs to cover his own noises of surprise or laughter. “Of course. Well uh can I get one cider and one dark lager?”

As Roland gathers their drinks, David takes the opportunity to look around the small field which he vaguely remembers drinking his last beer in during the party with Stevie when he first moved here. The area is set up with a temporary stage where Jocelyn occasionally makes an appearance to discuss the cause and the need for involvement. The small petting zoo sits in the corner with a sign that reads “Chuckles doesn’t find Asbestos funny”. The beer ‘stand’ sits next to the area with a barbecue pit that Roland is attempting to manage simultaneously. Over on the far side is the old rickety Ferris wheel with rusted nails contrasting with the bright blue paint.

As Roland hands them their drinks, he notices David’s attention. “Pretty neat, huh? I just called in a favor from a cousin. It was surprisingly cheap.”

“Sure”, David says as he gladly accepts his drink.

He turns towards the noise of Stevie’s voice. She is standing next to Twyla, chugging down the beer she has only just received.

“You want some food?”, Patrick asks.

_He’s so sweet._ “Do you really have to ask?”

“Nah but some people would consider it polite for such a proper and important meeting.”

“Mmm right right. Well what’s a business meeting without some second-rate food for the staff?”

“Now you are getting how to run a business,” Patrick says before he tosses back a swig of his beer. David doesn’t know why he finds the image so alluring.

“Alright come on lets go.” Patrick reaches out for him and pulls him towards their next destination. The distance between the alcohol and the food barely justifies the guidance but David isn’t going to complain. If he didn’t know any better, it almost seemed like Patrick was just looking for a reason to hold his hand. Their fingers remain closed in a loose grip, David not allowing himself to slip his fingers in-between Patrick’s. For some reason that felt too far.

Once stood in front of the grilling pit, Patrick releases his grasp to pick up one of the plates already laid out with a burger on it. He hands it over to David and then grabs one for himself. David instantly makes his way over to the condiments, only judging Patrick slightly for his lack of toppings. They gather a few sides and look around to find Stevie.

David spots Twyla and Stevie sitting on the grass, drinking what looks to be a second beer and biting into a burger. The two make their way over to the pair.

“Are we really sitting on the ground?”

“I don’t think the dirt will kill you David,” Patrick taunts as he sits down on the green grass.

“It just might and you will feel very bad about it when it does.” David eyes the ground and then holds his plate and cider in front of Patrick’s face, which Patrick makes no objections holding it for David.

After lying a few napkins on the ground, David tentatively sits on the covered earth. He takes his plate from Patrick and instantly digs into the burger.

Stevie and Twyla are talking about something that Patrick seems to occasionally pipe in on. David is much more focused on the food. Which is why he is surprised when Patrick leans in to David’s side, distancing himself from the other conversation at hand.

“I’m guessing you didn’t save any of those napkins to actually use.”

“Unfortunately they all had to be sacrificed so we could sit like barbarians.”

Patrick laughs and drops his head. “Well you’ve got some ketchup on your face.”

He instantly reaches up to wipe away what he can, slightly embarrassed by Patrick’s observation.

“You missed it. It’s on your cheek… no further up. Here I’ve got it,” Patrick leans in close and brings his hand up to David’s cheek. His fingers rest lightly under David’s chin, barely making contact with the skin. His thumb sweeps with some pressure across his cheek, taking away the ketchup and David’s breath.

Before he can catch up with the moment, it is over and Patrick is pushing back to sit again. David’s head is still reeling but he manages to choke out a ‘Thank you’.

“Do you think they have those eating competitions here. Because if so, you should totally enter,” Patrick jokes.

“What if I told you I have won such a competition before?”

“I would totally believe you and require far more details.”

Stevie and Twyla are now tuned into the conversation and are egging David on as well.

“Eating competition? That is so awesome David. I won a baking competition once but the title was actually revoked once they found out it was made with my uncle’s home-grown weed,” Twyla says cheerfully.

“What kinda food was it? Oh don’t tell me! Was it hot dogs? Cake? Was it one of those weird condiment competitions with like mayonnaise or something grosser?”, Stevie is asking at the same time.

“Actually, if you all must know, it was a cheese related festivity… in Japan.”

“Hmm and how many competitors were you up against there?”, Patrick questions knowingly.

“I mean… it’s hard to say. Maybe like 20 or 12 or 2 or something like that.”

The three start to mess with David, begging for more details. David is giving in and laughing along, allowing himself to lean into the moment and enjoy himself a little. Until he hears a familiar and unforgettable voice.

“Hey Pony.”

\---

The energy radiating from tonight could make Patrick jump for joy if he wasn’t trying so hard to hold it together. After the excruciating week, this felt like a breath of fresh air. David was slowly beginning to act like himself again and life seemed to be returning to normal. And so what if Patrick is taking this opportunity to touch David at every chance he can?

With the vigor of the night and the reminder of their previous 20 Questions adventure, Patrick pokes fun at David in a way that feels natural. “Please tell me you received a trophy shaped like a piece of cheese. You deserve that much for winning such a competitive event.”

“Is the title not enough for you people? But… yes there was a trophy.”

“Is it one of the possessions the government allowed you to keep?”, Stevie interjects.

To all of their dismays, David does not have the cheese trophy with him. Stevie is asking for digital evidence when a man approaches the group.

“Hey Pony.”

Patrick turns his full attention towards the man standing next to him, instantly intrigued by the individual. Based on the flustered look that crosses Stevie’s face, Patrick assumes this is someone Stevie is a little more than friends with. Patrick anticipates David will love this considering all of the teasing opportunities. But when he catches a glimpse of David, he seems equally flustered and maybe even a little upset.

Stevie shuffles to her feet, flashing a guilty look at David before returning her gaze to the mystery man. “What are you doing?”, she speaks harshly under her breath.

“I thought I would check out the party,” mystery man says in a nonchalant suave voice.

He turns his direction to the entire group, his gaze landing on David. Patrick can’t explain why he instantly feels a pit in his stomach.

“David. Wow, it’s been a while”, he says with a smile. He leans towards David who is making no effort to reciprocate whatever is happening. Instead, David is looking at Stevie and imitates, “Pony.”

Patrick watches in total confusion and jealousy as this man lays his hand on David’s shoulder and kisses him straight on the lips. Patrick can feel the blood in his ears and a sudden urge to punch this guy in his stupid face.

David just clears his throat with a small “hey.”

“Wow, you look good.”

_Yeah of course he does now can you please fuck off,_ Patrick tries to communicate through his intense stare.

The only thing keeping Patrick from losing it is the way David has now leaned into his side. His torso and arm are now snug against his and he seems to be using Patrick as a shield. Patrick will gladly be his armor.

“Who’s this guy?”, mystery douchebag man says. He points his finger in Patrick’s direction.

Before Patrick can respond, David is attempting to answer for him. “This is my…”, he looks at Patrick and stumbles over his words. “That’s…”

Despite his desire to hear how David will finish that sentence, he decides to save him. “Patrick.”

“That’s Patrick.” David reaches his hand up to pat Patrick on the shoulder. Patrick has the desire to reach for David’s hand just to solidify his significance in David’s life.

“And you are?”, Patrick reaches his hand out in his last ditch attempt to remain civil.

“Hoping to hang out with Stevie,” the mystery narcissist man says as he reaches for Patrick’s outstretched hand.

Patrick drops his hand at the same time as he drops his nice guy demeanor. “So I’m not getting a name then.”

David is oblivious to Patrick’s inner turmoil as he begins to grill Stevie. “Um so you and ‘Pony’ are just going to…go visit Chuckles or something? Gallop around with the other Pony?”

David sounds bitter and Patrick feels sick thinking that David is having the exact feelings of jealousy he himself is experiencing now.

The mystery jerk has his arm wrapped around Stevie and is rubbing her back. Stevie looks as uncomfortable as Patrick feels.

“I take it you two are still…”, David waves his hands around in front of him.

“Seeing each other, yes. As it turns out we are,” Stevie states with apprehension.

“After we all broke up, Stevie came over to end things officially and it just didn’t stick, so…”.

_What did he just say?_, Patrick fumes._ Is it actually possible for a human to see red? _Patrick is keeping his arms tightly folded across his chest, protecting it from the beating his heart is taking. 

“Yeah yeah…No it didn’t stick, did it?”

As much as he wants to show David respect for his personal life, Patrick can’t help but speak up. “When you say, ‘we all broke up’…”

David is still focused on Stevie though. “So all those times you were ‘busy’ the last few months or going to the ‘spa’, you were just harboring a little secret.”

Stevie looks guilty, a face Patrick can’t say he often sees her wear.

“So… we are going to go,” Stevie says as she begins to pull mystery man away from the circle. “Just going to go talk or go on the Ferris wheel or something…”

“Unless you all want to come.”

At the same time as David is forcefully saying “Nope”, Twyla who has been silently watching the entire time just shakes her head. “Actually I am supposed to meet up with my cousin in some club in Elmdale soon so…I should get going.” Twyla hops up and grabs her things, ready to rightfully distance herself from this awkward situation.

Mystery man is backing away with Stevie and Patrick has a strong desire to understand and make something out of this whole thing. “Good to meet you…man.”

The mystery asshole man barely bats an eye at Patrick before walking away.

Patrick wishes he could gather his thoughts for a minute before looking at David. But with only the two of them left, he knows he can’t hide his confusion and anger.

“Soooo…”, David says awkwardly. He pulls at the grass around them, clearly feeling discomfited with the situation.

“So…”, Patrick continues. “Who was that?”

“That”, David points in the general direction of the couple’s departure. “Was a betrayal of my trust.”

“I meant the asshole.” Patrick presses his mouth into a straight line to prevent any other revealing words from slipping out.

Thankfully, David laughs through his nose, breathing out quickly. “Yeah he is really is. That’s Jake.”

“Jake”, Patrick repeats the name, bitter in his mouth. He sounds pissed off even to his own ears.

“This probably isn’t helping with your perception of my bad taste. Add that to the list of failed relationships with horrible people,” David jokes but Patrick hears a twinge of sincerity behind it. Patrick can’t have that.

“Hey. He’s the jerk, not you. Although I don’t really know the situation so I am just blindly accepting that he’s definitely at fault here. But I suppose that’s what good business partners do, right?” Patrick bumps his shoulder with David, trying to lighten the mood and hopefully dissipate any anxiety he may be feeling.

“Exactly. And good friends too,” David bumps his shoulder back.

Senses previously flooded by rage are now replaced by the loud, thudding in Patrick’s ears. He wants to just hug David and make him forget all those people who screwed him over.

“Alright I’ll tell you everything. But you have to promise you’ll be on my side”, David says as he stands up.

Patrick looks up at him, smiling. He makes a grabbing hand towards David, silently asking for him to help him up. David rolls his eyes and murmurs something about Patrick being lazy as he reaches for his hand to pull him up.

Patrick grabs hold of his hand, hoisting himself up. He doesn’t let go. “Promise.”

\---

“I’ve just gotta go through that one more time. So, you dated Jake and then Stevie dated Jake. And at one point, you all-”

“No! See, that’s where you’re wrong,” David points at Patrick. They are currently standing in front of the ‘petting zoo’, new glasses of beer in hand. The two had walked around the small perimeter multiple times discussing the Jake situation while listening to the lovely background sounds of Moira performing and singing. David now remained still in front of the small enclosure with a single goat behind its walls.

David continues on, for some reason so badly wanting Patrick to understand the situation. And for him to not be upset. Maybe it was in David’s head, but Patrick had seemed annoyed by the news that he had dated Jake. _Perhaps he is just judging you for you poor decision making skills_, David scolds himself.

“We almost ‘all’ but I said no. Because Stevie and I agreed that would be a bad idea. But it appears that I’m the only one that held up my end of that agreement.”

Patrick takes a swig of his beer, searching David with questioning eyes. “And you’re upset about this because you still-”

“No! I’m not upset. I don’t want any of that”, David says as he waves his arms in the general direction of where Stevie and Jake had disappeared to. “It’s a principle thing.”

Skeptically, Patrick nods along. David sighs, “Okay so now you think I’m crazy.”

“I’ve always thought you were crazy. But I’m definitely still on your side. Isn’t the point of open relationships to be open? He kinda screwed you and Stevie over by never mentioning he was seeing the other until you addressed him. Believe me David, the guy is a jerk. You deserve much better than that.”

David’s insides turn and he feels squirmy. Patrick had only held his hand a second after being pulled up from the ground but now David is dying for the feeling again. He allows himself to lean slightly into Patrick’s side where their arms are already touching. On this night with a cold chilling breeze, David can justify it as a necessity for warmth.

Still not convinced that David agrees with his sentiments, Patrick changes the subject to something David can definitely get on board with. “Ivan made muffins. I’ll get you one. You’ll forget all about Jake and Stevie.”

“Mmm you know the way to my heart,” David swoons, noting the sentiment to be a bit too true. “Friends are temporary but chocolate is forever.”

“And business partners?”

David knows its a joke but it hits a little too close to home. He can’t help but feel guilty for shutting Patrick out, even though he knew it was for his own good. Perhaps it was okay to keep letting him back in, just a little bit.

“Well considering all the grants you were able to pull, business partners are invaluable.”

“Keep going.”

“Priceless?”

“Yup.”

“Imperative.”

“Good one.”

“Overbearing.”

“Wait…”

“Dictatorial, bossy, overly organized?”

“Tell me how you really feel.”

Grinning, David starts walking towards the food, leaving Patrick behind. Patrick leaps forward to keep up with him. David hides his face to keep him from seeing how happy he is.

Once they are standing in front of Ivan, Patrick requests two chocolate chip muffins. Before David can reach into his pockets, Patrick is handing Ivan the money and taking the muffins in return.

“Can I…?”

“Nope. I’ve got it.”

Unwarranted, David has flashbacks to his birthday night with Patrick. It had felt so similar. The same atmosphere that made David want to wrap himself up in Patrick and all that he is and give into something he wasn’t sure he could navigate. But god, had he been willing to try.

The two begin picking at the muffins, standing close in the wide open field. With the sun setting on the pre-asbestos fest, it seemed like the small town was already starting to pack up for the night. David watched on in a comfortable silence next to Patrick.

After a long quietness, Patrick finally spoke up. “You know there is one thing we didn’t do here tonight.”

“I am not petting Chuckles, Patrick,” David says matter-of-factly.

“I already knew that wasn’t happening. But I was thinking…”, Patrick says as he turns his gaze towards the tiny, makeshift Ferris wheel.

Before Patrick can say more, David is shaking his head in defiance. “Nope. No.”

“Aww but why not? It will be fun.”

“Did you see that thing? It’s actually a death trap. It has to be at least 50 years old. Plus it came from someone in Roland’s family. What more reasons for trust issues do we need?”

Patrick gives him puppy dog eyes and David almost kisses him on the spot. “Pleaseee. I promise I will take an Instagram-worthy picture from the top of the wheel?”

David continues to shake his head. “In this lighting?”

“I’ll give you the rest of my muffin.”

“Keep going.”

“I will ride you home tonight.”

“A given really.”

“I promise to hold your hand the whole time.”

David side-eyes him, trying not to give away how fucking badly he wants that. He keeps up the charade. “And?”

“You can sleep in an hour tomorrow while I open the store.”

David pretends that this is the deal breaker that wins him over and definitely not the thought of Patrick holding his hand for more than a few seconds.

“Fine fine. But it seems like a bad decision to have us both go on at once and leave the business to go under once we both inevitably die.”

Patrick is already walking away, a small spring to his step. David looks on, taking a deep breath in to steady his nerves. When he finally gathers his senses, David walks over to join Patrick in front of the wheel.

“How tall is this thing?”

Ronnie, unamused, is running the small machine of doom. “About 20 meters. You might survive if you jump from the top when it unavoidably stops working.”

David is not amused and begins to breath heavy again. Patrick grabs his hand and pulls him forward. “It will be fine, David.”

“Fine is a subpar adjective.”

“It will be wonderful.”

Still unenthused, David steps into the small compartment alongside Patrick. He sits across from him, face to face. Patrick continues to hold his hand in place, patting the top of their linked hands with his free one.

David jumps slightly as Ronnie closes the swinging door and yells a final “good luck.”

David doesn’t even realize he is actually anxious until he feels a small ‘ow’ escape Patrick’s lips. He looks up to see Patrick staring at his hand. “You have a deadly grip.”

“You should have seen Alexis’ hand when I got my ear pierced.”

“You got your ear pierced?”

“Well actually it never happened. The skin on Alexis’ hand was the only thing pierced on that trip.”

The ride starts to move upwards and Patrick takes this opportunity to re-position. His legs straddle between David’s, their knees pressed against one another. Patrick takes David’s left hand and squeezes it between his right, holding their clasped hands on their touching knees.

David’s heart is now racing for an entirely different reason. He opens his digits slightly, inviting Patrick to intertwine their fingers. Patrick doesn’t hesitate as he slips his fingers between David’s and rubs his thumb along David’s. David feels safe- something he didn’t often feel…especially on top of an old, rickety fair ride.

“This okay?” Patrick asks, catching David off-guard. He realizes he must have been staring intensely at the held hands.

“Well you did promise it so you can’t take it back now.”

Patrick smiles and looks out over the small festival. David is enraptured in a different view, not wanting for one second to peel his eyes away from the man in front of him. His instincts are causing his fingers to twitch with a desire to pull away from the softness and the happiness. David’s brain conjures up the same simple question he had once asked Stevie- why can’t business partners hold hands? _Perhaps we are some sort of new age business relationship,_ David tries to trick his mind once again.

Already reaching the top of the wheel, Patrick turns his attention back to David. David quickly shifts his gaze, knowing he has been caught staring. But Patrick gives him an out, like he always does. “Does it look like the lighting is better on this side?”

The Instagram picture, David remembers. “The lighting is subpar at best. No picture here will make it to my Insta unless we can make it look like I’m at Coachella.”

“This party is almost as wild as Coachella,” he jokes with a nod in the direction of the quiet, slowly dissipating crowd.

“I am wearing far too much clothes for this to be any sort of rave event.”

Patrick eyes him up and down. David suddenly feels very warm under all his layers of clothing, wishing Patrick would offer to take them off for him.

“I think you look… unique, as always.”

“Unique?”

“Uh good?”

“Hardly a compliment. Although I suppose it’s better than ‘funky’ as Stevie calls it.”

Laughing, Patrick squeezes David’s hand tighter without thinking twice. “Well I like it. You look handsome… if I were to comment on your appearance… which I clearly am.” Patrick struggles with his words and then breaths out all of his air and seems to relax into his statement. “You always look handsome.”

Flustered, David looks down into his lap only to be met with the view of their hands clasped tightly together. His stomach is swooping and the butterflies he had once let free were daring to escape from their cage once again.

“I am nothing if not gorgeous.”

Patrick laughs in relief. “Okay come on. Let’s get a picture. We will take it together.”

David is hesitant, not wanting to tear his grasp away from Patrick’s. Thankfully, Patrick only disconnects his right hand to pull out his phone. Still holding David’s left hand in his own, he inches closer and leans in with his right hand raised in the air. “David, my arms aren’t that long. Help me out here.”

“Right right,” David snaps out of his daze and leans his head in towards Patrick. Patrick positions himself even closer, his cheek a mere inches from David. David is sure Patrick can feel his breaths against his face.

Patrick snaps a few selfies, their clasped hands just out of the picture frame. David wonders if he wants to hide the intimate gesture or if it is purely coincidental. All too soon, Patrick is pulling away and sitting back in the bench. He wears a soft smile as he sifts through the pictures.

“I like it, bad lighting and all,” Patrick says as he flips the phone towards David.

Patrick is correct- the lighting is bad. But David notices how happy he looks. How happy they both look. And the way their heads lean in naturally towards one another. And maybe he feels a little happy to know they have a small secret hidden beneath the edges of the picture. David wonders if this is what ‘cozy’ looks like. He loves it.

“We look like the hangover aftermath of Coachella.”

“I don’t think we even made it to the event,” Patrick implores as he sends David the picture and puts his phone back in his pocket. Patrick doesn’t hesitate for a second to reach back over and place his right hand in David’s waiting one. “Still scared?”

Scared of these feelings. Frightened of this relationship with Patrick. Terrified for his happiness. The Ferris wheel seems like a small feat at this point. “A little”, David shrugs. He looks out, the world spinning past him. He knows they can’t be here much longer so he sinks into the silence and the confusion and fear and squeezes Patrick’s hands tighter. Patrick squeezes back.

\---

It seems far too fast when the ride comes to a stop. Patrick wants to stay in the little bubble they’ve created where holding hands and talking softly is the norm. Ronnie opens the door and snorts something about them making it out alive. Patrick slips out of the pod, still holding onto David’s hand. He helps David off the ride, thanking Ronnie and wishing her a good night.

Patrick is dazed, feeling high from these new heights, figuratively and literally. He barely realizes he is still holding firmly to David’s hand until he speaks up. “I would rank my survival in this situation up there with Alexis’ adventures.”

“You are so brave.” Patrick contemplates his next move, the two still walking forward hand in hand. He realizes he is probably making David uncomfortable at this point but his fingers feel glued shut. He inwardly sighs and pries his hand out of David’s hold. The loss is instantaneous. “Sorry. Guess you don’t need that anymore now that you survived.”

Patrick catches a glimpse at David walking next to him. If Patrick was in the right state of mind, he might think that David looks sad about the loss of contact. But Patrick was not about to have those false hopes bubbling up again. Still… he wondered if David felt that safeness between them, friends or otherwise.

David clears his throat, not responding to Patrick’s statement. “So are you still going to hold up the end of the deal where you drive me home?”

“Mmm nah I was thinking it would be best if you just walk.”

David glares at him. “I’m wearing all black. Surely a car would hit me or I would be swallowed up into the night.”

“You make some good points.” Patrick finds himself walking closer to David, their hands still brushing at their sides. “I guess if I have to. Come on.”

They make their way over to Patrick’s car, one of the few still left at the event. Although the night was relatively young, the town seemed to have quieted down just for them.

They both hop in, silent and in their own thoughts. Patrick is unsure of what to make of it all. He feels so happy…and so confused. He turns the radio on to give himself some sort of distraction. To his joy and dismay, David knows the exact stations to play 90s pop.

Celine Dion blasting in the background, Patrick can't help but feel like he is repeating the night of David's birthday. It all hits a little too close to home and unlike last time, Patrick won’t have the option to lean in towards David. He did have one thing he could do though to rewrite the destiny from that night.

Without thinking twice, Patrick reaches over and grabs a hold of David’s hand dancing through the air. The world stops and Patrick can hear David’s breath catch in his throat, caught in the verse he is currently belting._Oh god what am I doing? Why did I do that?,_ Patrick mentally chastises himself.

Before he can spiral, he feels David relax into the grip and squeeze his fingers lightly. David carries on with his karaoke like nothing is happening. He brings Patrick’s hand along for the ride, swaying with the beat of the music. Patrick laughs and pretends to know the words.

When they arrive at the motel only a few short minutes later, Patrick is joking about Jake and Stevie, happy to see David laugh at the situation. David seems happy to have a way to let go of the predicament and move on. 

The song shifts to a slower melody that Patrick vaguely recognizes as a Whitney Houston piece. Patrick is still holding David’s hand, bringing it a little closer to his side. They sit for a moment before Patrick speaks up.

“I thought of my last question.”

Like he does, David understands what he is talking about. “Alright. Hopefully it’s a more worthy 20th this time.”

Patrick has a million things he wants to ask. What are we? Do you feel that way I feel? Don’t you want the way I feel? 

Patrick chokes down all the questions threatening to escape. “Did you have fun tonight?”

David scoffs, “Would we really call that a worthy question?”

“It could have very telling answers,” Patrick shrugged.

David contemplated this before answering. “Well… I was graced by the presence of two of my exes tonight. Roland insulted my ability to drink beer on multiple occasions. I watched my mother do a mediocre performance of Two Heads. But it was an interesting night.” David smiles shyly, looking down at their interlocked fingers.

“Interesting is not fun?”

“Would you prefer ‘amusing’?”

“Definitely not. Maybe you should frame it as… survived an encounter with your horrible ex. Conquered your fear of questionable machinery. Spent time with your incredible, suave, smart business partner.”

“Would we really say suave?”

“We would.”

David is smiling at him and it takes every ounce of his energy to not lean in and kiss those lips. But Patrick knows better. And he can accept hand-holding for now. Forever, if David will let him.

David seems to realize the shift in energy as well. He slowly pulls his hand out of Patrick’s grasp and unbuckles his seat belt. Patrick’s hand tingles with the loss. “I feel like I have to thank you so many times for…everything. But thank you. For, uh, saving me from me tonight. That whole Stevie/Jake thing could’ve gotten really dark.”

“Anytime. I’m always available to ridicule your exes.”

Beaming, David opens the car and steps out. He turns around and gives a small wave. “Night Patrick.”

“Goodnight David.”

Patrick’s hand tingles on the drive home, as he gets ready to sleep, and in his bed as he lay alone at night. He rests his eyes with one thought in mind: he is going to hold those hands every day if he can.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys find every excuse to be closer and they finally have some open communication.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’m trying to organize this slow, slow burn and if my plans go accordingly, the fic will be 12 chapters. Knowing how I get carried away though, it could be much more than that haha Either way, I hope you guys enjoy the agonizing tension and think it’s worth it. Let me know what you think of this chapter and anything you’re hoping to see in the future of this fic. Thank you as always for the support!

True to his word and never passing up an opportunity to sleep in, David arrives to work the next day an hour after opening. David is thankful for the extra sleep considering his running thoughts kept him awake the night before. He swears this headache is induced by the internal whiplash his own emotions are giving him.

It’s not that David regrets the night before- actually, he loved every second of it. But it just makes him feel all the more confused about Patrick’s perspective on their relationship._You know he could just be a really nice person who is totally comfortable with his sexuality and masculinity that he feels like he can hold a friends hand in need, right? Right?_,__ David scorns himself.

David tries not to think too hard about it, promising himself that today he will focus on the business and enjoy the thing that makes him feel happy. However, David’s plans for clarity are easily shattered when he sees Patrick through the window of the store. He is all alone but his mouth is moving and his head is slightly rocking back and forth as he writes on a paper in front of him. _Well that’s fucking adorable,_ David admires. David allows himself just one more minute to watch Patrick sing along to some song that David can not pick up with lip reading.

When he enters the door, he expects Patrick to stop his singing and dancing and show some embarrassment. Instead, Patrick looks up at David and flashes his wide grin as he continues singing along to the song that David now recognizes as Drops of Jupiter.

David rolls his eyes at Patrick’s music selections and his stupid smiling face, still appreciating the 2000's aesthetic they can’t seem to shake. “Is it a rule or something that you can only listen to music that has a guitar in it?”

Making his way around the desk, Patrick sways back and forth still singing the song, ignoring David’s question all together. Patrick points dramatically at David and belts the words louder than before. David anxiously looks around, paranoid that someone might see this mortifying situation play out.

“Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet!” Patrick is now in front of him, clearly enjoying David’s awkwardness. He reaches out and grabs David’s clasped hands, pulling them apart. Patrick is still singing as he makes a circle with his finger, indicating he wants David to twist.

David has flashbacks to the night at the bar. It feels like a lifetime ago. And he is pretty sure he buried that night deep down within him, along with the help of the copious amount of alcohol they drank that night. But standing here now, David can’t imagine denying Patrick a dance.

Red-faced, David twists underneath Patrick’s extended arm. When he is facing Patrick again, their hands still clasped, Patrick continues to step back and forth in a very monotonous dance step. _Did he learn nothing from my lessons?_, David questions. 

Easing in to his own movements and the moment, David allows himself to hum along and tap his foot to the beat. He wonders why it is so easy to forget his own apprehensions whenever Patrick is involved. David can’t remember the last time he danced in public without a drop of alcohol in his system.

The song comes to an end, only for some acoustic song that David vaguely recognizes as a Coldplay song to start playing. Patrick is still holding onto David’s hand, smirking. “I thought we could use a little music in the store.”

“I don’t remember agreeing to that”, David states, still attempting to bring his heart rate down.

Patrick shrugs. “I think it makes it more home-y. People will want to come in here.”

“We are a store, not a club. I’m using my business owner veto.”

Despite the conversation, the two are still smiling at each other. “You know you can’t use your ‘business owner veto’ against every decision I make without you, right?”

“I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what the veto is for.”

Patrick laughs and drops David’s hand. He takes a few steps over to the desk to pick up his phone. “Does the music stand a chance if I tell you I added Jack Johnson songs to the playlist?”

David makes his way towards the back room. “Nope.”

Patrick turns off the music and talks loud enough so David can hear him in the back. “And to answer your question, yes. Guitars are essential to any great song.”

Reappearing from the back, David shakes his head. “I beg to differ.”

“Maybe that’s just the guitarist in me,” Patrick says with a shrug.

It catches David off guard, always surprising him when he realizes he doesn’t know everything about Patrick. “The what?”

“Guitars. You know, like… the instrument. With the strings. That makes music and…”

“Yeah I got that part. You play guitar?”

“Acoustic.”

“Ah.” David tries not to look perturbed by this information.

“So I take it you’re not a fan of guitar?”

“Me? What? No. I am totally on-board with the instruments as long as there are no public demonstrations of the guitar-ing.”

“Oh are you sure? Cause I have my guitar in back that I can take out right now and just play a few things?” Patrick teases. He laughs at the mortified look on David’s face. “But considering the dancing, I think I’ve embarrassed you enough for one day. By the way, you are my dance instructor, so how did I do?”

“Well…”, David attempts to cover his amusement. “The twirl was…smoother”.

“Any other pointers you can give me?” Patrick purposefully steps forward into David’s space.

David’s breath hitches and he has the urge to reach out again. One hand hold for one minute was clearly not enough to feed this desire within him. David reasons with himself, noting that Patrick could clearly use the feedback. He couldn’t have his partner walking around NOT knowing how to dance; that would just be bad business etiquette.

He reaches around Patrick, bringing himself even closer. He swears he hears Patrick hold his breath as David leans in close. David presses play on the music behind them and of course, a fast guitar opening starts playing. 

“Ah a beginner guitarist classic,” Patrick notes. He is talking significantly quieter now, unsure of how to respond to David’s sudden change in energy. When David still looks confused, Patrick comments, “Wonderwall.”

“Ah right”, David nods. “Okay so I know we were drunk at the time so I will give you a pass for forgetting my very important 8 step count.”

“I can’t even remember how I got home so you will have to excuse me.”

“I’ll allow it this time. Okay…”. David reaches out to grab Patrick’s forearm to bring him in just a little bit closer. David realizes how desperate he must be in order to find such a strange excuse to touch Patrick, especially during the middle of the work day in their place of business with large windows that anyone can see them through.

He reaches for Patrick’s hand and begins instructing him to step forward and backward, toning down his own movements so he feels a little less stupid for doing this in the first place. Patrick doesn’t seem to mind in the slightest. He wraps his hands firmly in David’s, fumbling through his footwork with little to no success.

“How do I look?”

David’s mind conjures up many adjectives that would definitely not be appropriate to verbalize. “It’s…better.”

“You are a horrible liar”, Patrick laughs as he steps even closer to David. David can’t help but think about the fact that they are practically pressed against one another, a mere torturous inch between their bodies. Patrick attempts another spin and David allows his mind to wander. _Patrick pulling him into his chest, pressing his skin against David’s...whisking him away into the backroom so he can explore those strong arms in a little bit more detail… oh god._ David abruptly steps away, not wanting Patrick to read his thoughts or feel the reactions his body is having.

He coughs and quickly turns off the music. “There. Now you don’t have to look like such a dad when you’re dancing to cheesy guitar songs outside of this place of business.”

“Mmm very helpful. I think you’ll have to show me a few more times though for it to really sink in”, Patrick says flirtatiously. A customer enters the store, timing impeccable as always. Patrick is unphased as he greets them .

David is still reeling, not knowing what to make of this magnetic pull he has towards Patrick. He watches him make conversation with the customer, admiring from a distance. David allows himself to take a step back mentally and analyze with his heart for just a few seconds.

David and Patrick had held hands and danced and touched so many times now and the world still hadn’t ended. David was keeping his feelings at bay, he argues. And being close to Patrick makes him happy. Maybe he can allow himself this one luxury. Maybe touching Patrick doesn’t have to be such a big deal after all. _Maybe I can make this work. _

\---

It had been over two weeks since the pre-asbestos fest event and Patrick couldn’t quite figure out what transformation had occurred that night. Had it been the Ferris wheel or the run in with David’s ex or even the delicious food? Whatever it was, something had caused a change. Patrick partly blames it on the fact that he was now bound and determined to touch David whenever physically possible. It didn’t help that David seemed to also have a very similar desire.

At first, Patrick was able to rationalize it all. Clearly, David just really cared about Patrick’s ability to dance in order to avoid embarrassment for himself and the store’s sake. But then it slowly became more and more purposeful and a little harder for Patrick to logically explain to himself. Did David really have to check his nails so thoroughly to ensure his cuticles were ‘acceptable for the public’s eyes’? And did Patrick _really _need to teach David how to thumb wrestle…and then play rock, paper, scissors…and then chopsticks? Obviously.

No matter the day, they always found a way to touch. If Patrick wasn’t the logical person that he was, he would truly believe that their hands had some kind of magnetic pull towards one another.

Today, the two currently found themselves hand in hand once again as David had convinced Patrick that they needed to test the new nail polish a client had brought in for an extended beauty line.

“They have a royal blue, midnight black, rose pink, and ruby red. Somewhat limited options but I guess that’s what to expect from nail polish made completely from honey…”, David muses as he analyzes Patrick’s hands within his own. “Now I would say we should go with Rose Pink just to be on-brand with the store but your favorite color is blue and I think it will go best with you skin tone. Thoughts?”

“Whatever you say, David.” Patrick had never painted his nails before, nor ever had a desire to. But with the offer for David to touch his hands for a few minutes, he was suddenly very eager to try out the new beauty product.

The store is empty, the work day coming to a close. The two are sat in chairs pulled from the back, hands sitting on top of the middle counter in the store.

David shakes the bottle of nail-polish and places it on the counter. He grabs Patrick’s left hand with his, inspecting his fingers. “Have you been using the cuticle oil I prescribed to you?”

“Pretty sure you can’t prescribe anything. And yes, I would hate to ‘insult’ anyone with my ‘dry disgusting fingers’.”

David seems pleased with the response. “Good”, he simply says as he starts lightly brushing the paint onto Patrick’s nails.

They remain silent as David works through each finger, enjoying the comfort and the soft touches between one another. David holds Patrick’s hand up at the wrist, occasionally brushing the skin there with his finger.

As he starts to work on the right hand, Patrick finally speaks up. “Have any plans tonight?”

David watches his own actions closely, not looking up once to make eye contact with Patrick. “Stevie might take me out to dinner tonight. She is still trying to make up for her betrayal with Jake.”

“Cafe?”

“I demanded something of a bit higher class. We are going to that nice restaurant in Elmdale.”

“It only seems fair with all she has put you through,” Patrick says sarcastically.

“Exactly. I’m glad you understand.” David focuses as he paints the other nails before saying, “What about you?”

“Eh I don’t know. Maybe just spend some quality time with Ray.”

David pauses to look up. “What could that possibly even look like?”

“A lot of HGTV.”

David nods. “I figured so.” He admires his work on Patrick’s fingers. He brings them up to eye level, examining it like a piece of art. Then, he brings the tips close to his mouth and lightly blows onto his fingers, moving them back and forth as he does so.

Patrick swallows a cough and watches David attempt to dry his nails. His mouth is suddenly inexplicably dry and he can’t even find words to tease David about his actions. Patrick has a chill run down his spine; he blames it on the cool air.

David pulls Patrick’s hands back to look at them both. “Actually pretty good for one coat. I think we can just go ahead and do the top coat.” He reaches for a clear polish, one that’s purpose does not make sense to Patrick. David’s phone dings on the table and he glances over to read it.

“Wowww I can’t believe her. Actually, yes I can. This is typical. She better have a good reason.”

Patrick is still catching up with the words, calming his body down from the sensation of David literally blowing him. “Huh?”

“Stevie is canceling on me. And she is saying it’s a motel emergency. What does that even mean? She has to use a room to sleep with Jake or something?”

“Hey it’s okay. I’m sure she has a good reason.”

David rolls his eyes. “She owes me double for this. And now I have to go to Elmdale by myself because that reservation is going to cost me…”

With little to no attempt to distance himself from the situation, Patrick places himself right within in. “What if I join you?”

David looks at him skeptically as he unscrews the lid of the clear polish. “You want to join me for dinner at a high class restaurant in Elmdale?” He holds Patrick’s hand within his own again, the insecurities lining up perfectly with the facade of a hand hold.

“Yeah let’s do it. We will make a night of it. Maybe pop some champagne. Celebrate the store.”

“The store has been opens for months.”

“And we have yet to go under or destroy ourselves… or each other. It’s cause for a celebration.”

“I’m glad to know you have so much faith in our business.”

“Think of it as a common business tradition.”

David finishes up Patrick’s last nail. Patrick may or may not be holding out for David to lean forward and blow on his nails again. Unfortunately, David sits up straighter and looks like his brain is trying to compute something. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Let’s do it.” He tightens up the nail-polish and puts it to the side.

“But first, I think it’s only fair we test the product on you as well.”

“I agree but you have to do it for me.”

“It will be a disaster.”

“It’s only fair.”

“Better not pick black then.”

“You _know _I’m picking black.”

Smiling, Patrick reaches for the black paint. He gently places David’s hand within his own. Maybe he can hold his hand longer if he disguises the amount of time needed as his own incompetency. “Suit yourself.”

\---

Smudged black nails and neat black tie, David enters the restaurant side-by-side with Patrick. David wills himself to not over-think everything. Patrick had offered to save David from a lonely, awkward night. And so what if they celebrated the store given this opportunity?

“Wow this is nice.” Patrick was looking around in awe. “Do you think the nail polish is in poor taste?” He pulls at his sleeves, seemingly self-conscious.

“Patrick, don’t even get my started on gender conformity. The only thing in poor taste about these nails is the paint that made it’s way all over my hands because of you.”

“I tried!”

After stating David’s reservation, the two are ushered to their seats in a corner of the restaurant. The two-person table is adorned with a tablecloth and a lighted candle. David pretends he doesn’t realize how date-like this really is.

“Well the atmosphere is just atrocious. Not a booth or palm tree mural in sight.”

“Mmm and look at these menus. Are you telling me they don’t serve mozzarella sticks here?”

“How will we survive?”

David smiles, keeping his eyes trained on the man in front of him. His navy blue nails hold the menu in front of his face, covering up the dark blue suit and fitted white collared shirt underneath. He looks stunning, David notes. He peels his eyes away, turning his attention to the menu. 

When the waiter comes back, Patrick insists David speaks first. David orders a grilled chicken dish with a side of fries with a promise from Patrick that it was totally classy and he will definitely help eat it.

“I’ll have the steak. Medium Rare. And can we also get a bottle of Rombauer Cabernet Sauvignon please?”, Patrick asks as he hands the menu back to the waiter. He nods and leaves the two alone.

“Red, huh?”

Patrick smirks, the irony not lost on him. “I know how much you like it.”

_Is this flirting? Are we flirting right now? _David coughs. “I do. Wine actually seems far too fancy for us at this point considering all of our previous drink-escapades. Which is strange coming from me considering my past and all that.”

“Do you miss the days of fine dining and wining?”

“I mostly just miss the days of buying unlimited food and beauty products without having to pay for it myself. Good thing I can write this dinner off as a business expense.”

“We’ve been over this- that’s not what that is. And also I’ve got it handled tonight.”

David rolls his eyes. “I am going to drink half that bottle of wine and definitely sample everything on your plate. I think it’s only fair if I get it.”

“Split?”

“Deal.”

The two continue talking about nothing in particular. And it feels comfortable. And not forced. And something that David wants to cling onto and hold and tuck into his bed tonight.

The waiter eventually brings over the appetizer of fries. He seems slightly unimpressed as he places them between the two; David immediately brings them a little closer to his side of the table. He assures that he is going to bring the wine right out for them.

David doesn’t even realize how hungry he is until he is digging in to the fries. He forgets to talk for a minute, focusing on satiating his hunger. He is so caught up in his food that his hand falls on top of Patrick’s as he attempts to pick at whatever is left on the plate. _Of course. _They both pause, holding hands on a plate of fries in a restaurant far too upscale for fries or men with painted nails.

Patrick makes no attempt to move his hand. In fact, he openly grabs for David’s hand and places it on the table along with his own. He reaches back for a fry with the other hand, pretending like their hands aren’t on full display.

David is suddenly very thankful for their quite reserved spot in the back of the restaurant. This feels private and like something that should be hidden away.

Silently, Patrick analyzes their clasped hands. For once, he doesn’t make any excuse for why it is happening. And neither does David. They keep their hands in place and shift the attention back to their conversation.

Only a few minutes later, the waiter is back with the wine bottle. David figures Patrick will pull away at this point, afraid to have anyone see that he is actually holding hands with him. But he is surprised that Patrick only switches the hand holding David’s in order to grasp at the glass for a taste of the drink. “Delicious thank you.”

Patrick fiddles with David’s palm, drawing small patterns on his exposed and opened hand. “We should toast,” he says nonchalantly.

Nodding, David raises his glass towards Patrick.

“To red wine and Rose Apothecary.”

“Cheers.”

\---

The bottle is empty and Patrick knows his cheeks are flushed and he probably looks far too happy for a “casual business celebration.” He also knows that he is totally smitten with David, hanging onto every word he says.

The two are currently delving deep into a conversation about fashion, a topic Patrick knows nothing about and never had an interest in until David spoke of it. And it is possible that Patrick is rushing to finish his food so he can hold David’s hand again. They had mutually torn apart to dig into the food but now he is craving the touch once more.

“It was definitely a bold statement on her part.”

“Are there any fashion people who are largely monochrome?”

“Designers and yes, I’m glad you asked.”

Patrick laughs and reaches out to grab a hold of David once again. He is done looking for excuses. Let this be the new normal. David continues rambling on about a men’s fashion designer company that David once frequented in his NYC days.

“And the great thing is they are business partners and best friends.”

“Mmm like us?” He says it casually but instantly regrets it. The reason this whole thing works is because they don’t talk about it. They don’t label it. They hold hands and text and talk about anything and everything but friendship is too big a word to comprehend. And Patrick has a looming sense that David will withdraw as soon as they admit to the friendship and connection between them.

Patrick is surprised David doesn’t pull away. In fact, David studies their linked bodies and smiles. David stays quiet for a long three seconds and then finally speaks. “They have a personal assistant.”

“We have Alexis.”

“And an espresso machine.”

“We could have an espresso machine.”

“Hmm well then I suppose we are exactly the same.”

David seems content with the response and sinks into the touch a little more, leaning across the table. Maybe it’s the air around them or the wine or the candle dancing between them but Patrick has a sudden burning question clawing it’s way up his throat.

“Why were you upset with me a few weeks ago?”

The atmosphere shifts almost instantaneously. This appears to catch David off guard, his affect changing before him. Patrick sees David’s free hand fidget with the table cloth, his eyes downcast in thought. Seconds seems like minutes before David responds.

“What are you talking about?”

He can either drop this conversation now or delve deeper. Patrick needs to know. And if anything is to come of this relationship, friendship or otherwise, they need to be able to talk about it. “You didn’t want to talk to me. You said you wanted me to have ‘ a break’ from you.”

David looks around, unsure of where to settle his eyes. “I…”.

The hesitation makes Patrick want to back off. He slips his finger out of David’s tight grasp and gently inchworms it up and down the back of David’s hand in a hopefully soothing motion.

David catches his breath and continues speaking. “That wasn’t… it wasn’t about you. It was just… me dealing with my own stuff.”

“Stuff?” Patrick wants to understand.

“It’s not a big deal or anything. I just thought you hated me or something.”

“Hated you? How could I hate you?”

“I don’t know. Because I’m…me. And that’s what usually happens.”

Patrick just stares, unsure how to take these words. There is an edge of insincerity to it and Patrick does not quite understand why.

David continues. “I was just worried you would feel I was being too clingy. Especially after the road trip and the bar and dumping all of my emotional baggage on you.”

__What?__ “What?” Patrick can’t seem to formulate words to that.

“I know. I uh have a lot going on. And it seemed like maybe I was kind of over stepping over roles as business partners. I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.” Little does Patrick know that this is only a partial truth.

“David.” Patrick can’t exactly find the words to console him. Instead, he reaches his free hand across the table and places it on David’s upper arm. He squeezes his bicep lightly, thoughts of bringing his hand just a bit further up to swipe across David’s neck and lips. He allows the squeezing on the arm to override the motor desire of his hand. “I want to hear all of your ridiculous shit. I am your friend.”

Confusion crosses David’s features so Patrick continues on. “I want to be your friend above anything else. You are loyal and funny and a good listener. I always look forward to your texts about 2000's rom-coms, more so than your excuses for being late to work. And I like singing songs with you in the car during business trips- trips that we should definitely both be a part of. And you always find crazy things to talk about that I’ve never heard of while we… while _I _unbox new merch. In summary, you make a much better friend than a business partner.

David snorts but has a genuine smile on his face. He seems to still be holding back so Patrick makes a brave move. He lifts his hand to David’s chin to turn it up to look at him. David seems as shocked as he does by his motions.

“I promise I want to be your friend.”

Hand still tucked under David’s chin, he is forced to look into Patrick’s intense eyes. “You want everything that comes with that? Including… all of this? Is this..”, he lightly tenses his fingers between Patrick’s, “what you want?” It seemed like a test. A pivotal question. Did Patrick want this relationship? The one they had right now?

“I want all of it.” He finally drops his hand from David’s chin. “And I definitely want to have these conversations because lets be honest…that emotional distancing leads something to be desired with the communication skills.”

Feigning insult, David makes a pretend shocked face. “I think the proper term is emotional detachment.”

“Exactly.”

Rolling his eyes, David seems to be relaxing once again. Patrick decides to continue to tease. “Well that wasn’t so hard, was it?”

Scorning, David shoots him a look. “Watch it Brewer. You are still my employee.”

“Partner!”, Patrick corrects.

“Right. Partner.”

“Let’s just agree to be more open. No more guessing what the other is thinking. Okay?”

“That’s kind of my main way to communicate though so…”

“David.”

“Yes yes okay emotional shit and whatever. Should we order another bottle?”

“I have to drive.”

“Exactly. It’s for me. That took a lot out of me and I deserve a reward.”

“Fine but I’m getting a dessert for myself.”

David just stares back at him.

“You can have one bite.”

“Keeping with this whole open communication theme, I should just let you know that it will definitely be more than one bite.”

Patrick grins and continues to hold tight to David’s hand. “And I should let you know that I will definitely have another glass of red wine with you.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An extended spin on Season 3 Episode 3 Asbestos Fest and how it might have looked in this parallel universe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is mostly a dialogue-based chapter but I kinda wanted to build off of the previous chapter with the physical and emotional comfort they are starting to express with one another. Hope everyone enjoys and I look forward to your feedback! ❤

David feels relieved- an emotion he does not often associate with his own demeanor. After his romantic but totally casual dinner date with Patrick, David has some clarity. Had he been completely truthful about his reasons for alienating Patrick? No. But on some level, it was exactly how he felt. He felt he had been far too clingy, pushing a friendship on to Patrick. And the last thing he wanted was to make Patrick feel uncomfortable or jeopardize the business. However, he did leave out the small detail of his growing feelings for Patrick and his own emotional apprehension to put himself out there. But that was all in the details and at least Patrick wouldn’t have to feel uncertain about their relationship now.

Since that night, the two had been far less disconnected and significantly more touchy. The excuses for touching were slowly dwindling, replaced by Patrick casually squeezing David’s arm and David holding Patrick’s hand at work. Patrick had even held David’s chin in his palm yesterday, using his other hand to pick an eyelash on his cheek. So maybe they still needed excuses for some things…

Entering the store, David is immediately affronted with the view of his sister sitting atop the desk, talking to Patrick standing next to her. The sight instantly makes his insides squirm. It’s not that he doesn’t trust Alexis alone with Patrick. At this point, she basically assumed David’s feelings for him anyways. But he can’t imagine he would take it well if Patrick exhibited any sort of romantic feelings for his sister.

“What are you doing here?”, David shoots her way. He makes his way around the desk, instantly gravitating towards Patrick.

“Um Patrick has offered to help me with this school assignment. I told you that David,” she scowls at David. The pen and paper sitting in her lap assuages David’s anxiety about the situation.

He looks at Patrick who seems amused by the sibling banter. He sends a good morning nod to David and reaches out to squeeze his hand. The motion has become almost automatic to them now. But with Alexis sitting their watching, it suddenly makes him feel on display. He squeezes the hand back and instantly drops it. “Um you did not tell me that.”

“Yeah, how are your friends doing outside?” Patrick teases.

“They’re harmless, thanks,” David waves his statements away as he walks to the back room.

“Are they? Cool,” Patrick says sarcastically.

“Um we’re actually just in the middle of something so if you don’t mind…”, Alexis chimes in.

“I would mind but…”, David brushes his hand against Patrick’s arm as he makes his way to the other side of the desk. The light touches were always his favorite. Just a small reminder that the other is there.

She cuts him off, “Okay so, profit margins. Um how do you get more of those?”

“Well you’d start by telling the group of teens that hang out outside your store every afternoon to leave because they’re scaring off actual customers,” Patrick says pointedly towards David. 

Stopping his plant-watering, David turns to look at Patrick. “Okay they’re not scaring off customers. There was one that looked meth-y and I don’t know where he went.”

“See your brother doesn’t wanna tell them off. Which is, and you can write this down, a financial liability.”

“-Liability,” Alexis says a millisecond after Patrick, smirking at David.

“Incorrect,” David waves his hands in the direction of his two accusers. “The fact that we have youths minding their own business in front of our store builds, and you can write this down, street cred.”

“Okay are they actually buying anything?”, Alexis questions.

“Yes! They’re coming in, and they’re buying gum,” David asserts.

“And what else are they doing, David?” Patrick asks knowingly.

“They’re coming in, they’re looking around and they’re buying gum.”

Raised eyebrows, both Patrick and Alexis wait for him to continue.

“And…maybe complimenting my outfits.”

“There it is!”, exclaims Patrick. He looks far too pleased with himself and David is not having it.

“No. There what is? I’m sorry that you connect with a more mature clientele, whereas I vibe with a much younger crowd.”

“Oh,” Patrick scoffs as the bell above the door jingles.

“Nice sweater bro,” says the young man wearing a plaid flannel and faded backpack. David reasons that the compliments on his outfit come from a place of much needed fashion advice for the young, insipid teens.

“Um God I… this is so old and I can’t even remember where I got it. Do you guys remember…”, David fumbles over his words looking at Patrick and Alexis who both seem very entertained. Two more teens pass between them. “…Sorry. Where I got this sweater?” He clears his throat.

“What just happened to you?”, Patrick teases.

“Breathe it out”, Alexis instructs David.

As the four teens make their way around the store, Patrick walks to the other side of the desk to stand next to David. He reaches out to rub his hand up and down the grey sweater, playing with the fabric between his fingers. “This is a totally rad sweater bro,” he whispers to David. David knows he is messing with him but the combination of Patrick’s fingers on him while simultaneously giving him a compliment has him feeling a certain type of way.

“Thank you,” David sticks his nose in the air and pretends he isn’t totally smitten with Patrick’s hands on him.

Patrick continues to rub his hand up and down David’s arm, the store around them falling away. “And this…skirt,” he murmurs as he reaches to drag a finger down the side of David’s leg, “is sick.”

Patrick’s fingers are lightly tracing the side of the skirt and David could actually die right this second. “It’s not a skirt. It’s open-legged pants. And ‘sick’ is not the word I would use to describe this work of art.”

This doesn’t phase Patrick, his hand still dancing along the side of David’s hip. “Gnarly?”

“I prefer avant-garde”, David murmurs, his own fingers finding their way to Patrick’s on his hip. He presses his hand slightly against his, causing Patrick to dig his fingers deeper into his side. David feels significantly warmer, his skirt a little more constricting than it was a few minutes ago.

He is pulled from his thoughts when one of the teenagers is asking a question from behind them. “Do you have these hoodies in a different size?”

David pulls away first, afraid to be caught in their quiet, little bubble. Patrick takes his time removing his hand from David’s hip. He pats the fabric and turns to look at the teen. David’s opinion of the teenagers has definitely shifted to something of annoyance. “I’ll go check in the back for you.” Patrick shoots him a look before making his way to the back room.

Meanwhile, another teen makes his way over to David. “Woah man. Your uh…nails look wicked.”

David looks down at his nails, still colored with black from the week previous. David had made Patrick retouch them just yesterday, claiming it was unprofessional to have chipped nails. “Oh uh these? It’s um just a little nail polish.” David coughs, realizing how horrible he is at taking compliments.

“Totally. How do you get them to look so good?”

“It’s all about the cuticle care,” David states as he delves into the same lecture he gave Patrick about the importance of nail care.

Their conversation is interrupted by Patrick returning to tell the other teen that they do have the wool hoodie in other sizes. Unfortunately, the teen seems to change his mind, claiming he will just check out with the gum and lip balm he wants to buy.

Irritated, Patrick holds back an eye roll and makes his way to the back of the store room.

David walks behind the desk, kicking Alexis off in the process. The other teen starts asking about his rings, complimenting him once again. David hates that it makes him feel as good as it does. So much so, he offers to gift wrap the pack of gum. 

“Thanks, bro. Come back again soon guys,” David says as the four exit the store.

Patrick reappears. “Great sale bro. Four teens, one pack of gum, which you gift wrapped. Hey why don’t we just close the store up and celebrate for the rest of the day?”

David places his hand on Patrick’s shoulder. “I’ll have you know it was one pack of gum and one lip balm.”

“Well that’ll make up for all the stuff they’ve been stealing,” Alexis gasps in fake agreement.

“I’m sorry?”, David asks as Patrick questions her at the same time. “What do you mean ‘stealing’?”

“Those kids are one hundred percent stealing from you.”

“I don’t think so,” David shakes his head in disbelief. David continues to look on in disgust as Alexis recounts their criminal plans, detailing how the teens are stealing from the store. David and Patrick still don’t believe it. They decide to check the product, finding significantly less than before the teens had entered the establishment.

“I feel like if someone were robbing our store we would know about it, right?” Patrick asks, his own uncertainty seeping into his voice and facial expression.

“Uh yeah we would know,” David assures him.

“Though this would explain the compliments,” Patrick tips his head.

“That’s…,” David looks down at his clothing, suddenly self-conscious.

“What?”, Patrick feigns ignorance.

Alexis assures them that they will be back. “Let’s make a plan to catch them.”

David is stressed, pulling at his hair. _Of course they weren’t complimenting me. Why would anyone do that?_, __he scorns himself. David did not often feel guilty but he can’t help but feel this is his fault.

Sensing his anxiety, Patrick wraps an arm around David’s shoulder and pulls him in close to his side. He grips David’s shoulder in an act of comfort as Alexis continues formulating an arrangement to catch the kids stealing. She claims to need paper to draw out the details as she saunters off to the back room.

David can’t look Patrick in the eye. He turns away but Patrick keeps a hold around his shoulder. “Hey it’s okay. Neither of us realized it. Although I did want to kick them out a long time ago so…”.

Turning to look down at Patrick, he scowls. “I know I know. You don’t have to tell me.”

With one last squeeze, Patrick steps away from David to assess the damage on the amount of products taken. “It’s okay, David. They left some of that cuticle treatment so they can still compliment you on your nails.”

David picks up a pen and throws it at Patrick’s laughing shoulders as he walks away. “I hate you.”

\---

Just as Alexis said, the teens reappear an hour later and the scene plays out exactly as she described. Patrick can’t hide his looks of annoyance, frustrated with the fact it took Alexis’ presence to recognize the situation.

Alexis dangles a wallet made of tape in front of the kids. “Well I’ll be happy to give it back when you and your skid mark friends give back all of the products that you’ve stolen.”

David steps forward with his hands open, prompting for the products. “Hand it over.”

The teens are ready to exit the store when David stops them. “Okay I just have one more question. All those compliments and fist pumps-”

“-bumps,” one of them cuts in.

“Shut up. Was that just part of the big scheme?”

“No you have cool style” and “I like your shoes” are mumbled out of the teens’ mouths. 

“They’re lying to you David. They’re lying, they’re lying,” Alexis hushes urgently.

“Okay. Get out,” David waves his hand and urges them out of the store.

Patrick has to admit he feels bad for David. As easy as it is to make fun of him for the situation, he knows David just wants to be commended in one way or another. _Fuck those kids for doing this to our store. And fuck them for making David feel foolish…only I’m allowed to do that. _

The four scramble out the door. David shakes out his nerves. Alexis flips her hair in David and then Patrick’s face.

“What? Why me?” Patrick throws his hands in the air, watching Alexis make her way to the back room. “Why did I get one?”

“I just feel really gross,” David states.

Patrick watches David occupy his hands, a habit he noticed David does when he is feeling overwhelmed. He fiddles with the papers, tapping them to create a straight edge. He silently observes David bustle around the store, quiet in thought. Patrick hates seeing him this way. Upholding their new-found open honesty policy, he broaches the subject to David.

“Are you okay?”

“Um other than finding out our store has been actively raided by hooligans and that my outfits are apparently _not _renowned by the youth… just great.”

Stepping into David’s space, Patrick grabs both of David’s shoulders to stop him from moving. David doesn’t look him in the eyes, clearly distressed. “Whatever. It’s not a big deal. I don’t even know why I’m upset. Just let me go,” he grumbles as he looks at his feet.

Despite David’s request, Patrick continues rubbing his hands up and down David’s shoulders and arms. “I think the store is going to survive from the loss of a few facial products, David.” He tries to lighten the mood, hoping David will feel better.

When David continues to shuffle his feet, Patrick continues. “I love your clothes. Like I’ve told you before, they are unique.”

Scoffing, David finally looks up. He looks shy and insecure and Patrick has a strong desire to wrap him in his arms and whisper every word that means “beautiful” into his ear.

“You don’t think they are weird?”

“Weird- yes. Definitely weird.” Patrick says and David reaches up to lightly hit him. Patrick smiles and continues holding him in place. “But perfectly David. I can’t imagine you with any other fashion style. You look like a modern monochrome art piece.” David grins at the comparison.

“You don’t need some teenagers to tell you that you’re cool. You are cool. And so are your clothes. If you need someone to boost your confidence, just come to me. You can add ‘validating comments’ to my job description. I promise I will always tell you how beautiful you are…after I tease you of course.”

Patrick feels stupid for the comment but David clearly appreciates it because he closes the small gap between them and brings his arms to wrap around Patrick’s middle. Patrick’s brain short-circuits and he barely has time to relax into the hug. He tightens his grip slightly and gently rubs David’s shoulder. Patrick tilts his head so his nose is near the crook of David’s neck. Before he follows through with his desire to kiss that area, the two are pulling away.

David smiles, his cheeks a light shade of pink. It is all feeling a bit too intimate so Patrick drops one hand and creates a little space between them. “So when I give you said compliments should I say it in a skater teenage voice? Those shoes are totally hip bro.”

Rolling his eyes, it seems that David’s frustrations and worries have melted away, replaced with pink-tipped ears and a shy smile. “Fuck off. And no one says hip.”

“Dope?”

“Stop.”

“Tight.”

“Nope.”

“Gnarly.”

“My self-confidence is actually plummeting the more you talk.”

\---

After an emotionally-draining day, the last thing David wants to deal with is his depressed mother. But of course, here he is, agreeing to help her with the Asbestos Fest performance tonight.

She is already creating plans and pulling out apparel from a stash in her closet. David sits on the bed, contemplating what a strange day it has been.

He can’t really find a justifiable reason as to why he felt so down after the whole teenager thing. It’s not like people were usually genuine with him anyways. It really shouldn’t be that earth-shattering. But for some reason, the combination of his crushed self-esteem and the store’s stolen materials made him feel less than competent.

David is thankful for Patrick and his ability to always make him feel wanted and loved. It made absolutely no sense to David how he always managed to do it. David wants to feel stupid for hugging Patrick but he can’t find it in himself to berate the act. It had been the most comforting thing he had experienced in a long time.

Confidence back on track, he has a sudden realization about what he is agreeing to do. Patrick’s self-esteem boost had only been a mere hour ago and now, here he is about to shatter it once again with this performance.

David reaches for his phone in an attempt to salvage the self-respect he still has.

** **To Patrick:** **

** **You’re not going to that asbestos fest thing tonight, right?** **

_Didn’t we just agree like 30 minutes ago we are going together?_

** **Perhaps but I decided its actually a horrible idea** **

** **I mean think about how dangerous the last event was. We can’t risk our lives like that again ** **

_Pretty sure we were never in danger of dying _

_And I don’t know about you but I had a great time_

_Why don’t you want to go?_

** **It’s not necessarily that I don’t want to go but more like I don’t want you to go** **

_David, use your words_

** **I hate this open communication thing, FYI** **

** **Fine** **

** **Due to a last second disaster, my mother needs help with her performance. And being the generous and wonderful son that I am, I have offered to help her ** **

_As in you will be running the lights or stitching her costume or…?_

** **I will be performing with her, yes** **

_Oh wow_

** **Please don’t come ** **

_This is exciting _

** **Patrick ** **

_David _

****My self-esteem cannot take another hit****

_Hey didn’t I just say today that I am now your go-to self-esteem builder? Which basically means I have to be there. It’s in the job description _

** **Take the night off** **

_Unprofessional_

** **It will count as your paid time off ** **

_But this is going to be priceless_

** **Forget it. I’ll tell my mom shes on her own ** **

_Noooo _

_I promise I will be there for moral support and nothing more or less _

_No judgement here_

** **That’s what you say now but you haven't seen me with my hair straightened** **

Moira comes shooting back into the room, scarves in hand. “Well don’t just sit there, David. We need to be performance ready in a mere 2 hours!”

David sighs and grabs the scarf. He was a performer of the arts at heart, taking after his mother. But he can’t shake the image of Patrick experiencing pre-Schitt’s Creek David after an already mortifying day. He shakes off his nerves and hopefully the dust off this act he hasn’t performed since moving here. This was going to be a shit show, through and through. “Alright let’s take it from the top.”

\---

Patrick scoots in next to Alexis, excitement pulsing through his veins. He didn’t anticipate he would be this eager for the Asbestos Fest but here he is- practically bouncing in his seat waiting to see David.

He had heard David perform karaoke in the car a thousand times over and seen him dance a hand-full of instances. But the idea of a completely sober David performing a choreographed piece is a whole new ball game. Okay but maybe he isn’t _completely _sober considering one of David’s last texts asked him where they were storing the whiskey at the store.

“Okay anyways, without further ado, the main event!”, motions Jocelyn as she moves to the corner of the stage.

Out from the curtain appears David, decked in clothing far too warm for the current weather outside. His hair is straightened and flat across his head. Patrick looks on in shock and delight.

He hears Alexis whisper to her dad, “Um is this the number? It’s the middle of summer.”

Onstage, David begins ‘acting’. "Brr it’s awfully cold out there.”

“Um, they used to do this act every year at our Christmas Party and you can’t un-see something like this,” Alexis says leaning over into Patrick. Patrick chuckles, very much ready to see this concealed side of David.

David clears his throat, his eyes searching the crowd before landing on Patrick’s. Patrick knows he has a wide smile plastered across his face, unable to contain his giddiness at everything unfolding before him. David redirects his attention when a hand appears from around the corner to knock on the stage.

“Oh I wonder who that could be”, David feigns interest. Moira steps out from behind the curtain. “It’s television’s Moira Rose!”

“That’s Television’s mom to you.” _Oh wow,_ thinks Patrick, as he continues to clap along with the audience.

David fake cackles and Patrick could actually burst out laughing at the noise.

“You know, nothing is colder than the chill I get when I think of the dangers of asbestos poisoning.”

Patrick feels Alexis turn her attention his way, looking for his reaction to the act. But Patrick can’t tear his eyes away from the stage, nor can he keep the smile from his lips.

“Luckily a little birdie told me that with enough funds raised, this town could be asbestos free by…”.

“Christmas!” David exclaims.

A piano starts playing Jingle Bells. _Oh wowwwwww. _

“Ding” “Dong “Ding” Dong”.

Patrick licks his lips and watches on as his secretly self-conscious friend starts singing along to possibly the worst Christmas melody he’s ever heard. The speed picks up and David starts showing off some of those dance moves he attempted to teach Patrick twice before.

He can feel Alexis’ eyes turning to look at him every few seconds, clearly amused with his reactions and the embarrassment of her brother. He knocks his shoulder into her, turning to laugh as she shimmies her shoulders to the beat.

As the melody continues, Patrick can tell David is loosening up and enjoying the performance more than he would ever be willing to admit. The look of happiness that crosses his features when he is harmonizing with his mom makes Patrick reach for his phone and snap a few sneaky pictures he will definitely blackmail David with later.

The performance comes to an end and the two bow, staying on the stage far too long for the amount of sporadic applause they are receiving. Patrick and Alexis have the loudest clapping in the room out of pure love of the performance and love of humiliating David. He shoots them both a look but is hiding back a smirk.

When the night comes to a close, they file out of the building, looking around for David and Moira. Patrick makes conversation with Alexis and Mr. Rose, finding it’s easy to talk (and brag) about David with them.

When David appears around the corner, he attempts to own the performance as much as possible. He struts over, curtsying along the way. Alexis claps dramatically, exclaiming ‘bravo’ for her brother and mother. Patrick joins in, feeling evermore-so like a member of the Rose family.

When David finally stops the theatrics, Patrick can tell he is embarrassed. “Wow. So that was…something.”

David reaches out and hits him lightly on the shoulder; Patrick acknowledges that it is the second time David has done it today. “You promised you wouldn’t judge.”

“Oh I’m not judging. Highly amused.”

David grumbles, reaching up to push his hair back. Patrick admires it in more detail now. The look is different. And he can definitely see NYC David wearing it. But the appearance no longer suits him. Nonetheless, Patrick still compliments David’s look in his sarcastic voice. “Love the hair.”

David flips it. “Thank you. It’s my pop star look.”

“And that sweater… is sick bro.”

“Don’t start with me.”

“Scarf is wicked cool.”

David whips the scarf off in one motion and hurls it at Patrick, who is far too busy laughing to do anything about it. The scarf lands on his shoulder and he picks it up to put it around his neck. “How do I look?”

“Ridiculous,” David states but Patrick catches him eyeing him up and down.

“Maybe we should start performing ‘the number’ at Rose Apothecary every year for Christmas?”

David blanches. “Don’t even joke with me.”

Patrick is practically giggling and it all feels happy and cozy and like it is actually winter, despite the weather. He wants to curl up next to a fire and sing stupid Christmas songs with David. _What is this man doing to me? _

Patrick grabs David’s hand within his own. David doesn’t hesitate to hold his back. “Come on. Time for the after party.”

“You’re kidding me. How many events does asbestos have?”

Laughing, Patrick pulls him along. “I’m joking but that would have been hilarious. We could go have some seasonal drinks though to celebrate back at the motel?”

Alexis walks side by side with them, eyeing the linked hands but saying nothing about it. She gives Patrick a knowing look before agreeing. “Oh! Peppermint Schnapps David!”

Moira and Johnny share linked hands in front of them. “Now Alexis you know David can’t have those ever since the Christmas party of 2009.”

Patrick’s ears perk up and he looks at David who is pretending he can’t hear any of them. “I’m definitely going to need more details”, Patrick requests.

Mr. Rose unlocks the car door for them to pile into. “I have some whiskey. Is that close enough to a ‘Christmas cocktail’ Alexis?”

“I could make apple cider!”, Alexis exclaims.

They pile into the car, all of them talking at once about the performance and the drinks and David’s Christmas misadventure. Alexis argues with David and the two bicker about nothing in particular. Mr. And Mrs. Rose recount old Christmas party days. And Patrick just watches on from the back seat, hand glued to David’s, feeling like he could get used to being a member of the Rose family.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys go on a business getaway, inevitably resulting in a not-so-professional vacation. Set between S4E3 and S4E4.

Time is passing quickly and David is finding it easier everyday to push his feelings aside with the change of the seasons. David and Patrick fall into a rhythm, playing those coveted roles they desired so much- business partners who hold hands. The affection became a part of the every day 9-5 to the point that Stevie stopped bombarding David with questions about emotions at their weekly weed nights and Alexis stopped side-eyeing every time she saw them holding hands.

Autumn is in the air and David is more than a little excited to delve into the festive spirit. The two had spent the week arguing about how the store should celebrate the change in weather. Patrick believed a pumpkin patch was in order but David shot him down on the account that hay stacks and oranges gourds did not vibe with their stone and sand palette. David much preferred simulating these activities with fall scented candles. To which Patrick argued there is no such thing as a “cinnamon pumpkin” and the smells from the actual items would be much more in-season. A week of back and forth banter carried on with Patrick giving into one of David’s “fall traditions”.

“I got you your pumpkin spice latte but I think a few degree temperature drop hardly necessitates an autumn themed drink,” Patrick says as he hands over the cup to David.

“It most certainly does. It also justifies the scarf and boots I will be wearing tomorrow.”

“Too bad I won’t be around to see you sweating it out through your unnecessary extra clothing.”

David raises his eyebrows in question behind the cup placed at his mouth. He swallows the sweet, spicy beverage and makes a noise of confusion. “What do you mean? I thought we might go watch a movie with Stevie or something tomorrow for the day off.”

Now it is Patrick’s turn to give David a questioning look. “But I’m going to that Small Business Summit I told you about a couple weeks ago.” When David continues to give a blank stare, Patrick proceeds. “You know about self-owned entrepreneurship and tax reductions and optimizing profit margins…”.

“Oh that’s what you were talking about? When you brought out the excel sheet, I thought it was okay to stop listening.”

“Glad those weekly business meetings are really connecting our partnership and growing our business model,” Patrick states sarcastically.

“Wait so you are going to this meeting thing by yourself?”

“Well yeah. That’s what we agreed upon or at least I thought we agreed upon. And besides, it clearly wouldn’t interest you anyways. That’s my side of things remember?”

“That doesn’t seem very fair since you’ve made an effort to get involved on my side of things and come out to suppliers every time I make a trip.”

“I do it more for the company,” Patrick says confidently. David bites back a smile and Patrick continues. “You know I couldn’t miss a David Rose car pool karaoke. Those tickets are expensive.”

“You have been truly blessed. Which is why you shouldn’t pass up the opportunity this time. And who knows- maybe the hotel bar has karaoke?”

“David, the room is already booked. We don’t exactly have leeway in the budget for another room. Plus, I already have my whole day planned for which seminars I’m attending. I really don’t think it would be your type of thing.”

“You don’t want me to go?” David attempts to not sound insecure but he knows his voice sounds a little whiny and desperate.

Rolling his eyes, Patrick reaches for David’s hand and brings him closer to his side. “Of course I want you to go. I just feel like it’s my duty as your friend to tell you that you may die from boredom?”

“You never know. I could learn something,” David says, sticking his chin up in the air. “When do we leave?”

“I was just going to leave from work. But we can make a stop at your place so you can grab a few things?”

David laughs and pats Patrick’s hands. “How about I go pack now and you pick me up when it’s time to leave?”

“It’s only 1 in the afternoon…”

“Exactly. You should be thankful I will even be able to get ready in that amount of time on such short notice.”

Patrick doesn’t argue. He just grins and gives David’s hands one final squeeze before letting him go. “Don’t forget your nighttime facial products!”, Patrick yells after him.

“I would never,” David says seriously as he exits the store.

\---

The car ride soundtrack fluctuates back and forth between various 90s and acoustic songs for the one hour trip; the two men sing their favorite songs at one another while the other teases from the adjacent seat. Jack Johnson’s ‘Better Together’ is playing through the speakers as they pull up to the hotel with a sign that reads “Welcome, Small Business Owners!”.

Patrick hops out of the car and grabs his duffel bag from the back seat. He is still humming along to the song that is no longer playing, watching David as he sings the melody under his breath. The contrast of the sweet words to the man standing before him almost makes him laugh out loud. David is tugging at his two oversized suitcases in the trunk, groaning and sighing more than is justifiable for the amount of effort he is putting into removing the luggage. He looks up and shoots Patrick a pleading look.

“Nope. I am not carrying your bags for you, David,” Patrick states pragmatically despite his gut reaction to drop everything and help him. 

“But you made me put them in the car and I think I pulled a muscle or something so…”

Patrick just crosses his arms over his chest. David sighs and pulls on both suitcases with as much force as he can muster. The two bags come tumbling out of the car, causing David to stumble backwards and drop both on the ground.

“Smooth. Potential business partners are going to be lining up to work with us,” Patrick smirks and turns to walk towards the hotel lobby. David follows behind, the noise of his bags colliding into one another echoing behind him.

It is not until Patrick sets foot in the lobby does he feel his stomach lurch. He hadn’t thought much about the implications of David joining him on the trip until now. Patrick had been proud of his ability to keep himself together the past few weeks. David seemed to accept the affectionate and communicative boundaries of their relationship. He couldn’t let all of their progress disappear from one weekend away.

He appears casual as he approaches the counter, loud stumbling business partner in tow. He is still thinking about Jack Johnson and figures he is good as anyone to take life lessons from. _Better when we are together, right? _

“Welcome! Are you attending the Small Business Summit?”, greets the enthusiastic woman behind the counter.

Patrick nods and gives his name for the reservation. Before she can take any further steps, Patrick continues, “Would it be possible to book an extra room? Or one with two beds?” At this moment, David finally catches up to Patrick and dramatically drops his luggage at his feet.

The chipper concierge glances between the two of them, continuing to smile. “Well the hotel is completely booked for the event. Let me check if there is any chance I can switch rooms for you?”

She types away at her keyboard, the clicking faster than Patrick’s heart rate. David is eyeing every corner of the hotel, looking curious and confused. “Um is there like a hotel bar or spa or something else somewhat extravagant here?”

The typing stops and the smiling woman looks up. “We do not have a spa, sir. But we do have an indoor swimming pool which is almost like a spa. Nor do we have a bar. But we do have a lovely restaurant that serves alcohol so it’s basically the same thing as bar.”

David looks dumbfounded and turns to Patrick with a serious look on his face. “Those are not the same things, Patrick.”

Patrick gives a sarcastically sympathetic look, one only he can pull off when it’s directed at David. “Doesn’t even compare to the amenities at the motel, does it?” He reaches out and grabs David’s hand with an exaggerated empathetic touch. David just glares at him but keeps their hands connected at his side. 

“It doesn’t look like a room change is going to be an option, sir. I apologize for the inconvenience. We could get a cot sent up to the room?”

Patrick nods. “Yeah that would be great. Thank you.” He watches her finalize the bookings before turning to look at a horrified David.

“What? Is the hotel haunted? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Something much worse… a night of sleeping on a springy, dingy fake mattress.”

“I’ll take the cot, David. You can sleep on the slightly less springy, dingy mattress.”

David opens his mouth to speak but is interrupted by the concierge clearing her throat and handing over the key cards. Patrick thanks her and heads towards the check-in summit area before David has the chance to argue or cause a scene. Patrick signs them in and grabs a pamphlet of seminars and schedules.

David is searching through the pamphlet, making gibing comments at the names of some of the presentations and questioning the usefulness of the courses.

“Listen to this one. ‘Making Dough: Money in the Bakery Business’… are you kidding me? I didn’t know Ted made these presentation titles,” David says snarkily as he flips through the pages.

Patrick is laughing and he continues reading some of the names as they wait for the elevator. “This one would be good for you, David. ‘How to Connect With a Younger Clientele’.” David smacks him with the pamphlet right as the door to the elevator dings.

They step into the elevator like they are stepping onto the tower of terror. It feels like a parallel universe as Patrick is affronted by the knowledge that they are going up to THEIR hotel room. Maybe if he had been brave so many times before, this night away would carry much different implications. Maybe it still could.

The doors opens and Patrick insists David exit the elevator first. He drags his bags behind him, the two barely fitting through the elevator without an extra tug from David.

When they approach the room, Patrick senses that maybe David is feeling just as awkward as he is. Patrick steps in front to open the door, swinging it open to reveal the type of room he had anticipated- small, one bed, no significant views. It definitely is not conducive to David’s needs.

Patrick attempts to hold the door open for David but it’s clumsy and awkward and the door closes on the suitcases a few times before they are finally standing in the room together. They are both silent as they meander the room. Patrick makes a popping noise with his mouth and then sets his stuff down on the desk.

David stands in front of the window. “Very impressive views,” he states while drawing his hand towards the brick wall in front of him.

“Mmm indeed. And this bed is exquisite.” Patrick sits down on the mattress. “Do you think this is memory foam?”

“Oh and room service!” David grabs the menu from the desk. “Almost as classy and world-renowned as the Cafe.”

“Well it would be wrong to not try it then.”

David reaches for the hotel phone. “Only if we can get some mozzarella sticks.”

\---

They have settled into the seemingly weird situation, David sitting cross legged on the bed while Patrick sits at the desk facing towards him. A plate of mozzarella sticks, pizza, and various other sides sit between them on the edge of the bed. David had opted to refuse any alcohol, not trusting his drunk instincts while sharing a small space with Patrick. Patrick is also quick to decline alcohol tonight, claiming he needs to keep sharp for all the information they will learn tomorrow. _Nerd_, David thinks fondly.

David is flipping through stations on the tiny television in the corner of the room, while Patrick matches his diligence reading through the seminar schedule for the following day.

“’Local Ownership in a Small Community’. That sounds perfect for you. Maybe you should check it out. Actually, yes you will. I already circled it for you. Along with ‘Skirt Your Way to the Top: The Business of Fashion’”, Patrick says excitedly. _An adorable nerd._

“Uh-huh yeah sure. Oh! Look._The Lake House_ is on!”, David exclaims while simultaneously shushing an already quiet Patrick.

David settles down onto the bed, lying flat on his stomach facing the movie. Patrick cranes his neck to look at the T.V. and says, “Another Sandra Bullock movie?”

“You mean ‘Yes another Sandra Bullock movie!’ This is one of my favorites.”

“Aren’t they all?”, Patrick inquires, shifting his body to prop his feet onto the desk.

“There is a tier list I can draw out for you. Also you look very uncomfortable.”

Shifting his feet even further on the high, wooden surface, Patrick shrugs. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Just come up here. How else are you going to appreciate Sandra and Keanu’s glorious romance unfold?” David would be lying to himself if part of him was just deprived of Patrick’s touch. They had barely grazed past each other since David decided to come along and he was aching for any kind of closeness, even if it put his own fading willpower to the test. 

“Glorious, huh?”, Patrick sits up from the chair and plops down at the top of the bed without argument. He props his back up against the head of the bed. David is about to make a comment about keeping his feet to himself when he feels Patrick place both of his feet up onto David’s shoulders. “Ah yes much better.”

“Patrick!” David shimmies his shoulders in an attempt to get Patrick to move his feet. Instead, Patrick just laughs harder and presses his heels into David’s should blades. David feigns distress and gently kicks back in an attempt to shut Patrick up. But of course, Patrick just takes the opportunity to grab hold of David’s feet in his hands. David suddenly feels flushed and wonders if he is turned on by being held down or specifically Patrick holding him down.

Still laughing, Patrick lifts his feet and places them on the bed and lightens his grip on David’s feet, continuing to hold them and gently massage the soles between his fingers. David relaxes into the touch, a sensation of youthful glee in his chest escaping in tiny giggles between deep breaths.

“You need to pay attention to the movie, Patrick.”

Clearly not paying attention, Patrick continues to trace lines through David’s socked feet. His fingers move their way up and down David’s calf. He strokes the seam at the top of his sock, playing with the skin on his leg. David melts into the blanket with contentment from the sensation. He has never been one to fall asleep in front of others secondary to his lack of trust. But lying here now with Patrick’s fingers on him, he could fall into a deep slumber.

Distracting his mind, David reaches for a slice of peach from the fruit plate in front of him. He had insisted on a charcuterie plate if nothing else in this hotel could satisfy his lavish desires for a weekend getaway. He bites at he piece of fruit, returning his mind to the movie on the screen.

“See that twirl he just did with her. _That _is what we want from our dance lessons,” David exclaims.

Silent behind him, Patrick kneads his fingers into David’s legs. He continues to watch the dancing scene play out and then returns the comment. “I suppose Keanu would make a much better dance partner.”

Finishing off the peach, David keeps his eyes trained on the movie. The two are close, pressed together as they dance. The pace of their movements slow and the inevitable romantic kiss plays out on screen. David sighs. “He is pretty great.” Patrick smacks his foot lightly but doesn’t say anything, both of their eyes enamored with the amorous scene playing out in front of them.

David begins to feel a slight tickle at the back of his throat. He chastises himself, immediately assuming he is getting chocked up from the emotional movie. However, as the movie plays on, he realizes the sensation is something he is not familiar with. His throat feels tight and it’s becoming increasingly more difficult to breath. He shifts around uncomfortably on the bed, his body reacting before his mind can catch up with it. The more unusual he feels, the faster the anxiety sets in.

Always knowing exactly how he is feeling, Patrick seems to sense David’s discomfort. The soothing sensation on his leg slows and he hears Patrick speak through his catastrophizing thoughts. “David, are you okay?”

_I think I’m okay. I’m okay, right? No. Clearly something is wrong. Something must be terribly wrong. Why do I feel this way? _“I um…yeah. My throat just feels a bit…tight.”

Patrick sits up a bit on the bed, keeping his hand on the back of David’s knee. “What’s wrong?”

David takes a deep breath in, trying to calm his own mind and physical reactions. “I’m…not sure. My throat started feeling scratchy a few minutes ago and now it’s hard to breath.” The words come out more panicked than he wants but it has Patrick up and springing to the end of the bed. He tells David to come sit up, helping him along the way (whether he needs it or not).

“Is it a panic attack?”

“Well not yet! But I feel like I’m on the verge of one, especially when you’re looking at me like I’m going to die!”

Patrick’s appearance alters and he takes a deep steadying breath in, collecting himself. “You’re okay. Maybe you just ate too much?”

“Rude.”

“Are you allergic to anything?”

“Not that I’m aware of.”

“Is there anything on this plate you haven’t eaten before?”

“Uh…”. David takes a hard look at the plate and can’t think of anything he would have never consumed prior.

“How about the last thing you ate?”

“I had a peach.”

“And have you had any reactions to those before?”

“No. Well…actually now that you mention it… when I spent that summer in Turks and Caicos, I had some strange reactions throughout the trip. There was a lot of fruit. But also there was a lot of alcohol and drugs so I wasn’t exactly in the best state of mind to be aware of those changes.”

Patrick leaps off the bed and grabs for his bag, digging through it as casually as he can muster. He pulls out a little bag that is unfamiliar to David. After rifling through, he pops two tiny pink pills into his hand and gives them to David. “Take these just in case.”

“Do you really just have a medication bag with you? Actually…that does not surprise me in the slightest”. He takes the pills from Patrick and grabs the cup of water that is already waiting in Patrick’s other hand.

After downing the pills, Patrick instructs him to drink the rest of the water. “Let me look in your throat.”

“Ew no what?”

“I have to see if your throat is inflamed.”

“Hot.”

“David.”

“Fine,” he grumbles.

Patrick tilts David’s chin back and inspects the inside of his mouth. “Hmmm just as I suspected.”

“What? What!”

“Sloppy.”

David rolls his eyes, already feeling significantly calmer.

“But it does actually look pretty red. I think you are having an allergic reaction. Do you think we should go to the hospital?”

“No. No hospitals. I’m already feeling better. And tired.”

“The Benadryl will do that. But don’t go to sleep yet,” Patrick instructs. He is looking at something on his phone, reading intensely.

“Am I going to survive?,” David asks half jokingly and half seriously.

“Questionable at this point.”

“Wait…”.

“No. I think you’ll be fine. It says just drink lots of water and keep an eye on your breathing. Apparently pitted fruits are a pretty common un-diagnosed allergy.”

David descends back onto the pillow, an emotional and physical mess._ Why does Patrick always have to be around to see me at my worst? _

Patrick grabs David another water bottle from the mini bar and sits down on the bed cautiously as he hands it to him. Patrick eyes David carefully as he drinks the water. Feeling Patrick’s intense eyes trained on him, he suddenly feels self-conscious. “What?”

Shrugging, Patrick relaxes next to David with his head propped up on the pillow. “Just keeping my eyes on you.”

“Well could you maybe keep it to just one eye or something? I’m already feeling blotchy and bloated as it is and now you’re making me feel like I have tentacles or something.”

“Oh wait you’re telling me that’s not a side effect from the allergic reaction?”

David just glares and then closes his eyes, feeling very drowsy. “Just shut up and watch the movie”, he grumbles as he drifts off to sleep.

\---

When the movie ends, David has been sleeping for over an hour. Patrick admits he had been watching David far more than he was the movie. And he will fully blame it on the fact that David needed to be monitored…medically… a lot.

David sleeps peacefully on the pillow next to him, his hands tucked in under his head. Patrick reaches out and brushes his hand through David’s hair. He has found a million reasons to touch the soft black hair standing tall on his head. Tonight, his only excuse is that he can’t bear the thought of not doing it.

Playing with the hair between his fingertips, Patrick has an overwhelming motivation to keep David safe. David’s allergic reaction gave him more of a scare than he would ever be willing to admit. He swears he won’t let anything bad happen to him.

David stirs in his sleep, smacking his lips together and turning his face in towards the pillow in an attempt to block out the light filtering from the T.V. and the single lamp sitting on the bedside table. Patrick figures this is probably as good a time as any to wake him to get ready for bed. He knows he will never hear the end of it if he lets David sleep without completing his nighttime routine.

He continues pushing a soothing hand through David’s hair, while the other hand reaches out to David’s cheekbone. “David”, he whispers softly a few times over. David arches into the touch and mumbles something intelligible.

“David, it’s time to go to sleep,” he encourages idly. “You missed the part where they finally reunite in the present…or maybe it was the future?”

Groaning slightly, David finally peeks one eye open to look at Patrick. “But I didn’t get to see your reaction.”

Patrick smiles. _So adorable._ “I’ll recreate it for you.”

David yawns and sits up slowly, looking around in confusion. “That stuff is good. What medicine was that…for research purposes?”

“Go get ready for bed. We have a long, education-filled day tomorrow.”

With a moan and a few dramatic sighs, David stumbles out of bed towards the bathroom, grabbing his clothes and skincare products along the way.

Patrick is left sitting alone in bed, contemplating his next action. It’s hard to leave the bed with it’s warmth and it’s now distinct smell of David. He decides to throw on his pajamas while he can, knowing David will be in the bathroom for a while.

Reluctantly, Patrick sets up the the pillows and blankets on the cot next to the bed. It’s the last place he wants to be while sharing a room with David but it’s really his only choice if he wants to get any sleep and respect David’s space. He lies down on the springy mattress, flipping through the summit pamphlet until David reappears.

Patrick tries not to stare when he walks out. He doesn’t want to appear creepy but he is once again smitten with David’s cuteness. He is wearing a matching long-sleeve and pants pajama set, paired with a black robe tied loosely at the front. His hair is flatter than usual without the gels in it. He looks different. Less product and more David. _Beautiful_, Patrick admires.

Patrick averts his eyes when he realizes he is staring before David does. “Uh so are you feeling better?”

“Yes. Thanks to my caring doctor. I am still very tired though.” He crawls into bed and yawns.

“We can add doctor to the list of job titles I am for you,” Patrick says quietly. “I’m going to use the bathroom.” He quickly escapes the room to brush his teeth and get ready for the night, as well as calm his own nerves that are on high alert for some reason.

When he reappears, David is struggling to keep his eyes open. He sits up straighter when Patrick enters the room. Both of them seem quiet and unsure. Patrick rushes to get into the cot, suddenly self-conscious about his plain t-shirt and gym shorts.

Before he gets too settled in, David is coughing. Patrick is once again on high alert, concerned about David’s well-being. David waves his worries away as he coughs, grabbing for a glass of water. “Throat is just scratchy,” he mutters between gulps.

“Are you sure you are going to be okay?”

“I am. Are you sure you will be okay on that disgusting piece of cardboard?”

“I think I’ll make it.”

A beat of silence. And then… “Because… well...”

Patrick’s ears perk up and his hopes ascend. 

“There is room in the bed. And uh I know how much this thing means to you tomorrow so you should have a good nights sleep,” David is spewing out quickly. “Plus um you said you are supposed to keep an eye on me. Make sure I don’t choke on my own tongue or whatever. You can’t really do that from over there. And I would hate for my death to be in this dingy hotel room for a little business gathering so…”.

Patrick is smiling into his blanket, trying not to burst at the seams. “I think the tongue swallowing thing is for when you are drunk and is unlikely to happen. But… I suppose I should be close by…to make sure you are breathing fine… and everything.”

David just gives a light “mmm” in agreement, his ability to talk suddenly swallowed by the little light in the room. Before Patrick can change his mind or shut down another opportunity, he slips out of bed and into David’s. He only goes in so far, his feet still dangling from the edge, afraid that if he moves too quickly David might send him away.

Patrick tries to settle into the pillow and let the air out of his lungs before he turns to look at David. David is staring at him, lips slightly parted. Blame it on the allergy reaction or the medication or the energy of the hotel room but David reaches out and holds Patrick’s cheek in his hand. It makes Patrick blush and close his eyes. He leans his hand more into David’s touch, soaking up this moment he wishes he could have forever.

Patrick brings his own hand up to hold David’s in place, stroking the back of his hand with a sense of passion and care he hopes can be conveyed through the simple movement of a single joint.

He feels the hand slide slightly down to his neck. His breath hitches and his eyes open, startled. He is met with a sleeping David whose hand has fallen down from it’s initial positioning. Patrick grabs a hold of the hand, staring at the now peaceful David.

Impulses erratic tonight, he takes the hand between his fingers and presses a light kiss to the back of David’s hand. It feels innocent and sweet but also heart-racing and risque. He places David’s hand back onto the bed and brings the covers up to his chin. He twists towards the side table to turn off the light.

The room is thrust into pitch blackness and all of his sensations are heightened once again. He feels so energetic and on-edge as much as he also feels cozy and at-home. He takes deep breaths, slowly bringing his body down to where his mind is mentally.

His eyes adjust to the darkness and a soft light streams in slightly from the window. He can see David perfectly next to him, inches away. He wants to drink up the moment forever but his body has finally caught up with these feelings of comfort and he knows sleep is overtaking him.

“Goodnight, David,” he whispers softly. He closes his eyes, the image he ordinarily pictures before falling asleep now lying next to him.

\---

As David awakens, he snuggles into a warmth radiating from underneath the covers he is not used to. It is almost too hot but in the most satisfying way possible. He kicks his leg so he can hang it outside of the comforter. But in the process, he knees the source of the warmth.

“Ouch,” Patrick mumbles next to him.

David’s eyes shoot open and is met with an adorably sleepy Patrick who is currently making a pouty face with his eyes still shut. David is trying to catch up mentally, bringing himself up to speed with last nights events. How exactly were they in the same bed again?_Oh right I basically seduced and forced him to sleep with me, _David curses.

Not wanting to wake up Patrick any further, he calms his breathing and keeps his leg planted under the covers. His toes are touching Patrick’s bare legs, the small skin to skin contact oddly exhilarating. The warmth seems a lot more tolerable now that he is face to face with the man he has been wanting to be in bed with for months.

Breathing returning to normal, it seems that Patrick has fallen back asleep, giving David the perfect opportunity to admire the image in front of him. The two are close, mere inches apart. Patrick’s one hand is snug under the pillow and the other reaches out towards David, the fingertips just grazing his shirt.

The outstretched hand is too much for David to resist and he tentatively places his hand on top of Patrick’s. _I’m seriously crossing so many lines right now and he is going to be so freaked out when he wakes up and he is going to hate me and I should really pull away now and get out of bed before it’s awkward and-_

Patrick stirs again and the hand underneath David’s grips at the sheets. He makes a small moaning noise- a sound that is causing David to think of much less innocent things that could be happening in this bed right now. Before his thoughts can create an even more uncomfortable situation, one of Patrick’s eyes peeks open to look at David. He doesn’t seem surprised by the bed-sharing or their proximity or even the hand placed on top of his. In fact, he closes his eyes again and intertwines their fingers.

David is stricken. He interlocks his hand with Patrick’s and allows himself this one good thing. He will deal with the consequences of a broken heart once he’s no longer holding this man’s hand.

After minutes of silence, Patrick makes a sleepy groan indicating his wakefulness. Eyes still closed, he yawns and stretches the arm under his pillow. Was it a coincide that he seemed to be just a bit closer when he came back into his previous position from stretching?

“You’re hot.”

David snorts, a sound that breaks the quiet calmness of the room. “Thanks.”

Patrick smiles, eyes still closed. “It’s very warm under these blankets and I really do not feel like getting up.”

“Mmm but you would hate to miss ‘Hook Me Up: An Intro to the Fishing Industry’.”

“Oh really? I don’t remember seeing that one on the schedule. In that case, I better get going-”

“No. It’s fake. Don’t go,” David stutters and then backtracks. “I mean… who knows if I’ve fully recovered from that allergic reaction yet?”

Patrick finally decides to open his eyes, blinking a few times to adjust to the light. He removes his hand from David and leans forward close to his face. David holds his breath and just stares until he realizes Patrick is reaching out to feel his forehead.

“No fever or anything. How is your breathing?”

_Difficult with you around. _“It’s okay.”

Patrick is lying on his side, smiling at David. They both go quiet and they are left with the fact that they are lying side by side, staring at one another with stupid smiles on their faces. David wants to hide under the covers but then he would just be presented with Patrick’s body and that would definitely not help.

“Well on that account that you are still alive and everything, we probably should go do the thing that we came here for.”

David’s body feels chained to the bed, wanting only to stay and lie here forever. “Yeah I suppose so.” But makes no effort to move. If anything, he sinks further down into the covers and so does Patrick.

Patrick’s hand laid between them comes up to swipe a hair off of David’s head. His eyes flutter shut with the touch. “Your hair looks different.”

“You will be shocked to know my hair does not naturally defy gravity.”

Smiling, Patrick plays with the piece of hair, staring at it intensely. “I like it,” he says quietly. David wants to scoff but Patrick continues, not giving him the chance. “I like how it looks without the product. And with the product. But the morning look is definitely cute.”

_Cute_. David sputters, positive no one has ever used that adjective to describe him before. “The business professionals will not approve of my un-styled hair.”

“David, I gotta be honest with you. I don’t think they will notice. Besides, you have a lot more to offer. People are going to love hearing about your store and your ideas.”

“Our.”

“What?”

“Our store.”

Now it’s Patrick turn to hide his smile in the sheets. “Right. Well they are going to love the store. And obviously your fashion and hairstyles,” he motions towards David’s hair. “And your eye for design and innovation.”

“Too bad they won’t like me though.”

“Why wouldn’t they?”

“In my experience, people like what I do and what I have to offer. I am just the unfortunate package deal that comes along with those things.”

Patrick does not look surprised by David’s words. In fact, he looks…determined? Patrick stares, eyes fixed with David’s. He wants to drop his eyes but the intensity keeps him searching for a reason behind Patrick’s gaze. “I like you.”

_I like you._ It brings David back to elementary school days, wondering if he should ask back ‘But do you like me like me?’ He doesn’t know how to respond. Patrick surges on, “They are going to like you, David. Maybe they will even look past the weird allergies and sloppy mouth.”

I like you. I like you. I like you. It’s becoming too much and whether Patrick means his words and his movements or not, David has to step back from this situation for his own sake. He’s broken far too many rules today. He needs to know his limits. He slowly, reluctantly, painfully rolls to the side of the bed to sit up. He yawns to mask the loss he is feeling in his outstretched arms. “I would argue it is a very clean mouth. But I do need to brush my teeth.”

Patrick watches him for a minute before he also rolls to the edge of the bed. “You should probably take the bathroom first since you have a longer morning routine.”

David nods and then remembers Patrick cannot see him. “Right. Yeah.” He scurries off to the bathroom, barely giving Patrick a second look. His limbs are on fire and his body is coming down from the high. Patrick’s tender touches and ‘I like you’ are sticking to his skin, seeping into his core. He needs a nice, long, cold shower to wash away these feelings that are threatening to re-surface, endangering the perfect home he’s come to make in his relationship with Patrick. He stands under the water for far too long, praying it will flow into his heart and flood out this soft, Sunday morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I could write this story without adding every trope imaginable but what can I say, I’m a sucker for bed-sharing. Also, the pitted fruit allergy came from a reference in S4E4 Girls Night and I thought it would be a nice tie in. Hope you guys enjoy the cheesiness and the gradual progression to them getting together (I swear they are almost there) <3


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stevie and Patrick grow closer and David learns to compromise. Set during S4E4 Girls Night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this took forever to post. October has been a crazy month for me at work and it’s been a tough chapter to write. Please don’t kill me for what is about to unfold ❤ Please stick around to find out what happens next! Thank you as always for the incredible support. 200+ kudos?! I honestly can’t believe it. You guys are the best!

The days following the hotel, Patrick’s stomach remains in a knot of unrelenting tension. He knew he was pushing the limits sharing a bed with David. But waking up next to him was a whole different level of testing his boundaries. He hadn’t intended to do impulsive things like kiss David’s hand or say things such as ‘I like you’ and call David ‘cute’ but the morning coziness and David’s sleepy appearance dismantled all of his remaining common sense.

However, nothing really seemed to alter in their relationship. The conference carried on exactly as he had planned- enjoying semi-interesting seminars and dragging a very bored David around to all of them. And the weekend concluded with a car-ride filled with timeless classic sing-a-longs and sharing snacks Patrick had packed for the journey. And even afterwards, their hands still found there way towards one another and the teasing carried on like nothing had happened. But Patrick couldn’t shake this looming sense of doom and a feeling of regret festering into something ready to burst.

Patrick is deep in his spiraling thoughts this morning, readying the store earlier than usual. The bell above the store rings, instantly alerting him to the door considering it is far too early for David to be here yet.

Stevie enters the store, acting like it isn’t strange for her to be here without David present. Despite their growing closeness, the two rarely interacted outside of a group scenario with David being their middle man. Feigning normalcy, Patrick nods in Stevie’s direction. “Welcome to Rose Apothecary.”

“Somehow it sounds even more pretentious coming out of your mouth.”

“Impossible. You know David is the only one who can say the Rose name with the ostentation of royalty.”

Stevie hums in agreement and walks around the store, touching objects as she goes.

“Can I help you with something?”, Patrick asks suspiciously.

“Hm? Me? Oh no. Just bored. Thought I would come see what you were doing.”

“No work to do at the motel?”

“Johnny and Roland were arguing about beers or something. I don’t know. But it gave me an excuse to get away for the day.”

“And you decided _here _was the best place to spend your time?”

“Don’t act so skeptical. I am allowed to come over and…hang out with my…friend.”

“Ah right. Well I’m a little hurt, Stevie. Here I thought we were best friends.”

“Oh no pretty sure that title is both reserved on our ends for David.”

Patrick eyes her up as she continues to wander around and respond casually. “What do you need Stevie?”

“I am insulted. But since you are asking if I need anything… I could actually really use some discounted booze for this thing I’m doing later.”

“What thing?”

“Getting drunk.”

“A worthy cause. But yes, I would be willing to sell you something. Pick your poison,” Patrick states as he pulls some bottles out.

Stevie grumbles as she looks over the alcohol. “Also…it may have occurred to me that I wanted to send you a text about David this morning and we do not have each other’s numbers so…”. She looks hard at the bottles in front of her and then grabs a one to hold tightly in her hand.

Patrick flashes a crooked smile. “Well let’s change that. I could use all the David content I can get.” Cringing at his own words, he backtracks. “I mean… all of the embarrassing stuff and whatever.”

“Uh-huh sure”, she says as she grabs for Patrick’s phone.

“Okay now I can send you this picture I got of him last night after our weekly… uh get together.”

“I already know about the ‘get-togethers’ Stevie. But please do send me this picture.”

Stevie smiles wickedly as she types away at her phone. Patrick’s phone buzzes and he looks down to find a picture of David with two bottle caps on his eyes and a joint in his mouth. Patrick bursts out laughing, unable to contain his giddiness. Stevie joins in, clearly still amused despite the amount of times she must have looked at the picture.

When Patrick calms down, he saves the photo to his phone. “This is definitely his new contact picture in my phone.”

“Oh good idea. He will loveee that.”

“I have another one you can add to this collection as well,” Patrick says as he searches through his recent pictures.

Stevie waits in anticipation until a picture appears on her phone. She opens it to see David lying in the hotel bed they had shared just last weekend. He is fast asleep with his mouth wide open and his neck crooked awkwardly to the side.

Stevie snickers. “Cute.”

Patrick laughs, “I thought so.” _Oh_. He backtracks once again, noticing how easy it is to let down his guard about David with Stevie present. He wonders if she has the same affect on David. He coughs to cover his own words but Stevie is already side-eyeing him and smirking in his direction.

“Well we should definitely share more of these.”

“Agreed,” he says quickly, hoping she will blow past his comment.

“So you can have more cute pictures of David.” _No such luck. _

“Uh yeah,” he chuckles awkwardly and grabs at the back of his neck. “I just meant he looks funny.”

“Sure,” Stevie smirks. She sends more pictures, still looking down at her phone as she speaks again. “He obviously trusts you a lot if he allows you to have ‘bad’ pictures of him. It took me years to have clearance on such images. Or at least sneak them.”

That shouldn't make Patrick as happy as it does. “I think you’ve just worn him down. He’s given up now when it comes to me.”

Stevie nods mindlessly but not seeming to agree at all. She sends another picture of David. This one is different that the rest but still has the same private, unseen energy to it. David is sitting on his motel room bed. He looks like he is laughing hard- harder than Patrick has ever seen. His smile is wide and his face is scrunched up. He is holding his sides and curled in on himself. It’s beautiful and Patrick is jealous he has never elicited such a look from David before.

He doesn’t realize he is staring at his phone in such awe until he hears Stevie clear her throat. Patrick blinks a few times. “It’s a good one.”

She has a smug look on her face, like she knows exactly what she is doing to him. “I like it,” she states nonchalantly.

He continues skimming through his own pictures, trying to distract his skipping heartbeat from David’s gorgeous smile. But his phone is filled with pictures of David. One of David sitting cross legged on a chair in the store, looking bored from the lack of customers. David taking a series of selfies with Stevie after stealing Patrick’s phone. David performing in Asbestos fest. David yawning tiredly and drunkenly during a night out. And then David chasing after his phone to delete said picture. David flipping him off after he accepted Patrick’s ownership of the picture.

He comes across the picture of them on the Ferris wheel; it feels like a lifetime ago. They are beaming under the harsh amusement ride lights. His hand tingles recalling the feeling of their linked fingers just beneath the picture’s view. He doesn’t know why but he feels compelled to share the moment, justify his place in David’s life to Stevie. He sends it to her during their laugh-filled back and forth messages.

When she gets the picture, she doesn’t make the sarcastic or biting comment he expects from her. Instead, she genuinely smiles. “You should make this your screen background or something. You guys look adorable.”

Patrick can’t deny that. “It’s one of my favorites,” he admits. 

She eyes him with a knowing look, her gaze shattering his facade. She says nothing but Patrick notices the change in her demeanor. She sends every picture of David, more than just the funny and embarrassing ones, and excitedly swaps stories she knows Patrick will appreciate. Patrick knows Stevie well enough to sense a secret motive behind it all. But he is far too fearful to ask or admit to something that might just give him hope. 

\---

When David enters the store, the last thing he expects to see is Stevie and Patrick laughing over the cash register like old friends. He grips at his side, a wave of agitation coming over him. It was just the night previous he had told Stevie all about the hotel adventures from the weekend before and she had been more than a little straight forward about her opinions.

_“David, I swear to God. If you don’t do something about this, I will.” _

_“There is nothing to do.”_

_She sighs dramatically. “I don’t think I want to hear about this anymore until you actually act on your emotions.”_

_“I never said I have emotions.”_

_“You don’t have to. When you talk about what happened, it’s clear how you feel. And I think it’s becoming pretty obvious he feels the same way. Friends don’t hold hands in bed or cuddle in the morning.”_

_“We didn’t cuddle…”_

_“And I would never check your mouth after an allergic reaction. You are on your own if that happens around me.”_

_“Wow thanks.”_

_“All I’m saying is that you need to get your shit together.”_

_“You are a horrible friend.”_

David was still feeling a little hurt and annoyed by her lack of understanding. And now, here she was- having the time of her fucking life with the man who is destroying his.

“We’re all just hanging out before work? Was there a text chain that I wasn’t on or…?”, David remarks snarkily as he makes his way over to them.

“Well it’s not exactly ‘before work’. The store opened about 25 minutes ago so…”, Patrick notes.

“But yes, there is a chain. And no, you’re not on it,” Stevie says. David shoots her a look before directing his attention to the desk in front of him.

“You’re kind. I noticed we moved the lip balms.”

“Yeah because we got these new breath mints in and I wanted to give ‘em a fighting chance by putting ‘em up near the cash.”

“Huh,” David murmurs. _This is a horrible place for the mints to go_, __he notes. 

“Uh-oh,” Stevie whispers under her breath. David hates her for knowing him so well.

“What? Is something wrong?” Patrick searches for an answer, a look of confusion on his face.

“No. They’re just new mints that haven’t been sampled yet so for all we know they could be poison. And we’re moving the lip balms, best sellers, all the way to the corner here.” David takes a pack of mints and tosses one into his mouth, ready to drop dead from the toxic substance for the sake of the store.

“Okay well I don’t think the mints are poison.”

“They’re very delicious”, David admits. “Point is, these are a staple of the store. They’re at the cash. People come to the cash expecting the lip balm. I just wish I had been consulted before they were moved.”

“David you move things without consulting me all the time. Like the brooms!”

“Okay well they were fugly brooms with big red handles. They didn’t match our sand and stone color palette.”

Stevie watches the conversation carry back and forth, inserting herself only to egg David on. “Well this is clearly a high-stakes situation so maybe you wanna close the store down and figure it out.” He glares, threatening her with his facial expression. 

“You know David, one of the fundamental pillars of any successful business person is their ability to compromise,” Patrick states.

“Mmm I have to agree with Patrick on this one,” Stevie carries on.

“I don’t think there’s anything you have to do. And I compromise all the time.”

Both of them snugger and turn away from David’s view.

“What?”, David asks, annoyance ringing in his voice.

“Nothing. I just um just remembering all those times that you compromised,” Stevie murmurs.

“I was just thinking about the same things because there’s so many to flip through. Remember when you shut me down on having music in the store?”

“Okay last week I let you put a pumpkin in the window.”

“You made me pick between that or not having a pumpkin patch at all.”

“And you picked the correct choice. That deal came with the great addition of fall scented candles.”

“Just so that you know, making someone choose between two things that you like is not exactly a compromise

“I am fine with compromise. It’s just _this _situation that’s bothering me. So why don’t we just put everything back exactly as it was and start again?”

“So in that case, I know that you were planning to go pick up the tote bags later this afternoon, even though I asked you to do that two days ago. So maybe in the interest of compromise you could go and do that now?”

David looks between the two, knowing he can’t win on this one. “Fine. Stevie, would you care to join me?” He is not interested in having Stevie staying here alone with Patrick at all.

“No.”

“Fair enough.”

“So you guys are just going to stay behind and talk about me after I’ve left. You know, swap stories about how I don’t compromise.”

Both look at each other and nod in agreement. “Mhmm” and “yeah” are said simultaneously.

Frustrated and pissed off, David exits the store. He continues looking back behind him as he closes the door. David ruminates on all the ways Stevie could sabotage his relationship with Patrick- all the stories and emotions she knows. He storms away, determined to prove them both wrong.

\---

Still waiting for David’s return, Patrick and Stevie continue to share stories about David and all his instances of stubbornness. The two speak with laughter and fondness in their voices. Patrick is actually enjoying his time with Stevie and is accepting that maybe he can learn a thing or two from her about cracking the complex code that is David.

“You know what would be hilarious? Putting those hideous brooms back at the front of the store for when he returns?”

Patrick laughs, picturing David’s face. “I think I know something that would be even better,” he says as he makes his way to the back room.

He returns to the front, waving a plunger in Stevie’s face. She nods with an impressed look on her face. “You are almost as evil as me.”

“I am going to assume that’s a compliment coming from you. So thank you,” he says as he gathers more of the plungers to put at the front of the store. 

“There is no way he’s going to let it happen. He will try. And he will fail. I give it 3 hours before he breaks.”

“I think he can push through til the end of the day.”

“You’re so on,” Stevie says raising a hand to shake on their deal.

As Stevie predicted, David tries very hard to hide his discomfort and agitation upon returning. After numerous questions and faces of suppression, David gives in to the new store layout. Patrick catches David staring at the plungers throughout the day, looks of pure dissatisfaction crossing his features. Stevie even captures said faces with her sneaky camera work, sending the images to Patrick in their new-found text chain.

Patrick spends the rest of the day riling David up, teasing at every given opportunity.

“I found some dust pans in the back that I think would be a great addition to our new store front,” Patrick remarks, carrying in a handful of cleaning supplies from the back room.

“Well the other home supplies are selling so well, it only makes sense,” Stevie exclaims from the other side of the store.

David is holding his hands behind him like he might accidentally ring Stevie’s neck if he doesn’t.

“It really goes with our new aesthetic, huh David?”, Patrick exclaims with a smirk.

“That’s the first time you’ve ever said the word ‘aesthetic’ and I’ve never heard it used in a more inappropriate context.”

“No I think our new aesthetic is selling things and profiting in our business so I would say it’s pretty appropriate.”

“Mmm cute,” David shoots back, popping another mint into his mouth.

“You are really enjoying those mints considering how deathly poisonous they are,” Stevie says with enthusiasm.

“I’m just hoping it will kill me,” David fires back at her.

Patrick just smiles and makes his way to David. He stands behind David and brings his hands up to David’s shoulder and neck, slowly massaging into the area there. “You seem stressed, David.” He pushes down David’s hiked shoulders, kneading into the skin.

“I’ve never been better,” he says sarcastically. Despite the edge to his words, his shoulders fall and he seems to relax into Patrick’s touch. Patrick continues to create slow circles on David’s upper back, enjoying the feeling of David’s broad shoulders beneath his fingertips.

He is entranced with his own thoughts regarding David’s shoulders until he looks up to meet Stevie’s staring eyes. She doesn’t raise an eyebrow or bat an eyelash but Patrick can see the thoughts behind her snide grin. He rolls his eyes at her, pretending that her thoughts about them are not one hundred percent true.

“What do I have to compromise on to pay you back for this massage?” David rolls his shoulder’s into Patrick’s touch and his eyes shut.

“Definitely a massage in return.”

He looks up to see Stevie’s reaction, easily forgetting her presence once again when David is so close. Her smiles grows ever wider. Patrick just redirects his attention back to the man in front of him. He can’t keep this up forever, especially with Stevie’s stalking eyes on him.

“Does anyone else think it smells a bit like a spa made from dead leaves in here?”

“That’s the smell of ‘thankfulness’, Patrick,” David says matter-of-factly, gesturing to the candle lit on the counter.

“Huh. Almost as ridiculous as your ‘sweater weather’ candle the other day. Very mothball-y.”

Stevie snorts as she puts the candle up to her nose. “Hmm I don’t know. Definitely giving me a ‘Turkey in the Hampton’s’ kinda vibe.”

David steps out of Patrick’s laughing grasp. “Okay I am not loving…_this_,” he says, waving his hands around between the two of them. “And also I did celebrate Thanksgiving in the Hampton’s and it smells nothing like that. More J.Crew ski wear and designer perfume odors…”.

David and Stevie are still giggling and attempt a coaxing “aw come on David”. David is not amused and saunters off to the back room.

Once David is out of ear shot, Patrick nods towards the clock. “Your three hours is almost up. I don’t think he is going to break, even with me helping you.”

Stevie waves him off. “Even so, there is no way he sticks it out til closing time.”

Patrick shrugs. “He is as stubborn as he is unable to compromise.”

\---

The store has finally closed for the evening, putting an end to the longest, most torturous day of David’s business career. The three of them are sat in chairs at the front of the store, sipping on glasses of red wine (as per Stevie’s recommendation).

“You know, I have to say, if we hadn’t put these babies out there, there’s a strong possibility we wouldn’t have sold two of ‘em today,” Patrick waves the plunger in David’s direction.

“And a brush,” Stevie remarks. She raises her glass in the air to which Patrick returns the gesture.

“But at what cost? You know?”, David tries to argue.

“And the mark-up on the plungers is actually very good. Makes me think that we should be taking more products from the back and actually putting them out here.”

“Mm-hmm,” David presses his lips together in an attempt to keep the words from spilling out. But the long day and the wine and Stevie’s smug face brings his over the edge. “Okay no no no no no. No! No! Fine, I’m terrible at compromise! There I said it. Like Beyonce, I excel as a solo artist and I was also dressed by my mother well into my teens. Okay??”

Stevie and Patrick are smiling wide and looking between one another. “Let it out, David. Let it out.” Stevie raises her glass once more into the air before taking a drink.

“I’m sorry that I just know what looks correct. And this situation is not correct!” David waves his hands around the plungers and maybe also a little bit in the direction of his two friends teasing him.

“Toilet plungers on display at the front of store is incorrect. Breath mints where the lip balms should be… not correct!”

Stevie whispers along to Patrick, shaking her head. “Not correct”, she mouths.

“My two best friends joking at my expense, bonding and saying who knows what without me present. Incorrect.”

“I’m sorry, what did you just say?”

_Dammit_. David backtracks. “I said the breath mints need to move.”

“I think it was something about your two best friends?” Patrick seems amused and surprised.

“Um I don’t remember saying that.”

“Yeah no that’s definitely what I heard,” Stevie chimes in.

“Well hey if you don’t like your two best friends teasing you, I guess we better just leave for the night.”

“I mean or not. I don’t remember saying it. So you can do whatever you’d like,” David flounders for a response.

Stevie stands from her seat, a proud look on her face. She throws her bag over her shoulder and turns to Patrick. “I think my work here is done.”

“And what work is that exactly?”

She throws the plunger over her shoulder and looks back at them, even more self-satisfied than usual. David makes a mental note to hate her more for this later. “Goodnight, best friend”, she mocks. She slips out the door, leaving Patrick and David finally alone for the first time today.

“So best friend making fun of you huh? I guess I better lay off the jokes?”

“I want to let you know that our relationship without us teasing each other is also incorrect.” David sits down in the chair next to Patrick, lazily throwing his feet up over Patrick’s lap. Patrick immediately grabs on to his legs and strokes up and down his shins.

“Well in that case I should let you know that your two best friends 100% put a bet on when you would break today.”

David gasps and kicks his foot down into Patrick’s thigh. “Stop with the best friend thing. I didn’t even say that.”

“You definitely did. And it was the sweetest thing me and Stevie will ever hear from you.”

David just rolls his eyes and takes a drink. “Yeah don’t get used to it.”

They both sit in silence for a minute, thinking. Patrick finally speaks. “I always thought you were joking about the best friend thing.”

David groans, annoyed they are still on the subject.

Patrick laughs, soothing David’s annoyance with his fingers massaging into his leg. “You’ve known me less than a year. Surely Alexis has got to outrank me.”

David snorts and simply states, “No. But she does make top three.”

“Top three? So I’m either one or two,” Patrick says with a sly smile.

David ignores him by taking another swig of his drink, the wine slowly dwindling in his glass, leaving nothing more as a distraction.

“Come on. I have to know now. I can’t be one, right? Stevie has been around too long. She knows too much. But then again, arguably, she annoys you more. And I do get your coffee and desserts everyday. Is there like a point system? Do you have a list of all our good and bad deeds? How many points do I get for the massage? And how many for balancing the cash register today? Oh better question, how many points does Stevie lose for sending me all these wonderful pictures of you today?” He points the phone towards David, landing on the one of him with the bottle cap eyes and joint between his lips that sent Patrick and Stevie into a laughing fit earlier in the day.

David gasps and grabs for the phone, immediately trying to delete it. Patrick reaches over, realizing his mistake. “Nooo! Don’t delete it. That’s my favorite picture of you.” He is laughing in-between grabbing for the phone. The movements result in David’s legs slipping between Patrick’s, the two a tangled, laughing mess as they tug at the phone playfully.

Patrick finally gives in and lets David have full reign of his phone. David gives the picture a once over before handing the phone back to Patrick, image still intact. “I take it back. You guys are no longer my best friends. Alexis has now moved up in the ranks.”

He smiles, gathering David’s legs back into his lap. They sit in silence for a few comfortable minutes. Patrick finally breaks the silence. “You’re my best friend too, David.”

David looks up from his glass. His heart leaps into his throat and the comfortable silence is suddenly making him squirm. He wants to come up with something clever and sarcastic to respond with but insecurity gets the best of him. “Really? Are you sure?”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.” Patrick holds his gaze and shows no signs of humor or doubling back on his words.

David has never heard more sincere words in his life and it’s almost crushing. It’s getting harder to breath, chest slowly rising and falling. Everything is so quiet in the store but his head is buzzing with noise. It reminds him of the time way back at the bar when Patrick had murmured similar words. But at that time, they had been drunk and the words were joking and light. This felt different.

Patrick makes a purposeful move closer, his body leaning over David’s feet. Is it in David’s head that Patrick’s eyes flicker to his lips? His hands are no longer stroking David’s leg, instead gripping it firmly between his two hands. Everything is stilled in the world besides Patrick’s face moving steadily closer towards his.

David doesn’t even realize he is leaning in as well until they are close enough that he can feel Patrick’s breath against his face. Maybe he can steal some of Patrick’s air to make up for his own lungs inability to work? David makes a million mental notes at once about Patrick’s face- his dark eyes, wavy hair, small stubble creeping onto his chin.

They are stuck. The motions cease but the tension holds. David decides maybe he doesn’t want to just look anymore. He brings his hand up to rest on Patrick’s shoulder. His heart races but for once, he feels confident. He strokes the fabric beneath his hand, ready to close this lingering gap.

And then the door to the front of the store clambers open. His hopes come crashing down, along with his hand from Patrick’s shoulder, his feet from Patrick’s lap, and his dignity. He fumbles to catch himself, his mind trying to catch up with the sudden alteration in the environment.

In walks his sister and his mother, both looking like they’ve had quite the night out. Alexis wears her semi-tipsy face and his mother wears an outfit that David could only describe as cab driver-esque.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”, he says angrily, crossing his hands over his chest.

“David, we saw the lights on. We were fearful you had been robbed in a disastrous act of pilfering,” Moira states, offended by David’s inability to see what is distinctly a kind gesture.

“Well not getting robbed so…”, David says irritated. He finally looks over at Patrick who is bright red and looking down at his lap.

“David, it’s like more than a little creepy and sad to just be sitting in your place of business at night. This is why businesses require paid time off,” Alexis says matter-of-factly. She analyzes the situation a little more and then makes a face, before attempting to cover it up. “Oh well um yeah I guess you like aren’t getting robbed or anything. So we should go. We’ll tell you all about our night out later.”

Moira clearly does not take Alexis’ hints. “I was able to bestow my vast knowledge of seduction techniques onto Alexis and Twyla. One was successful but I think that is just dependent on the student, not the pedagogue.”

Patrick seems to break out of his funk and finally stands up from the chair to speak. “Thanks for checking in on us Mrs. Rose and Alexis. We were actually just about to close up. Just give us a minute to shut everything down and then David can head home with you both.”

David makes no effort to hide his disappointment and confusion as he stands up as well. The two began cleaning up the bottle and glasses and shutting things down. Meanwhile, Moira continues to demonstrate her seduction techniques to David, insisting it could be useful for him as well.

David avoids Patrick’s gaze as he finishes closing up the store, a wave of nausea bubbling in his stomach and his throat thick with regret. What would have happened if his oblivious family hadn’t walked in? David realizes he has a lot of “what if” moments surrounding Patrick and will definitely delve deeper down that thought hole when he inevitably can’t sleep tonight.

Alexis is finally able to drag Moira out of the store with the promise of wanting to hear all about her mother’s younger days and throwing a wink in David’s direction.

David grabs his bag from the counter, still averting his eyes from Patrick. Everything is tense and awkward and he is about to make a comment to fill the void when he feels a finger run down the back of his spine. He involuntarily shivers and turns around quickly to see Patrick walking towards the door. He turns around as he opens the door. “Did I do it right?”

David can’t decide if Patrick is flirting or just oblivious. Either way, he can’t hide the smile that creeps onto his lips. “Pretty sure you’re supposed to go into a dark corner afterwards.”

“So it didn’t work?”

“What didn’t work?”

“I didn’t seduce you?” He looks smug and it makes David want to grab him by the shirt and kiss him. Instead David just rolls his eyes and walks through the open door, bumping his shoulder with Patrick’s as he does so.

“Someone has to break it to her that these ‘techniques’ do not work.”

Patrick follows him out the door and closes it, pulling out his key. “Guess she’ll just have to show me some of her other methods.” He turns away from David, using the key to lock the door. David is staring, speechless and unsure what to say. Before he can respond, Patrick has locked the door and is turning back towards him. He points at the direction of the car. “Alexis is staring at us very intensely right now. You should probably go”.

David sees Alexis peaking through the car window and turning away quickly recognize she has been caught spying. David groans and presses his palm to his head to ease the headache his family is giving him.

“Goodnight, best friend,” Patrick says smoothly and winks at David before turning away to walk to his car.

David stares after Patrick’s retreating figure, more confused than even._What the fuck is happening? _


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang spends the night in and Patrick experiences some firsts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I am horrible at finding time to write lately but I’m hoping the longer chapter makes up for it (pretty please)? It’s because of your support that I find the motivation to keep writing. Thank you so much! <3 Also, I realize weed is a re-occurring theme in this fic which was not intended but just kind of happened lol Enjoy!

Patrick definitely does not feel as smooth as he had come across. He is a bumbling mess inside and feels like he might collapse at any given second. His mind plays the evening on repeat- David’s legs on his lap and his face inches away from his own. He swears David had been leaning in closer and closer, his lips definitely in kissing range. Patrick hadn’t even realized his own movements until he was basically on top of David. Maybe it is all in his head but he would give anything to find out what would have transpired if Alexis and Moira hadn’t stumbled though the Rose Apothecary doors tonight.

His instinct is to panic and shut down. He nearly had, sitting speechless listening to David bicker with his family. But if he has learned anything from his experiences with David, it was that pulling away in these situations never seemed to help. He always regretted pushing it aside and he was not going to fall into that trap again. Hope and confidence is key…at least that’s what he is going to try to convince himself is true.

Before he can over-analyze his actions further, his phone buzzes on the bedside table. He quickly reaches over, fumbling to open his phone.

** **Hey** **

Patrick smiles at his screen. Relief washes over him and he instantly feels better. David doesn’t hate him. David wants to talk him.

_Hey_

** **Sorry about my family. They can’t help but be invasive and clueless** **

_Mmm genetic huh?_

** **Funny** **

** **So I was thinking** **

_Really?_

** **Shut up** **

** **Its only fair if I get embarrassing pictures of you ** **

** **Who knows how many you received from Stevie?** **

_It will never be enough_

_And I know you have plenty of sneaky pictures of me. Remember when you took the one of me flaunting your beautiful nail art _

** **That image is a gem and you know it** **

** **And the pictures I have are nothing like the mortifying ones of me. God I don’t even want to know what she sent you** **

_Oh so many good ones _

_This is a personal favorite _

Patrick searches through his camera roll, scrolling through the many pictures of David and contemplating dedicating a whole folder to just images of David. He lands upon one where David is flaunting a bright pink scarf, tossing it behind the blonde wig he is wearing.

** **UGH** **

** **I hate her** **

** **And you** **

** **I am also realizing almost all of these pictures are taken when I’m high** **

** **Which is basically illegal since I cannot consent to such horrendous moments of me being captured ** **

_Maybe you need to stop getting high around Stevie_

** **Huh you’re right… ** **

** **I just had a brilliant idea** **

** **I should get high with you instead ** **

_Would we call that a “brilliant idea”?_

** **We would** **

** **It’s perfect. You’ve never been high** **

_I have been. In college. I told you about it_

** **I know but that barely counts since no one actually gets high their first time. And you didn’t even enjoy yourself ** **

** **And now I can get equally embarrassing pictures of you** **

_You’re really selling it for me. Past bad experiences, horrible pictures of me, an inability to control my inhibitions…perfect _

** **It will be fun** **

** **Pleaseeeee** **

_Eh_

** **Come on Patrick ** **

** **Don’t make me beg** **

_I would love nothing more_

Patrick chastises himself the second he presses send. He really needed to calm down with all this flirting. If he wasn’t already obvious before, he was sure David was suspicious at this point.

**…**

** **Patrick Brewer** **

** **Would you please get high with me?** **

_I demand a cherry on top_

** **Fuck you** **

Gladly, Patrick thinks. Followed by, You can be my cherry on top__. _God I need to control myself. _

_Okay fine but only because you asked nicely _

** **You’re referring to the getting high thing…not the fucking, correct?** **

Patrick bursts out laughing, the honesty in the statement making him gleeful.

_Guess you’ll have to find out when we get high together _

** **…What have you done with my sweet, innocent business partner?** **

_Corrupted by you clearly _

** **I won’t deny that ** **

** **Shall we say tomorrow? ** **

_Sure but I’m only doing this in hopes of getting some quality content and to finally experience high David outside of intoxicated voice messages_

** **I will never live that down** **

_Never_

David doesn’t respond right away and Patrick begins to zone out, thinking about all of tomorrow’s possibilities. He realizes it will probably end up just like any other hangout night if that’s what he desires. But he also knows he can change that if he wants to. And part of him…most of him… really wants to.

The phone buzzes again and Patrick looks to see a picture from David. He opens the image of David lying on his bed, holding a joint between his fingers and wearing a sneaky look on his face. He looks like he is ready to go to sleep and Patrick aches to be there with him. But the picture itself is enough to have him smiling ear to ear, happy to feel a little closer to David tonight.

_This is incriminating _

_Reported_

** **God I bet you’re so fun when you are high ** **

_Don’t get your hopes up_

** **Night Patrick ** **

_Night David_

Patrick can’t stop smiling, even once he puts the phone down and turns off the lights. His brain swims with the images of David and imagines all the potential ones he will have tomorrow. This is going to be the night. It has to be.

\---

David tosses back and forth under the sheets, running through the same moment over and over again. He had been so close to closing that physical and metaphorical gap he had been battling with since day one of meeting Patrick. He knows he would have done it. And for that reason, he has never been so simultaneously pissed and relieved by the presence of his family. On one hand, every inch of him wants to know what kissing Patrick really feels like outside of his own imagination. But he also knows it will lead to the exact thing he has been trying to avoid this entire time- disappointment. And heartbreak. And the end of something he can’t afford to lose.

“David, I can hear you over-thinking from here,” Alexis aggressively whispers into the darkness.

“Well maybe I wouldn’t have to be over-thinking if it wasn’t for you.”

“Oh my god David I already apologized like three times. How was I supposed to know you were trying to slam your business partner after store hours?!”

David just groans and flips onto his side once again. The room goes quiet and David considers throwing something at Alexis just to spite her. Instead, he wallows in self-pity and digs himself deeper into the covers.

“Umm…”, Alexis says quietly, “So like is it awkward now? With Patrick?”

“Surprisingly not,” David considers. “In fact, we have plans for tomorrow evening.”

“Plans?!” Alexis is shoots up straight in bed. “What do you mean?”

David sighs and avoids the question until Alexis is clearing her throat, expecting a response. “Fine. We are going to get high together tomorrow.”

“And you were just going to carry on letting me feel bad about ruining your chances? What the hell David?”

“There are no chances. It was probably…it was definitely a mistake. I’m just glad he doesn’t want to disown me as a partner. And friend.”

“Well of course he doesn’t”, Alexis states. She pauses before speaking again. “Stevie is right. You two are idiots.”

“Wow glad to hear Stevie is really making the rounds on everyone I’m close with.”

The two fall into silence again. David thinks about tomorrow and what it could mean for his relationship. He suddenly has butterflies that were not present when he had proposed the evening to Patrick. But Alexis’ words are shaking him and he is suddenly terrified at the prospect of expectations.

“Alexis?”

“Mmm”, she hums. Drifting to sleep.

“Would you join us tomorrow? For the evening? It could be more like a party thing?”

“You know I don’t smoke after my incident with Brad Pitt in Amsterdam, David. And also it makes no sense why you would want me there after tonight.”

David considers her words, unsure himself why he needs someone there with him. Maybe he is too scared to admit what he actually will do if no one is around to stop him. “It will be fun. Stevie can join as well.”

“You can’t hide from your feelings forever, David. Having me and Stevie there isn’t going to change the way you feel. Or the actions you want to take.”

David doesn’t respond. He picks at his nails nervously. Alexis must sense his impending anxiety because she sighs and speaks once again. “Fine, David. But only because it’s your turn to take a selfish and I could really use one in the coming weeks.”

Too tired and anxious to pry, David hums in agreement. “Okay. Thanks, Alexis.”

She just groans in response. David contemplates moving her up in the friendship rankings. He pulls out his phone and sends Stevie a text.

**To Best Friend/Wishes:**

**Soooo don’t be mad. You have to help me**

\---

Stevie was not having any of this shit today. Nope. Not again. She had worked far too hard over the last few months to make these two idiots see they were meant to be together. And then there is finally a breakthrough last night and suddenly David is back to square one. Stevie flips over in her texts away from David’s guilty messages to angrily write Alexis.

** **To Alexis:** **

** **Um ** **

** **HELLO** **

** **Hi** **

** **Why would you interrupt our two favorite idiots from having a moment??** **

Stevie goes about getting ready for the day, silently seething from her text conversation with David this morning. It’s not that she expected things to end perfectly after last night… okay maybe she did a little bit. But she did not expect an anxious, awkward David to make an appearance after all the effort she had put in. Her endeavors are basically futile at this point and no one is giving her the credit she greatly deserves.

_Excuse me Stevie _

_I was just being the loving sister that I am and making sure my brother’s greatest accomplishment wasn’t being robbed_

_Sorry that I actually care about him _

_Also I had a very horrible night which apparently no one seems to care about _

_And I’ll have you know that it is all going to work out in the end _

_Because they already have plans for the evening _

** **I’m well aware** **

** **Plans that we are both involved in apparently ** **

** **Very romantic** **

_Definitely my idea of a perfect date _

** **What do we do? ** **

__🤷 _Nothing_

** **Perfect 👌** **

_Oh!_

_We bait them into expressing their feelings for one other_

_Just like when my friends trapped me and Leo DeCaprio in a cave together in Thailand _

** **Are you proposing a devious plan?** **

** **Because I’m in** **

_It’s easy _

_Come up with some excuse why we can’t do it at your place _

_We use one of the motel rooms as our meeting point _

_Let them get high out of their minds _

_And leave them alone in the room together to finally talk out their feelings _

_Of course that includes us inciting some chaos throughout the night_

** **Diabolical ** **

** **For once, I am proud to call you my friend’s sister** **

** **I’m in as long as this does not take place in the honeymoon suite…** **

_Ew Stevie none of us want to be reminded of your horrendous mistakes with David _

** **Also just because we have plans doesn't mean we can’t also get high ** **

** **Maybe you can tell me about your shitty night or whatever** **

_ _🤨_ _

_Awww Stevieeee_

** **Stop** **

_You care about your best friend’s sister _

** **No. I’m just being a good friend to David and making sure his sister is mentally stable ** **

_That is so sweet ❤_

** **God what have you all done to me? ** **

\---

Since the moment Patrick awoke this morning, he had an overwhelming sense of nausea and shortness of breath. The world is slightly tilted and everything is just a little bit off. He shouldn’t be nervous about tonight- there really is no reason to be. It is just an intoxicated night in with his best friend. They had done it plenty times before.

Then again, that was before he had almost kissed said friend and flirted with him relentlessly since that moment. What had he been thinking?

And to top it all off, Patrick was frankly a little nervous about getting high. There was a reason he hadn’t done it since college. The experience had been one of paranoia, fatigue, and…well a lot of snacks. But the snacks definitely did not make up for the feelings of anxiousness he had endured. He had swore to himself that was not a feeling he wanted to experience ever again.

But now he is here, doing it again. Voluntarily. Just so he can spend a little more time with the person who already consumes his life. The person he spends almost every waking minute with. And yet, for some reason, it isn’t enough.

Thankfully, David wrote him early in the day to announce that Stevie and Alexis would be joining them. In some ways, Patrick is relieved to have some pressure taken off of the evening. But also… he can’t help but imagine what the night could have been with just the two of them alone, all walls and fears finally torn down. 

The buzzing in his pocket breaks him away from his thoughts and the mirror in front of him. Patrick realizes he has been staring at his own face for far too long, razor still in hand after preemptively shaving for tonight.

_From Alexis Rose, Stevie Budd, David Rose_

_Hello everyone. As the organizer for tonight’s event, I would like to announce the time and location of our super exclusive VIP party 🎉_

_Time: 7PM. Place: Room 1. Attire: Casual. RSVP ASAP _

** **From Stevie:** **

**👍**

Patrick tries not to over-think everything, promising to enjoy a night with his friends. He shoots them back a message confirming his attendance and decides to spend the rest of the day keeping his mind off of the night ahead. He resolves to help Ray out with some work around the house. He mows the lawn while he really wants to sit in his room and think about what it would feel like to kiss David for the first time.

It’s almost surprising how quickly the evening rolls around and he rushes to get ready. He decides to wear something comfortable and David-approved. He remembers David had once complimented his black long-sleeved shirt and loose fitted sweatpants when he caught Patrick wearing them, hungover from the night prior.

He is feeling relatively okay until he pulls his car up to room 1 of the motel. This is the first time he will be seeing David since their weird encounter the night prior. What does he do? Act like it didn’t happen? Carry on this confident persona? Cower in self-pity and embarrassment?

He never settles on an answer because out walks Stevie from the room in front of him. She has her arms crossed over her chest, staring purposefully at Patrick. She makes an exasperated look before waving him out of the car. He rolls his eyes before turning off the engine and stepping out of the car.

“Someone ready to get high for the first time?”, shes says with as much enthusiasm as Stevie can muster.

“As I’ve said numerous times, I’ve done weed before.”

“_Done _weed. Yeah okay. Well you’ve never experienced being high with us so that’s a completely different experience.”

“I won’t argue with you there,” he says as he makes his way to where she is standing in the door. However, Stevie makes a point to block it before he can go inside.

“And plus David is really looking forward to tonight. So that’s…something.”

Patrick raises his eyebrows, confused by her clear attempt at…something. But the thought of David looking forward to spending time with him enraptures him and he can’t help but feel giddy. “Really?”

“Yeah. Oh yeah. I’m basically boring to get high with now since we’ve done it together so many times. But you’re… exciting apparently. And David just keeps talking about getting his revenge for the pictures or whatever.”

Patrick smiles at her. “Those are some pretty great pictures.”

She nods and opens the door. “Let’s take some more.”

He enters the room and checks his surroundings. The room is set-up much like Rose’s room is. It is small with a wet bar, a TV, a desk, and bathroom in the corner. In the center of the room is a double bed where David and Alexis are sitting face-to-face.

They seem to be arguing about something, bickering back and forth until Alexis makes eye contact with Patrick. Her lack of response causes David to turn around. The two look at one another with the shyness of two elementary school kids with crushes. Patrick stays glued to his position in the door until David finally speaks up.

“I almost didn’t think you would show up.”

“David, I’m…”. He checks his watch. “Three minutes early.”

David waves him off and scoots off the bed. “You’re usually 15 minutes early to any given event.”

“Well you never know if there will be traffic or an emergency or…if Ray will need help with planting just one more flower.”

David laughs as he approaches Patrick. He reaches a hand out and it feels like all the soothing and reassurance he needs in the world. David looks unsure of himself and Patrick can’t remember another time where he could say that. He grabs the hand, hoping his response makes David feels as relaxed as he makes him feel. He allows David to pull him into the room and into this weird evening.

Patrick catches Alexis staring at them from across the room. She is smiling, wearing a knowing look. Patrick wishes he could be as informed as she clearly feels.

They all sit down on the tiny bed, legs crossed over their own laps and one another. Stevie instantly pulls out the joint and waves it around. She makes some sarcastic comment about everyone stealing her weed. Alexis launches into some historical reason as to why she can only have exactly three hits. David holds his hand tightly and smells the weed with the other, making a snide remark on Alexis’ past.

It’s familiar and comfortable. And yet, Patrick has a looming sense of uneasiness. Despite being surrounded by the people he trusts the most in a place he has come to think of as a second home, Patrick can’t help but feel anxious about the night ahead.

\---

“Has anyone ever mentioned to you that Budd is the same word as bud? You share a name with weed!”, Alexis giggles into the air.

David laughs beside her, lying down side by side with his sister and Patrick. Stevie makes a noise between a snort and a scoff, causing her to laugh even harder.

Cheeks hurting from smiling, David reflects on the night so far. It had started peculiar with Stevie being strangely vague about the change in location for the evening and Alexis being curiously persistent in the specifics for such a casual event.

“David, you just need to relax. Patrick is not going to be awkward about yesterday and neither should you. If anything, you should just like talk about it,” she said as David picked out some cozy clothes for the evening.

“Uh yeah no that’s not going to happen.”

“David, you just need to enjoy the night. See where it takes you. It’s like Paris Hilton always said to me- ‘Cutting loose is hot’”.

So here they are- cutting loose, laughing, and having fun. David thought everything would be much more awkward following the night previous but it almost felt like it never happened. Patrick pretended like nothing had changed, still holding onto his hand and stroking his fingers beneath his own. And despite David’s uncharacteristic awkwardness, Patrick never said anything that would indicate feelings of regret or shame.

David turns to check on Patrick lying next to him. Their hands are clasped at their sides and Patrick is staring straight up at the ceiling. David expects to hear him laughing along to the stupid joke but finds him relatively stone-faced, unmoving in his expressions. David tries not to over-think it and chalks it up to his introduction to absurd high thoughts.

“Hey”, he whispers quietly. “You okay?” He genuinely wants to know and make sure everything is alright.

Patrick blinks a couple of times and turns toward David, their faces now very close on the crowded bed. He takes a second to answer. “Yeah I’m okay.” He flashes a smile that’s purpose only seems to be to reassure David.

Before David can interrogate further, Alexis is popping up from the bed on the other side of him. “Let’s play a game!”

David groans. He expects Stevie to join in his sentiments but she seems to strangely be on board with the idea. “What do you suggest?”

Stevie chimes in from the floor where she is propped up against the bed, playing with Alexis’ hair falling over the side. “Never Have I Ever?”, Stevie proposes.

“You hate that game. And also that’s for drinking.”

“I have beer.”

“I don’t think getting Patrick cross faded on one of his first high experiences is the best idea,” David states, trying to protect Patrick from this insanity.

“It’s okay, David. We should play. It’ll be fun,” Patrick chimes in for one of the first times in a while. He sounds off but maybe that’s just David’s intoxicated perception of things.

Only an hour ago, Patrick was sticking the joint up to his lips for the first time in a long time.

_“So I should just suck in?”_

_“Yeah suck it hard, Patrick,” Stevie expresses facetiously. _

_He winks at her and attempts to be smooth with his movements but ends up coughing for five minutes straight after his first hit. Alexis can’t stop laughing and David just pats Patrick’s back to assure him that “it happens to everyone the first few times”. _

_“Ow,” Patrick simply states after his long coughing fit. He still goes in for another hit when everyone else does. _

_“You’re a natural,” David teases and Patrick playfully hits his shoulder. _

“Alright fine let’s do it,” David states reluctantly.

“Yay!” Alexis claps her hands and sits up on the bed. Stevie pulls some beers from the fridge and passes them around. “Okay. Never have I ever ummm made out with someone of the same gender,” Alexis says.

Now sitting up in bed, David snorts and tosses back a swig of beer. He side-eyes Patrick, hoping by some miracle that he takes a drink. As expected, he doesn’t and it only hurts a lot. The only thing that makes it better is the look of something regretful that passes his features.

Shockingly, Stevie takes a drink. David raises his eyebrow and questions her. “Um what?” She just shrugs and gives no further explanations.

“Alright never have I everrr repressed my emotions for someone because I thought they might not feel the same way about me,” Stevie says with a far-too-casual shrug for her remark. David glowers at her as he reluctantly tips his drink back to take the smallest sip he can muster.

Patrick, still quiet next to him, shakes his head side to side. He brings the beer up to his mouth and takes a much larger drink than necessary. David instantly wants to know more. He needs to know more.

He catches Stevie smirking and feels the strong desire to kick her out of the room. “Okay Patrick your turn,” she states coyly.

“Ummm.” He looks deep in thought. David admires the redness on his cheeks and haziness in his eyes. “Never have I ever… uh… done weed before tonight with a group of friends I like?”

“Oh come on”, Stevie exhales and Alexis groans. David just laughs, loving the re-appearance of that classic smirk. They all take a drink.

“Okay,” David states as he begins his turn. The only things that come to mind are all too embarrassing to state with Patrick present. He goes for an easy, stereotypical option. “Never have I ever been skinny dipping”.

“That’s not fair, David. You know that’s how I spent my entire summer in Costa Rica,” Alexis cries.

“I’m shocked that of all the things you have done, this is not one of them,” Stevie says pointedly.

“Have I ever given any indication that I would enjoy being naked in a public setting in either a disgusting pool or in a body of water with some lurking creature swimming around me?”

She shrugs and turns her attention to Patrick, still sitting quietly on the bed. “Now for Patrick it makes sense.”

He half-laughs but the smile doesn’t reach his eyes. “I guess I’m not that adventurous.”

“Well this is perfect. You both now have someone you can do it together with. I would recommend the local public pool down the street. Easy to break into at night and probably the one you are least likely to catch a disease from.”

And for the hundredth time tonight, David glares at her. He knows he irritated her earlier with his request for her to join them this evening. But her demeanor and comments are even more straight-forward than usual. He just hopes it isn’t making Patrick feel uncomfortable.

“Yeah okay whatever. Take a drink,” he says annoyed.

Stevie takes a long drink and continues her unsubtle tirade. “I mean really tonight is the start of a lot of firsts for you both. Patrick is finally getting high. You are finally sharing emotions. What else could you _possibly _check off the list tonight?”

Alexis nods along. “Mhmm totally.”

“Stevie…”, David gives her a warning. Why was she trying to create an awkward situation? It was a miracle that him and Patrick were still okay after everything they had been through. And now here she was trying to stir the pot…

“You two clearly bring out like the best in each other. It’s crazy really if you think about it,” Alexis joins in.

David hates them both and wants nothing more than to yell at them for their keen attempts to sabotage him. David’s anger is cut by the sound of Patrick finally chiming in. “I actually just suddenly don’t feel very good. I’m just gonna…”, he stands up from the bed on wobbly legs. David reaches out to touch his back to make sure he doesn’t fall. Patrick pulls away from the contact and shoots for the bathroom on the other side of the room.

David feels instantaneously sober as he watches Patrick scurry into the bathroom and shut the door behind him. He sits, dumbfounded, on the corner of the bed, unsure of what to do. He turns to look at Stevie and Alexis, who both appear guilty and uncertain. 

“Was that our fault?”, Alexis says quietly.

“What do you think, Alexis?” David scolds, holding his head in his hands. “What are you guys thinking?”

Stevie looks astonishingly apologetic. “We were just trying to help.”

David ignores them both and walks over to the bathroom door. He knocks hesitantly. “Patrick?”

The lack of response makes David nauseous, feeling much worse than he has felt before. He senses Alexis and Stevie standing behind him.

“Maybe we should go…”, Stevie says as more of a question than a statement. Not responding, David just looks at them both with raised eyebrows.

Alexis presses her lips together. “Yup we are going. Come on Stevie. We can go hang out in my room.”

“Fun,” Stevie says clearly unenthused. They both shoot apologetic looks before exiting the room.

David sighs again and listens for any noises from the bathroom. He can’t make anything out and is starting to get worried. _God damn it._ He taps on the door lightly again. “Patrick. I’m coming in.”

\---

Patrick felt the anxiety slowly creeping upon him throughout the day. What had simply started with a little trouble breathing this morning now escalated into a full on panic attack. Patrick was not familiar with anxiety. He had always been pretty care-free in all aspects of his life. He didn’t even have a good idea of what the manifestation of anxiety and panic attacks looked like until he met David.

David. The only thing keeping him from floating out of his body right now. He hears him gently tapping at the door, clearly concerned for his well-being. He can’t see him this way. He knows if he was being logical right now he would remember that he had seen David in this state plenty of times before and never faulted him for it. Surely, David would do the same. But clearly his mind was not in the most coherent place at the moment.

“Patrick. I’m coming in.”

Fuck. He is suddenly keenly aware that he is sitting on the floor of the motel bathroom, leaning up against the wall with his head in his hands. His breathing is shallow and the bright lights are spinning around him. The realization only makes his chest tighten more.

“Patrick”, he hears again. He looks up and sees David looking down at him, shock and concern written all over his face. He is clearly confused and upset. David had never been good at hiding his emotions and that wasn’t about to change tonight.

Patrick wants to speak- to say anything to justify his current situation but nothing wants to come out. David quietly shuts the bathroom door so he can sink down next to Patrick, sitting side by side. He doesn’t touch him though and that makes him feel ever sicker.

“Hey.” He says it like the current scenario isn’t strange at all. It almost makes Patrick laugh. “I think the weed may be causing you to have some anxiety. It’s normal for that to happen. Have you ever had this happen before?”

Patrick feels like he is listening to him talk from so far away. He tries to concentrate to listen and even his blurry brain can pick out the way David is choosing his words carefully. He is able to shake his head no in response, still breathing shallowly and listening to the heart palpitations in his own ears.

“Okay. Well we will figure out what helps you. Is it okay if I touch you?”

It’s the only thing Patrick knows will help in this moment. He nods vigorously. He feels David’s hand close around his own clenched fist in his lap. His other hand wraps around Patrick’s back and gently rubs up and down. The contact makes Patrick realize how high his shoulders are hiked and he allows them to drop just slightly into David’s touch.

“Let’s try breathing together. Deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth.” Patrick follows the instructions and watches David’s chest rise and fall. He becomes hyper-aware of the movements of his own chest and feels light-headed. The sound of his heart only gets louder and faster. David must notice because he stops his own deep breaths. “For some people focusing on breathing actually makes it more stressful. Just relax. I’m going to distract you.”

If Patrick were lucid, he would probably make some flirtatious comment about David’s distraction techniques. But instead, he just leans his head back and listens to David start rambling. He can vaguely make out a plot to the conversation- something about Alexis in Costa Rica and how he had to save her from some drug lord. It’s definitely not the most relaxing story but it’s sprinkled with David’s sarcasm and obvious love for his sister.

“I mean she _was _skinny dipping in the cruise ship hot tub...”

Patrick smiles and realizes his eyes are still closed when David switches the conversation to a story about his own experience on a cruise. He slowly opens his heavy eyes to see David looking down at their attached hands, talking enthusiastically about the cruise director who definitely was trying to sleep with him. It takes a minute before David finally looks up to see Patrick’s open eyes.

“Oh. Hi. I don’t even know what I’m talking about anymore… should I keep going or should we try something else?”

“Well did you sleep with him?”, Patrick asks, finally finding his voice.

David grins. “He was far too enthusiastic. There was no way I could deal with that energy in bed.”

Patrick laughs slightly, feeling a little more like himself with every passing second. “Yeah right”, he mumbles playfully. He doesn’t say anything but keeps his head leaned back against the wall, staring at David. David relaxes back against the wall as well, clearly mentally exhausted as well. The hand on his back shifts to Patrick’s arm as he rubs the sleeve.

“I think you have been presented with the perfect embarrassing picture opportunity of me,” Patrick chuckles. His tense fingers are finally loosening out of their vice grip and the first thing he wants to do it relax them into David’s hand. He threads his fingers between David’s. 

David doesn’t laugh though. He just watches Patrick closely. “Not embarrassing. It happens to the best of us.”

Patrick nods. “Well what do you have to say about the location of my mental breakdown? A bathroom floor that surely has not been cleaned considering that’s Roland’s job.”

“I have to say I am a spectacular friend,” he jokes. Patrick definitely agrees with the sentiment nonetheless. “And you’re right. Definitely picture worthy.”

Patrick digs around in his pocket with his free hand and pulls out his phone. He holds the camera up at an angle, pressing his lips together and making an exasperated face before taking a picture. David just grips his arm tighter and leans in with a melancholic expression.

“Cheer up. I’m feeling much better now thanks to you,” Patrick remarks.

“I know but… I feel like this is my fault. I pressured you into smoking when you clearly didn’t want to. And then I had Stevie and Alexis here who are both just paranoia-inducing people in general and they were saying awkward things that might make you upset and--”.

“Hey, this is not your fault. If anything, I’m sorry for ruining tonight.”

“You didn’t ruin anything. We played lame drinking games in a motel room… I think it’s safe to say it was not the magical night I anticipated.”

“You thought tonight would be magical?”

David looks uncomfortable and leans back a bit. “Ignore me. My high brain is still catching up with my mouth.”

Patrick stretches out his legs and feels the muscles spasm with the change in position. He wonders how long they have been sitting here. It had felt like a few minutes but the pain in his extremities and the clarity in his brain makes him think otherwise. Still holding onto David’s hand, he pushes up off the ground and helps David rise to his feet as well.

They are both face to face, confined in the small space. Patrick is so grateful for this man in front of him. It crosses his mind that he’s not sure how he got this far in life without David by his side. Before he decides to just lean and kiss him, he opens the door and pulls him out into the bedroom.

“Oh they left huh? Well of course they did…god that’s awkward,” Patrick cringes.

David waves him off. “It’s really their fault anyways. They do not have the calming energy one would like while getting high… like me.”

Patrick laughs and nods, only to realize he doesn’t know what to do now. His mind is far too foggy to drive back home and he can feel the strange tension in the air with David. The energy radiates that of the night prior.

David shifts his weight back and forth on his heels, fidgeting at Patrick’s side. It gives him some comfort knowing David is clearly feeling some hesitation as well. They both stand in the middle of the room, linked hands at their sides. Thankfully, David breaks the tension. “After a stressful situation, watching one of my favorite movies or a good show always helps me.”

“You mean you’re going to let me pick what we watch?”

“Just this one time. And that doesn’t mean I won’t complain the entire time.”

Patrick walks over to the bed and reluctantly releases David’s hand so he can lie down. He props the pillow beneath him and turns to see David looking unsure.

“Well are you going to join me or no?” Ahh there was the unwarranted confidence he had been repressing all night. 

It must be what David needs to boost his own confidence because he crawls onto the bed and instantly holds onto Patrick’s hand. He turns the TV on and eventually lands on a late night football game. David wastes no time in commenting on the “ugly outfits” the players are wearing and his confusion over why anyone would support a team from a city they are not even from.

Mainly, Patrick just wants something mind-numbing to watch and an excuse to stay with David longer. As David continues to ramble, Patrick mentally hypes himself up to do exactly what his body is itching for. Patrick decides to make a move bolder than any football player is devising on screen, unable to bear the thought of not doing it for one more second. He reaches his arm over and wraps it around David’s middle and leans his head onto David’s chest.

David only falters for a second before he wraps his arm around Patrick’s back and continues on with his rant. Neither of them say anything about the position but Patrick notices David’s voice becomes a little breathier and his heart rate a little faster than normal in the chest on which he is lying upon.

Patrick could easily argue that basically lying on top of David in bed is normal for them. Was it really any different than all the hugging, hand-holding, and cuddling they usually participated in? Either way, no amount of doubt could tear him from this position now. Patrick realizes he’s never felt this way before- small. He can’t recall a time since childhood when someone held him like this. He feels warm and safe. Exhausted and comfortable, he let’s his eyes slip closed and his hands wander.

\---

David is not sure if his high heart rate is secondary to the weed or to the beautiful man lying on his chest. Definitely both and mainly the latter, he figures. He forces his body to relax, trying to enjoy this moment he may never get again.

He strokes Patrick’s shoulder and arm, feeling Patrick’s tension slowly dissipate. He had been so scared finding Patrick in the state he had. He had never seen him look so frightened or so…not like Patrick. And although it had all been fine in the end, he couldn’t help but think he was the cause of this induced stress.

He is deep in his thoughts when he feels Patrick slowly drawing circles on his chest with his fingers. The action seems mindless and innocent but it makes David want to pull Patrick up to his face so he can press him into the sheets and kiss him. David shuts his eyes tight but it only heightens the sensation of Patrick’s body on top on him and the images crossing the back of his eyelids of what it would be like fully pressed under his weight.

In order to stop his racing mind, David reaches down and holds Patrick’s hand in his own to still the motions. Patrick doesn’t seem to mind for he just grips back and laces their fingers together, keeping their linked hands on top of David’s shakily rising and falling chest. David is so fucking fond of this man. He grips his side tighter and pulls him further onto his torso.

Patrick makes a content sound and presses his face even firmer into David’s body. David feels like he is on fire and every nerve ending in his body is ready to explode. He thinks about how easy it would be just to place a kiss on top of Patrick’s head. Or tug slightly at the back of his hair, causing him to look up at David. They would be right there. He could kiss him.

He tries to keep his body still, trying to remember all the reasons why this is a bad idea. All of them seem stupid right now. The only thing keeping him from giving in is reminders of the evening behind them. Patrick wasn’t exactly in the best place tonight. He had been interrogated by Stevie and Alexis, suffered through one of his first panic attacks, and experienced another bad weed endeavor. David couldn’t take advantage of that.

Still torn between the battle in his brain, David finally notices that Patrick’s motions have stilled and his chest seems to be rising and falling at a steady pace. “Patrick?”, he whispers quietly.

Patrick doesn’t respond except with the light noise of a snore. David smiles to himself and looks down at the sleeping man on his chest. He slowly reaches for his phone on the bedside table and snaps a picture. David admires his victory picture of Patrick scrunched up and looking adorable. He sends the image to Patrick’s phone with the added caption ‘Got one!’. Patrick’s phone buzzes on the opposite bedside table and David feels excited to see his reaction tomorrow.

It is already nearly one in the morning. David contemplates what the best course of action is. Should he wake Patrick up and send him home? No, he was probably not in the best place to drive right now. He could sneak out of the room back to his own bedroom and let Patrick sleep here. But… he didn’t really want that either.

David decides the only way to allow Patrick the best night’s sleep after this hot mess of an evening is to let him sleep exactly where he is now. Coincidentally, this meant that David had no choice but to stay pressed under Patrick’s body for the remainder of the night.

Trying to minimize his movements, David slowly turns off the TV and reaches for the bedside light. He throws the room into darkness and waits for a stir from Patrick. He doesn’t move so David reaches for the blanket he had been wrapped in earlier during the game. He gently places it over both of them, the small blanket looking ridiculously tiny on top of the two grown men.

With Patrick still lightly snoring on top of him, David pulls him closer if that is even possible; it still doesn’t feel close enough. He places his hand on Patrick’s once again, rubbing his index finger along the top of Patrick’s hand. Needing some kind of relief from the pressure and desire building in his spinning head, David leans in just slightly to place his lips on top of Patrick’s forehead. He had never performed the simple, innocent motion on anyone. His heart flutters in his chest and he wonders if Patrick can feel it. Maybe tomorrow he’ll be brave enough to do something else he has never done before- tell Patrick how he feels. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David and Patrick wake up, literally and figuratively. Loosely takes place during S4 E5 RIP Moira Rose.

Eyes still closed to the world, Patrick’s first sensation to awaken is his touch. He feels a light blanket wrapped around his middle and an even warmer essence clinging to his upper body. Almost his entire frame is pressed against the heat source. Patrick sleepily notes that he feels at home in the comfortable warmth.

The next sensation to stir from slumber is his motor movements. His hand grips at the fabric beneath his fingers, tightening his knuckle into a fist. The material is unfamiliar to his foggy brain; he plays with it underneath his fingers, rubbing it between his thumb and index. Motion slowly travels up his body and Patrick stretches his elbow and shoulder. He is surprised to find his action is stopped by a solid force in front of him and around him.

Slow awakening abandoned, Patrick’s eyes shoot open. His vision adjusts to the light and the view in front of him. He can’t help but gasp a little, his breathing instantly quickened. Patrick’s searching arms have found exactly what he had dreamed of waking up with for so long.

Patrick is still curled up on David’s chest, somehow closer together than they had been last night. His head is tucked into David’s neck and his hand is lying flat against David’s broad chest. David’s arms are both wrapped around him and Patrick wonders how David could possibly be comfortable with his arm pressed under Patrick’s weight. He can’t help but feel fond over the thought that David may have sacrificed easy sleep for the sake of Patrick’s rest. David’s other hand is loosely fallen near Patrick’s hip, his fingers just barely touching his pants at the junction between his thigh and stomach.

Patrick racks his brain to remember the night prior. Everything feels a little cloudy, his memory failing him. He cringes as he recalls his weed-induced paranoia but pushes down his self-deprecation with the memory of David’s kindness and empathy. He can’t recall when he fell asleep but he does know he experienced the best night’s rest he has had in a while. Patrick is not sure if it is due to the weed or the man he is sharing the bed with. 

Stretching his foot, Patrick now realizes that his leg is tossed over-top of David’s hip and legs. The realization causes his body to react, a very different arousal awakening. A small surge of panic flows through Patrick knowing David could wake at any minute and throw him off his body in contempt. Trying to keep his movements slow, Patrick gently lifts his head to look at David’s sleeping face above him. He inches his body up slightly so he can rest his head on the pillow above him. A pillow has never felt so uncomfortable in his entire life.

He stares at the sleeping man next to him, willing himself to pull his hand off his chest and detach the vice grip his legs have on David. But Patrick continues to look on in awe. His heart swells as David’s smoothed features lie still, for once not looking away under Patrick’s gaze or making some sneering expression to deter the apparent emotions they both are feeling. David’s chest rises and falls beneath his palm. He lightly strokes the spot where David’s heart is, contemplating how they arrived at this exact moment.

This journey with David felt like a roller-coaster. The highs, the lows, the churning in his stomach. Patrick never thought his life was boring until he met David Rose. But now, Patrick can clearly see that he has experienced more excitement and emotions in his life during this short time of knowing David then he ever had in all his years previous.

Patrick is so deep in thought that he doesn’t realize David has slowly started to awaken, his heart rate increasing under his palm and the breaths against his face becoming more shallow. Patrick is staring straight at David as he opens his eyes. David does not say a word. He stares right back, his eyes shifting back and forth between Patrick’s, searching for something.

He knows he should say something. Anything. Snuggling and admiring your best friend in his sleep isn’t normal, right? There is only so much he can justify that business partners do. Patrick knows this isn’t one of them. He should really just speak. Make a sarcastic comment about David’s snoring or reminiscence about the disaster of the evening before. But all he can think about is how beautiful David looks with the small amount of light streaming in from behind the closed motel curtains and all of the times before he didn’t take the opportunities sitting- or rather, laying- right in front of him.

It is in this moment Patrick realizes that David is not saying a word either. The absence of sound speaks volumes to Patrick, knowing how much David hates “awkward silences” and “unnecessary quiet”. It awakens something in Patrick- a voice acknowledging that David is giving him the same look he gave him on that birthday night in the car so long ago. Patrick is not going to let that moment pass again.

Trembling with anticipation and nerves, Patrick brings the hand once resting on David’s chest up to cradle David’s neck. David’s breath hitches and he breaks their eye contact for the first time since waking up, his eyelids fluttering shut to hide from the passionate look Patrick is giving him. Patrick swipes his thumb up and down over David’s neck, willing him to open his eyes once again.

When he finally does, David brings his own shaky hand hesitantly up to Patrick’s waist. He copies Patrick's movements and strokes up and down, seemingly to calm both their nerves. And then slides the hand up to rest on Patrick’s shoulder. David’s lips are parted and his eyes dance back and forth between Patrick’s, looking for an answer to a question so weighted and suspended. Patrick knows his response. He wants this feeling too.

All it takes is the flicker of eyes down to Patrick’s lips and a minuscule tug at his shoulder to bring him closer. It is all the confidence Patrick needs to let his own eyes fall shut and close the distance between them.

For a second, the world is even more quiet than it was minutes ago. Neither of them seem to respond, brains still catching up with the actions their bodies are pulling them towards. But then David is responding and leaning closer and pulling more at Patrick’s shoulder.

Patrick’s lips are pressed softly against David’s, moving only slightly with pressure. He can’t believe he is here. He can’t believe this is happening. David’s lips are soft and hesitant to respond. Patrick is hyper-aware of his own morning stubble brushing against David’s, the feeling causing him to pull David’s head closer so he can feel it even more.

The kiss can’t have lasted more than ten seconds but it feels like a lifetime when they both pull away, eyes shut and noses still touching. Patrick brings his head back slightly, just far enough that he can open his eyes again to look at David. He is scared he will see regret or anger on David’s facial expressions. But instead, David has a small smile that he seems to be trying hard to repress. Patrick’s questioning mouth turns upward into a full blown grin and he lets a small sound of relief and joy fall off his lips.

Happiness bursting out of him, he dips back down again to bring his still smiling mouth to David’s. David’s upturned lips are pressed against his. It should be awkward, Patrick realizes. They’re really not even kissing, just pressing their two smiling faces together. But the thought only makes Patrick smile more as he gives kiss after kiss to David’s blissful lips.

David takes the opportunity to explore Patrick’s open mouth by slipping his tongue timidly past Patrick’s lips. An inadvertent groan reverberates from Patrick’s throat and he pulls David impossibly closer. The two are no longer smiling, clanking teeth now replaced with exploratory tongues and desperate hands.

Patrick’s hand tangles in David’s hair, pulling slightly just so he can hear the gasp escape David’s lip and filter into his own. David’s hand grabs at Patrick’s waist, gripping at the skin now exposed below Patrick’s raised shirt. The comfortable warmth he had woken up to this morning is now a full-blown fire, unbearable and uncontrollable heat.

In one smooth movement, David uses the grip on Patrick’s hip to switch their positions, bringing Patrick to practically lie underneath him. Somehow their lips never break, Patrick still exploring David’s mouth with vigor. David’s hand seems to be itching to move further up Patrick’s exposed skin, locking his fist in place to keep it from wandering. Patrick is not having any of that. He brings down the hand on David’s neck and places it over David’s, sliding it up his chest, begging him to touch more.

David complies with vigor, stroking the skin he had been desiring to feel for so long. Patrick can’t help but moan, his back arching off the bed into the touch and causing him to break away slightly from the breathless kiss. David takes the opportunity to attack Patrick’s neck, sucking at the skin there.

In the heat of it all, Patrick realizes he has never been so turned on in his entire life. Every nerve ending in his body is tingling and his heart is beating rapidly in his ears. The weight pressing down against him is so deliciously wonderful. Everything is solid in this moment and it grounds him. Everything about David feels concrete- his broad shoulders, his large arms holding his body, his hard cock pressed solidly against him. Patrick feels dizzy with desire.

Patrick is understanding for the first time what it means to lose control as he opens his legs to allow David’s thigh to fall between his own. The friction is so addicting and Patrick can’t stop himself from grinding into the touch, needing more than what he is getting. He knows he is getting lost in the moment, now far removed from the tenderness they shared earlier. But Patrick can’t find it in himself to stop.

He angles himself against David’s leg, allowing his own arousal some relief with the movement. The combination of the friction and David’s incessant tongue against his neck causes him to breath, or rather moan, out an involuntary “David”. Patrick is surprised by how whiny he sounds and is a little taken aback by his own voice.

The sound of David’s own name seems to bring him back down to earth as well. His movements still and he stops his wandering hands and mouth. It occurs to Patrick that this is the first word either of them have spoken all morning and it makes him realize exactly what they are doing.

David takes some deep breaths, removing his hands from underneath Patrick’s shirt and begrudgingly lifting his head from its current position. He gently removes his leg from Patrick’s clutch and falls back onto the pillow.

Patrick is scared of David’s response. He is afraid to even raise his head, worried he has made a fool of himself. But this is David. His business partner and best friend. David who likes fashion and 2000s romcoms and 90s music. David who is scared of love. Patrick shifts his own body so he is lying on his side, staring at David. He is looking straight up at the ceiling and holding his hands close to his chest, trying to catch his labored breaths. 

Patrick doesn’t hesitate to reach out and grab the hand closest to him. David flinches slightly but allows Patrick to envelop his hand within his own. He looks scared and unsure in a way Patrick has not seen before.

“David,” Patrick once again speaks the only word he has said today. He is okay with that revelation and will gladly say David’s name over and over again if it is anything like the first time it was taken from his mouth this morning. David turns on his side so he is facing Patrick, his eyes meeting Patrick’s questioning but happy gaze.

“I’m sorry” are unfortunately David’s countering first words of the day- two words that vastly contrast Patrick’s feelings and have no place in this situation at all.

Patrick can’t even form a response, confused as to what he is even referring to. He raises his eyebrows in reaction, once again saying the only word that can form on his tongue today, only this time it comes out as a question. “David?”

“That was…”, David falters for words.

A blast of fire works. An eruption of butterflies. A poetic symphony. All those words Patrick never realized could actually be descriptors for feelings. Patrick settles on a word that is safe right now. “Incredible,” Patrick says with the smile he can’t seem to wipe off his face.

“We shouldn’t have…”, David mumbles, still unable to form a sentence. He murmurs something about ‘business’ and ‘friendship’. But Patrick doesn’t hear it because his head is already buzzing, thinking of any way to stop David’s worrisome, magnificent brain from over-thinking this.

Patrick leans forward again and kisses the side of David’s mouth, quieting him instantly. “Shh shut up,” Patrick whispers against David’s stunned lips.

David finally smiles again, the same one that graced his lips when they had been firmly pressed to Patrick’s. He down-casts his eyes in embarrassment, clearly unsure of what to say or do. Patrick takes it upon himself to lead the situation, reaching up to cradle David’s cheek in his hand. Patrick is surprised by his own boldness and lack of fear. David makes him feel brave.

David leans into the touch. “Um thank you…”.

“Mmm for what?”, Patrick teases him while still stroking David’s face, playing with the small bit of hair coming through the skin.

“Well I know that you’ve never done that before…with a guy. And I was scared that meant I would never get to do that…with you. So uh thank you for making that happen for us.” David anxiously fiddles his free hand on the blanket, tightening and loosening his grip on the fabric.

Patrick doesn’t know how to respond to that. It only makes him want to kiss David again. Remembering he can, he leans forward and softly presses his lips to David who kisses back hesitantly. The short kiss is interrupted by David’s phone beeping incessantly on the nightstand beside him. David ignores the first few messages but eventually signs deeply, and pulls himself into a sitting position with a groan.

David glimpses over the messages, rolling his eyes as he does so. “It’s Alexis”, he says with annoyance in his voice.

“She miss you last night?”

David snorts. “Clearly.” He takes on his best Alexis voice to read the messages from his phone. “Where are you David? Um hello are you alive? How is button doing? Mom is dead. Oh wait never mind I checked and she is actually alive. You must be very preoccupied if you didn’t even know about your own mother’s death. Wonder what’s keeping you SO busy, David.”

“Button?… Is your mom okay?” Patrick has a lot of questions but David is still ranting, reading all of Alexis’ texts.

“Can I come with you for the buying trip today?,” he says in her voice and then quickly changes back to his own voice. “Oh fuck. I forgot I’m supposed to go sample the Warner Farm’s cheese today.” Before Patrick can say anything more, David is ripping the covers back and jumping out of the bed. Patrick sits up in bed, watching David quickly bustle around the room as he tries to process this dream of a morning.

“David”, Patrick states simply but is ignored due to David’s panicked need to find his shoe. “David” he states a few more times before he finally snaps out of his panic to look at Patrick. Patrick raises an eyebrow in his direction and pats the spot next to him on the bed. David reluctantly nods his head and takes a deep breath before sitting on the edge of the bed with Patrick.

“You know we’ll have to talk about this right?”, Patrick states pragmatically, knowing it to be the truth. “I can tell you are uncertain about all of this.”

“I’m not…uncertain.”

“Do you regret it?”

“God no.” David reaches for Patrick’s hand to prove a point. “I’ve just got a lot of feelings right now that I am not familiar with. And I think I just need some time and space to process everything.”

That hurts a little but Patrick isn’t going to let it show. “I know, David. Just remember we promised each other we would always communicate our feelings.”

David groans in response and bounces his leg up and down. Automatically, Patrick reaches out to stop his leg and massage David’s thigh into stillness.

“Please,” Patrick begs but he is not entirely sure what for.

Patrick can still feel the hesitation thick in the air and see David’s stress in the crease of his eyebrow. Nonetheless, David nods his head. “I know. But I do have to go do this. It’s a big vendor for us and I think it will be good for me to like reflect on this whole situation.”

Patrick isn’t convinced but he knows it’s the best he will get right now. “Can we talk soon?”

David smiles shyly. “Yes we can talk whenever you would like… but after I go get this deal for us.”

“Okay.” He squeezes David’s hand one more time before letting it go. David squeezes back and flashes an apologetic look. He stands up from the bed and starts walking to the door but hesitates before opening the threshold.

In an instant, he turns back around and marches over to Patrick, grabbing his face between both his hands and bending down to meet his lips with Patrick’s open, surprised mouth. It’s quick and messy and unprecedented. Before Patrick really has a grasp on the situation, David pulls away and steps back. “Just in case you decide this was a mistake.”

“Never,” he says with no hesitation. He knows it’s what David needs to hear right now. David presses his lips together to hold back a smile and quickly exits the door.

Once he is gone, Patrick sighs with satisfaction and frustration as he falls back onto the pillow. He grabs for his phone and sees the waiting text message from David from the night previous. The photo of him squished on to David’s chest makes his own tighten. He allows himself just a few more minutes to bathe in this feeling before he inevitably has to get up to open the store. Patrick buries himself into the smell of David, contemplating how to prove his dedication to someone who is terrified of trust. 

\---

“So you and Patrick are just laying in bed together this morning and he just leaned in and kissed you?”, Alexis asks for the hundredth time. They are currently sat in the car on the way to test a new collection of peanut butter snacks to which Alexis insisted on tagging along.

“Okay what part of this conversation don’t you understand?”, David questions.

“And he wanted that?”

“Judging by the fact that he kissed me, I would say yes.”

“And _you_ wanted that?”

“I… you know how I feel about him.”

“Mmm exactly, David. Which is why I am confused about this indecisive aura you are projecting right now.”

David stays quiet, deep in his own thoughts. He is confused about his own reaction as well, unsure how to even start picking apart his guarded brain. Patrick kissed him. Patrick desired to kiss him. Patrick asked him to say. Patrick wanted to talk about it. David can’t comprehend how any of that is possible.

Alexis presses on. “Do you think he doesn’t actually want this or something? Especially after he kinda like freaked out when me and Stevie were hinting at you two being together? Or maybe he is just doing it because we pressured him? OR maybe it’s like all a ploy to take over the business?”

Reeling, David peels his eyes off the road to look at her in shock. “Well I wasn’t thinking any of that until now!”

Alexis presses her lips together and makes a popping noise. “Oops. I mean that is definitely not what’s happening at all.”

He is now back to square one in his circling thoughts, mulling over every reason why Patrick would not want to be with him. Patrick knows how broken he is. Anyone else would run (and has run before) from a relationship with David given all the details of his emotional apprehension and tragic dating history.

“I guess I just don’t think it’s possible. Why would he want all of this?” David takes his hand off the steering wheel to wave his hand around his own body. “I am damaged goods.” He doesn’t look over at his sister, too afraid to see her reaction to his honesty and self-deprecation. He had always put up a front when it came to Alexis, never letting her see how unhappy he truly was. Although a part of him knew she was aware of his past issues, they pretended his narcissism wasn’t a coping mechanism for his own self-hatred.

He carries on, eyes still glued to the road ahead. “He could have done something at any point really. I mean… he let me believe he wasn’t interested for so long.” David pictures Patrick’s face turning away from him in the driver’s seat of the car the night of his birthday. The thought still stings, the ache hurting a little more every time the image comes to mind.

“Maybe he’s just been working up the courage to act on those feelings”, Alexis says hopefully. “Rachel McAdams always told me that you will know if it’s meant to be just based on the first kiss. Did it feel forced? Or was it like easy?”

David considers the question but already knows the answer. The moment had come effortlessly and despite the nerves, he had felt incredibly composed. David had never fallen into something or someone so easily in his entire life. Despite the rocky beginnings, David’s relationship with Patrick had always felt like it was on an upward trajectory in the best way possible- a roller-coaster ride with all of the thrill and the fear and the joy. Not once did their friendship feel forced. The hand-holding, the hugging, the conversations, the texts and the banter came naturally, progressing one day after the next on this uphill climb. They were always heading for the fall.

“Easy.”

“I’ve seen how he looks at you, David. We all have. Weren’t you wondering why Stevie and I were trying to push you two together anyways? Clearly we see something that your worried mind can not see.” David wants to fight her but she continues on. “Patrick sees you. Like…actually sees you. And you are much more tolerable of a person when you are around him. And I think its obvious to everyone that you two are meant to be more than just business partners. And more than just friends. If you don’t give this a try, you might regret it for the rest of your life.”

David does not want to accept that Alexis could possibly be right about something. He is also surprised by the sweetness and consideration of her words- a rarity coming from his sister. “All I know is that Patrick is a sweet little button-face so don’t mess this up, David.” _Ah there it is. _

David is forced to put his emotional vulnerability on the back-burner for the remainder of the day as he meets with clients. He finds himself occasionally drifting off, his mind lingering on that wonderful kiss; Patrick’s lips had felt so damn good and he could definitely get used to waking up with Patrick lying on top of him. But then Alexis says something incredibly off-base and he gets pulled right back into business mode.

The only contact he receives from Patrick all day is a text.

_From Patrick: _

_I know you wanted some space to think but I had to tell you that kissing you is one of the best things I’ve ever experienced. And that I would very much like to do it again if you want that. We can talk whenever you like._

David didn’t respond at the time but couldn’t help the smile that broke his lips and the warming sensation that radiated through his body. He promised himself to get through the day and then he would deal with his personal life. 

The day actually ends up being a good one for both his business and his relationship with Alexis. After seeing Ted with Heather, Alexis admits to her own current disaster of a love life. It turns out he has a lot more in common with his sister than David would have guessed.

When they finally return home, exhausted and full on cheese, Alexis insists on giving David a hug. “I can tell you need one,” she says, as she wraps her arms around him. He rolls his eyes and pretends to hate it but truly feels grateful for her support.

After eating a sufficient amount of the gift basket foods while enduring an extended conversation with the family about his mother’s fake death and Cuppy the kitten, David excuses himself to be alone in his room.

Staring at his phone, David sighs deeply and finally texts Patrick back.

** **To Patrick: ** **

** **Can we talk?** **

The response is almost immediate and it makes David’s heart hurt that he made Patrick wait this long.

_Of course _

He knows Patrick is giving him the choice on how he wants to speak. David is not usually one for phone calls, finding them far too personal for his liking. But in this situation, he can’t imagine not hearing Patrick’s voice calming him down off of his own created ledge.

“Hello,” Patrick says quietly after the first ring.

“Hey,” David says. He immediately doesn’t know what to say or how to even start this conversation. Thank god Patrick apparently does.

“How did the buying trip go today? Any luck with the Warner farm?”_Easing ourselves into this I see,_ David notes.

“It was…great actually. We secured the exclusivity deal.”

“Wow. That is impressive, David,” Patrick says with genuine awe.

David blushes and deflects as quickly as possible. “Um actually you will have to thank Alexis for this one, shockingly. She uh really helped out today.”

“Oh well good. I will definitely thank her.”

The phone line is quiet again. David hates quiet.

“So…”, Patrick says. “Do you want to talk about this?”

“Talk about what? I have no idea what you’re referring to?”

“Obviously referring to the blue cheese. Now do we actually think moldy cheese is the right direction for the store?”

David smiles and allows himself to lay down on the bed and get comfortable. “If its not brie, it’s not for me.”

“Let’s not pretend I haven’t seen you eat every type of cheese known to mankind.”

David grumbles in response. “I’ve eaten blue cheese _less_. But surprisingly it was not completely terrible on the salad. But you know what was terrible? TED was there.”

“What? Ted like Alexis’ Ted?”

“Mhmm it was so awkward and he just kept making food puns which was incredibly unnerving.”

“Ted is always up to no gouda,” Patrick says smoothly.

Spluttering, David chokes. “...I hate you. Never do that again.” Patrick chuckles through the phone and David can’t help but smile and relax. It’s just Patrick. “So um actually it all ended up working out despite the awkwardness. I would say this has been one of my more eventful days in Schitt’s Creek.”

“Mmm oh really?”, Patrick says clearly catching onto the conversational tempo change but not letting on.

“Yes. For one, I felt very successful in my business accomplishments. And two, I had some good conversations with Alexis who is actually not always a terrible human being. And three…”, David pauses, not knowing how to word all of the feelings bubbling up within him. “I had this… wonderful kiss with the guy I really like.”

“That was number three on the list, huh?”

“Shut up”, David murmurs.

“...But?”, Patrick encourages him to carry on.

“But… this is all new for me.”

“Me too.”

“Aren’t you…scared?”

There is a long pause and then Patrick responds. “I am… nervous, sure. But I’m not scared of you David. Or how I feel about you. Nothing has changed. You’re still David, my best friend who loves clothing and hates compromise and reacts to all of my smart-ass comments with even snarkier responses.”

David lets out a shaky breath. He doesn’t know why he wants to convince Patrick that he shouldn’t want him. But his coping mechanisms are working on auto-pilot. “I don’t trust people. That is my comfort zone.”

“You can trust me, David.”

Everything in his being is telling him it’s a lie. But he knows Patrick. This is the same man who held his hand on a death-trap Ferris wheel. And who talked to him about love. And who stayed up during the night to make sure he was okay after an allergic reaction. Shouldn’t he be able to trust him?

He doesn’t realize he hasn’t responded until Patrick chimes back in. “I’ll do anything to prove that to you, David. Let’s play 20 questions again. You can ask me anything and it can be as many questions as you want.”

“Kinda defeats the purpose of the game,” he mumbles. Still, it feels real. “Okay fine. Tell me why you kissed me this morning?”

“Because… I couldn’t imagine not knowing how your lips felt for one more second of my life. I’ve wanted to do that since the moment I met you.”

David is thankful for the distance between them because the blush on his cheeks is bright pink. “And… how did you feel about said kiss?”

With no hesitation, Patrick answers, “Best kiss I’ve ever had. Everything I wanted and more. Hit it right out of the park.”

“I don’t know what that means.”

Patrick breathes out through his nose with a half-laugh filled with fondness. Patrick takes a few more seconds to respond but when he does, he sounds vulnerable. “When you kissed me, that felt like my first time. All those things you’re supposed to feel… I felt them this morning.”

The line goes quiet again but this time it emanates calmness and reassurance. David fills the emptiness with words he has been thinking since this morning. “You are a very good kisser, Patrick Brewer.”

Relived by the shift in focus from his own vulnerability, Patrick praises, “You’re not so bad yourself.”

“Let’s do it again sometime.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

The other side of the phone is quiet again, for long enough that David thinks maybe Patrick has fallen asleep. Then Patrick whispers again. “I will do anything to earn you trust, David.”

It causes David’s heart to swell and he wishes more than anything that Patrick were lying on his chest tonight once again. Pushing the feeling down, David teases gleefully, “Anything?”

“Anything.”

“How about creating a beautiful scene like in the Downton Abbey Christmas Special?”

“I don’t think I could live up to such expectations.”

“You’re right. Maybe like a nice array of baked goods would be more reasonable?”

“Hmm I was thinking more along the lines of some dramatic display of affection of my feelings for you?”

“Oh dear god no”.

“Maybe like a demonstration of my spoken word poetry with you being the subject of my musing.”

“Please never…”

“Oh even better. A serenade on my guitar and singing to you in front of a crowd.”

“Okay if you do that, I will actually never talk to you again” David says threateningly.

Patrick chuckles, relishing in the return of their easy banter. But David isn’t quite ready to relax yet. Feeling temporarily okay with the vulnerability, David sneaks out one more worry. “Is it okay if we take things um slow? I just… have never had anything like this before. Like that I actually care about. A person I care about. And respect. And think is…nice? And uh I just feel like I need to go at a leisurely pace when it comes to the emotional baggage and my past and everything and um…”, he rambles but stops dead because he has no idea what else to say.

“Anything. This is new to me. Actually, in a way, we are both starting something new.”

David hums in agreement and sinks down into his sheets, a wave of relief and tiredness hitting him all at once. He yawns into the speaker.

“Should I let you go so you can sleep?”

“Actually could you stay on the phone with me for a while longer?” He feels stupid the second he asks it and chastises his neediness. But Patrick doesn’t seem to mind as he whispers “of course” and then makes some noises which sound like him getting into bed.

He allows his eyes to drift closed and listen to Patrick’s steady breathing on the other line, remembering how it felt to synchronize that breathing with his own as he fell asleep the night previous. It is becoming a bit of a routine for them to fall asleep with one another- a routine David is willing to add to his own.

When Patrick says David’s name a few minutes later, he stays quiet, too tired to open his mouth. He drifts to sleep hearing Patrick softly humming a slow familiar tune. David supposes he can deal with a singing serenade just for tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was that the slowest build-up to a kiss ever?? I wanted the moment to reflect their story so far- tense and slow and unsure. I debated for so long how this kiss would happen. I always thought it would end with open mic night with a kiss after Patrick’s serenade. But it felt too similar to the show and I wanted to present a universe that was different from the one we’ve seen- one where David is the person who needs to take things slow and a moment filled with a bit more tension. Hopefully I made the right choice and you guys are happy with it. I’m super nervous about this chapter after all the build up. I really hope you like it.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick and David finally go on their first date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After all of the angst and the build-up, here is a chapter filled with some good ole fashion fluff. Enjoy! And thank you for your continual support. I know my postings have been sporadic so I appreciate anyone who sticks around despite it. Please let me know if there is anything you would like to see in this universe of David and Patrick before I finish up this story!

The sun rises early but it is not what awakens Patrick; in fact, Patrick has been awake for quite some time now. Despite the lack of sleep, he still opens his eyes to the world with a smile on his face and a feeling of unrelenting giddiness.

He kissed David. Multiple times. Patrick brings a hand up to his lips to touch the place where David had generated sparks. Fingers pressed to his smiling mouth, Patrick feels like a character in one of David’s favorite cheesy romcom’s.

Patrick never thought he would be happy to go to work so early. But here he is- organizing merchandise, smiling, and peaking over at the door every few seconds just so he can see David walk through it. It all feels like a dream and he’s not sure how to handle it. After all the months of agonizing torture and pent-up desire, he had finally acted on his feelings towards David. Patrick had been concerned that this moment would lead to his own mental spiraling. But in reality, he felt like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. Now he was determined to hold on to this feeling and not mess everything up.

When David shuffles into Rose Apothecary, he wears a quiet smile and tiptoes like he might break whatever they had created between them. And Patrick is not having any of that. He places the candle in his hand down on the shelf and walks confidently over to David. He is not sure what he wants to do- actually, he is very sure of what he wants to do but not at all sure what he should do.

He decides to do the one thing he knows is always safe for them and grabs David by his hand. Patrick sways the conjoined hands between their uncertain bodies and David seems to outwardly relax. “Good morning”, Patrick states simply. He doesn’t attempt to do any more than rub his thumb over David’s hand, afraid as well that he might break this fragile thing between them.

Trying to hold back the smile clearly breaking past his lips, David stands with his hand still in Patrick’s and his head slightly downcast. “Someone’s been busy.”

“Oh yeah couldn’t sleep. Had a lot of stuff to think about yesterday.”

Squishing his face up, David cringes. “Regrets?”

“What? No? Why would I have regrets?” Patrick holds David’s hand tighter, matching the own tightening in his chest.

“I guess it’s just a habit to ask.”

“No. No regrets. Actually the thing really keeping me awake last night was trying to decide where to take you on our first date.”

“Our first date?” David sounds apprehensive and confused. Patrick remains calm, refusing to panic and opting for the typical teasing they always seem to fall into. 

“I know we have _so many _romantic options around here so I’m really just stuck narrowing it all down.”

Smirking, David pulls away to walk around the counter. “Ah right. How does one choose between the world-renowned restaurant, a 5 star motel, and Ray’s bourgeois enterprise/house?”

The banter is familiar and almost makes up for the fact that David is no longer holding his hand. He walks towards the counter and leans on his elbow as he continues the conversation. “Exactly my dilemma. So I’m thinking we have to do something even more adventurous.”

Pausing his actions, David looks up. “Okay I thought we were joking so now I’m scared.”

“No reason to be scared but I do think I’ll leave this one as a surprise.”

David looks appalled. “ A surprise? But…you know I hate surprises.”

“Mhmm”, Patrick hums.

“How will I know what outfit to wear?”

“I can help you.”

“Patrick, I thought we agreed that I make the creative decisions in the relationship.”

“Good to know that carries over to our relationship outside of the business,” Patrick affirms. “Would you trust Stevie if I told her and then she helped you?”

“Trust Stevie? Now this is sounding like some kind of sick practical joke.”

Patrick reaches back across the counter to grab David’s forearm, keeping him locked in place. “I promise it will be fun.”

“See when you say ‘fun’ that frightens me a bit.”

He is still holding on to David and staring at his beautifully concerned and amused face. “What adjective would you prefer me to use while describing our date?”

“Probably like grand. Or romantic. Food or drink centric. _Not_ disappointing and a complete disaster.”

“Hmmm well there may be food and drinks. And I might be able to pull off romantic but I’m not too sure about the other ones.”

“Well if it is disappointing and a complete disaster, it will be just like all my other first dates.”

The last thing Patrick wants is to be lumped in with David’s other first dates. This is different. And he is determined to show him that. “Tell you what. At the end of our _incredible_ date, you tell me the adjectives you would use to describe it. And if any of those words are negative, you can organize the dates from now on.”

“Bold of you to assume you will want to go on another date with me after the first one.”

“I prefer brave. I’ll even take heroic.”

David turns around and walks purposefully to the back room, feigning his lack of amusement but really just wanting to hide the smile he can’t seem to suppress.

Patrick yells after him through his laughter. “I’ll pick you up at six!”

\---

The person staring back at David in the mirror does not look like him. Well, he looks very fashionable and generally annoyed so that hasn’t changed. But this version of David can’t wipe the stupid smile off his face and he looks shockingly genuinely happy. It isn’t something David is used to seeing in himself.

David thought he would be in a full blown panic by now considering the lack of kissing and general acknowledgement of this new stage in their relationship today; however, the feeling of familiarity and lack of pressure actually felt like a breath of fresh air. And a first date seemed like an even more perfect way to explore these new boundaries with Patrick.

After a million questions about the planned date (most of which Patrick refused to answer), David gathered that he should wear clothing appropriate for the cool nighttime air. That alone scared him but only in the ‘I don’t want Patrick to see my teeth chattering’ kind of way.

At 5:59 PM, a knock on the motel door pulls David away from the mirror where he had been fixing his hair for far too long. Stomach swooping, David opens the door to see Patrick standing at the door wearing jeans, a collared black dress shirt, and a heavy black coat.

David is not used to seeing Patrick in black and it makes his heart stop just for a second. He can’t help but comment on it. “Remind me why you always tease me for wearing black when you look so handsome in it?” David has a moment of panic for his abruptness until he remembers that he is about to go on a _date_ with Patrick.

Patrick just grins as he stands in the doorway, clearly amused with David’s awkwardness. “I thought a matching couple’s outfit would get me some extra date points.” He references to David in front of him who is wearing an all black ensemble with the black leather jacket that always made him feel confident.

Scoffing, David grabs his stuff from the bed. “We are NOT doing matching couple’s outfits.”

“Well I definitely do not pull the look off like you do. Which I probably should have lead with. Um you look very handsome,” Patrick says sheepishly. “I have a feeling I’m already failing this whole date thing.”

David looks up from his current search to find a scarf upon hearing the hesitation and insecurity in Patrick’s voice. He realizes it is the first time he has heard Patrick show any signs of nervousness since the start of…well whatever this is. David had been so caught up in his own insecurities and reluctance, he had taken Patrick’s confidence for-granted.

He swings the scarf over his neck and steps into Patrick’s space, grabbing a hold of Patrick’s hand. “Thank you. You are doing great so far,” David affirms, squeezing his hand in assurance. 

Patrick drops his gaze shyly and nods. “Okay um yeah thanks. If I’m being honest, I am not sure how gay dates differ from straight dates.”

David can’t help but chuckle at how adorable Patrick is. “I would say just like a lot more fun. And cool. And probably more enjoyable than a straight date if you are indeed gay.” He pulls them both out the threshold of the door and closes it behind them.

Patrick nods and tries not to over-think it as they walk to the car. In a chivalrous act, Patrick follows David to the passenger side of the car and attempts to open the door for him. Unfortunately, the small space and David’s confusion as to what Patrick is trying to do just make them both stumble over one another. Patrick awkwardly closes the door for David and makes his way over to the driver’s seat. David can’t help but make fun of him. “Okay so _that_ was the straightest thing I’ve ever experienced on a queer date.”

“Shut up”, Patrick mumbles. He doesn’t hesitate for a second to grab David’s hand once again as he settles into the car and starts the drive.

David gladly accepts the touch, calming his nerves about the date. It felt exactly as it always had hanging out with Patrick. But David had the voice at the back of his mind threatening to ruin his night with self-deprecation and doubt. He clears his throat. “So do I get to know where we are going now?”

Patrick presses his lips together, hiding his smirk. “Nope.”

“Okay so… so far my adjectives for this date are extremely frustrating and confusingly straight.”

“Glad to hear I’m doing so great. It will be about 20 minutes. Will letting you choose the music give me any redeeming date points?”

David perks up and reaches for the aux cord. “Frustrating, straight, and blessed by Mariah.”

\---

One hand in David’s and the other firmly on the wheel, Patrick pulls into the location of their first date while David continues to sing along to Always Be My Baby. However, David stops his karaoke upon seeing the sign for the pathway they are now driving up.

“Herb Ertlinger Winery?”, David asks skeptically.

Patrick tries not to panic at David’s obvious lack of amusement, reminding himself that David would probably have the same reaction to almost any location in Schitt’s Creek. “I heard your mom did a very successful promotion for them a while ago.”

“Mmm yeah. It’s debatable whether that success was due to her or that mess of a commercial.”

Patrick hums in agreement and pulls the car up to the near-empty entrance. “Well I talked with the owner and mentioned that their spokesperson’s son was looking for a intimate date location.”

“I don’t recall ever saying that.”

“And I may have also mentioned our store and the lack of supply on local wines.” Patrick makes a guilty face and stares ahead while turning off the car engine, knowing David is glaring at him.

“So for our first date, you are taking me on a vendor meeting?”, David sounds both annoyed and entertained.

Patrick glances over and throws his hands in the air. “I told them the sale may or may not bank on how well the date goes.”

“So now we are bribing potential customers?”, David exclaims, shocked by Patrick’s boldness in this whole scenario. It is so absurd and uncharacteristically unprofessional of Patrick that he can’t help but grin.

“I wouldn’t call it a bribe. More like an incentive to present us with a great evening.”

David pauses and just stares at Patrick. “And here I thought we were done masquerading our dates as business endeavors.”

Patrick raises his eyebrow. “Have we been on other dates I was unaware of?”

Cursing himself, David looks away self-consciously. “I mean…no. But sometimes our uh ‘professional get-togethers' waved more on the side of friendship than it did occupational.”

Patrick knows exactly what he is referring to and kicks himself once again for ever doubting his intuition on the nature of his relationship with David. “Ah and here I thought that it was totally normal for business partners to hold hands, share beds, and get high together?”

David rolls his eyes and unbuckles his seat-belt. But Patrick pulls him back towards him, looking right into David’s eyes. He knows that David needs to hear this. And he knows for his own sake, he needs to say it. “David. I felt the same way. All those times we hung out. I thought… it felt like more than just two business partners. Or even two friends. I always hoped those nights would turn into something more. On the Ferris Wheel. At the business conference. In the store… everyday,” Patrick admits, striving to give David that honesty he had promised him on the phone the night before.

“Really?”, David asks innocently. The lack of sass in his response and his pink cheeks expose David’s vulnerability.

“Really. The professional facade was always what I used because I thought it’s what you wanted.”

David shakes his head. “It wasn’t.”

Patrick reaches back out and lifts David’s chin so he is once again looking into his eyes. Patrick wants to tell him a million things at once. He wants to recount every time he wanted to kiss David over the past few months and assure him that these feelings are not fleeting, nor is David the only one to have felt this way for so long.

However, their gazing is cut short by movement in front of the car. The doors to the wooden barn open and out walks Herb himself, clearly oblivious to the moment he is disrupting. He waves at the two still in the car. Patrick moves away begrudgingly and waves in Herb’s direction.

“I didn’t know we would be introducing a third party into our relationship so quickly”, David speculates observing Herb’s enthusiasm for their presence.

“He is just a nice guy trying to get us to partner with him”, Patrick scolds David as he opens the car door.

“Uh huh that’s what they all say”, David jabs one more time. He takes a calming breath, re-centering himself after the sudden shift in the atmosphere. He exits the car, braced for disappointment.

\---

So maybe it wasn’t as bad as David made it out to be. After a few awkward pleasantry exchanges with Herb, they were sat outside at a small table overlooking the vineyard. An outdoor patio heater placed conveniently next to their single table cuts through the cold winter night. Small twinkle lights streamed overhead light up the tables and view. David is actually impressed. Maybe he should give his mother a little more credit for getting this place up to the Rose standard.

“And here are the wine menus so you can note what we are serving you tonight. And we also have a small appetizer list if you are interested”, Herb says, handing over the menus as the two sit down face-to-face.

David shoots Patrick a knowing look. Patrick doesn’t hesitate to grab the appetizer menu and give it a once over. “Can we have the charcuterie board with extra cheese, please?” David can’t help but smile fondly and feel a little turned on by Patrick’s take-charge personality.

“Okay great. And since you are looking to possibly work with us, we thought it would best to have you sample all of our best wines in a more ‘deluxe wine tasting’ if you will.” Herb is smiling and is far too enthusiastic for David’s liking. “We will be starting with a watermelon zhampagne. I’ll bring that out to you in just a minute.” He gives them both one last grin before taking off into the building.

Finally alone, David is suddenly feeling nervous. Business was easy. Interacting with vendors was second nature at this point. But sitting down on an actual date was far outside of David’s comfort zone.

“So he seems excited to be a part of this date,” David says with amusement.

Patrick looks at his sheepishly and rings his hands together. “Yeah uh I didn’t think he would be so involved in the whole thing.”

Clicking his tongue in disappointing, shaking his head in fake shame. “I guess thruple will be another ‘descriptor’ of the night.”

Patrick groans, “Daviddd.” David laughs at Patrick’s distress and reaches across the table to gather Patrick’s hand in his own. He has immediate flashbacks to the night at the fancy restaurant in Elmdale. That had been a good night. Why couldn’t this be as well?

“It’s fine. And the place is actually tasteful. Which will hopefully make up for the awful taste of the wine.” Patrick coughs dramatically, indicating the return of Herb. David attempts to pull his hand away but Patrick keeps it close within his own.

“Here are the two zhampagnes. I would normally tell you all about the origins of the wine and the undertones but if David is anything like his mother, he has the knowledge and taste for delicious alcohol. And you both look like you’re enjoying each others company so much, I would hate to interrupt,” Herb beams. “And don’t worry, any other guests this evening will be seated inside.” He throws a wink in David’s direction before exiting the area.

Clearing his throat, David looks down at the glass in confusion. “Did Herb Irvlingger just endorse our date? And also comment on my mother’s taste-buds?”

“That he did.” Patrick lifts his glass upwards towards David. “To our first date and all of the firsts.”

_Does he have to toast every time we drink? It’s too fucking adorable,_ David muses. He clinks his glass against Patrick’s. “To firsts.”

\---

The two blew through their tastings, including all of the available zhampagne, chardonnay and moscato. Finishing up the rosé, Patrick observes how beautifully the pink drink looks against David’s flushed cheeks; the color deepens the more he drinks and laughs at whatever ridiculous thing Patrick is saying to get such a reaction.

Patrick is feeling… relieved. He had been a bundle of nerves preparing for the date and was seemingly even more uneasy to discover David’s reaction to the potential business side of their date. But now with Herb only streaming in and out to provide them with wine and comment a small quip regarding their relationship, Patrick is able to relax with the wine and the sound of David’s laughter coursing through his veins.

“I mean honestly Irv Hermlinger is clearly a far superior name to Herb Ertlinger. Hermlinger Winery,” Patrick exaggerates as he throws his hands across the night sky. “I can see it now.”

“I still think Burt Herken is a winner.” David brings the last of the rosé to his lips and shivers as he downs the remaining drops.

“Are you cold?”, Patrick asks with sudden concern.

“Mmm well you think this leather jacket would protect me from the elements. But in fact, it is more of an art piece. Not very durable… or efficient.”

Without hesitating, Patrick shimmies off his jacket and stands up. “Here. You can wear this one. It’s not designer but it is very soft inside.”

“A true mark of quality. But I think I will _probably_ survive.”

But Patrick is already walking around to the other side of the table and placing the coat over top of David’s shoulders. “I will not have our first date end in you getting stick.” His hands linger on the broad scope of David’s back, gently squeezing his shoulder blades.

Ducking his head, David pulls the coat closer to himself. “Well considering how much I’ve drank, I think it’s a little too late for that. But thank you”, he mutters shyly.

Patrick sits back down opposite to David and dramatically clasps his hands together. “Although I must say my hands are awfully cold now without the warmth of my jacket.”

David rolls his eyes and grabs both of Patrick’s hands within his own bigger ones. “Well I would hate for you to get frostbite or something.”

Herb brings them both a glass of Merlot and quickly exits, not before commenting on the aphrodisiacal affects of strawberries.

Both quiet in thought, hands still clasped, Patrick breaks the silence. “This night kind of reminds me of that time we went to that fancy restaurant together,” Patrick reflects.

“Mmm I was thinking the same thing.”

“A lot has happened since then.”

“Such as?”

“Well I can do this now,” Patrick motions to their held hands.

“If my memory is correct, which it definitely is, we were already holding hands that night.”

“Okay well now I can…,” Patrick flails to find something, “drink from your glass.” He reaches across the table and takes a swig of David’s drink.

“Your mouth had already touched many of my beverages prior to that evening and tonight.”

“Okay fine so maybe much hasn’t changed.” It was true. It all felt so familiar in the best way possible.

“I can think of one thing that we can do that we were not doing back then,” David contemplates. He smirks and drinks from their now-shared-glass.

“Oh yeah?”

“Mhmm. We can kiss now.” David attempts to sound confident but Patrick hears his voice break slightly at the word kiss and he looks like he’s trying to sustain his disinterested persona.

The attempt to remain cool only makes Patrick crack a wide grin. “Oh really?”

“I mean yeah I guess so.” David shrugs his shoulders and looks away to stare at the vineyard, refusing to make eye contact with Patrick.

“So you’re telling me that I, Patrick Brewer can kiss you David Rose whenever I want?”

David looks back at him wearing a shocked expression. “I am pretty sure that’s not what I said. Kissing is only correct in certain scenarios.”

“Oh? And what would those be?”

“Well it can’t be some gross dramatic display of affection. Like at one of those sport’s events with the giant screen and the kiss video. Or after eating tuna and really any other raw fish. And I suppose we can add pitied fruits to the list, given the allergic reaction and gross mouth and all. Or in the presence of Stevie or Alexis because I will never hear the end of it.”

“So we’ve established when kissing is _not_ appropriate?”

“Off the top of my head, yes.”

“So by that logic, we are currently in a situation where it _is_ correct to kiss?” Patrick beams at David and tries to hide his nervousness with cockiness.

“I suppose you are right about that,” David whispers softly.

Patrick doesn’t allow himself to over-think it. He had done that too many times before and was done contemplating and dealing with ‘what-ifs’. He brings one hand up to David’s cheek and leans across the small table.

The positioning is slightly awkward and Patrick can only go so far with the table separating them but he presses his lips to David’s, feeling the smooth skin move against his own. Patrick is hyper-aware once again of everything that is David. His cold nose is pressed against Patrick’s and his warm hands are still wrapped tightly around Patrick’s freezing hands. Their temperatures feed into one another like the perfect symbiotic relationship.

Patrick hadn’t realized how much he had been craving to touch David like this again. He hadn’t allowed himself to think too much about it given David’s request for a slow pace. It feels new all over again and Patrick is drowning in the feeling. He could do this forever. 

“Here is the Zinfandel oop-! Sorry boys!”, Herb’s voice carries from across the tiny field of space.

Patrick pulls away reluctantly and drops David’s chin from beneath his fingers. He is still close enough to David to hear him whisper harshly under his breath, “Bingo Lingfucker.”

Unable to let anything ruin the moment, Patrick gladly waves Herb back to accept the drinks. Soon as he is gone again, Patrick allows his grin to break into a full wide-mouthed smile.

“What?”, David asks, noticing Patrick’s goofy grin and staring eyes.

“Nothing. Just happy. Also I realized another thing I can do that I could not back then.”

“Okay?”

“I can tell you how I feel. And right now, you are making me very happy, David Rose.”

Patrick has never seen David look so shy and adorable so many times in one given night. He takes a moment to gather himself before responding. “You make me happy too, Patrick Brewer.”

“In all truthfulness, I want to kiss you in every ‘correct’ situation I can.”

Pressing his lips together, David nods in agreement.

“And also in the spirit of honesty, your lips are very much stained from that fig red blend.”

David’s hands fly up to cover his mouth. “Patrick!”

\---

After an extended goodbye with Herb and the promise for a discussion on a partnership this coming week, Patrick drove a now very tipsy David home. Patrick insisted David drink his remaining glasses of wine knowing he would be driving and that David is a cute drunk.

Their conjoined hands are gathered in David’s lap in the passenger seat. David plays with each of Patrick’s fingers and rambles about the store. “I’m just saying that the wine will sell a lot better if we get people drunk on it first. You can barely taste how horrible it is after the first few glasses.”

“Well that’s why we need to have more events at Rose Apothecary. Give something for the people to look forward to,” Patrick comments. Patrick wants to be concerned that the conversation has fallen back to work. But he knows it’s not out of lack of things to talk about. The two just had a way of conversing on every topic possible.

“Speaking of, I really like your jacket.” David cuddles further into the warm cotton and brings it over his face so he can smell Patrick on it.

Just like that. “How is that related to events at the store? And also did you just smell my jacket?”

David scrunches his nose up and moves the jacket away from his face. “I did not.” He definitely did. David is far too much in bliss to care though. Patrick’s jacket wraps snug around him and Patrick’s hand in his lap is making it difficult to remember why he would care in the first place.

The car is silent and for the first time that night, David and Patrick both do not try to fill the void. David had always hated silence. He never understood the concept of “comfortable silence.” But sitting in a silent car on the quiet drive back home with Patrick is possibly changing his mind.

When they finally pull up to the hotel, David feels so relaxed that the thought of being nervous doesn’t even cross his mind. Patrick parks the car and turns in his seat to look at David.

“So what adjectives do I get then for the night? Calamitous date? Team-building outing? Disastrous? Not gay enough?”

A stream of air leaves David’s nose in a small laugh. “All of the above.” He contemplates his response. “I would say it was very…unconventional?”

“That does not sound like a good thing, David.”

“Unconventional in the sense of memorable and original,” David assures.

“I’m pretty sure plenty of people go to wineries on dates.”

“Not me. Especially a fruit winery. So seeing as I’ve never had such an experience before, I think the title suits the date.”

“Okay I’ll take it.”

“I would also say…comfortable?”

“Comfortable?,” Patrick asks skeptically.

“It’s not a word I often use in a positive manner. But I mean it in a good way. Like… it felt easy… to be on a date with you. And you make me feel this kind of cozy feeling?” David cringes at his own word choice, not really sure how to describe what the feeling is.

Patrick listens carefully and squeezes his hand. “I know exactly what you mean.” _You feel like home_, Patrick thinks but doesn’t dare say.

“And don’t let this get to your head _but_ it was the best first date I’ve ever had.”

Patrick beams at David’s chagrined appearance. He reaches his free hand under David’s chin once again, a move he is now realizing he likes to do when David becomes embarrassed. “Mmm so basically we are handing over full responsibility for all future dates to me?”

Huffing, David brings his own hand up to hold Patrick’s hand on his face. “I said don’t let it get to your head.”

“Too late. So tell me just how great was the date? Are you like going to tell everyone about it? Going to write our initials in a heart in your journal?”

David fawns annoyance. “Keep it up and you won’t even be mentioned in the journal.”

Patrick laughs and gently cups David’s cheek. He searches David’s bright eyes, gazing for what feels like an eternity. He can’t help that his mind conjures up the image of David leaning in to kiss him in his car so long ago. Patrick had pulled away that night, scared and unsure. Patrick couldn’t take back that night but he could rewrite their story here and now.

Patrick leans in close to David and closes his eyes. He allows David to close the gap and chase his lips. He kisses him slowly, reveling in David’s mouth on his own. He tastes the leftover fruit on his lips and can’t think of anything that tastes better.

David’s head is spinning with the sensation of Patrick and the wine in his body. He holds the hand on his cheek a little tighter and squeezes the one tangled with Patrick’s in his lap to ground himself in fear he may float away. David licks lightly into Patrick’s mouth, begging him to let him have just a little more.

The seat belt pressed firmly against Patrick’s chest and David’s prior request to go slow hold him back from pulling David into his lap. He instead opts to bring the hand that was once on David’s cheek and thread it through his hair.

David sighs into the touch of Patrick slightly tugging at his hair. The change in position allows them to pull away slightly and breath. David realizes how ridiculous they look- hands gripping one another desperately but quarantined in distant by their seat-belts.

Patrick slowly opens his eyes again to see that David is breathing just as heavy as he is. He leans his forehead slightly against David’s, syncing his deep breaths with David’s. Once he feels like he is coming back down to Earth, he opens his eyes and releases his grip. David follows his movements and pulls back slightly.

“You taste like an apple,” Patrick mumbles without thinking twice.

The ridiculousness of it all has David grinning like a fool once again. He unbuckles his seat-belt and considers, “And you taste like a melon.”

“We make a good sangria.”

David rolls his eyes at the cheesiness. He impulsively leans forward again to press a chaste kiss to Patrick’s lips. Patrick could definitely get used to David’s spontaneous second kisses.

“Red sangria,” David states as he exits the car. “I’ll see you in the morning. We can discuss what we should do about the whole Burt Hergeif situation.”

“His name is Herb, David,” Patrick follows. David turns around after closing the door and leans through the window. He wants to reach back out and pull David back in the car. But for now, he reaches across and squeezes David’s hand. “Goodnight, David.”

“Goodnight, Patrick.” When Patrick backs out of the dirt parking lot and drives down the path home tonight, he has a smile on his face and an overwhelming feeling of happiness. He finally kissed David in this damn car.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A long night of talking leads to some revelations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops I did it again. A month without posting, I come back with a chapter I’m not too happy with anyways. Unfortunately, some personal family and health issues got in the way. BUT I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. And happy new year! AND happy Schitt’s Creek Season 6 day! Seeing David’s unfiltered happiness in this episode made my heart soar. What did everyone else think of the first episode? Enjoy this extra long chapter. I wrote it with the thought that Patrick and David in this universe would sort their shit out early on.

Lying on the bed and fidgeting with his phone, David contemplates what to text Patrick. It had only been a week since the change in the relationship dynamic and they seemed to be tiptoeing around that exact fact. Yes, they did kiss at the store in-between breaks without customers and perhaps Patrick was a little more vocal about complimenting David’s appearance. But for the most part, it just seemed like two friends who enjoyed occasionally making out and being in each others company.

Which David is totally fine with. He was familiar with the ‘friends with benefits’ dynamic. Well…not quite these types of benefits. These benefits were captivating conversations, unconditional understanding, fond looks, and comforting hugs. And not any of the traditional benefits except the occasional fingertip sneaking beneath the shirt and a hickey on the neck. But again, David is _totally_ fine with it.

They had kept to the usual texting since their first kiss. The conversations tended to stay within the bounds of their usual banter, questions about the store, discussions about pop culture and interests. But tonight, David is feeling a little desperate to acknowledge that there is indeed a change in his relationship with Patrick.

** **To Patrick: ** **

** **I’m bored ** **

_We’ve been out of work for 20 minutes. Are you telling me you can’t find anything to do outside of the store? _

** **Well Stevie is busy tonight so I don’t have anyone to harass me with incessant interrogating** **

Which was true. Stevie had not stopped bothering him since he finally admitted to her what transpired between him and Patrick. “I knew it!”, Stevie had exclaimed, slapping David on the shoulder. “You two are such fucking morons that it took months to come to this very obvious conclusion.”

David didn’t deny that. But he also wasn’t sure how long these feelings had been brewing in Patrick. For all he knows, he could have woken up that morning in the motel room with a sudden desire to kiss a guy. Maybe he was just lucky to be the one there at the time of such revelations. Maybe he wasn’t lucky at all.

“Yeah okay well let’s not make a big deal of it,” David hushed her, trying not to get his own hopes up as a result of Stevie’s excitement.

“What do you mean? Isn’t this exactly what you wanted?”

“It’s just very new. And fragile. And can we even really be sure it’s a thing? He might wake up today and decide this was all a big mistake.”

“Didn’t you just say you went on a date last night? Where you kissed? And did all the date shit?”

“Yes but…better not to get our hopes up. He probably doesn’t _actually_ like me.”

Stevie outwardly groaned. “You’re hopeless.”

_I can interrogate you if that’s what you want _

** **Kinky ** **

****I mean****

** **I will gladly take a break from the probing but I’m realizing my whole social life is actually just Stevie annoying me so ** **

_And she does a great job at it_

_How about a round of 20 questions? It can be like an interrogation but more fun _

_Plus I can learn some things about you_

_Also don’t think I am going to let that comment slide by _

** **Please let it ** **

** **I’m pretty sure you know everything about me that I am willing to admit by now** **

_Don’t I get some new information with my higher ranked position?_

** **I don’t know what that means ** **

_Okay I’ll start with an easy one. How are you David?_

** **I swear you’re the only person who makes me want to create new rules for this game. You cannot ask “how are you”** **

_Why not?_

** **Because it’s boring which is the opposite of what we are going for here** **

_Just answer the question David _

** **I am doing just fine thank you ** **

** **Happy? ** **

_Very _

_Your turn _

** **Why are you incredibly difficult? ** **

_It’s a gift really _

_Well actually I learned from Stevie so_

_You have her to thank _

****She is the worst****

_Do you still have feelings for her?_

David could feel his heart leap into his throat. Why would Patrick ask that?

** **What the fuck Patrick??** **

_That’s my question _

** **She is my best friend** **

** **I hold great fondness for her and would basically do anything for her ** **

** **Which, by the way, is just as important as amorous love and is greatly under-appreciated and overlooked in today’s modern society ** **

** **But no, I do not have romantic feelings for Stevie if that is what you are asking ** **

_Well that is good to know and I very much respect your friendship _

_Go ahead _

** **Fine ** **

** **Tell me about the last person you slept with since we are playing dirty like that ** **

_Is that a question?_

** **Who was the last person you slept with? ** **

_I was just playing the game_

_I like learning about your past and your feelings_

_And it was one I had been thinking about since you mentioned that you dated Stevie_

_And her name is Rachel _

** **Well I think it’s best if we leave that David in the past where he belongs** **

** **So is Rachel your ex-girlfriend? ** **

_Actually… is it too much to ask if we don’t talk about her right now?_

David’s heart speeds up and the tingly sense of distrust that always seemed to appear in his relationships is suddenly present. He had never felt that with Patrick and he did not like it at all. Before he can panic though, Patrick continues.

_It is kind of a long story and I would rather do it face-to-face_

_It’s not bad _

_But I just want to be honest with you _

David thinks about that for a minute. It seems oddly suspicious and his instinct to run is kicking in. But he can’t help but appreciate Patrick’s straightforwardness and ability to know when David is spiraling.

_David? _

Oh he hasn’t responded yet, David realizes.

** **Yeah sorry I understand if you don’t want to talk about it ** **

** **But ** **

Be honest, David convinces himself.

** **It does make me a little nervous ** **

David watches the dots fade in and out, Patrick clearly unable to make up his mind on a response. When he finally does, it is not what David is expecting.

_Are you free tonight? _

What?, David thinks.

****What?****

_Do you have plans?_

_Well actually I know you don’t have plans _

_But Ray is going to be out for the evening. It’s Poker Night _

_Do you maybe want to come over here?_

David is confused and a little put off. He scrolls back up in the text thread to confirm that he did indeed just make a very vulnerable statement that Patrick is clearly ignoring. Once again, Patrick responds before he can make any more assumptions.

_I was thinking we might as well talk about it now, right? Better to get all the messy past stuff out of the way _

Uh no no no. It definitely was not. David knew how this went. The more people tended to find out about him, the more likely they were to leave. To lose interest. To want out.

** **Is that really a good idea? ** **

_We don’t have to talk about anything but also this the only night Ray is out of the house and watching a movie on the couch with you sounds very enjoyable right now _

David can’t help that he grins. Why is he fucking smiling? This sociopath wants to learn about his past? And wants to tell him about his own past? He clearly is insane. And yet…

** **Okay** **

** **But only if I get to pick the movie ** **

_Deal_

_Come over when you’re ready_

** **What’s the attire? ** **

_Comfortable pajama chic _

** **That I can do ** **

David drops the phone on his chest and stares up at the ceiling. Okay so that was definitely not how he wanted the conversation to go. A simple ‘we are more than friends’ would have sufficed and assuaged David’s nerves. But now, David feels even more uncertain. A pit is forming in his stomach with the feeling that he may be getting himself into something way more than he bargained for tonight. 

\---

Patrick didn’t anticipate inviting David over. Actually, he hoped they could avoid spending time at Ray’s house as much as possible. And yet he actively asked David over. Out of the blue. Without a plan. He was going to be here any minute.

The shift in conversation to Rachel was unintentional and unexpected. Again, he hoped they could go their entire relationship without ever bringing up her name. But Patrick also knew it was important for David hear the full story. They didn’t go through all this longing- this struggle- just to be split up by a conversation about his ex fiance.

When he hears a knock at the door about an hour after their texting, Patrick stares from his seat on the couch. He had panicked and cleaned every surface area to the best of his ability and reorganized to try and meet David’s minimal standards.

He jumps up and rushes over to the door, opening it smoothly like he isn’t having this inner turmoil. David is stood looking about as distraught as Patrick feels on the inside.

“Hey,” he states simply. He looks… scared? Maybe confused? Definitely not any expression Patrick wants David to have around him.

“Hey”, Patrick says dumbly. He is still staring at David, trying to crack the code of his facial expressions.

“Can I…come in?”, David asks awkwardly. Patrick realizes he is just staring at David, blocking the door. He opens it wider and gestures inside.

“So this is where Ray lives? You would think a Realtor and interior decorator and photographer would have better taste in furniture. And wall decor.” David scrunches his nose up as he looks around.

“What if I told you I hand picked this couch?”, Patrick pats the old fabric patterned sofa.

“Then I would say we have more than just your ex to talk about.”

It only takes Patrick aback for a second but then he is smiling. David wasn’t beating around the bush and he liked that.

“I suppose we have a lot of things to cover. You wanna sit down on the couch?”

David gives the couch another once-over. “If I have to.”

“Water? Alcohol?” Patrick starts the walk towards the kitchen, giving David a little time to adjust before jumping into any conversation. He remembered David once telling him that sitting in a new space for a few minutes calmed some of his anxiety in unfamiliar places.

“Just water actually.” Patrick nods and internally agrees that alcohol might not be the best idea for tonight, not only because of the deep conversations to be had but also because he does not trust himself to keep things moving slowly with alcohol in his system and David sitting on his couch. 

“Okay. The remote is here if you want to sift through some movies to watch.”

Patrick exits to the kitchen where he grabs two glasses of water, makes a bowl of popcorn, and takes a few deep breaths.

When he re-enters the space, David is already leaning back into the couch and has one leg crossed under the other. “10 Things I hate About You is on.”

Patrick makes his way over to David and debates where to sit on the rather small couch (not that he has many options). He figures sitting the furthest away for now might be his safest bet. “Will you be proud of me if I say I have seen this movie multiple times?”

“I would be a lot prouder if you told me you had seen Julia Stiles’ work in more under-appreciated roles like The Prince and Me but this will have to do for now. Should I pick something else then?”

“No actually it’s better to have it as a background sound anyways.”

“I’m personally offended for Julia Stiles and myself.”

Patrick chuckles and places the popcorn between themselves. David instantly grabs for handful and then backtracks to control his movements, slowly picking at pieces from his hand. Patrick notices. “You know you can just eat a handful of popcorn like a normal human being. I _know_ you don’t eat popcorn one piece at a time.”

David glares at him but takes 3 pieces and puts them in his mouth. They both remain quiet after that, watching the movie in front of them and barely glancing in each others direction. Scene after scene plays out and they still haven’t even touched one another since David got here. Patrick justifies it to himself, pretending like this was all apart of the comfortable nature of their relationship. But for once, it doesn’t feel comfortable. There is a tenseness to the situation and an underlying feeling of dread Patrick is carrying in his shoulders. The sounds of their rustling hands in the popcorn seems to get louder and louder until the bowl is gone and there is nothing left for Patrick to occupy his hands with. Patrick can’t take much more. He has to say something.

“Me and Rachel were engaged,” he blurts out. He literally wants to slap his hand across his mouth. He knows his own eyes are wide when he looks over at David.

David turns his attention slowly to Patrick. His expression is unreadable which is truly a rarity when it comes to David; it was doing nothing to calm Patrick’s nerves. He stares at him for a few seconds and bites his lip. He looks like he is thinking hard of what to say but the only thing that comes out when he finally does is “Oh”.

Patrick reaches out to move the popcorn bowl to the table so there is nothing but space in-between them. For some reason, that feels worse. He starts ringing his hands, trying to find the words to explain himself. _Just say something. Anything. _

“I broke it off right before I moved here.” _Okay maybe don’t start there._ “Actually let me start at the beginning. Um so me and Rachel were together since high school. I mean not straight through. We were on and off again a lot. We went to college together but that was kind of a disaster. Anyways she would always reach back out after university and we would just fall back into it. And uh well the last time we got back together, I asked her to marry me.”

Patrick pauses to let David digest what he is telling him. His face is still blank. And Patrick is desperate for a reaction. Any reaction. He continues on. “Well of course it didn’t work. Shockingly, getting engaged is not the answer to a dying relationship. I called it off and moved here right away. I needed to get away from her. And all the people who knew us together. And the expectations. So many expectations. And disappointment. I disappointed so many people, David.”

When did he start looking at his hands instead of at David? And why did his throat feel so tight? He looks up to see David staring at him now with a recognizable expression- concern. David still doesn’t say anything but he closes the space between them and holds Patrick’s hand. Patrick is thankful for the chance to speak. He knows if David spoke now, he wouldn’t allow himself to continue with what he has to say.

“It was… the most radical thing I ever did. Leaving like that. Barely with any notice. My parents were so devastated. And obviously Rachel was as well. But it was also the bravest thing I ever did. Well second bravest now. But also the greatest decision of my life. Because it brought me here. To you.”

He can’t explain why he feels so goddamn emotional. Or why he is saying the things he is. But all he knows is that it’s important for David to hear them. That he understands the impact he has truly made on his life.

Patrick clears his throat which has only continued to tighten the more he talks. “I never felt the emotions you’re supposed to feel. My relationship with Rachel never felt right. _I _never felt right. Until I met you. You make me feel like I can fall in love. And that’s why it’s important to me that you know about my past. So you understand that this,” he points between them, “is not nothing.”

David still stares intently, waiting to see if Patrick has more to verbalize. Patrick barely knows what he is saying anymore but he is aware that letting the word ‘love’ slip past his lips is dangerous. He has a million more things to say but can’t think of any more words to express it besides the ones that are too scary- too soon- for both of them right now.

Without warning, David leans in quickly to place a brief kiss to Patrick’s cheek. He presses his lips gently to Patrick’s side and lingers for a second too long. David seems surprised by his own uncharacteristic action but refuses to take it back.

“Thank you. For telling me that?” David sounds unsure and Patrick raises his eyebrow. “Uh I mean…sorry. I don’t know what I’m doing. Most people don’t actively tell me about their dating history unless they are trying to make me jealous or brag about their sexual exploits so this is kind of new for me. And the whole honesty thing is different so…”.

Patrick feels a small smile form on his own cheeks. _I am falling in love with David,_ Patrick decides.

“Why are you smiling?!” David looks at him shocked and a little frightened.

“I tell you all about my emotional turmoil and my ex fiance and you say ‘Thank You’ and ‘Sorry’. I’ve never considered you a true Canadian until this moment.”

“Shut up,” David mumbles to offset his atypical politeness. He sits up straighter. “Okay just listen. What you told me was very brave. What you went through and your decisions required a lot of courage. So I appreciate your bravery for both our sakes.”

“I am incredibly heroic.” Patrick admires David’s nervous smile and dancing eyes. “That was a lot. Do you have any questions? Concerns?”

“Okay now you are sounding like a comment card from a suggestion box.” Despite the amusement, David looks like he is trying to come up with something more to say about it. “But honestly I think I just need to digest everything.”

“Should we offset the heavy stuff with another movie and an innocent continuation of our 20 questions game?”

“Isn’t this exactly what got us here?”

“Yes. But I blame the questioner.”

“Someone had to spice the game up after ‘how are you’”. David looks around the room in hopes to find something to lighten the conversation but in the end, can’t subdue his curiosity and desire to pester Patrick. “So leaving was the second bravest thing you’ve ever done. Would the first bravest happen to have taken place in Schitt’s Creek? Or involve another person you are close to? Or...?”

“Oh yeah. Deciding to move in with Ray was by far the bravest thing I’ve ever done,” Patrick teases, refusing to entertain David’s prying and egging on.

“Well you did say you are incredibly heroic. Like Batman or something using your x-ray vision to see right through this disgusting paisley color palette.”

“David, Batman does not have X-Ray vision. That’s Superman.”

“The guy with the spiderwebs?”

“That’s… Spiderman,” Patrick says with genuine distress. “Alright it’s decided. Next time, I pick the movie.”

\---

Hours later and the conversation is no where near where it started. Despite the initial heaviness of the evening, they have now fallen into a weird pattern of asking questions back and forth while simultaneously watching TV, eating snacks, and mocking one another. David is enjoying himself so much he forgets (or maybe represses) the fact that Ray lives here as well.

“Honey I’m homeeee.” David’s head whips around to see Ray bouncing through the door with his winnings for the evening.

“Oh David. I didn’t realize you would be over tonight,” Ray carries on. “Are we having a good date night?” He glances between the two of them and grins wider. David immediately wants to tell him to go away but that is hardly possible with this being Ray’s house and all.

“WE are. Yes. Patrick and I are having a great… date night,” David stutters. At the same time, Patrick mutters a quiet “not really a date”. David is just hoping that a date will be enough to deter Ray and convince him to leave them be. Alas, David could never be so lucky.

“Oh wonderful! And what are we watching? Ah Bridget Jones Diary! One of my favorites,” Ray says as he comes to sit in the chair next to the couch. David stares at him, open-mouthed and speechless for once in his life.

“Um Ray you know what? We were actually just about to go upstairs,” Patrick attempts to sound smooth. He is already sitting up on the couch, ready to drag David away.

“Are we watching it in your room?” Ray sounds genuinely confused and David is flabbergasted.

“Uh no just going up to my room. No Bridget Jones.”

“Oh. Ohhhh,” Ray says amused. “I didn’t know you were planning to stay the night David.”

“I’m not”.

“He’s not”, Patrick spits out at the same time. For some reason David is a little hurt at how fast he says it. But Patrick was just trying to uphold his request to take it slow. Right?

Now Ray looks confused but doesn’t stop smiling at them as they stand from the couch. “So should I make some cookies for an evening snack?”

“Yes.”

“No, that’s okay,” Patrick speaks at the same time once again. David shoots him a look and he shrugs his shoulders. Patrick starts off towards the stairs and reaches out to grab David behind him.

“Chocolate chip or snicker doodle?”, Ray calls after them.

As he is dragged up the stairs, David is still able to yell out “chocolate chip” over his shoulder.

Before David can even think about what’s happening, Patrick pulls him into his room and shuts the door behind them. David takes a moment to survey the space that is Patrick’s. The room seems unequivocally Ray’s unless Patrick has a love for floral, vases, and scenic portraits he was unaware of.

“Wow,” David states simply in response to everything that has occurred in the last few minutes.

“Sorry about that,” Patrick paces in the tiny room. “I uh- you can leave now if you want. I just wanted to say goodbye without Ray breathing down my neck.”

David has an out to leave. But he really can’t think of any reason he would want to. “Well now I have to wait around for those cookies. You really think I would leave now after the temptation of a cookie has been waved around in my face?”

Patrick smiles and then looks around awkwardly. “So this is my room.”

“I see that”, David says while stepping further into the space to look around. He picks up a picture on the dresser. “This is sweet.” He means to say it jokingly but realizes he actually means it.

“Oh yeah that was my baseball team back home.”

“Cute outfit”, David smirks.

“Well hopefully you’ll get to see it soon.” Patrick relaxes a bit and sits down on the side of the bed.

“Do I want to know what that means?”

“Well I’m on the baseball team here. Remember?”

“Mmm”, David just hums. He did not remember that, nor did he want to. But he guesses seeing Patrick in his cute little sports outfit makes it all worthwhile. He puts the picture down and turns around to see Patrick looking uncharacteristically uncomfortable. 

“Uh do you wanna sit on the actual bed? I can put the show back on?”

_Don’t over-think it._ “Yeah sure.” He swings his legs on to the bed and stays close to the edge while Patrick turns the T.V. back on to Bridget Jones. They watch the next few scenes play out with awkward silence between them. Patrick finally breaks the quiet.

“So remind me again why she would even be remotely interested in Daniel?”

“He’s mysterious. And hot.”

“He’s an asshole?”

“Yes. Exactly,” David concedes. “The Romcom lead always falls for the jerk. I would know. I’m basically like a real life Bridget Jones.”

“What do you mean?”

David doesn’t even hear Ray until he is bursting through the door. “Cookies!” He looks unphased by David’s clear expression of shock and disapproval. “David, I put extra chocolate chips in just for you”, he exclaims, bringing a plate over to the bed. Well David wasn’t going to refuse it at this point. He gingerly takes one and then grabs three more (for later, obviously).

Patrick looks at Ray precariously but doesn’t argue and takes one cookie. Ray stands in the middle of the room, plate in hand, staring at them both with a wide grin on his face. It takes a few more awkward seconds before Patrick clears his throat. “Um…Ray…”.

“Oh right right sorry I will leave you two alone.” He walks backwards out the door, winking as he leaves. The door remains open and David is pretty sure he can hear him breathing just outside the threshold.

Patrick gives David a look before leaning in close to whisper in his ear. “I would call him back to close the door but I fear that he might never leave if I saw his name again. He’s like a genie or something.” He pulls away and hops off the bed. He doesn’t check twice before closing the door to the room.

David is already eating his second cookie. “I would be so much more annoyed if these cookies weren’t so good.”

Patrick bounces back on to the bed, seemingly growing more comfortable by the second. He lays down near the head of the bed and bites into his cookie. “So you are into the bad boys, huh?”

“What makes you think I’m not the bad boy?”

Patrick gives him a knowing look in response. He reaches forward and pats David’s hand.

David pulls away, looking offended. “Okay fine I was the Mandy Moore to many Shane West’s in my life. Happy?” Patrick gives him a blank stare. “A Walk to Remember?” Patrick still stares at him with zero understanding. “Okay just basically like any woman in a Nicholas Sparks novel. But without the happy ending.”

“I thought most of those movies ended kind of…depressing.”

“Okay fine so maybe it’s exactly like my life,” David says with exasperation.

Patrick reaches out to grab a hold of David again. “Well I think it’s only fair that you tell me all about these bad boys you dated.”

David looks uneasy and he cranes his neck to evade any eye contact. “Actually, just bad people. My awful taste knows no gender,” David mumbles more to himself than to Patrick.

The room stays quiet besides the sound of the TV. Patrick refrains from saying more, afraid that pushing David towards a conversation about his past may upset him. He plays with David’s rings in a comforting gesture, moving from finger to finger.

Eventually, David speaks again. “It’s not that I don’t want to tell you things. Well…actually no that’s exactly what it is. But…”, David flounders. He keeps his head facing away from Patrick. “It’s just that historically speaking, the more I reveal about myself the less interested people get. So…”.

David has one hand clenched at his side, digging his nails into his palm to keep him grounded. He feels like Patrick could rip out his heart at any given second and leave him for dead. And the crazy part is that David is fully allowing it to happen. He is afraid to even look up and see Patrick’s disappointed face. Luckily, he doesn’t have to. Because Patrick is tucking his fingers under his chin and lifting his eyes to look at him. He likes it when Patrick does that, he realizes.

“You have to know by now that you can’t scare me off. I want to know everything about you. The good and the bad.”

He looks sincere, David notes. Then again, David had never been good at reading people. The warning signs tended to slip past David, often disguised as self-assurance.

When David doesn’t respond, Patrick staggers to continue. “Not the ugly though. Because you could never be ugly.”

David simultaneously scrunches his face in a smile and a cringe. “There was a lot wrong with that but I’ll let it slide for now.”

“I appreciate that.” Patrick wears a soft smile, nothing too big that might burst the tense moment. He strokes the skin under David’s chin. “You don’t have to tell me everything at once. In fact, you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to talk about. But I just want you to know that I genuinely want to know.”

A sigh escapes his lips and he leans into the touch. “It’s a lot.”

Patrick shifts closer, not being the least bit subtle in his movements. “Well I know about Jake. And Sebastian. Could it be worst than them?”

David thinks it’s cute that Patrick thinks Jake could possibly be the worst person he’s dated. “Just a little bit.”

“Alright. Well how about you tell me about just one of your ex’s or ‘bad boys’ for now?”

David takes a deep breath and then blows it out. “Okay but you have to promise you won’t break up with me for at least a couple weeks from now. Just pretend that you still like me after so I can avoid thinking it was for this reason.”

Patrick rolls his eyes but runs a hand up and down David’s arm in assurance. “I’ll wait a whole month if that makes you feel better.”

He scowls and moves away on the bed. “Also I’m going to need at least a few more cookies and some tea for comfort.”

“And I’m assuming that I have to go get all of those things?”

“I’ll keep the bed warm.”

Patrick can’t help but kiss David on the cheek (because he can do that now), before hopping out of the bed. “Anything for you, Bridget Jones.”

\---

Although the TV is still on, attention to the screen is long abandoned. The story of the next Bridget Jones drones on behind them but Patrick is intent on hearing everything David will allow him to hear. Patrick brought a few more blankets, along with the remaining cookies and tea, to create a cozy atmosphere in the now dimly lit room.

They are sitting on the far end of the bed, pressed up against the wall, sitting side-by side. David sips at his tea and slowly chews on the cookie in his hand. Patrick doesn’t push anything, knowing that David will talk when he wants to.

Eventually, David clears his throat. “Alright I think the cookie helped.”

“It always does.”

“Okay I suppose to fully understand my dating history, we have to start at the beginning. So let’s set the scene. I’m in 7th grade. It’s the end of the year dance and-”.

“I am going to stop you right there because I need a far more detailed description of middle school David.”

“Nobody wants that.”

“I want that.”

“Just picture flat-ironed hair, pink braces and a lot of insecurity.”

“Can I get an _actual_ picture?”

“Surprisingly, pictures of me in middle school were not one of the cherished possessions I chose to save when we lost everything.”

“That’s too bad. Thought I could add it to my David Rose picture collection.”

“... Can I continue or do you want to find more ways to torment me tonight?”

“Kinky,” Patrick uses the word just as David had earlier while they were texting. Patrick doesn’t mean to be making light of David’s fear but it’s the best way he knows how to communicate with him. He also knows the banter tends to relax David and get him to open up more.

Thankfully, it does just that. David laughs. “Can we talk about that instead?”

“Later,” Patrick grins into his tea. He waves David on to continue.

“I’m in 7th grade. It’s the end of the year dance and I have this huge crush on Veronica. She is the daughter of the businessman who runs all these popular nightclubs in Tokyo. And she was a model for basically the Japanese version of Target. So she was a pretty big deal and-.”

“What does the Japanese version of Target even look like?”

David glares but gladly answers. “The toys and games section is a lot more extensive and stranger. And the pillows have far more naked anime characters on them.”

“We should definitely go to Japan. I heard Spring is the best time of year to visit.” He realizes a second too late that he is implying they will be together months down the road.

He is not sure if David neglects to realize it or it just doesn’t scare him, but he nods along. “If we are doing a trip to Japan, I want you to know that I will be fully in-charge of all the planning.”

“I can deal with that.” Patrick reaches down to play with the sleeve of David’s sweater between their two bodies. “Okay sorry. Veronica. Continue.”

For some reason, David does not seem to mind the interruptions. “So she was a pretty big deal and one of the most popular girls with a celebrity father from Japan. And with the end of the year dance coming, I thought I would ask Veronica to the dance.”

“That seems very unlike you.”

“Mmm it isn’t. But it only became ‘not like me’ until after this instance. Anyways, I asked her out while we were both eating our crepes in the school lounge bar. And she said yes.”

“Okay so that’s…good?”

“Yes but you will learn that, like all of my dating history stories, it get’s dark very quickly.” David squirms a little on the bed. “We texted back and forth because I wanted to coordinate our attire, obviously.”

“Obviously.”

“And she told me that we would be donning a matching pink couture outfit with fitted sequins on the sleeves. Now, you may not know this about me, but I’m quite the bedazzeler so this was a dream come true for me.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you wear pink…”.

“Again, this whole scenario scarred me. I’ve been wearing black in mourning ever since.”

“Okay well continue then.”

“I get this beautiful pink suit and bedazzle it with a perfectly healthy amount of glitter and sequins and jewels. When it comes to the night of the dance, Veronica tells me she wants to meet at the venue. So after Adelina took way too many pictures and sent me off, I showed up to the event feeling very proud of my fashion choices that took many hours to create. I thought Veronica was going to be so impressed with my suit. And I was just excited to be going to the dance with my crush. So she tells me to meet her in the ballroom-”.

“Ballroom? Your school had a ballroom?”

“Yes? What do you mean?”

“Doesn’t matter. So you get to the ballroom?”

“And she is with all of her friends over by the food and drink table, which was where I planning to head to anyways. But when I saw her, she was not wearing pink. She was wearing _blue_.”

Patrick bites his tongue to hold back from making fun of David.

“I go over to the table and confront her, asking her what happened to our pink outfit plan. And then she says, in front of her whole popular friend group, that she ‘wouldn’t be caught dead wearing such a gross color’. And then proceeded to to tell me how ‘funny it was that I ever thought she would go to the dance with someone so gay’.”

Patrick cringes but stays quiet.

“And _then _her actual boyfriend (apparently) and his friends each took turns poring their punch drinks on me to ‘make me even fruitier’ than I already was.”

_Okay so much worse than a fashion miscommunication._“Shit. That’s horrible, David.”

“Yeah well they said far more terrible things that night and I’ve heard much worse since. I escaped to the bathroom and cried in the stall in my ruined suit.” He looks off in contemplation. “At the time, I wasn’t even out. I was still figuring myself out. So it made the transition that much harder. Having the thing I might identify as being associated with the bullying.”

Patrick winces at David’s words and is grateful to not have had those experiences as a teenager. “Teenagers suck,” Patrick breathes out, unfiltered.

David hums in agreement. “Funny enough, I had a similar instance not too long ago but instead of an outfit, it was the sound of my voice. And instead of fruit punch, it was an actual punch”.

Patrick doesn’t know how to make it better. He knows there is nothing he can really do. But he wants to try. He looks at David intently. “And yet you are still unapologetically you, proving you are far better than all of those assholes.”

He shrugs. “I can’t say it didn’t effect me. Or that it doesn’t hurt now when I encounter ignorance or people who treat me like shit. But I would like to think I’ve got thicker skin because of it. And I wouldn’t be who I am without those experiences.”

“So should I be thanking the bullies and assholes of the world for making you the person that you are?”

“Exactly. Totally wasn’t my own resilience and personality that got me through it all.”

Their fingers intertwine between them and Patrick could carry on with the jokes but he doesn’t want the topic to be dropped just yet. It was a miracle David had opened up about anything in the first place. “I can’t uh sit here and pretend that I fully understand what you’ve gone through. Surprisingly, I haven’t dated any people who were too terrible. And I haven’t dealt with any homophobia in my lifetime. But it does makes me think that maybe I don’t fully understand the ‘gay experience’.”

“I would like to keep it that way. You don’t need to have ignorant assholes telling you that you shouldn’t exist in order to consider yourself queer. There are a lot of other, most pleasurable experiences to have that will equally suffice.”

“Such as?”

“I mean the sex is pretty great.”

Patrick laughs and feels his cheeks burn with some redness. “Is that what I’m missing out on then?”

“Yes. Specifically sex with me.”

“A religious experience I’m guessing?”

“Truly godly.”

Patrick laughs and reminds himself not to drift in that direction just yet. He brings his smiling lips to David’s temple and wraps him in closer. “Is there like an induction process? Is the sex part of the pinning ceremony?”

David leans into him and drops his head to Patrick’s shoulder. “Are we already introducing role playing into the relationship? Honor roll student gets award from teacher?”

Patrick keeps his lips pressed to the top of David’s head and smiles into his hair. He expects David to push him away or comment on him messing up his hair but he just leans in further. He hums into his skin. “I will definitely take weird kinky role playing with you over ignorant bullies any day.”

A finger strokes up and down the arm wrapped around David’s chest. It’s quiet for a minute or maybe more. Both are okay with that. David finally speaks up but doesn’t still his wandering fingers. “I will do everything I can to make sure you don’t experience that.”

Patrick knows David really can’t stop that from happening. He can’t evade all the horrible people of the world. He can’t stop the words or the looks or the disappointment. He can’t prevent him from losing people that may not want to be part of his life anymore. He can’t take away the fear. But he could be there. He could be the one who makes it okay. Who makes it worth it. “Thank you,” Patrick whispers into his head, hoping the true meaning behind his words would seep into David’s brain.

They both remain quiet, still deep in thought. Patrick knows they are in the position for a while because his arm starts to cramp. He tries to stretch his hand just a little to get some relief. It doesn’t help but he never wants to move from this position ever again.

“Do you want to lie down together?”

Alright maybe he was okay with a change in position after all. Patrick hums in agreement and untangles himself from David only to reconnect with his body as soon as their heads hit the pillows. Patrick wraps an arm around David and brings his closer so they are face to face. He purposefully sticks his knee in-between David’s legs and conjoins their bodies closer. David seems more than content with the positioning, staring at Patrick with crinkled eyes.

“Alright your turn again. Tell me something traumatic and harrowing about yourself, Patrick Brewer.”

\---

“So once again, the plans were spoiled on my 25th birthday as well. Therefore, I still have never had my coveted surprise birthday party. It seems like the universe does not want me to have one.”

“You still want one even though the creepy clown showed up to your house a day early? That didn’t traumatize you?”

“I was un-phased. Clowns are not one of my fears.”

“Okay so what are you fears then?”

“Hmmm maybe… spiders?”

“Spiders? You have a fear of spiders?”

“Mhmm they are creepy.”

“So you’re telling me I will be having to do all the spider killing in this relationship?”

“Yes.”

“We are fucked.”

Patrick laughs for the thousandth time tonight and kisses David’s forehead for the hundreth.

How late is it anyways?, David contemplates for the first time tonight. They had been talking and cuddling for so long now that the thought of time hadn’t crossed his mind. David lifts his head off the pillow next to Patrick’s to search for a clock.

Patrick reads his mind. “No clock but I’m guessing it is far past your bed time.”

“I don’t think you want to experience me quite yet with giant bags under my eyes.”

Patrick removes his hand from David’s bicep where he had been lightly stroking his arm and brings it to swipe the delicate skin under David’s eye. David can’t help that his eyes flutter closed at the contact and he relaxes further into the bed. _This bed is comfortable_, David justifies to himself. He forces his eyes back open, a task within itself. Everything has been so warm since Patrick cocooned them in the fleece blanket and pulled him impossibly close, the breath between their quiet talking heating the air around them.

He wills his eyes to stay open and fixed on Patrick in front of him. He keeps the hand placed on David’s cheek. It feels too intimate but for once, he’s not feeling scared. In fact, his tired, delusional brain speaks for him. “I don’t usually talk about my past traumas and failed relationships on the second date.”

“Sooo usually not until the third date?”, Patrick teases. “And are we considering this a date?”

David nods his head against the pillow. “A revolutionary date at that.”

“Good word choice.” Patrick’s eyes crinkle at the sides and he maintains his content gaze on David’s. “I’m glad we talked about our pasts. I hate to get ahead of myself but…I think we have something here. And I think talking about all of our horrible life choices and traumatic histories may lead to something…good?”

_God he’s adorable. And a delirious romantic,_ David notes. He can’t find the voice to express himself anymore, too many vulnerable words and defenseless feelings for one night. Instead, he shuts his eyes and closes the distance between their lips.

It surprises David every time how they are not doing this 24/7. All the time. This is so damn good. _Oh right that’s probably my fault._ He tries not to think about it too much and enjoys the feeling.

The kiss stays soft and slow. Patrick keeps his hand on David’s face, gently pulling him into the kiss every time their lips part for a second, afraid that they may never meet again. David rests his hands on Patrick’s shoulder and pulls him the tiniest bit closer so Patrick’s knee between his legs is entirely surrounded by David. The old rickety bed creaks under the sound of their movements but neither seems to mind.

David would be surprised by Patrick gently biting down on his lip if it hadn’t been so gradual. Patrick was doing everything in slow motion and it was driving him a little insane. Patrick’s tongue lightly licks against his top lip, causing David to sigh into the kiss.

Their hands move lazily, finding new places to explore without purpose. David’s hands drift from shoulder to hair to waist to Patrick’s hand rested now on his neck. It’s only once both their movements have slowed to the point of limp fingers clasped together and unmoving lips barely touching does David open his eyes again.

Patrick keeps his eyes closed, a look of contentment and sleep on his face. Patrick can barely open his eyes, the roles reversed in fatigue. “You look tired.”

“I would glare at you but my eyes are too heavy to open,” Patrick whispers across David’s face.

He wants to stay forever and keep looking but has a nagging voice in the back of his brain is telling him he has greatly overstayed his welcome and Patrick is just far too nice to kick him out. “I should probably go,” David mewls without making any effort to get up and do such a thing.

The statement gets Patrick’s attention and he cracks one eye open. “Now look what you’ve done. I had to open my eye to glare at you anyways.”

“It’s so late.”

“Uh-huh.”

“And we have to work in the morning.”

“Yes.”

“And this is Ray’s house. That you share with him.”

“Correct.”

“Anddd I don’t want you to see me before 10 AM,” David fumbles for more reasons.

“I’ve actually seen you many times before 10 AM, David. We’ve shared a room together before, remember?”

“So that means you want me to stay?”

Patrick begrudgingly opens his other eye. “David, can we just go to sleep. All the talk about exes and Bridget Jones has made me sleepy. Let’s just cuddle and sleep and then kiss some more in the morning, okay?” He pulls another blanket up and over both of them and quickly closes his eyes and settles back into the bed.

How can David argue with that? “I always thought pillow talk would be a more romantic than this.”

Patrick grumbles but musters up the energy for a small smile. He blindly reaches out and pulls his head onto David’s chest. He rubs his head against David’s shirt and hums in satisfaction. “You make a good pillow.”

David allows his insecurities to quiet for now and revel in sleepy Patrick nuzzling against his chest. He swiftly turns out the lamp next to him, making sure not to move Patrick. He wraps his arms around him tightly.

With all his senses devoid of stimulus, David expects his fortified anxieties of the evening to appear in full force. He waits for the fear of telling Patrick about his past to catch up with him. He waits for the self-doubt for revealing pieces of himself to Patrick. He waits for his body to pull away and try to escape into the night before Patrick can awaken and realize his lack of interest in David. But the fear and doubts and self-sabotage never come. 

In fact, David feels… happy? David wonders if maybe, just maybe, Patrick is right. There is something here… something good.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David and Patrick continue taking big steps in their relationship. Set before and during S4 E6.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, friends! It seems like my uploads are just becoming further and further apart. I hope you guys think it’s worth it. Enjoy and thank you as always for kudos/comments and your amazing support!

David wakes up to a heavy feeling pressing down on his chest and a wet sensation at his neck. He can hear the soothing noise of rain striking a nearby window and the roof above him. None of it is familiar- not in the slightest. In fact, he should probably be jolting awake at the strangeness of it all. But he has an unexplained sense of security and he can’t bear to open his eyes yet.

The pressure on top of him shifts and the mysterious weight sighs into his clavicle. The wet sensation at his neck becomes more pointed and persistent, chasing the goosebumps rising on his skin. The noise of rain seems to fade away into the content, unwarranted sounds coming from his own mouth. David outwardly moans when the tongue lapping at his neck moves to press soft kisses to his face.

“I think I was promised morning kisses,” a gravely voice murmurs into his ear.

It all feels so nice that David refuses to open his eyes and ruin this dream. He nods to this figment of his imagination and hums in agreement. He is satisfied to feel the lips attach to his own, gently pecking at his closed mouth. David gladly parts his lips and lets the kiss deepen within seconds. The tongue that was once lightly tracing his neck is now slipping into his mouth and across his bottom lip.

David is only really starting to wake up when he hears what he could only describe as a growl resonate into his open mouth. The body on top of his own crawls between his legs, spreading David’s apart. David makes a surprised noise, opening his eyes for the first time today. And oh it is a sight to see.

Despite the lens of a rainy day cast onto the room, David can see Patrick above him in the darkness. His eyes are blown wide, looking into David’s with desperation. His hands are dug deep into the covers on either side of David’s head, fingers in a vice grip to stop them from wandering elsewhere. His breath is heavy against David’s face. He looks utterly and completely wrecked. And David loves it.

“Well good morning to you too, Patrick,” David says with a smirk directed at the man above him. He can’t help but revel in vocalizing Patrick’s name in this context.

Patrick just responds with a frustrated groan, diving back down to reconnect their lost lips. Patrick’s willpower flies out the window and his hands come up to grab at David. His one hand shoots up to David’s neck to pull him closer, while the other makes quick work in venturing under David’s shirt. The discovering hands from last night are now replaced with ravenous wonder, digging into David’s flesh. 

David grips back, his hands pulling on Patrick’s strong back to bring him further on top of him. David holds tighter every time Patrick inches a little bit further up his chest, his meandering hands still finding a way to go slow. His one hand eventually finds its way to David’s chest hair and David can feel the vibrations of Patrick’s wanton moan. David whines into Patrick’s mouth equally as loud when he feels Patrick’s fluttering fingertips graze against his nipple.

It still doesn’t feel like enough. David wraps his legs around Patrick’s middle and pulls him impossibly closer. He senses Patrick’s hesitation to rest his full weight against David but becomes quickly distracted when he pulls at Patrick’s hips to bring them against his own.

“Fuck, David” Patrick whispers harshly into his mouth.

David just about dies at the sound of his name on Patrick’s tongue. The thin material between his comfortable chic pajama outfit and Patrick’s sweatpants leave little to the imagination. David presses up into Patrick, trying to bring his hips up to meet the ones colliding down into him. David whimpers against their open mouths, their lips barely moving due to the lack of focus. He can hardly feel embarrassed when this feels _so _damn good.

A pull on David’s hair exposes his neck to Patrick who ferociously attacks with vigor as he grinds David down into the mattress. It’s enough to send David tumbling over the edge of self-control. He needs to feel more of Patrick this instant. He grips at the back of Patrick’s shirt and tugs upward in a rough motion. Patrick immediately detaches his lips from David’s exposed collarbone just long enough for David to pull the shirt the rest of the way up and over his head before bringing his mouth back down to David’s own.

David wastes no time in exploring, or rather clawing, at Patrick’s muscular back and chest. David’s fingertips tingle with anticipation and nerves. He pushes harder into Patrick’s skin to replace the numb prickly feeling with hot strong fingers. Patrick has resorted to panting above him, his hips stuttering against David’s. David is painfully turned on and he feels that Patrick is too. He can’t just lay here and torture the poor man. David reaches down to pull at Patrick’s pants and --

“Knock knock!” The words shatter their steamy bubble. David has never moved so quickly in his life as he detaches his legs from around Patrick and attempts to roll to the side. Patrick’s brain seems to be moving a little slower so David gives him one solid push to the other side of the bed. It really does nothing to hide what they are doing.

The door swings open and Ray smiles wide from the threshold. “Good morning, boys! Can I interest anyone in some coffee and waffles?” Ray seems unperturbed as he holds the door open.

In a state of humiliation, David can hardly respond. Patrick doesn’t seem to be doing much better. “Ray we uh really would appreciate some…privacy,” he stutters while pulling the covers up over his bare chest.

“Oh of course. I’m sure you will have built up quite an appetite after you satisfy another.” Ray winks and looks pleased with his comments despite the blank, annoyed stares of the two frustrated men in bed.

“Ray…”, Patrick pleads.

“Right right. So is that a yes to the waffles?”

“Yes”, David finally quips in as Patrick simultaneously says, “No.”

“10 waffles coming up!” Ray closes the door behind him, his presence still reverberating through the room. David does not even want to look over at Patrick, too afraid to see how fucked out they actually both look.

“Well that was mortifying”, he settles for with a thud back into the pillows.

The sound of the rain hitting the window pane is the only response he gets. David finally peeks a glimpse over at Patrick to see both his arms crossed over top his face.

“It’s okay, Patrick. I mean… it’s not okay. But he was either too oblivious to realize what was going on or he really only cares about feeding us waffles. Which I am very fine with either of those options.”

Patrick slowly slides his hands down his face in distress. “I’m so sorry, David.”

David just shrugs and moves closer to Patrick on the bed. “Like I said, at least I am getting waffles out of this embarrassing situation.”

“No I mean…”, Patrick searches for the words and finally looks at David. “You asked me to take it slow and I totally just pushed the boundaries. I didn’t even ask you if it was okay. And we haven’t really even had the chance to talk about any of this.”

David is taken aback for a second and physically separates himself from Patrick in response. He was not expecting that. Actually, he wasn’t really expecting any of this. How the hell did he get to the point where he is making out with Patrick in his bed? He still feels like this is one endless, long, beautiful dream. But Patrick’s distressed facial expression and distant body language is waking him right out of his slumber.

He collects himself and moves back in closer to Patrick’s exposed side. He places a hand under Patrick’s chin and lifts it so he is looking in his eyes. It only seems appropriate that he use Patrick’s move against him when he is radiating David’s self-doubting energy. Patrick looks back at him reluctantly.

“Patrick, when I said take it slow I meant it more in the… emotional sense of the phrase. Although I suppose we are kind of past that after our talk last night. And I mean the emotional does go hand-in-hand with the physical stuff but… what we did is totally fine with me. Actually more than fine. Like… really really good.”

Patrick does not look convinced but he has a twinkle in his eye with a desire to play back. “How good?”

David could lie and make him grovel but Patrick’s vulnerability makes him say otherwise. “It was hot.”

Patrick smirks and presses a smiling kiss to David’s cheek. “So you _are _okay with the pace of our relationship then?”

David feels a tingle run down his spine at the use of the word ‘relationship’. “Well I could have gone forever without you knowing about my awkward middle school dance experience. But… I’m glad we talked about it. And physically, I think we are in the same… situation.”

David takes the opportunity to scan his eyes over Patrick’s naked torso in front of him. His eyes land on the blanket gripped tightly in front of Patrick’s pants. He quirks an eyebrow at David. “So I could have spent last night kissing your exquisite body instead of talking about my ex?”

Another, more deliberate tingle runs through his spine and creeps up his scalp. How does he do this to him? “You could spend all day doing such things,” David offers. “That includes telling me more about how _exquisite_ my body is.”

A look crosses Patrick’s face- one that David does not have time to discern because Patrick is on him again in a second. He hikes a leg up between David’s and licks at David’s open, surprised lips. Despite the abruptness, the movements are still deliberate and tender. David instantly loses himself in Patrick.

The kiss only continues for another minute (at least that’s what David’s foggy brain believes) before Patrick is pulling back, causing David to whine at the lost of contact. David forces his eyes open to see why Patrick would possibly ever stop kissing him. He finds Patrick looking at him with a more serious expression than he is anticipating, his eyes boring into David’s.

“I want to touch you.”

David’s breath catches in his throat and he is only able to choke out a simple “Okay.”

Still hesitant on where they stand, Patrick continues, “Can I do that?”

“You can,” David says with a small nod.

With shaky but sure fingers, Patrick dives his hands underneath David’s shirt and caresses the skin around David’s stomach. He splays his hand across the hair on his abdomen and chest, relishing in the feeling of David. He traces a single finger from David’s navel to the line of his pants, driving David crazier by the second. David attempts to remain calm but his own hands are wandering and exploring Patrick’s exposed chest and that really isn’t doing anything to help. 

Annoyed and turned on, David sighs loudly with exasperation. Patrick’s attention is drawn away from his wandering fingers. He looks up with fear which quickly turns into amusement. His darkened eyes smile and he continues dragging his fingers up and around David’s back. “Something wrong?”

David glares, very much done with this game. “As nice as my body is with clothes on, I think you would like it much more with them off.”

Patrick just smiles to himself and runs his fingertips along David’s waist. “You want me to take your clothes off, David?” He sweeps his fingers to the front and grazes them across David’s chest.

Groaning in frustration, David wiggles on the bed in hopes to press Patrick’s hands further into his skin. “I always knew you would be a fucking tease.”

“Oh really? So you’ve thought about how I would be in bed?”, Patrick says, the amusement growing in his voice. He hikes David’s shirt up more and brings his mouth to David’s clavicle with continued deliberation.

David removes his hands from Patrick’s body and covers his eyes with his arms splayed across his face. He just sighs with exasperation, refusing to entertain Patrick’s delight.

“So when we were working together, you were thinking about me teasing you in my bed? Or when we held hands, you daydreamed about what else my hands could be doing to you?”, Patrick whispers into David’s body. He places light kisses down David’s chest, inching further and further down with each touch of his lips. He hesitates for a second and reaches up to pull David’s hand away from his hidden face, bringing it down to his side and sliding his own fingers between David’s. Patrick looks up sensually to make eye contact with David’s one exposed eye. He maintains his dark gaze as he slowly brings his open mouth down to attach to David’s nipple, lapping at the sensitive skin.

David’s face reddens and he feels his body simultaneously try to hide away and also push into the deliriously delicious feeling. But Patrick grabs his hips to keep him in place and chuckles. “Okay I’m sorry I’m sorry. I’ll stop.”

David wants to be angry about his own embarrassment but it’s hard to stay mad at Patrick when he is staring up at him so fondly and passionately. He leans in to kiss him on the lips and whisper “tease” against them.

Patrick takes that as his cue to stop messing around and do what he really wants. He leans back on his legs and tugs at David’s shirt, suddenly desperate to remove it. David is almost tempted to make it difficult for him as payback but really doesn’t have the willpower right now. He sits up and allows Patrick to pull the garment off in one quick motion.

He promptly brings his body closer to Patrick’s. Not only does he want to feel Patrick’s skin against his own, but he also wants to hide himself a little bit in fear that Patrick might not like what he sees. Patrick seems to catch on to it quickly though and separates their bodies slightly so he can look at David with unabashed desire.

His eyes wander up and down, along with his fingers. They travel lightly across his neck and down the hair on his chest. David feels self-conscious under his intense gaze, holding his breath in anticipation for the moment Patrick decides that maybe this isn’t what he wants after all.

Patrick’s hand motions still and he looks up at David with wide eyes. “David.”

“Mmm?”, David responds dumbly.

Silence. And then, “I’m really _really _gay.”

David can’t help the stifled laugh that emerges from his throat. “I think you’re supposed to tell me how beautiful I am or something when you see me naked. But I suppose I can accept that as a compliment,” he teases.

Patrick breaks his intense train of thought and flashes his boyish grin. “David Rose, you are very beautiful. Happy?”

“Very.” They collide back together and pick up where they left off before Ray had interrupted them. There is motivation behind the movements now. It takes little to no time before David is reaching for Patrick’s sweatpants, playing with the strings at the front in a questioning manner.

Patrick reluctantly pulls away, his breathing labored. “What about Ray?” The question does not align with Patrick’s facial expression and movements, his hands continuing to wander.

“Well… we have to build up our appetite for those pancakes, right? It would be unethical to stop now. For both the sake of Ray’s generous hospitality and my own sanity. That is…if you want to keep going?” David holds his breath as he plays with the strings between his fingers.

Patrick nods along enthusiastically to every ridiculous point David makes. “I want this. I want you”, Patrick squeezes their connected hands. Patrick delves back in to reattach their lips, letting thoughts of his pestering roommate, anxieties over sexuality, and concerns about firsts with David fade away with every kiss.

\---

Weeks later and Patrick was more than a little ecstatic to wake up next to David. They didn’t always have these chances to “connect”, as David would say. Between David’s family at the motel, Ray’s constant presence, and not a single other private place to go in town, the two considered the alone time they spent together as a precious gift.

Thankfully, Ray had recently found himself on his latest business venture into some new form of goat yoga. And even more fortunate for them, any kind of yoga research and goat investments occurred far outside of town. As a result, Patrick had the pleasure of waking up next to David this morning for the third day in a row.

David is pressed up behind him, his slow breathing tickling the hair on his neck. David’s arm is loosely thrown over Patrick’s hip. Patrick keeps his eyes closed as he brings both his hands up to hold the ones resting on his body. He tugs just slightly so that David’s sleep deprived body will move just a little bit closer.

Patrick thinks about ‘a little bit closer’. He can’t ever seem to get enough- can’t ever seem to be close enough. Even pressed skin to skin with David leaves more to be desired. He needs more. And it’s shocking to him that even after three days of being side by side with the same man in the morning, at work, and laying down to sleep at night, he still wants more.

The hand at his hip squeezes slightly and David nuzzles into Patrick’s back with a sigh. Not wanting to miss another second of David, Patrick slowly maneuvers his body around so he is facing him. David barely stirs besides a small facial grimace; Patrick finds it adorable how expressive David is even in his sleep. He places David’s hand gently back on his hip and plants his body square against David’s chest.

He should let him sleep but it’s too tempting not to stir him awake. He presses a small kiss to the tip of David’s nose which scrunches up under the touch. He continues to plant his lips on the surrounding areas, leaving no inch of skin untouched.

Groaning, David keeps his eyes closed. “I thought we agreed to no more kissing in the morning after the 3rd incident with Ray.”

Patrick smiles into David’s neck as he continues, unrelenting. “We did. But I think we can veto that rule when Ray isn’t here.”

David peeks his one eye open in realization. “Well good morning to you too, then.” He leans forward and catches Patrick’s lips with his own. Patrick wastes no time in pulling David’s pliant body on top of him, relishing in the feeling of David’s weight pushing him into the bed.

Patrick is still figuring out what he likes and verbalizing what he enjoys. The truth of the matter is, he likes everything he does with David. Everything about David. And that’s just about the most shocking thing for Patrick to have in a sexual relationship.

Their first sexual encounter only a few weeks ago was the catalyst for progressively more intense and daunting encounters. And despite both their desires to do it all, they were still finding ways to take things slow and enjoy the novelty of it all. It helped that David always made them talk about their experiences after, even when Patrick would much rather drift off to sleep.

Patrick’s mind wanders to the events of last night. They had laid in bed, separated by the sheets and their thoughts. Patrick had stared at the ceiling, willing his brain to quiet.

_“I can hear you thinking from here. You’re stealing my thunder,” David joked. _

_Patrick continued his gaze upwards, refusing to look at David right now. David notices. _

_“Patrick, can I hold your hand?” David always liked to ask if he could touch him after they tried something new in bed. Patrick always teased him for it. ‘You just touched my dick, David. Pretty sure you can hold my hand’, he would bite back. But right then, he started to understand why David had made a habit of asking. David felt far away and Patrick was over-thinking. Patrick was only able to nod, hoping David was searching through the dark to see his response. _

_Nonetheless, Patrick still jumped slightly when he felt the hand on his own. It was soft and gentle and it took its time entering his space. Patrick appreciated it more than he could verbalize. _

_“Did you not enjoy that?”, David had asked so quietly. _

_Patrick was quiet for a while. He hoped that David didn’t take that as an answer. “I enjoyed it. A lot.”_

_Patrick could practically hear the gears turning in David’s brain, trying to decode the unexplained shift in demeanor. “Okay…”. He didn’t continue. He waited for Patrick to finish his thoughts in case he had more to say. He did. _

_“Sometimes when we do…things,” Patrick said awkwardly, still figuring out how to talk about sex without sounding like a teenager. “I feel… guilty. Like maybe I shouldn’t like it. But also, sad because it’s taken me so long to do it. Which is a total contradiction I realize. But I think that’s probably why my brain isn’t working. I don’t know how to explain it.”_

_David soothed his hand over Patrick’s and let the comments hang there for a second. “It makes sense. Sex can bring out complicated feelings.” David was always so good at talking about their sexual relationship. He was trying to teach Patrick to do the same. “It must be hard not having those experiences for all your life and then realizing that it’s exactly what you’ve wanted all along.” _

_And he always verbalized exactly what Patrick could not express. Patrick was thankful that David had a way with words. He nodded and finally turned to lay on his side and stare at David who carried on. “And then to battle with the idea that the things you do like to do are ‘wrong’. It’s scary and confusing.”_

_Right. Yes. “Yeah”, is all Patrick squeaks out. He sits with his thoughts for a minute, letting David’s hand sooth him. He finally looked up into David’s intense and hesitant features. “Just so we are clear. I really really liked that.”_

_David smirked. “So you are telling me you want to eat you out again?”_

_A way with words… that happened to be very crude. “David,” he groaned, turning his face into the pillow to hide his blush. _

_“Oh sorry. Do you want me to rim you again?”_

_“David!” Patrick flipped over to lie on his stomach and sank into the blankets to hide from David’s teasing voice. _

_“Do you prefer the colloquialisms. Toss your salad?”_

_David lifted his head to bring the pillow from beneath him and hit David square in his smug, laughing face. David continued giggling and reveled in the sight of Patrick’s tinted cheeks and fond expression after a tiny “I hate you”. _

_David grabbed for Patrick and brought him onto his chest. He wrapped an arm around him and stroked up and down his bicep. “I’m sorry. You are just so fun to tease. I promise talking about sex will get easier.”_

_Patrick appreciated that. He appreciates David. “I know.” He leaned his head into David’s side. “You can definitely eat my ass again, David.”_

_David sputters and then laughs. “Now?” he said hopefully. _

_“It might take my mind off things,” Patrick said innocently. That’s all he had to say for David to dive back under the covers. _

The two continue to kiss slowly until Patrick’s alarm sounds from beside the bed, interrupting his daydream and their morning exploration. He unwillingly pulls away and turns off the alarm.

“Can’t we just stay in bed all day? Ray will only be gone for two more days. I need to optimize my time with you now.”

“We have a store to open, David.”

“Sure. Right. But what if I wanted to repeat last night and go for three rounds this time?” He wiggles his eyebrows in Patrick’s direction.

“Are you trying to kill me?”, Patrick asks fondly before leaning in to kiss David’s forehead and jump out of bed.

“With sex? Yes. 100%.”

“It’s working. Now how do we feel about eggs and bacon for breakfast?”

“I would much rather eat you,” David mumbled, still half-sleeping but fully serious.

Patrick rolls his eyes and starts towards the door. “I’m coming back in 10 minutes with coffee and food.”

“Did you say cumming?”, David quipped.

Patrick picked up a throw pillow from the ground and chucked it at David. The routine was becoming more and more familiar between the two. He could get used to it.

Unfortunately, the blissful energy from the morning did not follow them to the store. Eggs, bacon, and talks of sex were long out of their minds as they sat inside the empty shop later that day. David stared at the door with dismay, his leg pressed against Patrick’s where he sit atop the desk. Patrick’s voice cuts through the tension in the air.

“Okay I’m gonna say it. We’ve been open for three hours now, and not a single customer’s walked through that door.”

David looks around for an excuse and argues against every one of Patrick’s concerns to avoid the problem at hand. But it’s becoming increasingly clear that Patrick has a point. After an extended back and forth, something seems to click in Patrick’s mind. “You remember our opening day here?”

“Yes! It was opening day and there was booze and people are drunks,” David argues.

“Yes but they still showed up. We need to do something to make this store feel a little bit more accessible, a little bit more inclusive.”

David grimaces, finding it more than a little difficult to admit when Patrick is right. “Okay. Well I am open to suggestions.”

“What if we hosted an open mic night?”

David scowls. “I am open to suggestions.”

“I actually used to host one in high school. There was a little cafe around the corner from my house. It had a little stage in back. It actually drew a pretty big crowd,” Patrick says with assurance and reminiscent-lit eyes.

“Okay so there was a point at which you and some of your fellow amateur singer-songwriters would gather and perform poetry and songs for one another?” David looks appalled.

“That’s right.”

“Oh god.”

“The occasional improv group would stop by.”

“Im um… I’m feeling kind of ill.” David backs away and pulls at his sweater to let some air past the thick wool.

“David you can laugh now but an open mic night can be a surprising amount of fun. Worst case scenario, we get some people in the store.”

“Okay no worst case scenario. I watch improv.”

Patrick pulls at David’s hips and brings him in between his legs. Without warning, he dips his head down and presses his lips square against David’s. They had pretty much made it a rule that the store was a PDA-free zone but sometimes the honeymoon phase was too powerful and they couldn’t exactly control their actions. David melts into his lips and kisses back, almost forgetting why he was annoyed with Patrick in the first place.

That is, until Patrick is pulling away and pushing himself off the counter. “I’m going to go get some coffee.”

“But… the store just opened.” _And I want to kiss you more. _

Patrick takes a long purposeful glance at the empty store. “I’m sure you can handle it, David.”

\---

When Patrick does return, he has a lot more than just coffee with him- a permit for the following day and unsubstantiated confidence in his plan. He also carries an instrument that David can only describe as a mid-evil torture device.

“Oh god. Um what's that-what's that?”

“This is called an acoustic guitar.”

David vaguely remembers Patrick mentioning the instrument to him a lifetime ago when David had questioned his 2000s music obsession and nonsensical requirement for guitars in all songs. “Right. Okay, when we were talking about the open mic night, I thought that you would be hosting it, not performing at it.”

“Well, traditionally the host plays at least one song, so.”

_Don’t panic._ “Right. Okay. So then you will be playing your acoustic guitar in front of people then, in public.”

“And singing a song.”

_Okay you can panic slightly. _“And singing a song.”

“I was thinking about singing an original song.”

_Or a lot._ “An original song?”

“But then I thought you know, it's probably best just to stick with a classic.”

_Just at least control what your face is doing. _“Yeah. Classic.”

Patrick hesitates. “So I'm sensing some apprehension.”

“No, I think it's, you know, it's not scary or embarrassing for the person you're dating to sing at you with an acoustic guitar in front of people. I think that's cool.”

“David, you're gonna be fine. It's just a way to get some people in the store, okay?”

Usually Patrick’s words of assurance created a semblance of serenity within him but David still has a sense of uneasiness. “Yeah. Yes, for sure. I mean, if you are, confident to put yourself and our relationship at risk like that, then I am 87% behind you.”

“Good to know. So now the only question is do I wear my fringed vest?”

_Asshole._ “Okay.”

“Or more importantly, do I wear anything under it?”

_I hate him. _“Okay.”

Patrick disappears into the back, strumming at his guitar as David silently panics. _Maybe if I tear up this license, it will be impossible to have the open mic night?,_ he ponders.

When Patrick reappears, the guitar is replaced by his phone which he is deliberately scrolling through. “ So are you telling me you _don’t_ want me to sing Banana Pancakes for you?”

“Stop”, David groans, attempting to walk away but only to be caught up in Patrick’s arms barricading him to the desk.

“You prefer Mmm-Bop then?”, Patrick teases with the most serious tone that he can muster.

“I swear to god…”

“Drops of Jupiter? You enjoyed when I sang it to you the first time.”

“I would like to go on record and say that I will not substantiate that lie. I just happened to catch you singing by yourself and you unfortunately decided to carry on with the mortifying performance.”

“Okay. How about…,” Patrick holds the note at the end of the word, searching for something in front of him.

He follows Patrick’s gaze to the phone his eyes are glued to. “What are you looking at?”

Unexpectedly, Patrick’s cheeks turn pink and he appears slightly flustered. “I uh am looking through our playlist.”

“Our playlist?,” David says skeptically.

Patrick clears his throat but smiles through his timidness. “Yeah. I made a playlist of all the songs that remind me of us. Or well… songs that we listened to together.”

When David is still looking at him confused, Patrick carries on. “Like um Wonderwall. You were attempting to teach me how to dance. Right in this very spot, actually. And apparently my dancing wasn’t ‘David approved’ but I was pretty happy just to have you as my instructor.”

David stares at him fondly. “I am basically a world-renowned dance teacher. What else is there?”

Patrick scrolls through and smiles as the memories hit him one by one. “Well it took me forever to find it but I actually was able to find that song from the club the night we went out together for the first time. And we danced… a lot. And it was basically one of the best moments in my entire life,” Patrick says sincerely. “It didn’t help that the song was in Spanish and I was totally wasted. Thankfully Stevie helped me find it.”

“That’s shocking,” David quips with the least bit of assurance in Stevie. David feels a smile tug at the corner of his lips despite his unwavering anxiety. “There better be some Mariah on there.”

“It’s half the playlist, David.”

\---

The guitar in his hand is starting to feel heavy, along with his drooping eyes staring at the playlist on his phone that reads 2 AM. After kissing David goodnight, Patrick snuck down the stairs into the empty living room below, knowing full well that David would not be waking up anytime soon.

After strumming through far too many versions of Better Together and every Mariah Carey song imaginable, Patrick sinks back into the couch in frustration._What if I did a Christmas song as an ode to “The Number”? Singing “Always Be My Baby” is too basic, right?_

He scrolls through the playlist for the 10th time, praying for the perfect song to miraculously appear. The list had accumulated over one hundred songs at this point, most of which occurred in moments that probably appeared fleeting or insignificant to anyone else besides Patrick.

He presses play on ‘Iris’. Patrick guesses David wouldn’t even recall the significance of the song besides agreeing it is a beautiful 90’s tune. But Patrick remembers the melody coursing through his veins on the Ferris wheel on the chilly night months ago. It had played softly behind the scene that unfolded. And Patrick had finally felt the courage to hold David’s hand in his own, no alcohol or panic attacks required.

His finger keep gliding until they land on ‘Crazy in Love’. He had been listening to the lyrics while getting ready for work after a long night of talking to a very high David. He remembered thinking how love songs never seemed to apply to him. He always assumed that music was meant to hyberbolize those feelings. But with David, the love songs don’t even scratch the surface on his own feelings.

Clicking on ‘The Power of Love’, Patrick’s brain is taken back to the first road trip they shared together after their drunken night out. David had opened up to him- told him about how he had never loved or been loved by anyone. He said he didn’t believe in it. Patrick can’t help but wonder if he still feels that way now.

The memories of that day come rushing back, conjuring up more songs to the forefront of his brain. _Oh. _Patrick starts scrolling furiously through the list to find the one song that he somehow seemed to gloss over through his search. He taps on the song hidden between another Jack Johnson song and a collection of Coldplay. The melody fills the room and Patrick feels a smile instantly cross his face.

Patrick recalls so vividly listening to the song on the way home from their road-trip. David had insisted on playing his own music but fell asleep almost instantaneously, snoring softly against the passenger door. Patrick found it difficult to stay focused on the road when David looked so cute inches away from him.

Tonight, he hums along, remembering how he had whispered those same words to David from across the space in the car. Patrick could only dream that one day he would be able to verbalize such words and prove to David he was meant to be loved and cared for. At the time, it seemed impossible and he was more than willing to settle for just one deep conversation in the front of his car. But now, Patrick wants more.

Patrick pauses the song and begins to strum a few chords. It occurs to him that creating this rendition may take a while and it would be far easier to just find an acoustic song that already exists. But now the lyrics are repeating in his head and he just keeps picturing David’s tired face squished up against the side of his car window. He has to say these words out loud.

Patrick’s fingers dance over the strings and his voice becomes quieter, suddenly fearful that David will hear the words before he is ready to sing them. “You’re simply the best. Better than all the rest.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo I was going back and forth on whether I would write smut for this fic or not. I decided against it BUT I am thinking about possibly maybe doing a one shot fic of that night (if it’s something you guys would be interested in reading?). Also most of the songs referred to in this chapter are references to previous moments in this fic. If you want a reference to when “Simply the Best” was introduced (because it was soooo long ago), you can read the end of chapter two!


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Open Mic Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are still around, thank you! It will be a miracle if I finish this story before the actual show ends. I know it’s been done a million times before, but here’s my version of Open Mic Night with the Patrick and David of this universe. Enjoy!

The smell of coffee and cinnamon stirs David awake. His tired brain can’t fathom why such smells are evading his senses so early in the morning but he isn’t going to complain. He reaches over to grab for Patrick and pull him in closer only to find empty space and cold sheets. The lack of sensation causes David to instantly open his eyes, searching for the person he had come accustomed to waking up next to over the last few days.

Rather than instantly panic, David accepts that the wonderful smells are probably a result of his caring… boyfriend? He isn’t sure. They hadn’t exactly put a label to this relationship. Or even had a conversation about it. And David wasn’t too familiar with having a boyfriend. Is this what it felt like? Waking up and expecting them at your side? Never getting tired of their presence? He doesn’t know but it seems like how one would feel about a boyfriend.

Begrudgingly, David crawls out of bed and grabs his silk robe which had found its way to the hook on the back of Patrick’s door. The robe had been hanging there since last week when David came over after a particularly awful day. Patrick had instructed David to bring his pajamas, skincare products, and tense back for a nice massage. David liked to explain away the fact that he was now keeping clothes at Patrick’s house. After all, he has two of these robes- one of them mine as well be at the other place he occasionally stays at.

Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, David makes his way down the stairs and into the kitchen. Patrick has his back faced towards David, guitar in hand and strumming along as he looks attentively at his phone. Despite how much that terrifies him, the two coffee cups and plate of pancakes on the counter makes David almost forget about his apprehension. David pads up behind Patrick and wraps his arms around his middle. Patrick jumps slightly at the contact and quickly pockets the phone before holding David’s arms under his own.

“Please tell me you didn’t hear that.”

“I am doing everything I can to block out the fact that you are performing tonight. So no, I did not.”

Patrick’s fingers drag up and down over David’s forearms. “Are you still anxious about me singing?”

He notes the sound of disappointment in Patrick’s voice, convincing David to tone down his lack of enthusiasm. “Not…anxious. Just simply petrified to be embarrassed.”

Patrick laughs and the sound continues to sooth the nerves that won’t seem to relax. “You won’t be embarrassed, David.”

“I am easily mortified.”

Patrick turns around in David’s grasp, wrapping his arms around his neck. Patrick looks at him with so much fondness that David can’t help but let the sheepish look wash away from his face and be replaced with a genuine smile. _Damn him. _

“Can I ease your mind with some coffee and breakfast?”

“You can try.”

Patrick stands slightly on his tip-toes to gently kiss David on the lips. David’s heart warms and a feeling of weightlessness makes him dizzy with the soft touch. Patrick pulls away just as quickly as the kiss begins and squeezes out of David’s dazed hold. He hands David a cup of coffee and motions to the table next to him.

David gladly accepts and takes a sip of his perfectly made coffee with just the right amount of sugar and cream. “What kind of pancakes did you make?”

Patrick gives him a knowing and smug smirk as he picks up his guitar. “Guess.”

David chokes on the coffee. “_Really_, Patrick?”

He shrugs, clearly satisfied with himself. “Well if you won’t let me sing it to you, you should still enjoy some _banana pancakes._” He strums a few notes to the beginning of the recognizable song.

David outwardly groans and scrunches his face up in disgust as Patrick continues the melody on his guitar. “This is not helping the anxiety.”

“I’m just trying to help you relax baby.”

“We are _not_ doing baby.”

Patrick ignores him and starts singing.

** **Can’t you see that it’s just raining. Ain’t no need to go outside** **

“It’s not raining and we have a store to open,” David scorns.

** **But baby you hardly even notice** **

** **Wakin’ up too early. Maybe we could sleep in. Make you banana pancakes** **

He stops his strumming and gestures to the untouched plate in front of David. David looks on in pure disdain as he watches on.

** **Pretend like its the weekend now** **

“It’s not…”

** **We could pretend it all the time. Can’t you see that it’s just raining ** **

“It’s actually very sunny out.”

** **There ain’t no need to go outside** **

David rolls his eyes and adjusts his attention to the pancakes in front of him.It’s not like he is going to pass up on eating them just because his…"boyfriend?” is being an idiot. David grabs for the syrup and pours a generous amount over his pancakes and digs in while simultaneously ignoring the singing man in front of him.

** **Halaka ukulele mama made a baby. Really don't mind the practice cause you're my little lady** **

“That’s offensive”, David points his fork at him as he stuffs his face.

David hates to admit it but Patrick’s voice is actually really nice. Like smooth butter. And it is surprisingly soothing. And not terrible at all. But he refuses to give Patrick that self-satisfaction. So he carries on eating his pancakes as Patrick stands in front of him with his serenade.

Patrick sits down in the seat next to David, singing the final verse and strumming effortlessly on his torture device. He keeps trying to get David to look him in the eye but David focuses in on his plate. Patrick giggles in between lines, clearly enjoying himself very much.

** **Can’t you see that it’s just raining?** **

A pause in the music and he feels Patrick reaching his hand out to wipe some syrup off David’s chin with an unfiltered, teeth-grinning smile. David can’t resist that and leans his head into his palm, staring as Patrick finishes the song.

** **Ain’t no need, ain’t no need** **

** **Rain all day and I really really really don’t mind** **

** **Can’t you see? Can’t you see? ** **

** **We gotta wake up slow** **

He strums the guitar dramatically one last time and stops. He takes an unsolicited bow and places the guitar against the counter, smiling at David with a hopeful grin.

David clears his throat and sets down his fork. “Alright well now that that’s over and you have that out of your system, you don’t have to play tonight. Right?”

Patrick sits down next to David and grabs for the syrup to pour over his own pancakes in the most casual demeanor possible, as if he didn’t just charm David with breakfast and a corny song. “Oh I’m still playing tonight, David. And it’s going to be even better than this.”

“You think this is helping but you’re actually making it so much worse.”

Patrick holds his teasing demeanor and reaches for David’s free hand. “I would never do anything that I thought you would actually hate. Or get anxiety from. I promise.”

He feels warm and the smile he so badly wants to suppress escapes his lips and travels to his eyes. And maybe it’s the taste of the sweet food on his tongue or Patrick’s fingers stroking the side of his hand but David thinks that this feels like home. And it scares him a lot less than he ever could have imagined. “You better not mention my name during your performance. The fans will have a field day.”

“Fans?”

“Yes. The people love us together. The masses want to know all the details.”

“Mmm okay I’ll keep that in mind”, he says with a doting smile. Patrick squeezes his hand once more and leans forward to kiss David on the cheek.

David can’t get the word out of his mind. _Home_.

\---

Patrick watches from the back room as a flow of people filter into the store. He is grabbing more drink tickets that they inevitably needed shortly after the doors opened. Things were already looking like a success. But Patrick can’t help but feel nerves creeping into his stomach. He rings his hands together and looks at David leaning against the counter, chatting with customers but clearly looking uncomfortable to Patrick’s trained eyes.

Patrick had performed in front of audiences many times before so it seemed ridiculous to him that he could possibly be nervous. But for some reason, watching David from across the room was making his heart leap into his throat; he fears that maybe he will suffocate on the words he so badly wants to sing. Wiping the sweat from his palms onto his jeans, Patrick grabs the guitar and makes his way over to David.

Mustering up his best brave face, Patrick composes himself as he stands next to David. “You see? You see what I told you? This is all it took to get people out on a work night.”

David renders an apathetic look. “Yup, a lot of people are shopping and drinking. I don't even know if we need to do the open mic part.”

The cute bashfulness crossing David’s face makes Patrick want to kiss him right here in front of the entire crowd. “Oh, we need the open mic part.”

“Do we?”, David quadruple checks.

“Yeah,” Patrick says with reassurance. Before he can second guess his own words, he brushes past David and towards the stage, hearing a distant sigh behind him.

“Hey, I think we're going to uh, get things started here. How’s everybody doing?” The crowd cheers and alleviates his anxiety just a little bit. “Awesome. Thanks so much for coming to uh what I hope will be the first of many open mic nights here at the Rose Apothecary.”

He looks over to see David sinking into his shirt in an attempt to disappear. But the uncharacteristically bright red and orange top does nothing to hide David from Patrick’s gaze and attention. “Um, David and I are so excited you could all come.” He carries on pumping up the crowd. “I'm going to uh, I guess I'm gonna get the party started, right after I tune up this little baby.”

Patrick’s mind wanders back to the morning where he had breezily called David ‘baby’, causing him to become flustered. _David is probably dying of embarrassment by now,_ Patrick considers. But he can’t help but feel a little twinge of success at making David squirm. He really can’t deny himself of that pleasure in any given situation.

He looks up to see David’s arms crossed over his chest as if to protect his heart from Patrick. The gesture is commonplace when it came to David. Patrick spent all of his time in Schitt’s Creek trying to break down those walls- convince David to let his arms fall to his side and open them to Patrick.

Patrick just wants to yell from across the room and tell him that his heart is safe. _I’ve got you. Maybe this is the wrong way to do it. Is it the wrong way to do it? We aren’t even officially boyfriends yet. But that word seems arbitrary compared to what we really are? Am I making a mistake?,_ Patrick’s mind spins.

He absently tunes the guitar as his thoughts continue. No- this is how he wants David to know. For David to realize and open up his heart to what he has feared for so long. For Patrick to admit to himself what _he_ has known for so long. His arm glides down all the strings as they resonate a perfect scale.

Stepping back up to the mic, Patrick knows what he wants. He knows how he feels. “All right, um I would like to dedicate this song to a very special someone in my life.” Should he do it? Yeah… he is gonna do it. “David Rose.”

He watches David sink back further into the table behind him, red creeping up his neck. He looks too adorable and Patrick could definitely carry on just doing this the rest of the night. “There he is, right there. That's him. Can't miss him.”

Patrick is sure of himself. Taking a deep breath, he starts playing the song he had promised himself would sing to David so long ago. He had practiced it so many times the night prior that his fingers easily find the chords and his only focus is on the unrivaled man staring back at him.

** **I call you when I need you and my heart’s on fire** **

** **You come to me wild and wired** **

** **Oh you come to me, give me everything I need** **

It’s not hard to think of all ways David has given him what he needs. David talking to him late into the night. David helping him through a weed-induced panic attack. David listening to and accepting his past. He wants to focus on the song and avoid becoming an emotional mess. But Patrick reminiscences on their road-trip discussion. He had already known how he felt back then.

_Patrick chuckles. “Are you sure its not because you are such a true romantic at heart?”_

_David scoffs. “Definitely not. Pretty sure you have to believe in that stuff to enjoy it.”_

_“That stuff?”_

_“Yeah you know, like, people loving each other and stuff.”_

_“People loving each other and stuff? Hmm. And by that do you just mean love in general?”_

_“I guess so. I am not well-versed in those emotions.”_

** **Give me a lifetime of promises and a world of dreams ** **

** **Speak the language of love like you know what it means** **

_Patrick pauses for a second. A question forms at the front of his mind and he can’t bring himself to push it away. He wants to understand and is not sure when the conversation will present itself again. “You’ve never been in love?”, he asks as a question but it comes across more as an observational comment. _

_Patrick watches David’s face closely. He seems to flash between various different emotions before calculating a response. “No. I’ve never had all of that before”, David waves his right hand around in the air describing ‘that’. “I don’t think I am meant to be someone who falls in love… or is loved.” _

** **Mm, and it can't be wrong, take my heart and make it strong** **

** **You're simply the best, better than all the rest** **

** **Better than anyone, anyone I’ve ever met** **

** **I'm stuck on your heart, I hang on every word you say** **

** **Tear us apart, baby I would rather be dead** **

_“You have people who love you”. Me, Patrick wants to say._

He loves David Rose. He’s never been more sure of anything in entire his life.  
  
\---

David sinks his back into the counter and hopes it will somehow open into some parallel universe and swallow him whole. Why did Patrick have to do this to him? And his mother was not helping in the slightest.

“Oh dear, you're awfully brave allowing your beau to indulge himself like this.”

Ugh. “Okay, this was not my idea.”

Patrick starts speaking and David feels himself shrinking further and further into his sweater. He chose the wrong day to wear a bright color, making it impossibly difficult to fade into his usual darkness.

“All right, um I would like to dedicate this song to a very special someone in my life,” Patrick murmurs into the mic.

He better not.

“David Rose.”

That fucker.

“There he is, right there. That's him. Can't miss him.”

He utterly hates him.

“You'll let me know if I should pull the fire alarm?,” his mother is saying next to him unhelpfully.

Maybe he chose this color because he knew the flames from his spontaneous combustion would pair well with the outfit theme, he ponders as Patrick begins to play. His brain is still trying to comprehend the insanity of the situation and the audacity of Patrick.

However, the flames of embarrassment and anger morph into something completely different under Patrick’s gaze. The weight of the words he’s singing are slowly sinking in and he can’t breath. And for once, it feels so good.

He must look enamored or shocked or something totally unlike himself. He feels his mother’s hand on his shoulder but he barely comprehends it. All he can focus on is Patrick singing to him. His singing is coming out at an even volume but for some reason it sounds like a whisper to David. Like some shared secret between them.

** **In your heart I see the start of every night and every day** **

** **In your eyes I get lost, I get washed away** **

David shakes his head a little, trying to keep his eyes dry and his pride intact. And he desperately wants to hold onto his own mistrust and nonchalance. But something is pulling him back to a memory. A time when he so desperately fought to maintain his cold demeanor. To not give into his feelings.

_The ride starts to move upwards and Patrick takes this opportunity to re-position. His legs straddle between David’s, their knees pressed against one another. Patrick takes David’s left hand and squeezes it between his right, holding their clasped hands on their touching knees. _

_David’s heart is now racing for an entirely different reason. He opens his digits slightly, inviting Patrick to intertwine their fingers. Patrick doesn’t hesitate as he slips his fingers between David’s and rubs his thumb along David’s. David feels safe- something he didn’t often feel…especially on top of an old, rickety fair ride. _

_“This okay?” Patrick asks, catching David off-guard. He realizes he must have been staring intensely at the held hands. _

_“Well you did promise it so you can’t take it back now.” _

_Patrick smiles and looks out over the small festival. David is enraptured in a different view, not wanting for one second to peel his eyes away from the man in front of him. His instincts are causing his fingers to twitch with a desire to pull away from the softness and the happiness._ ** **

** **Just as long here in your arms I could be in no better place** **

** **You're simply the best, better than all the rest** **

** **Better than anyone, anyone I ever met** **

_“Okay come on. Let’s get a picture. We will take it together.” _

_Patrick snaps a few selfies, their clasped hands just out of the picture frame. David wonders if he wants to hide the intimate gesture or if it is purely coincidental. All too soon, Patrick is pulling away and sitting back in the bench. He wears a soft smile as he sifts through the pictures. _

_“I like it, bad lighting and all,” Patrick says as he flips the phone towards David. _

_Patrick is correct- the lighting is bad. But David notices how happy he looks. How happy they both look. And the way their heads lean in naturally towards one another. And maybe he feels a little happy to know they have a small secret hidden beneath the edges of the picture. David wonders if this is what ‘cozy’ looks like. He loves it. _

** **I'm stuck on your heart, I hang on every word you say** **

** **Tear us apart, baby I would rather be dead** **

** **Ohhh you’re the best** **

_Patrick doesn’t hesitate for a second to reach back over and place his right hand in David’s waiting one. “Still scared?”_

_Scared of these feelings. Frightened of this relationship with Patrick. Terrified for his happiness. The Ferris wheel seems like a small feat at this point. “A little”, David shrugs. He looks out, the world spinning past him. He knows they can’t be here much longer so he sinks into the silence and the confusion and fear and squeezes Patrick’s hands tighter. Patrick squeezes back. _

The song comes to an end before David can work through the feelings he is having. His hands are clapping and his cheeks hurt from the smiling and maybe a few lose tears puddle in the corner of his eyes. All that he knows is he is not that person anymore. He is not scared.

\---

Patrick doesn’t walk off stage. He floats. Descending back down to reality as he presents the next performer and places his guitar behind him. He feels dazed. The awareness of his feelings simultaneously startling and pacifying. He finds David’s gaze, the only thing that can keep him in the clouds and bring him back to Earth at the same time.

David is staring at him so intensely, his eyes piercing and beautiful. And Patrick has a second of panic where he thinks that maybe David hated his performance. But no- David was happy. David was clapping. David looks like maybe he is also experiencing a shift in his world’s rotation.

He stays at the side of the stage, trying to maintain his good host status. But the longer he stands there, the more he can feel himself being propelled into David’s gravitational pull and all he wants to do is collide with him.

Loosely paying attention to Twyla’s rendition of “Before He Cheats”, Patrick feels a buzz in his pocket.

** **I didn’t take you for a Tina Turner fan** **

Patrick smiles down at his phone and looks up to search for David’s eyes that are already staring back at him. His breath catches in his throat at the sight.

_Tina Turner is a gem_

_And the song describes how I feel about you very accurately _

He hits send and quickly looks up to see David’s reaction from across the store. David’s face remains un-moving as he reads the message. He is hesitant with his response, the dots appearing and re-appearing multiple times before a message comes through.

** **I think you’re the best ** **

It’s not lost on Patrick how uncharacteristically romantic of a statement it is coming from David. He looks up and smiles unabashed at David’s suddenly timid demeanor.

_So I take it you liked the singing?_

David glares at him from across the room and rolls his eyes.

** **Don’t think we are making this a regular thing** **

_Oh we are so making this a regular thing_

** **It was equal parts horrifying and romantic ** **

_50/50?! Come on. Give me at least 70/30?_

** **Alright 60/40 in favor of horrifying ** **

Patrick is now the one rolling his eyes but trying to contain his smile.

_Okay fine no more grand gestures_

The messages stop for a minute and Patrick looks up to make sure David is okay. He is staring intensely back at him with a look that Patrick has seen so rarely. And he is not even sure what it is. They keep their eyes trained on one another until David breaks his stare and immediately starts typing.

** **I really want to kiss you now** **

It makes his heart stop. Kissing David was typical at this point but for some reason, hearing David say it could send him to a different universe. The messages don’t stop there.

** **I want to be alone with you. I wish it was just us here ** **

Oh. Well now Patrick’s heart was definitely racing.

_Me too, David_

_Soon _

He looks back up to see a dark look cross David’s eyes. God. Why did he want to have an open mic night again? And there were still… 6 people left to perform. He might die before then. He hears clapping around him and he quickly pockets his phone and pretends like he is not totally head over heels in love.

The rest of the night is achingly slow. Patrick tries to stay focused and remain a good host but he keeps finding David’s dark wide eyes raking up his body from across the room and he swears he can literally palpate the tension between them.

It’s no coincidence that David is quick to rush people out the door at the closing of the event. David has never been so fast to offer help with cleaning up people’s drinks and folding up chairs. The tension only increases and Patrick believes their might be a full blown supernova explosion before they even get out of this store. Somehow their trajectories don’t cross until the last person is exiting the building.

David flips the sign to closed and slowly turns around. It takes one, two, three steps across the floor for David to reach Patrick and finally _finally_ propel into one another’s orbits. David’s mouth is on him in a second and their hands are reaching to find anything to grab on to.

With David touching him, Patrick has little control of his actions. He feels himself picking David up under his legs and carrying him just far enough to press him hard against the wall. He hears and feels David sigh into his mouth at the impact, only increasing both of their desires.

David’s hands are pulling on his hair. His neck. His arms. His shirt. And Patrick is keeping his hands firmly on David’s ass as he keeps him lifted in the air. Their lungs don’t seem to require air in this space.

It feels like two stars colliding. Like an asteroid shower raining down. Like the universe is expanding and exploding. It is electric and intoxicating and… happening in front of some very large windows in their professional establishment. Fuck.

The reluctance is palpable as Patrick groans and detaches his lips from David’s mouth, dropping his head to David’s shoulder. Slowly, he relinquishes his hands from David’s ass and lowers him to the ground. He pulls out of the safe space in David’s side to see him looking extremely distressed and turned on.

“Patrick.” It’s both a whining statement and a sad question.

“Let me take you home, David.”

“But… I don’t want to go back to the motel.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

David takes a look around and slowly comes back down to Earth. He nods his head up and down at a slow pace. “Right. Yeah. Um okay. Yes let’s go. Now?”

Patrick smiles fondly up at him. Their bodies are still pressed together against the wall of their establishment. He kisses him gently on the lips and they both sigh.

“Take me home, Patrick.”

\---

The ride home is unbearable. It’s only 5 minutes away but David might collapse before they even get their. He claws at Patrick’s thigh in the car, needing some kind of contact. Neither say a word, unsure of how to even start a conversation.

When they get to the house, Patrick pulls him along by his hand and leads him through the front door. The change in scenery dampens David’s desire to jump Patrick and is replaced by an intense inclination to talk through his swirling thoughts. _Don’t be scared_, he tells himself

They close the door to the bedroom and David murmurs a simple statement. “You have a very nice voice.”

Patrick smiles and pulls him down to sit on the bed with him. “Thank you.”

“And I actually am not opposed to the use of your instrument in this rendition.”

Patrick laughs. “High praise.”

The words are threatening to bubble out. And he needs any excuse to use them towards Patrick. “I loved it,” David says hesitantly. “The performance. And the song. I…loved it.”

Maybe it’s in David’s imagination but he swears he hears Patrick’s breath catch at the use of the word _love_. David keeps his eyes trained on his nails that he can’t seem to stop picking at now. A hand comes into his frame of vision and grabs hold of his nervous fingers. He squeezes them tightly. Maybe he still is a little scared after all. 

“I love that you loved it,” Patrick counters. He brings David’s fingers up to his mouth and kisses it softly.

David’s heart is racing and it’s a completely different feeling than when he wanted to kiss Patrick just ten minutes ago.

Patrick keeps speaking. “I loved seeing you look at me. During the performance. And after- from across the room.” He brushes their connected fingers across David’s mouth. David automatically kisses the fingers that touch his sensitive lips.

He looks up and the thumb on his lip glides across his cheek. “I love that you are my friend and my person, David.

He leans in gently and kisses him on one cheek, and then the other. _His person. His person. His person._ David lets out a shaky breath. It’s all too much and David can’t handle the intensity. He closes his eyes and leans in to reconnect their mouths. He lets their lips dance together, just as they seem to be dancing around the words they both can’t say to one other.

David has a thought. And now he can’t get it out of his head. He detaches their lips and pulls away. “Does this mean we are officially boyfriends?”

Patrick stares at him dumbly before dissolving into unabashed laughter. David hits his arm with a “hey!” but quickly finds the humor in their own stupidity. He chuckles gleefully and holds the hand still placed on his cheek.

“I would love to be your boyfriend, David.”

David is on cloud nine. His arousal is back with new-found magnitude. In one swift motion, he crawls onto Patrick’s lap and straddles his legs. Patrick assents to his movements naturally and holds tight onto David’s hips to keep them in place. He places both arms around Patrick’s neck and kisses his forehead as the last ceremonial sweet gesture of the night before he passionately devours Patrick in desire. “I would love to be yours.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set during S4 E7 The Barbecue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is no better time for angst than after a cute romantic chapter. Or at least, that's what I learned from Dan Levy.  
This turned into a monster chapter that I felt would be best in two parts. Try not to hate me for the cliffhangers. Look out for part 2 on Sunday!

“This is the FOURTH time that it’s happened now Patrick.”

Patrick can barely respond, too preoccupied laughing at David’s embarrassment. “I am sure there are far worst things Ray has seen than your beautiful ass.”

David scoffs and points a finger in Patrick’s direction. “I agree. But I only want _you_ to see my beautiful ass.”

They really weren’t letting the lack of privacy get in their way anymore. Ever since they officially became boyfriends, Patrick and David couldn’t keep their hands off of one another… even if that meant Ray constantly walking in on them during obscene acts.

“It wouldn’t be enough for me. Maybe it’s not a mistake. Maybeee he’s doing it on purpose,” Patrick muses. He puts his arms around David and squeezes his butt between his hands.

David yips and backs away. “You are disgusting.” Patrick taps his ass and winks in response. “I hate you,” David adds with a whine.

David finds himself continuously diverting his words to stray from the ones he so badly wants to say. Instead, he tells Patrick how much he doesn’t like him- how much he hates him. And how he loves so many things that aren’t Patrick. And it couldn’t be in his head that Patrick was participating in this game of chicken as well.

Patrick smirks and whips out his phone. “Well you’re going to love me for this.”

David could scream. “Try me,” he attempts smoothly but it comes out more as a squeak.

Patrick turns his phone around towards David to show him something on the screen that he evidently can’t read. “I bought us tickets to the Julia Stiles-a-thon at the drive-in tonight.”

Okay so maybe he did love this man. It was okay to admit that to himself, right? “Tonight?”

“Tonight,” Patrick grins. “Now I gotta go to town hall to get some signatures for our permit renewal.” Patrick leans forward and kisses him briefly on the lips.

“I’ll miss you,” David emotes dramatically, his tone dripping with sarcasm despite the semblance of truth behind it.

“I’ll bring back my war medal in honor of you.”

“My hero.” David clutches his non-existent pearls.

Patrick bows and salutes him before exiting the store. David stares after him, a smile glued to his face that had a way of sticking around for far too long these days. The feeling of giddiness bubbling in him was something he had never felt before. He thought nothing could beat those butterflies he had experienced at the start of their friendship. But this was entirely different. This was weightlessness. The sensation of warm blankets on a cold night. The taste of chocolate chip cookies fresh out of the oven. The smell of his favorite moisturizer from Paris. It was everything David loved wrapped into a person. David is fully immersed in his thoughts when the front door opens.

“Hello. Welcome to Rose Apothecary. Let me know if I can help you find anything,” David rehearses naturally before returning his attention to the paper in front of him covered in doodles of hearts and clouds.

“Actually I was wondering if you have any sports gear? Like perhaps a nice baseball hat or something like that?”

_Ew._ David tries not to let repulsion appear on his face. “Ummm hm. That is a question that would be better directed at my partner.”

“Oh uh okay. Where is your partner then?”

“Oh he’s out.”

“Okayyy,” she laughs and holds the end of the word, giving him a strange look. “Well do you know if you sell _anything_ related to sports here?”

“Well I think we do have some yoga mats. And maybe some workout attire?,” David tries, clearly perplexed.

She quirks her eyebrow in amusement. “I take it you are not a sports person.”

David feigns shock. “Don’t stereotype me.”

“I would never,” she says facetiously, a cheeky grin spreading across her face. She carries on her search through items on lower shelves and David wonders why he’s never seen her around before. 

“Oh I think we may have a winner!”, she cheers enthusiastically.

David is genuinely curious what she possibly could have found that would be remotely classified as “sports”; he makes his way over to the spot where she is crouched on the ground. Her hand is on a tall beer mug with an unfamiliar baseball reference on it, hidden behind the nicer ‘approved’ glass wear on the bottom shelf.

“I take it you are a beer drinker,” David says far-too-blunt for interacting with a customer.

Her eyes shine as she holds the glass and stands to his level. “Don’t stereotype me”, she quips back. “But _this_ is actually a gift for someone. He loves baseball and beer. So it’s actually pretty perfect.”

“My partner insisted we stock those. I correctly informed him that it wasn’t really on brand for our store.”

She takes a look around and pretends to look surprised. “Really? This seems like the perfect place to host a watch party for Sunday football?”

David can’t help but smirk. It is rare to find someone who can match his banter besides Patrick and Stevie. “You should see it during the basketball month. Huge crowds.”

“The fact that you said ‘basketball month’ makes me think you _may_ be lying,” she laughs. She makes her way over to the checkout area, David trailing behind in bemusement.

“Should I have said something more believable like…competitive figure skating?”

The woman snorts and places the beer mug on the counter. “When you start showing that, I’ll come around just to watch it with you.”

David likes her. He has a feeling she would fit well into their odd little group. He checks her item out and gift wraps the present.

“Well tell your partner I say thank you. My fiance is going to love this.” She casts a genuine smile as she starts making her way to the door, body still half-turned in his direction.

“He will get no such honor. I will be taking full credit for this… um-”, David searches for a name that was not given to him.

“Rachel.”

“Rachel,” he repeats. And then quickly introduces himself. “David.”

She gathers her purse and neatly wrapped present. “I think you actually would benefit from a lot more than just a few baseball mugs. This town definitely seems like a place where people might get bored and flock to sports. Or at least… get overly passionate about sports and watch them in the local bar.”

“Mmm bold claim. But no. The most athletic thing around here are the baseball performances every week.”

“And is it safe to assume that this partner of yours is on said team?”

David cringes. “It’s a nightmare. I have to pretend like I’m interested.”

She laughs. “I’m having a hard time picturing you faking that, as well how this so-called partnership works.”

“Well sometimes the greatest partnerships are the ones you don’t expect. We actually work really well together,” David remarks defensively. “He’s incredibly smart. And understands all the business-y side of things. And is just a very personable person. Everyone loves him.” _Me included, _the subconscious part of David's brain considers.

Rachel listens with a sparkle in her eyes and a small smile playing on her lips like she knows something David does not. “It sounds like you are perfect for one another. Sometimes we need someone to balance us out. That’s why both of us need a ‘Rose Apothecary business partner sports guy’ in our life.”

David smiles. He gets the feeling Rachel knows he is far more than just a Rose Apothecary business partner sports guy. “For our obvious lack of athleticism?”

“Exactly.” She raises the glass in the air before opening the door and sending a small wave his way. “Cheers David!”

\---

As Patrick meanders to the town hall, his phone buzzes under his grasp for the third time today. His heart races and it takes a solid two minutes to gather his nerve to turn the phone around and catch a glimpse at the screen.

** **From Rach:** **

** **I got you a present! Can we meet up so I can give it to you?** **

Fuck. Patrick grips the phone tightly in his hands, the skin on his knuckles turning white with tension. His eyes reluctantly skim over the previous messages.

** **Asojsmf wlemfvd** **

** **Oh sorry! My phone must have been open in my purse.** **

** **Don’t be mad but your mom told me you moved to Schitt’s Creek. I am driving down to meet with a friend and I will be passing through. I think it would be the perfect time to meet up and talk some things over** **

** **Patrick?** **

** **Can we just be mature about this for once? ** **

** **Will you please just respond to me. ** **

Every text message over the past few days was a jab in Patrick’s side and it was getting harder and harder to breathe. He couldn’t do this. Couldn’t see her again. Couldn’t tell David about it.

David. He has a feeling David will be upset about this. But it’s not like he was keeping Rachel a secret. He had told David about Rachel. They had dealt with the difficult conversation. Things were supposed to be easy now.

Patrick knows David has nothing to worry about. If anything, he realizes that these intense feelings for David are far superior to anything he ever experienced with Rachel. And it was both tragic and wonderful. And he just can’t tell her. He can’t face her. To have Rachel be the first person from his past life that he comes out to…it would be wrong, right? It would break her. He’s not even sure he could get the words out if he tried.

Patrick’s thoughts run a mile a minute and he can’t catch up with his own logic long enough to figure out how he feels about the situation. This would be so much easier if he could just talk it out with someone. His mind instantly returns to David- the one person he can talk to about anything. The only one who will challenge his thoughts and find a solution all at once. He sighs. He needs to tell him. Tonight.

\---

Something felt off ever since Patrick returned to the shop that afternoon. David was excited to tell Patrick about the new potential friend who had wandered into the store. But was quickly stifled by Patrick’s passive responses and dazed attitude.

David wants to assume the worst. He always did when Patrick showed signs of distress. David was working on getting better at that and assured himself that everything was fine. Patrick was probably just tired- nothing Julia Stiles can’t solve.

So the two gather into Patrick’s car and make their way to the drive-in theatre in relative silence, stroking fingers held between the seats. Patrick pulls out two bags of popcorn, sour gummy worms, and a lemonade. And David is almost positive everything really is going to be fine.

“I have to tell you something.”

David averts his attention from the screen where previews for upcoming movies stream. “Okay well 10 Things I hate About You starts in 3 minutes so…”, David motions his hand along.

“Didn’t we already watch this movie together?”

“Um and you point? What are we even doing here if not to enjoy the best of Julia’s work?”, David scowled with genuine offense.

Instead of grappling back, Patrick shifts in his seat uncomfortably. He looks awkward. His neck cranes towards David but his body leans away and towards the window. David’s mind darkens and his thoughts jump to worse case scenarios. The buzzing in his ears drowns out the soft noises projecting from the stereo in the car.

“My ex-fiance has been texting me.”

Oh. That is not what he was expecting. He looks at Patrick, dumbfounded. The only response he can conjure up is a softly muttered “what” as he exhales sharply through his nose.

Fidgeting further in his seat, Patrick sits up straight and turns his whole body to look at David. He sits criss-cross on the car cushion, his body contorted to match the painful look on his face. “She has tried reaching out ever since I left. But in the past few days, she has wrote me multiple times. She wants to see me, David.”

David doesn’t want to be dramatic but this is worse than worse-case scenarios. David tries not to get ahead of himself but his mind is already creating images of Patrick kissing this faceless woman, falling back into her arms and into a life he surely misses.

“I haven’t responded yet,” Patrick sighs. He holds his phone out in dismay, screen faced towards David in a display of disclosure.

_Oh_, David thinks again. _Maybe not all hope is lost._ He gingerly grabs the phone and wills his eyes to focus on the words in front of him. He re-reads the lines over and over, trying to make sense of it. “Why haven’t you responded?”, he finds himself asking. It seems like a valid question.

“Well because I wanted to tell you first obviously.”

Obviously. “You don’t have to do that,” he finds himself automatically saying.

“Well…I think I do, David.”

“Right. Yeah. That’s just what I’m supposed to say. Um… do you want to respond?”

“Well I kind of feel like I owe it to her. To explain why I just up and disappeared out of her life. But…”

_But you love me now. And you can’t think of any reason why you would give her any attention. _David just gives him a blank stare. They feel so distant. It feels like they haven’t touched in ages. Their bodies are miles apart in this tiny vehicle.

“She deserves to know, David.”

David doesn’t think so. She doesn’t deserve anything. In fact, David’s pretty sure they could go the rest of their happy lives without ever meeting this person. A question bubbles to the surface before he can stop it. “Did you love her?” He has to know.

For the firs time since stepping foot into the car, Patrick really looks at David. His appearance is pained and unsure and maybe a little frightened. “I…”, he stutters. Maybe the question is unexpected or overwhelming but Patrick’s hesitation feels like an answer.

David has no right to feel upset. David had been with plenty of people prior to Patrick. But he had never loved. And the fact that Patrick may have felt that for anyone but him was causing his throat to feel painfully tight, tears threatening to leak out his eyes despite David’s complete acceptance of Patrick’s past relationships.

“I loved her. I will probably always love her in some way or another.”

It hurts to hear but David tries to keep his head held high and swallow the feeling of self-pity and self-destruction. Patrick starts to reach across the car seat space but stops short and takes a deep breath. “But it’s not… it’s not like how I feel about you. No matter how hard I tried with her, it just never felt right. And up until recently, I didn't understand why. David, I've spent most of my life not knowing what right was supposed to feel like, and then I met you. And everything changed. You make me feel right, David.”

David has never felt a stronger sense of whiplash in his life. Despite the honesty behind the beautiful words, he still feels something clawing at his insides. “Then why do you have to talk to her?” He sounds submissive and defeated; his hands fidget in his lap.

“I haven’t come out to anyone, David.”

Wait what were they talking about again? “You are out to the entire town Patrick? I don’t think you understand what coming out means?”

Patrick sighs in frustration and tilts his head back into the seat headrest. “That’s not what I mean.”

David can see the anger in Patrick’s furrowed brow. They are once again in a totally different emotional space than they were one minute prior. “What _do_ you mean Patrick?”

Patrick practically growls through his teeth and runs a shaky hand through his hair and then across his creased forehead. “Everyone I know back home. The people who have known me for years. None of them know. The people that matter, David. And I don’t know how to tell them.”

_The people that matter. _It stings but he knows it’s not what Patrick means. He reaches the distance between them and soothes a gentle hand over Patrick’s eyebrow, willing it to flatten. “You are going to get wrinkles,” he whispers softly. Patrick gives him an exasperated look and David flashes him a sad smile.

Confusion. Shame. Anger. David internally rotates through each emotion but maintains his sad smile and comforting hand on Patrick. This isn’t the first time he’s been made to feel like some dirty little secret. Was Patrick ashamed of himself? Of David? “You don’t have to mention me if that’s the issue.” That’s what he’s supposed to say next.

“This isn’t about you David,” Patrick says offhandedly.

_Okay. That one hurt a little bit. He isn’t wrong but…_ “ I know that,” David mumbles and retreats his hands from Patrick.

Patrick stares straight ahead, watching the movie flash above them. David remembers the last time they had watched it- the background noise to another serious discussion in their relationship. Both were about Patrick’s ex. David really really hopes this doesn’t ruin 10 Things I Hate About You for him.

The quiet drags on. Tangible tension. David hates it. He squirms in his seat, remembering exactly why he hates silence so much. “I want to help you Patrick. But I’m not sure what you want. What can I do?”

Patrick seems to be simmering on something, his emotions bubbling to the surface at a rapid velocity. David stands in his path. Patrick scoffs and spits out his words with venom. “I don’t need your pity, David. You can save it. My experience has been _nothing _like yours. And you’ve never been the best at empathizing so I know you could never understand. It’s fine. I can deal with it on my own. But I really don’t need your disappointment and disapproval hanging over me.”

He wants to justify Patrick’s words- find some logic in them and understand the meaning behind them. But instead he stores the words and the facial expressions and the bitter tone away deep in his brain to pick apart and cry over later. Instead of disputing Patrick’s misguided words, David simply and meekly responds, “Okay.”

The two of them stare straight ahead, pretending but not really pretending to watch the movie. Patrick keeps fidgeting with his hair and his face. David’s nails press crescent shape moons into the palm of his hand. No one says a word and the movie passes at a glacier pace.

Not sure how long time has passed, David realizes he needs to be alone now. He can feel the tears stinging at the back of his eyes and the anxiety creeping into his lungs. For the first time in David’s life, he is going to cut a Julia Stiles movie night short. “Can you take me home please?,” David manages to croak out. Tonight, home is not with Patrick.

Patrick seems to snap out of his own funk and turns his head towards David. David refuses to look him in the eye despite Patrick’s lingering gaze. Patrick eventually turns the car on and pulls out of the spot without another word. Patrick tries to catch David’s eye the rest of the trip home but David knows he will burst into tears the minute that happens so he keeps his head down and his breaths even.

When the car pulls into the motel parking lot, the eerie silence thickens. David gathers his things into his lap and decides he has one last thing to say. “I opened up to you. And told you about my coming out experiences. You know it wasn’t all easy for me,” David laments, disappointment strong in his voice. The disappointment is mostly in himself. “You should meet up with her. I hope you figure out what you need to.” David quickly throws the door open so he can escape into the night. He has no desire to hear what Patrick has to say right now.

David only makes it past the door before crumbling onto his bed in pain. He is thankful Alexis is out for the night, grateful she won’t have to see him like this- tears streaming down his face and body contorted into a question mark, wondering where this all went wrong. His body convulses on the bed and he feels disgusted in himself for putting so much trust and faith into a single person. He knew better than this. Patrick really had fucked everything up for him.

He eventually pulls himself up from the bed, keeping it together long enough to complete his skin care routine (obviously) and get ready for a restless sleep. It almost seems pointless but he figures he needs something to distract himself. As David tucks himself away for the night, he muses over the drastic turn of events. In the dark, it feels like the end of the world. He knows things will probably look different tomorrow and maybe this will all seem like nothing. But for now, he is allowing himself to wallow in self-pity.

Mind still racing as tears stain dry on his face and neck, David feels a buzz from under the pillow. He hates how quickly he grabs for it.

_From Patrick: _

_I’m sorry I got upset with you. I don’t know why I said that. I’ve got a lot on my mind and I’m taking it out on you and that’s not okay. I want to work this out so can we please talk tomorrow?_

David reads the message a few times, mulling over the words that seem more like an excuse and less like an apology. He wasn’t having it tonight. He shoves the phone under his pillow and tries to sleep. 

\---

Patrick feels hungover when he wakes up despite the lack of alcohol in his system. It takes him all of two seconds to remember the events that transpired the night before. He hastily reaches for the phone only to be disappointed by the zero messages from David. However, the other recipient of his late night texts had responded.

** **From Rach: ** **

** **I’m so happy to hear from you Pat! Let’s meet up at 1 today. Where should we go? ** **

Rubbing at his eyes with ferocity, Patrick tries to wake up despite the lack of sleep he had gotten the night before. He spent the night pacing the small bedroom, picking things up and putting them down, opening his phone and closing it again, sitting down and standing up until he was dizzy with exhaustion.

He fucked up. He really fucked up. He knows that. But he still has this paradoxical uneasy feeling directed towards David. It’s not quite anger. Or irritation. He can’t put a finger on it. Maybe jealousy? David had come out to everyone before he was even twenty. Most of the important people knew far before that without a single word spoken on the matter. Patrick has no such luck. And he can’t help but imagine that he will receive far less support than David had.

Or maybe it was the fear of losing David? How could David want to stay with someone who can’t even live their truth, especially when that truth involves David himself? Perhaps this was just his way of preparing for the ‘worst case scenario’, as David would call it.

Either way, Patrick had searched for anything to settle the unease in his stomach late into the night. He had wrote Rachel in a desperate attempt to take the leap of faith and move on with his life. At least, that had been his logic at the time but now he was beginning to feel nauseous just thinking of being in her presence.

Still… he came this far. Would it hurt Rachel more to tell her that he’s gay or to never respond to the message after reaching out to her again? There was no turning back now.

_To Rachel:_

_Sounds good. Let’s meet at my place _

He wasn’t particularly thrilled to be inviting Rachel into his space, especially one behind closed doors. But he also wasn’t ready for this to play out in a public environment in this very small, very close-knit town.

It was already almost 11 and he should be getting ready but he can’t get David off his mind. He should write him again. He creates and deletes multiple drafts before sighing deeply, giving up and taking a long shower. Patrick wants to cry but he feels so numb and distant that no tears come. The only physical reaction his body seems to be having is the growing nausea. The visceral sensation stirs in his stomach as he steps out of the shower and he practically falls to the ground to lean against the toilet.

Nothing comes up. _Pitiful_, he thinks to himself. God he wishes David was here to run his hand down his back and tell him that everything will be okay. He doesn’t want to do this alone. He had incorrectly assumed it would make him a stronger man. But it really was just making him feel like a child.

Despite the continued presence of incomprehensible confusion towards David, Patrick needs to talk to him. He picks up the phone again and immediately presses the call button over David’s image. Every ring of the phone feels like another wave of sickness and when the answering tone beeps, he has never felt more desperate.

“David… it’s um Patrick.” Why did he sound like that and why was he saying his own name? “I wanted you to know that I’m going to see Rachel today. I’m going to tell her about us. About me. And… I wish you were here to make it easier. You always make everything easier. And that’s why I need to talk to her. I need to explain _that_ to her. I hope you understand. I love…”, he hesitates. _Not now._ “…how supportive you are. And I took it as pity. Or disappointment or… something? I know it wasn’t. I hope you can forgive me.” He is at a loss of words and can’t think of anything that could possibly help dig him out of this deepening hole. So with a small sniffle, he hangs up the phone and slumps onto the bathroom floor.

He must stay there for a while, staring out at nothing. Because the next time he stands up is when he hears the doorbell ring from downstairs. Despite the inner turmoil, he can hear David’s voice whispering in his ear- “breathe”. He allows the air to completely fill his lungs before pushing it outwards in one huge gust. He opens the door to see Rachel standing in front of him, gift bag in hand.

“Hey Pat.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of S4 E7. Patrick comes out to Rachel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part two as promised. Shout-out to everyone over at Rose Apothecary for being so supportive and literally anyone who continues to read this. See end notes for some story updates.

David was totally familiar with the concept of lashing out at people you care about in stressful situations. He had practically invented it. And it never occurred to him how hurtful it might be until it was happening to him. It was unfair but true. And maybe it was only just making sense to him because he had never cared about someone as much as he cares about Patrick.

He was still lying in the dark of his room despite his phone clock reading past noon. He had wrote Stevie but refused to text Patrick back. That is not to say he hadn’t opened and read the message 100 times now.

_From Stevie:_

_Don’t make me come over there and drag you out of bed _

** **The dark helps me hibernate in these frigid times ** **

_You are causing more pain to yourself than you need to_

_You need sunlight _

** **You wouldn’t dare** **

_I’m all of 10 feet away from you _

** **Please don’t ** **

_It’s too late _

Before David has time to barricade the door, Stevie is lunging through, exposing David to the bright light. He practically hisses at her.

“Okay. Enough of this,” she gestures to all of him and his state of sadness. “I allowed you to stay in bed this long but now it’s time to get up and solve your issues. Come on.” She reaches to grab for the blanket which David thoroughly clutches to his sides.

“Just let me sleep in for the rest of the day.”

She grabs at his ankles and drags him down the bed as he makes a sad attempt to stay in his position. “Friends don’t let friends wallow in self-pity.”

“Good friends do”, David mopes on the ground.

“You are a mess,” she states matter-of-factly.

He glares at her as she joins him on the ground, crossing her legs and leaning back against Alexis’ bed, making it impossible for David to escape.

“I think you should call him,” Stevie suggests.

He scoffs. “He doesn’t actually want to talk to me.”

“Then why did he text you?”

He can’t think of a reason that will be logical enough for Stevie so he shrugs his shoulders and slumps further into the bed against his back. He knocks his knees against her adjacent ones. The contact feels nice.

“It sounds like he’s just nervous about coming out to someone from his past,” Stevie offers.

“Nervous that people will know I’m his boyfriend,” David mumbles.

“David I really don’t think that’s the problem here,” she says truthfully. Before David can argue with her, she continues. “Here me out. Patrick has never really had to come out to anyone. And now he has to tell the person he was with for many years and possibly going to marry that he’s gay. He has no idea how she will react. She will probably be extremely hurt. And very well might say horrible things. Or even go tell people that he might not be ready to know that about himself yet. And I’m sure that’s terrifying for him.”

David allows himself to consider it. He thinks about a time when he wasn’t out to people in his life. Things had been different for him. On some level, his family had always known. His friends had always assumed. Hell, even Stevie had presumed that about him. But that didn’t make it any less difficult to say those words or try to explain his sexuality to someone.

“You’ve always said that people should come out on their own terms. How it’s such a ‘personal journey’. I’ve heard you rant about it a million times over. So why is that experience any different for Patrick?”

_Fuck why did she always have to be right about everything? _David knocks his knees against her again, this time with more playful force and less annoyance. She gives him a knowing look and smug smile. He hates and loves her so much. “Why can’t you just ever let me be sad for one minute?”

“Um because that’s what best friends do, David.”

_Best friends. Stevie is my best friend_, David realizes with glee. “I guess you’re my best friend too. I’ve never had one of those before,” he says pitifully. It occurs to him how proud he is of the new titles he has gathered in Schitt’s Creek- a boyfriend and a best friend.

“Me too.” They both look away awkwardly and clear their throats.

“Wow this would be a really sweet moment if what we had just admitted to each other wasn’t so sad.”

She hums in agreement and they sit in comfortable silence, gently rocking their legs against one another in a self-made rhythm. David is starting to remember that silence can be comfortable.

But the silence is eventually broken by a ringing noise. His phone. It’s coming from somewhere up on the bed and he is both desperate to reach for it and not at all ready to talk to the person he knows is on the other line.

Stevie looks at him with intent. “You going to get that?”

“We are having such a nice time together. It would be rude to look at my phone when I’m hanging out with my best friend.”

“Well then…”, she states as she stands up from her place on the ground. She picks up the phone that has now stopped ringing and passes it to David, not before catching a peek at the missed call on the screen. “I think I will survive if someone else takes your time for a bit.” She walks out the door self-satisfied and closes it behind her before David can get a word in. He stares after her, afraid to look down at the screen. He eventually works up the nerve and clicks on the one missed voice message from Patrick.

Hesitantly, he places the phone to his ear. When he hears his name whispered through the phone, it almost knocks the wind out of him. It barely even resembles Patrick. He sounds hurt and broken and confused and David wants to just pick him up and hold him in his arms, keeping him wrapped in the perfect bubble they created together.

But then Patrick reveals that he is meeting with _her _today. Rachel. It stings but he tries to swallow that feeling and remember what Stevie had told him. He listens to the pain in Patrick’s words. He can tell he’s scared. Scared to tell Rachel. Scared of David’s response. He doesn’t want to be one of the causes for his fear.

“I hope you can forgive me,” Patrick grieves.

It’s all he needs to hear before he is standing up for the first time today. He feels light-headed but still makes his way to the closet to pull out a dark jacket and denim skirt. He stumbles around the room, determined to get ready. He has to go see Patrick.

\---

Before Patrick has time to process her presence, Rachel is throwing her arms around his shoulders in an embrace that’s both consolingly nostalgic and nervously nauseating. Nonetheless, he wraps his arms around her waist out of habit and squeezes back. He doesn’t mean to but his mind immediately starts examining the feeling of her body against his compared to David’s. It’s strikingly different and he’s not sure how he ever found _this_ to be enticing.

He pulls back first, bringing her body away from his own in an attempt to get some distance between them. Her hands linger on his forearms despite the space between them and she looks at him with so much joy it breaks his heart.

“I did not pin you for a floral guy,” she jokes, eyeing the living room decor.

_You didn’t pin me for a lot of things_, he muses. “Flowers have grown on me.”_Especially Roses._

“Hmph. Well you never gave me any when we were together. Unless I forced you to,” she teases. “Remember how I would always make us stop in front of Mrs. Humprhey’s lawn during our nightly walks so we could smell the roses in her garden. Every time, I commented on how they would make ‘perfect anniversary gifts’ which I thought was the least subtle way to get you to buy me some.” She stops to laugh, caught up in her own story.

“So I bought you some seeds to grow your own garden. So you could have your own roses for any occasion,” Patrick recalls. He can’t help but laugh as well. “It made perfect sense to me.”

“You were so oblivious. But it was thoughtful nonetheless,” she giggles. Patrick smiles despite himself, noting how surprisingly nice it feels to reminisce. “But now that you like flowers, maybe I can _finally_ get my roses.” The elated smile on Rachel’s face reminds Patrick of why they are here in the first place. He hates that he has to make that smile disappear.

Still stuck at the doorway, Patrick clears his throat and moves backwards. “Well come in. I know I said I like flowers but even this is a bit much for me. It is my roommates house actually so…”.

“And a roommate? You could barely stand living with me. You are a changed man, Patrick Brewer.”

He hears the subtle dig but doesn’t take it as such. He did hate having a roommate. He preferred his own space. Even now, that held true. But back then his reasons for wanting distance were much more pointed and less about his solo preferences.

She plops down on the couch, always one to make herself at home in any space. She places her purse and gift bag down on the floor, settling into the cushions. Patrick is so caught up in being silently grateful that Rachel hasn’t ask to see the rest of the house that he doesn’t take note of the extremely familiar gift wrap.

“So you’ve been ignoring me.”

Okay straight to the point. Patrick can deal with that. He slowly sits down on the other end of the couch, careful to leave distance between them. “Not intentionally but yes, I suppose I have been avoiding talking to you.”

She purses her lips together and nods her head slowly up and down. “You left so suddenly.”

All true statements. It’s hard to argue with any of it. “I did.”

“I know you wanted space. But…Patrick this is the longest we’ve gone without talking to each other”, she whispers sadly. All signs of the sweet nostalgic Rachel have disappeared and been replaced by someone longing for understanding. “We usually… it’s usually different.”

He knows she means that they usually get back together. They do. Every time. Always falling back into it with a messy drunk text or a short “catch up” at a coffee shop.

“It’s different this time, Rachel.” He tries to maintain a solid steady voice. “We aren’t getting back together this time.” There. At least he was able to get that out.

She seems surprised by that. Despite her straight-forward questioning and statements, she looked unprepared for rejection. Patrick can understand why. She sits for a minute, just looking at him, a flurry of emotions crossing her features- confusion, anger, grief. When she finally does speak up, it’s the question he has been dreading. “Has something changed?”

As usual, she doesn’t need to elaborate. It had always been this way between them- understanding what the other meant without ever having to directly say it. He hoped that they could still have that after this.

He gulps loudly. He keeps trying to say words but nothing comes out, including himself. “I uh-”. _Fuck. This really does not come naturally._ “The thing is-”. He is interrupted by furious knocking at the front door.

It pulls Patrick’s attention away from Rachel’s inquisitive expression. It’s a welcome, confusing distraction that gives him a minute to breathe. He gives her a perplexed shrug and an “excuse me” before standing up.

He’s not sure what he expects on the other side of the door. Maybe Ray forgot his keys again? Or one of the photography clients incorrectly thought they had an appointment today? Or a furious postal work just really wanted to deliver a package? But what he does not expect to find is a frazzled, visibly distraught David.

“David,” Patrick breathes out. He feels simultaneously relieved and petrified to see him at his doorstep.

“I got your message.” David all of a sudden looks like he has no idea why he is here or what to say. But he keeps his eyes trained on Patrick, unsure of how to carry on. “I um don’t know if you want me to be here. Or if you even want me around at all. But I wanted to let you know that I’m here for you. And it’s not out of pity. And also that it hurt me that you assumed that about me. But…that’s not what this is about right now. I just wanted to come here to…I don’t know.” David keeps rambling and Patrick really wants to kiss the worry off of his lips and hold him and tell him how sorry he is that he made David feel this way and how much he loves him. But then he remembers his guest sitting on the couch behind him.

“David?”, comes Rachel’s confused voice. Patrick turns his head around so fast he feels his neck lock up. Did he imagine that or did Rachel just-?

“Rachel, right?”, David offers. Patrick can’t turn his head back fast enough. David looks between Patrick and Rachel for a few seconds, the wheels slowing turning. And then Patrick can visibly see the realization hit David’s face. His eyes grow wide and his mouth drops open slightly. “Oh. OH. Rachel. You are Rachel. Like…_Patrick’s_ Rachel. Oh wow. Okay.” David is rambling again but for a completely different reason now.

_Oh god. Oh god. This is not how he wanted things to go._ “You two know each other? Somehow?”, Patrick squeaks out.

Rachel pipes in, now walking over to stand behind Patrick. “I bought a present for you at his store- the cute one in town. We talked for a little bit,” she says quickly. She looks as confused as Patrick feels. “What is going on here Patrick?”

Patrick sends David a panicked look. _Okay here goes nothing I suppose._ He opens his mouth to explain but is interrupted once again.

“We are business partners,” David interrupts him before he can get a word out. He gives Patrick a knowing nervous look. Patrick wants to feel relieved but it just makes him feel sicker that David is trying to ‘cover for him’.

Rachel looks pleasantly shocked. “Oh! Patrick is the sports fan business partner you were talking about.” Her delight lasts all of two seconds before some sort of realization crosses her face. Patrick is not sure what it is but her expression gets dark and she looks concerned. “Oh…”

There is a tangible tension in the air that Patrick really wants to dissipate. He knows it’s probably not the best idea to have them both here but he can’t imagine asking either of them to leave right now. They just need to talk this through. Sort it out. With tea. Yeah that’s what people did in times of crises, right? “Maybe we should all sit down? I can make tea?”

“Tea?”, David gives him a questioning look. It’s actually a relief to see it compared to his previous facial expression. “Are we in Downton Abbey or something?”

Patrick knows he is looking at him fondly but he can’t help it. Rachel’s voice cuts through the air. “I’m beginning to think it’s a lot like Downton Abbey,” she says equal parts entertained and bitter.

_This is a disaster._ “Coffee it is then.”

\---

David is trying to backtrack and make up for the fact that he definitely unintentionally outed his boyfriend to his ex-fiance while also simultaneously fighting with said boyfriend in-front of said ex-fiance. He wants to crawl into this cup of coffee and drown in it. Worse is that his boyfriend is clearly confused about the entire dynamic playing out in front of him as everyone continues to dance around the conundrum at hand.

David tried to leave when Patrick invited him inside, insisting on just one cup of coffee. “I want you to be here. Please stay, David.” Patrick looked at him with such despair that David couldn’t imagine saying no to him right now. David was not one to willingly involve himself in awkward situations. But yet- here he was. _Only for Patrick_, he thinks.

Everyone is quiet as they sip at their coffee, backs unusually straight with proper posture. David taps his foot and looks down at the space between him and Patrick on the couch. And then the distance between Patrick and Rachel from her spot in the chair next to him.

_This is one big mess and it’s my fault,_ David curses himself. This is not how Patrick wanted to talk with Rachel. And clearly not the best means for her to find out some incredibly devastating information at the same time. David holds onto the hope that after their conversation at the store that Rachel just thinks David has a huge crush on his very straight business partner who happens to be her very heterosexual fiance.

“So is this why you don’t want to get back together with me, Patrick?”

_Alright so maybe those hopes were dashed._ But David’s just happy someone is breaking the heavy silence.

Patrick looks up at her and she gestures between the two of them. He looks terrified and David badly wants to reach out and hold his hand. He pinches his forearm to keep it from moving. Patrick looks like the human embodiment of something caught in your throat. He keeps opening his mouth to respond but nothing comes out.

Rachel continues. “You started a business here. And made friends here. And maybe… more than friends here?” David can tell she is trying hard to understand and trying even harder not to say anything specific.

“It is,” he speaks up finally. It is the most timid David has ever seen him.

The silence drags on and she sighs sadly. “Do you want me to keep asking pointed questions or do you want to tell me what’s going through your mind, Pat?”

David wishes he could up and leave right now. He feels the intensity in her words and understands the hurt behind them. David has been Rachel before and he knows the last person he would want to see right now is David.

“I want to tell you everything, Rach.”

Rach. Pat. They had nicknames for one another. Names that passed across each other’s lips so many times before. And now they were being spoken with so much pain.

Patrick takes a deep sigh and continues, eyes focused on Rachel. “When I left, it was to escape. I wanted to get away from all the expectations from my parents and friends and you. And I couldn’t understand why I didn’t want to marry you Rach. It made no sense. You are perfect. You are smart. And witty. And gorgeous. And would make the best wife.”

This was harder to hear that he anticipated. David wasn’t used to being strong for someone like this but he wanted to be that for Patrick. He keeps his face composed as Patrick carries on.

“But Rach, I don’t want a wife.” Patrick’s shaky hand reaches across the couch and lands on David’s in his lap. David isn’t given a second to worry about it because Patrick is squeezing his hand tighter, calming him down instantly. “I came here to escape my feelings. But instead I found them in something new. I found them in… David.”

Rachel stares at their clasped hands, her face impossible to crack. Patrick trudges forward. “I joined David in his business ventures for Rose Apothecary. And we became best friends.” The statement makes David want to smile but he masks it by squeezing Patrick’s hand tighter, letting him know he is still here. Patrick hesitates before continuing, gripping tightly at David’s clasped fingers. “And now David is… my boyfriend.” The word ‘boyfriend’ comes out meek and quieter than any other word. But Patrick said it. And David couldn’t be more proud.

Rachel slowly nods, knowingly. She doesn’t seem shocked. Or mad. Or really anything. It’s quiet and David once again has to fight his instincts to make a snide remark or stand up and leave the room. When she finally speaks, her voice is so quiet that David has to lean in to hear her. “Are you happy?”

For once, Patrick does not hesitate. “I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.”

David has to bite back another smile. He subtly runs a finger across Patrick’s palm. Patrick told her. And Patrick is happy.

She purses her lips and nods again. “Well then I will try to be happy for you,” Rachel says with despondence. “If I’m being honest, I’m not there yet. I might not be for a while. But I will try.”

Patrick nods understandingly. “That’s all I want, Rach.”

“Seems like we’ve both wasted so many years,” Rachel mutters to herself. She sounds more sad than she does bitter. But David is an expert bitter-detector and he can tell she is harboring some resentment deep in her bones. He can’t blame her.

“I’m sorry.”

“I know. I know.” She takes another deep breath, her head finally falling a little down towards her lap. “It’s a lot of information but I knew as soon as I saw David.”

Patrick flashes a quizzical look. “How?”

“When we talked, it was obvious how in love David was with his business partner. Little did I know that you were that business partner,” she says dryly.

David’s heart accelerates at the L word. Was he that obvious? He jumps in for the first time. “I’m sorry you found out this way.” He means it.

She shrugs. “I’m not. Although, I’m guessing this present isn’t going to win you over now,” she chuckles a sad, unhappy laugh. She pulls the beer mug out of it’s place in the gift bag and hands it to Patrick who takes it with an equally bittersweet laugh. “Still a good mug though,” Rachel comments.

“Damn right it is. I have great taste.” Patrick plays with the beer mug in his hands. “Thank you for this. And for…this,” Patrick mutters while raising the glass between the two of them.

Rachel stands, suddenly looking like she is going to cry. “I still have a lot of questions, Patrick. But I don’t think I’m ready to ask them. Or talk about this more right now.”

Standing from the couch, Patrick releases his hand from David’s and takes a step towards her. “I understand. I promise I won’t ignore you anymore. We can talk when you’re ready.”

David stares at his boyfriend in awe. Even in times of awkwardness and grief and messiness, he keeps it together in the most respectful way possible.

Rachel sniffles and looks like she is trying hard to maintain her composure. She starts walking towards the door, attempting to make an exit before the tears in her eyes fall. Patrick follows her and David stays behind, unsure of where the most appropriate place is for him right now.

“Rachel, can you also um not tell anyone about this back home? I haven’t… uh,” Patrick stammers with discomfort.

So maybe he wasn’t as put together as David would like to think. And the question does nothing to ease David’s suspicions of Patrick’s shame in their relationship.

Rachel looks annoyed for the first time since the conversation began. “I’m not a horrible person, Patrick. Of course I won’t say anything.”

The air is tense and Patrick just nods. “I know. Thank you Rachel.” He then leans in abruptly and envelopes her in his arms. David watches the muscles of Patrick’s shirt flex as he squeezes her tightly, her small body fitting neatly into his larger frame. The action seems to be a catalyst and sets off the chain reaction of tears streaming down her face. David feels like an invasive outsider watching an incredibly private moment. He wills himself to look away but he just can’t. He watches in amazement as his boyfriend rubs his hand up and down his crying ex-finance’s back and shoulders.

It only lasts a few seconds before Rachel is quickly pulling away and making her exit towards the door, covering her face as she sniffles. She takes one hand away to wave in David’s direction, who is far too invested in the scenario to even properly respond. She touches Patrick’s shoulder one more time before turning the knob to the threshold. She doesn’t say another word as she closes the door behind her.

Patrick stares after her. He looks devastated. David hates that it makes him jealous. But he hates Patrick’s pain even more. He notices the quivering chin a second before the flood gates open and the tears are falling down. David rushes over to him, holding him despite his own heart breaking for so many other reasons.

David holds him like that until he eventually pulls away and drags him up the stairs to his bedroom. Patrick is still crying and he lets David wrap him up in a blanket on the bed. David clutches him close against his chest until the sounds of sobs slowly morph into hiccups and deep breathing and then silence. _Always too much silence,_ David thinks.

Rubbing Patrick’s shoulder blades and kissing the top of his hair, David contemplates his own feelings. He knows he is upset. Upset at what Patrick said to him. At how he responded to the situation. At how he loved Rachel. At how he cried over her. At how he didn’t want people to know about his relationship with David. Not all of it is fair to be upset over but nonetheless, David is upset.

Still, he continues to whisper “it’s okay” to Patrick over and over, willing it to be true for the both of them. This was just a bump in the road that they could get over. What matters now is that he is here for Patrick. If someone outside the relationship had noticed his clear love for Patrick, then it must be true. And if it is true, then there is nothing that could stop them. They would get through this. They have to. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So things aren’t entirely resolved yet but I promise they will get there! As a story update, I’ve decided I am going to complete this fic soon. If I’m being honest, I could go on writing it forever. But all good things must come to an end and I think it’s time I finish this one up. There will likely be one or two more chapters depending on how much I write. It will be hard to say goodbye to both this fic and the show at the same time. But I hope I can do justice to Patrick and David’s happy ending in this world.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A version of ‘The Olive Branch’ that is nothing like the original.

With a pitiful hug goodbye and a promise to talk when “things are better”, David makes his exit for the night. Patrick suspects it’s for the best but it leaves him with a hot, stabbing pain in his chest. Despite hurting David, he had been there for Patrick; he can’t also expect him to stay the night, comforting him about his ex-fiance. So he wallows in sadness between the sheets, clutching at his aching heart.

The admission to Rachel had been both freeing and anti-climactic. He had always thought coming out would be accompanied by rainbow sparklers and some kind of pride festival thrown in his honor. In actuality, he hadn’t even said the words “I’m gay”. It felt almost like a cop-out to Patrick. Or maybe he was just being hard on himself once again.

He throws the pillow over his head and groans. Everything about this felt off. His whole universal axis was tilted. And the only person who could shift it back into it’s rightful path was the one he had hurt the most. David always made him feel right. He needed that now.

When David detached his body from Patrick’s a mere few hours ago, he had asked for space but promised to be there if Patrick wanted to talk about anything. It was surprisingly selfless and heart-breaking. Despite Patrick’s agreeance to that space, he wanted nothing more right now than to be with David at 2 AM on this warm, spring night.

He squeezes his eyes shut and pictures David laid out on his chest. The windows would be open to let in the breeze churning outside. And he would kiss David on the forehead and tell him that he loves him. He loves him. Why is he laying here alone when he loves him??

The thought jolts Patrick and drives him to spring out of bed. He needs to see David- _now_. Nothing can stop him as he bolts for the door. He hesitates at the front entrance before sprinting back up the stairs to throw some items into his bag. He wants to see David but he has a few stops to make first.

\---

David is restless, tossing the covers back on this shockingly warm night. The atmosphere feels thick with humidity. Or maybe that’s just his own tears. He’s not too sure anymore. He had left Patrick alone in his bed a few hours ago after spending a silent afternoon with him.

The whole situation felt strange. He felt strange. And Patrick clearly wasn’t himself right now. David is trying his best to understand that and respect Patrick’s space but he can still hear Patrick’s words in his head.

_The people who have known me for years. None of them know. The people that matter, David. _

_You’ve never been the best at empathizing._

David shakes his head furiously to silence the noise. He feels like he is going insane torturing himself with thoughts of Patrick. He rolls over to face towards Alexis’ bed where he can see her petite figure under the blankets. She had obviously known something was wrong but David didn’t want to talk about it- not with her or Stevie.

His thoughts are interrupted when he hears a faint knocking sound at the window. David’s body goes rigid and he is suddenly terrified to turn around. _Maybe I actually am going crazy._ David stays completely still, hoping his stoic frame will disguise him in the dark. The noise comes again but slightly louder this time. His heart is already beating fast but the buzz from under his pillow sends him over the edge. He jumps up about 6 inches from the bed. It takes him another few seconds to even grab the phone, afraid any sudden movements might be the breaking point of his sanity.

When he looks at the screen, he has to rub his eyes a few times to understand what he’s looking at. It’s an image… from Patrick. He cautiously opens it to find a dark picture of his own motel room door with a rose placed on the welcome mat. David stares at the door for a few minutes before cautiously stepping out of the bed and making his way to the threshold.

He checks that Alexis is still asleep before quietly opening the door, fully prepared to be murdered first tonight. What he finds instead is a rose laying at his feet. And attached to it- a note. David looks around outside but cannot see anything in the darkness. He gingerly picks up the items and measures the contents up and down. David hesitantly reads the note.

_Pursuing a Rose has never made me happier. I hope following these roses will make you as happy as you make me. _

David eyes the note suspiciously before reading the bottom.

_P.S. Yes I know it sounds creepy but I promise it’s meant to be romantic. _

David cracks a smile and looks up to gather his surroundings. The night is relatively still besides the sound of crickets chirping in the distance. A rose sits on the car window, placed purposefully on the windshield wiper. He looks down at his pajamas and remembers that he always looks cute, even in sleep attire. He slips on a pair of slippers and paddles over to the car where a note and pair of socks are attached. David feels the soft socks between his fingers before reading the note with pure curiosity.

_I bought these socks after our road trip to Misha’s cat hair farm. Despite my allergies, I wanted something to remember one of the best days of my life by. I also know your feet are always cold so put them on and let’s take a trip down memory lane. _

David just about gags at the cat hair and the cheesiness. But it’s also fucking adorable. And he can’t help but think about that wonderful road-trip and how Patrick had _bravely_ risked his life to anaphylactic shock that day. He leans against the car to slip the socks on before putting the slippers back on.

David hesitates for a second. _Am I really about to drive around on some wild goose chase to entertain Patrick’s whimsy? …Yes. _He grabs his keys and hops in the car. Attached to the last note is an address. With apprehension and excitement, David looks up the address and snorts. _Alright here we go. _

The drive over is quiet and for once, David is not itching to fill the silence. He keeps the car radio off and stares straight ahead. He’s not sure how to feel right now but the soft socks on his toes ease his tensions just a little bit.

When he pulls up to the location, he is not surprised to find an empty parking lot and dark windows. Despite ‘The Wobbly Elm’ being a bar, he highly doubted they kept their services open until 3 AM in this small town. His car lights illuminate the light drizzle of rain falling from the sky as he puts it into park.

He already feels the memories of the establishment flooding back- many nights spent with Patrick and Stevie and Alexis after a long days work, laughing and dancing over each other after far too many shots. It had been a time when David had fully accepted his friendship status with Patrick. Things had been easy and good. But there is no way he could go back to that now.

Squinting his eyes, he sees something taped to the front door. He sighs and searches his surroundings again. Did Patrick not realize that this rain was definitely going to ruin his hair?? David takes a deep breath before shoving the car door open and running as he fast as he can to the safety of the overhang at the front of the establishment. For his relationship’s sake, he hopes Patrick isn’t watching his embarrassing trot from the shadows.

Just in case, he pulls the note from the door with as much sass as he can manage. Flipping his slightly wet hair out of his eyes, he reads the message written in Patrick’s handwriting.

_This has been the place of so many crazy, beautiful, reckless nights with you. You called me your best friend. And we danced (badly) together for the the first time. We drank WAY too much. We developed our relationship between games of pool, shots of liquor, and dance lessons in the middle of this sketchy bar on the outskirts of town. _

_P.S. One of the nights we came here after work, you told me that my ass looked “particularly hot” in the new jeans you bought for me. So I may have stolen this as a memory keepsake after I got far too drunk._

Having read the note, David’s eye catches a shimmer of something sitting on the ground. Below him is a rose carefully placed in an old cheap shot glass. David picks up the glass and plays with it between his hands, shocked at the absurdity of the memorabilia. _Who would have guessed it? Patrick Brewer is a common criminal. _

David barely remembers that night, which based on this is probably for the best. He recalls slowly breaking Patrick down everyday to buy these pair of jeans he KNEW would look good on him. Alas, Patrick was not one to buy pieces of clothing for himself. So David took it upon himself (as the good friend he is) to bestow them as a spontaneous gift to Patrick…and well maybe for himself a bit too. And apparently his drunk persona felt it necessary to comment on this.

As embarrassing as it is, David can’t help but smile and hold the shot glass and the rose a bit closer to his chest. He flips the note over to see the message on the back, silently hoping it will just lead him to Patrick already. Another address. He looks around one more time before “sprinting” back to the car in the drizzling rain.

He plugs in the address and groans. Patrick was taking him further and further out of town which felt a bit more like a horror movie than a romantic comedy. With the rain steadily getting heavier, David drove once again with only the sound of the downpour hitting the car and his thoughts as background noise.

When he parks the car, he admires the small vineyard of Herb Ertlinger’s Winery. Since their first date here, Patrick and David had come back a few times for business meetings (all thanks to Patrick’s insistence on holding up their end of the deal). Herb’s enthusiasm for their relationship never seemed to fade. David squints through the rain and notices one table with the umbrella raised, keeping the contents below it dry. He recognizes it as their favorite outdoor table- the one David had insisted has the best views and sun exposure.

David pulls the car as far forward to the location as he can and then speed-walks to the table with earnest. Ducking under the umbrella, he promptly grabs the note taped to the chair. The dryness of the paper despite the now-sideways-slant of the rain leads him to believe that Patrick may not be too far ahead of him on this journey.

Before reading the note, he eyes the rose attached to a picture frame. The frame is a bold choice to say the least. It’s bright and splattered with tie-dye colors around the edges with the large words ‘Coachella’ hand-written across the top. Inside the hand-made frame is the picture of David and Patrick on the Ferris wheel- the very one David had jokingly noted as Coachella-worthy. He is unable to wipe the stupid smile off his face as he reads the note.

_This was the site of our first “official” date. And I say official only because there were so many times before that where I felt like we were on the perfect date. As you may have noticed, Coachella was a close first. I made the frame a week ago as a monthiversary gift for this coming week. But I thought you might like to reminisce with me now instead. _

_And despite Herb’s being our first date, every date feels like the first with you. Remember the day we came here for “pre-game fruit zhampagne” before brunch with Stevie? Alexis ended up having to pick us up because we all got so drunk. But she said she couldn’t be mad because you looked so happy leaning on my shoulder in the back seat of the car on the way home. _

_P.S. The restaurant was a close second unofficial date. But I figured you might kill me if I made you drive all the way to Elmdale. _

Well he wasn’t wrong about that. David admires the frame and silently berates Patrick’s choice in color palette. Still… this is definitely going on his nightstand the minute he gets home. David makes his way back to the car and adds the rose and picture to his ever-growing collection of relationship memorabilia.

The next address is one he is familiar enough with that he chooses not to use his GPS. He is slightly annoyed with Patrick for bringing him back into town but he supposes it’s better than sending him out to Elmdale.

David recalls the brunch day Patrick had mentioned in the letter. It wasn’t all that long ago. They had arranged for a Sunday Brunch at the Cafe but David had insisted on a glass of pre-game champagne to celebrate the successful deal with a new vendor. And yes, maybe it was his fault that the three of them drank a bit too much but the sun had been so warm and the zhampagne was more tolerable than usual and he was just so damn happy.

He distinctly remembers the admiring look he caught from Alexis in the front seat of the car, smiling at him in the rear-view mirror. He rolled his eyes and turned to see Stevie giving the same smiley look in the direction of him and Patrick. Maybe they were clearly seeing something he could not.

David is still deep in thought when he pulls up to the Cafe Tropical. Like everywhere else, the windows are dark and the building quiet. The door is only a few feet away so he can distinctly see the note and rose taped to the door. He gets out anyways; he wants to hold the paper in between his hands so he knows this is real.

_The Cafe is a place of so many firsts for us. And in case you haven’t caught on (of course you have), this night is a celebration to firsts. I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately. And one I can’t get out of my brain is the first time we had dinner here together. We shared those horrible mozzarella sticks over a glass of wine and I knew with 100% certainty that I would do it with you everyday if I could. _

_One of my favorite firsts was the first time I slept in a bed with you. You looked deceptively innocent with your face smooshed up against the pillow. You let your walls down and really allowed me to see you. Although, on second thought, that may just have been the work of the Benadryl (see notes attached)._

David snorts out loud at the ridiculousness of Patrick treating his love notes like an essay. He flips the page back to find a label from a Benadryl bottle. On the label it reads “Warning: Do not feed David Rose pitied fruits.” He laughs again before returning his attention to Patrick’s written words.

_It also got me thinking about our 20 question games when we were just getting to know one another. I’m not sure why we ever stopped. But I want to keep getting to know you. And keep having firsts. Even if that means first fights. _

_P.S. You had once asked me to come up with the 20th question. Naturally, my question was not “David-approved”. So here is another one: will you meet me at our home so we can resolve and add this fight to our historical list of firsts? _

David knows that ‘home’ is not the motel. Or Ray’s house. His gaze turns upwards as he searches for his home across the street. He can already see a figure standing outside the store. His heart jumps into his throat at the sight. He is mostly surprised he hadn’t noticed the physique earlier or thought to glance in the direction of the apothecary. David blames it on Patrick for getting him so caught up in this crazy game of his.

His feet move on their own accord as David walks towards the store- their home. He folds up the paper and stuffs it into his pocket to keep it safe. The rain is now coming down harder than ever and David really should be concerned that it’s destroying his hair but it seems inconsequential at this moment.

Patrick is not standing under the cover of the store; in fact, he steps out further into the rain as David nears him. He stares at David through the downpour, the rain the only noise in the otherwise quiet street. The streetlamp nearby causes the rose in Patrick’s hand to cast a long shadow in the direction of David, just barely touching the tip of his shoe. It’s the most contact David will allow himself to have with Patrick in this moment.

Patrick is the first to shout through the rain. “You look good with your hair in your face.”

None of this felt real. Was David in a dream? David blinks through the heavy drops on his eyelashes, trying his best to see clearly. “And you look like a mess,” David responds. He doesn’t mean to say it but it’s true. Patrick looks equal parts drenched and sad. The comment does bring a shimmer to his gloomy eyes though and for a second, he looks hopeful.

Patrick takes one step forward and holds the rose out in David’s direction in resemblance to a peace offering. “Let’s go inside.”

David hesitates but nods in agreement. He wants to reach out and kiss Patrick, the environment pulling him into the romanticism of it all. Instead, he takes the steps between them and reaches for the outstretched rose. Patrick grazes his hand over David’s purposefully as he hands him the flower. David ducks his head and murmurs a thank you, suddenly feeling shy and uncertain about this whole situation.

Patrick is not uncertain. He reaches out and grabs David’s hand, firm and loving. He squeezes it tightly and lightly tugs him towards the door. He quickly brings them inside, never once letting go of David’s hand. The sensation warms his insides, creating a burning want in his chest.

However, the heat remains internal and David feels wet and exposed and cold outside of the storm. Patrick must notice his discomfort and offers to get them both some blankets from the back. They hesitantly relinquish their hands as Patrick scrambles to find something to warm them up.

David looks around the store. He had come here a few times in the night to catch up on some work or escape a fight with Alexis. It is a place of comfort. But it also is a place of Patrick and David. He couldn’t be here without thinking of Patrick. They were so intertwined in their little home, signs of both of them everywhere. It was both comforting and concerning in the given moment.

Patrick re-appears with blankets and a sweater. David recognizes it as one of Patrick’s favorites from home and wonders if Patrick had somehow planned for this rain all along. He gladly takes it and excuses himself to the bathroom for a minute, needing some time to collect himself. For some reason exposing himself to Patrick right now feels too intense given everything going on.

When he re-appears, Patrick has dimmed the lights and set the blankets down on the couch in the backroom. It feels cozy and nice but also daunting knowing what comes next. David sighs as he sits down, scooting all the way to one end of the couch opposite Patrick. Despite the distance between them, the way Patrick is looking at him makes him think that maybe it is all going to be okay.

\---

So maybe Patrick had gone a bit overboard. He realizes that. But also nothing felt like too much when it came to David. David was the definition of ‘too much’ in the best way possible. And he had to show David that he was going to make this work. He just hoped David would listen and be willing to hear him out.

“I’m sorry I sent you out on a wild adventure in the middle of the night…in the rain.”

“I’m convinced you planned for the rain,” David postulates. 

“I barely planned for what I did do but I appreciate your confidence in my abilities.”

David looks genuinely surprised. “How long ago did you plan this?”

“Oh about 30 minutes before you started traveling all around town. I just grabbed my memory box and figured it out from there.”

“Memory box?,” David inquires, amusement strong in his voice.

“Yes. They are great for storing sentimental memories.” Patrick crosses his arms defensively.

“I’m sorry. When did you become me?,” David asks smugly, his chin resting atop his fist.

“Hey! You spent all night walking around _in the rain_ and adventuring in a small town. When did you become me?”, Patrick throws back at him with equal-parts amusement.

David grins genuinely and timidly. “I guess we’ve been rubbing off on one another.”

“In more ways than one,” Patrick japes. His intention is not to be sexual right now but with David, it’s hard to suppress the thoughts that naturally fly off his tongue.

Thankfully, David is not the least bit bothered by it. In fact, he looks away distantly as a memory plays behind his eyelids. “Mmm you are right about that.” Some of the tension seems to dissipate and Patrick figures it’s better to start talking now than later.

“I have some things I want to say and I would like it if you just listen for a bit. Okay?”

David nods with confidence but his fidgeting fingers reveal an underlying nervousness. He sits up a little straighter on the sofa, his back clearing the soft cushion behind him. He holds the pillow in front of him a little tighter, using it as a shield to protect himself from Patrick. 

Patrick clears his throat and reaches out his hand, the thing he can always rely on to calm both their nerves. He gently pries a hand from David's death grip on the pillow and soothes it between his own. Their hands just rest atop one another, co-existing without actually interacting. “I owe you so many apologies. And I’m not sure I know where to even start.”

He looks up and sees David watching him intently. He nods his head in encouragement for him to continue.

“The whole way I handled the situation with Rachel was unfair towards you. I was struggling with my own internal criticisms and expectations and comparing myself to you. And I know you never asked for any of this. Actually, you are the only reason I feel like it’s all going to be okay.” Patrick takes a deep breath and tries to remember all of the things he wanted to say. They are swirling in his head and it’s hard to find the words that he so badly needs to express to David.

“I know your journey was not just one big pride parade with supportive people lined down the street. If anything, my experience has been pretty much exactly that. And I became terrified to experience anything but the unwavering support that I’ve received in Schitt’s Creek. And that’s on me. Not on you.” Patrick pauses again, trying to collect himself. How else can he possibly express to David how much he means to him?

“And despite how much of an asshole I was, you still showed up for me. And it was one of the most selfless things I’ve ever experienced. And it makes me so proud to be your boyfriend.”

David gives a small smile and squeezes his hand. “Thank you for saying all of that.”

“I mean it.”

“I know. I’m trying to believe that.”

That hurts a little but Patrick knows he deserves it. He strokes David’s skin, still a little dewy from this weird stormy night. Patrick hears the rain hitting the window, it’s pace slowing down. The thunder is distant and traveling away. And with a strike of lighting, Patrick is enlightened with one last thing he can give David.

“I actually have one more present for you tonight.” Patrick stands up briskly and picks up his wallet. He searches through it and pulls out an item, placing it in David’s open, questioning hands.

Silence. Patrick starts to explain himself. “It’s from-”.

“I know. I remember”, David whispers. He looks shocked. Or like he is going to cry. “I can’t believe you kept this.” He appears to be searching for more words. “How- why is this in your wallet?”

Patrick shrugs shyly and places his hand over-tops David. “It’s our good luck charm, right?”

David squeezes the folded paper tightly. “Right.”

The truth was that the little piece of paper always kept Patrick grounded, reminding him how lucky he is to have David in his life. The note had found it’s way into his wallet the morning after a long night of many firsts in their physical relationship (and in Patrick’s life) and had remained there ever since.

_Patrick had been lying on the bed after, breathing heavily into the sheets. David was cleaning up the mess and joining him back on the bed. Patrick promptly lifted his head just so he could lay it back down on David’s chest, sighing contently and pulling him closer. _

_Patrick smiles at the feeling of warmth and happiness spreading through his body. Still barely able to talk, he mumbles, “You know I’ve heard that it’s good luck if your first sexual awakening lasts less than 5 minutes?”_

_“Oh really?”, David had giggled with delight. He ran his hand up and down Patrick’s back. “Well good thing you finished in 4 minutes and 59 seconds.”_

_“Mhmm. It’s kinda like rain on your wedding day or a four leaf clover or something,” Patrick grumbles, his foggy post-sex brain not really comprehending his own words. _

_David entertains his idiocy. “So you believe our relationship has been blessed with your fast climax?”_

_“That is exactly what I’m saying. That was… incredible.” It really was. Patrick pauses for a second and whispers, “Thank you, by the way.” Patrick covers up his smile, burying himself further into David’s chest. “I think we’ve brought good fortune to the rest of our relationship. Honestly we should get it down in writing,” Patrick rambles on. _

_David runs his hand up and down Patrick’s back. “Like an Omamori?”_

_“A what?”_

_“They are Japanese charms or prayers kept inside of a little cloth pouch. They are supposed to bring good luck for whatever is written inside. But you can’t open it or the luck does not work.” David was always interested in anything related to Japan and Patrick loved hearing him spout off random facts and cultural interests. He can hear the excitement in his voice to talk about something he normally did not have the chance to share with anyone else. Patrick listens as he carries on, his full attention enraptured in David. “They aren’t necessarily considered a religious amulet anymore now that they are more commercialized. But I think the sentiment still stands.” _

_“Yeah totally. Just like a… Ohmanani.”_

_“Omamori”, David corrects him. _

_“We should have one for us.”_

_“I’ll make sure we get a pair of Enmusubi when we go to Japan.”_

_Patrick’s heart swells at the thought of taking a trip with David, especially knowing it is one so special to him. He just wants to make David happy. Without another word, Patrick lifts his heavy head and scans the nightstand. He grabs at the interior design magazine David had once given him in hopes of “inspiring” his bedroom decor. Patrick flips to the page that had been dog-eared by David- a beautiful outdoor patio with twinkly lights, an outdoor sofa, and a fire pit. A couple sits on the comfortable chic couch, laughing at seemingly nothing. It has no relevance to Patrick’s current situation but he knows David just likes looking at it and dreaming._

_He gently tears the paper down the seam as David looks on in horror. “Hey!”_

_Patrick folds the paper meticulously, trying his best to be neat about it knowing it will bother David if one edge does not line up. He reaches for a pen and purposefully moves his body off David’s so he can’t see what he’s writing inside the paper. Then, he folds it into a small envelope and shows it to David with satisfaction. _

_“There. Now we have an Omamori until I take you to Japan.”_

_David looks at him fondly and grabs for the paper, attempting to open it in the process. _

_Patrick snatches it away. “You can’t open it! It needs to come true first.”_

_David rolls his eyes. “Nothing about this is correct but I’ll humor you because you’re so fucking adorable.”_

_“Oh I’m adorable, huh?,” Patrick says cheekily. He kisses David’s neck with intent and runs a hand down his stomach. “Pretty sure you thought I was a little more than adorable a few minutes ago.”_

_David rolls his eyes while Patrick licks at his neck, determined in backing his words. It doesn’t take long for them to abandon the small envelope on the nightstand and return to enjoying each others company. Only later does Patrick place the little note into his wallet, carrying it with him everywhere he goes. _

David is squeezing the paper tightly, clutching it against his chest. A wetness forms in the corner of his eyes and he takes his time in responding in order not to cry on the spot. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t say anything,” Patrick whispers quietly.

The paper jumps between David’s nervous fingers. He looks deep in thought and contemplates out loud, “I wish I knew what it said.”

He outstretches his hand, needing to touch David once again. David gladly takes it, staring up at him with love. _Love_. “You already know what it says,” he murmurs.

David can’t hold back anymore. He leaps to his feet and wraps his arms tightly around Patrick’s shoulders, vowing to never let go. Patrick feels so much relief flood through his body- the sensation is instantaneous. He pulls back so he can cup David’s cheek and look him in the eyes. “I am so lucky.”

David nods knowingly and smirks. “You are.”

_God I love this man. _Patrick cannot wait one more second. He closes the gap and kisses him hard on the lips. It feels like he has been living without air for days and can finally breathe again. Patrick slings his arms around David’s waist, constricting him in his grasp. His hands keep finding new ways to grip David, melting into different parts of his body every few seconds. The kiss is passionate and desperate and full of unsaid (but written) words.

When they finally pull away, Patrick is practically panting. He could push David up against the wall right now. But he contains himself. David looks dazed and content and sleepy. But there is one more thing he has planned for tonight… if he can convince David.

“So I’ve got one more surprise,” he says cautiously but confidently.

David blanches and collapses onto the couch. “Patrick… I literally don’t think I can handle any more surprises. I’m exhausted. Physically. And emotionally.”

Instead of responding, Patrick hovers over the desk, reaching into the drawers below. Out he pulls two flashlights, one of which he hands to David. “You’ll need this.”

David looks at the item dumbly in his hands like he has no idea what it is. Patrick continues his search through the drawer and pulls out one more thing to hand to David. “And this.” And places a joint in his hand.

Bewildered, David holds the two items in utter confusion. Patrick thinks he looks adorable when he’s confused but figures he deserves somewhat of an explanation. “Another first we had was smoking together. Which actually ended up leading to the most monumental morning of my life. I figure we turn it into a second and make it an even better morning.”

David’s eye wanders toward the clock in further disarray. “Shit. It’s already 5 AM.”

With a hop in his step, Patrick leaps over to David and pulls him from the comfy spot on the couch. “Perfect. Then we have an hour and a half before sunrise.”

“Until what?!”

“It’s the time in the day when the sun comes up in the sky, David.” Patrick grabs the backpack he had packed in preparation for the last leg of their adventure tonight. “Our journey started with weed. Tonight- it ends with weed.”

David is dumbfounded. And entertained. Probably not for long but Patrick will enjoy it for now. “You’re insane.”

Patrick pulls him towards the door, locking up and turning everything off as he goes. “Come on. I’m going to take you to my favorite place.”

“Patrick…,” the concern returning in David’s voice.

“Trust me.” _Please. _

David looks at Patrick. The two of them stand in the middle of their store- the one they’ve built together. He stands with a man who has shown him that it’s okay to trust. “I trust you.” David’s surprised that he genuinely means it. “Give me one second though.”

David unwraps their clasped hands and picks up the tiny, lucky envelope that’s made it’s way into his pocket. He wants to see it everyday and remember its significance. He holds it tightly before placing it on his desk. Inside is a promise to the life David is destined for- a beautiful home, a loving relationship, and happiness. David walks back into the arms of Patrick and away from the concealed note that reads “Love David Rose for the rest of my life.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as you may have noticed, there will actually be one more chapter because I get far too carried away while writing this. The reference to David’s interest in Japanese culture is inspired from Dan Levy’s love for Japan. I hope you enjoyed reading this loose interpretation of Olive Branch and are happy with the resolution. One more chapter to go people! Thank you for being so supportive and continuing to read and comment! ❤


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A final adventure and an epilogue (of sorts).

“Are you going to murder me?” David looks around suspiciously as he steps out of the car. “Was this whole night just a tactic to make me feel comfortable and now you are going to kill me and bury me in the woods?”

“Nope. There is no murder occurring here… not tonight, at least.”

David glares at Patrick’s grinning face. “I hate you.” It’s the opposite of what he wants to say after the crazy night they’ve had together. But he still can’t bring himself to say it. It eats away at his insides like toxic waste, destroying him from the inside out.

Walking ahead, Patrick slings the backpack over his shoulder and walks away from the car towards the darkness with not a care in the world. David flounders behind, tripping over a branch in the dark and almost face-planting. Patrick turns around and shouts, “Flashlight, David!”

It takes David all of 30 seconds to figure out how to turn the flashlight on, grunting and huffing the entire time while simultaneously trying to follow in Patrick’s footsteps. “What are we doing?!”, he exclaims when he finally gets the flashlight on and his feet under him.

“Just a little hike”, Patrick states far too casually. David can practically hear the cheeky smile on his face.

“A little WHAT,” David halts in his spot, refusing to tread any further through the dark, treacherous forest.

Turning around, Patrick shines his flashlight in David’s face who immediately covers his eyes to block out the bright light. Patrick firmly places his other hand on David’s shoulder and looks him in the eye. “David, trust me. I promise it will be worth it.”

Blame it on the sleep deprivation or the emotional roller coaster of a night or being blinded by this fucking flashlight…and love, David gives in. “Fine. But there better be cheese in that fucking bag.”

Patrick grins ear to ear and kisses David’s nose lightly before hopping away with an astonishing amount of energy. “Come on.”

“Umm can I get a confirmation on the cheese? Thanks so much.”

David follows Patrick for what feels like forever. He struggles to catch up but Patrick always waits and turns around, pulling David forward by his hand. He trips approximately 5000 times and Patrick giggles and encourages him despite David’s growing frustrations and increased frequency of swearing. The ground is still damp with signs of the heavy rain from just a few hours prior, causing even more difficulty for David.

On the 5001th near-death-tumble, David almost falls flat on his face. “Fuck!” He catches himself on a nearby tree and props himself up, dramatically leaning over the trunk. “Motherfucker.” He kicks the tree in anger which only results in his toe throbbing. “Ugh shit.”

Patrick watches on from above him. “David, the sun rises in 30 minutes. You can cuss out mother nature later.”

David groans and murmurs one last, “Fucking tree.” Despite his anger, the view isn’t too bad as he watches Patrick walk ahead of him. David admires his boyfriend’s beautiful physique and contemplates pinning him against a tree right now and having his way with him. Too bad its six in the morning and David definitely does not have the energy or strength for that right now.

When he feels like he is on the brink of collapse, he sees a break in the trees in front of Patrick. And then Patrick is turning around and smiling at him again with that big stupid grin. Only that smile could convince David to climb a mountain in the middle of the night.

“We made it!” Patrick is filled with excitement like a little kid. Its both simultaneously endearing and frustrating.

Noticing his surroundings, David can see the glow of dawn approaching across the landscape. Below them is a large drop off and a beautiful view of the trees on the forest floor. He imagines the view can only get better with the sunrise. “Wow this is actually pretty nice.”

“I wouldn’t take you here if I didn’t think it would be worth it.” He glances down at his watch. “Okay we’ve got 15 minutes. Let me set up.”

“Set up?”

“Yeah blankets, weed, and cheese. And maybe a few other snacks as well.” He sends David a wink as he unpacks multiple bags of munchies.

Yup, it’s official. David loves this man.

\---

After laying down the copious amounts of fluffy blankets he managed to fit in one backpack and unveiling the cheese and blunt, Patrick settles down next to David who is already laying on his stomach and staring out at the scenery.

David eyes Patrick suspiciously as he passes him the joint and lighter. “Are you sure you want to do it again? You didn’t exactly have a great experience last time.”

“I’m sure. Last time I was anxious about accidentally revealing my feelings and being honest with you. I don’t have anything to hide anymore.” It is true down to his bones. Patrick is out. He is in love with his best friend and the greatest man he’s ever met. It’s 6:30 in the morning and he could scream with joy over the mountain cliffs.

David stares at him a long time, ensuring that Patrick means it, before lighting up and taking a long drag. He inhales deeply and blows the smoke out towards the nothingness in front of them. He passes it to Patrick who emulates confidence; however, his coughing fit gives him away and now its David’s turn to laugh at him.

“Mmm a natural.”

“A pro really,” Patrick mutters between coughs. He still takes another hit when David passes it to him a minute later.

“Stealing from bars? Smoking weed? Breaking and entering on public property during closed parks hours? Who knew Patrick Brewer was such a bad boy?”

“Mhmm I’m veryyy naughty.”

The comment causes David to heave on his inhalation, leaving him coughing incessantly. He doubles over between choking and laughing.

“A natural,” Patrick mocks in return.

“Not fair. Foul play… or whatever you call it.”

“Aw you used a sport term correctly. I’m so proud of you.”

“Right right. Now let’s get back to this naughty thing.” His priorities are clearly in the right place.

Patrick ignores David and pulls out the one thing that will distract him right now.

“Cheese!”

Patrick smiles warmly at David’s immediate happiness to bite into each piece of cheese. He takes off his own piece and motions for David to take a bite.

“Are you feeding me?”

“Mhmm.” David takes a bite from the large slice of cheddar and Patrick finishes it off by tossing it into his own mouth. _Wow. This tastes amazing._ Patrick shoves another piece into his mouth… and then another. _Since when does cheese taste so good? _

“It’s like I’m a king.” David looks at him haughtily.

“More like a rat,” Patrick spits out, cheese still stuffed in his own cheeks.

For some reason it causes David to burst out laughing, rolling over on to his side and practically falling on top of Patrick’s back. The vibrations of David laughing against him set him off as well and soon they are crying laughing into one another, egging each other on with more and more stupid comments. Patrick’s starting to get why this whole weed thing might be fun, especially with David.

When they finally wipe the tears away, David sits up to re-position and get a better view of the ascending sun. Patrick joins him and presses his shoulder into his partners as they sit criss-cross towards the cliff. They are silent for a few minutes, wide smiles painted across their faces. David finally breaks the quiet with a hushed remark.

“I loved adventuring down memory lane with you tonight.” He looks at Patrick with admiration. “But I think I love making new memories even more.”

Patrick couldn’t agree more. He kisses David’s smiling lips and they both return their attention to the rising sun peaking over the mountains. Yellow and pink paint the summits like an erupting volcano covering the morning sky. The sight is glorious but Patrick can’t help but sneak peaks at the man next to him- the reactions on his face even more stunning than the sight before him.

He loves David. He really does.

\---

David’s heart beats loudly in his ears. “I loved adventuring down memory lane with you tonight.” And…? “But I think I love making new memories even more.” _And I love you. _The words stick to the tip of his tongue, refusing to loosen and fall out of his mouth. And then Patrick is kissing him sweetly and looking away towards the sunrise and David’s courage is waning.

He turns his attention towards the view. It is beautiful. But his mind is somewhere else. Somewhere where he is as brave as Patrick, putting his whole heart on the line. Patrick really did that. He always put his all into loving David. And what did David do in return? The question hits him hard and he suddenly feels like crying. He swallows the lump in his throat and leans his head onto Patrick’s shoulder, relaxing his weight into Patrick and letting him fully support them both in their half-sitting, half-laying position.

“You do a lot for me,” David acknowledges into Patrick’s sweater, barely loud enough for Patrick to hear. It’s easier when he can’t see his reaction.

Patrick hums before responding. “I like doing things for you.”

“I want to do things for you too.”

“Just being here with me is all you have to do.”

There he goes again saying such ridiculously sweet things. Normal human beings don’t say such things. Stevie would agree. He is far too nice. But David _wants _to be nice to him. He actually wants to do something for him. And there is only one thing he can think of. And yet, it is almost too much for him to do, or rather- say.

He pulls back and really looks at Patrick’s face in the glowing morning light. The colors suit Patrick perfectly, paralleling his warm and comforting persona. David can tell Patrick means what he says and that leaves him in a daze all over again.

And despite the solace of the warm sun against his face, David can feel the magic of the night slowly dissipating with the departing darkness. He knows it’s still there but David is used to relationships changing with the presence of morning- and not usually in a good way. A sense of urgency comes over him and suddenly-

“Patrick.” _Oh. That’s my voice,_ David realizes.

Patrick doesn’t respond. He just provides a small encouraging smile and places a hand on David’s cheek, running a soothing thumb over his jaw bone. Despite his fear of the crack of dawn bringing regret along with it, David feels none. For once, the presence of the sun rising after a great night was wrapping him in a reassuring, loving blanket.

David runs his hand over Patrick’s hand placed on his cheek and looks him in the eyes. “I love you.”

He can visibly feel the wind leave Patrick’s body. He can tell he is trying to keep it together in order not to scare David but he can’t hide the gleam of happiness in his eyes.

Words continue to flow from him before he can stop himself. “I know we haven’t said that before. But… I had to tell you. Because it felt right to me… in this moment.” Patrick still looks simultaneously shocked and elated. His lack of response causes David to ramble on. “You don’t have to say it back. If you don’t want. I know that it’s probably not like that for you-”

David’s words are cut off by Patrick pressing his lips chastely against David’s. The kiss doesn’t really go anywhere but their mouths linger against one another until Patrick pulls away. “You’re impossible.”

“I suppose I’ve been called worse.”

“And an idiot.”

“Fair.”

“Totally ridiculous.”

“True.”

Patrick smiles and kisses David once more, hard and firm. The intensity of the kiss is juxtaposed with the soft whisper against his lips. “Of course I love you.”

David breathes a sigh of relief. “Okay for a minute I thought this was going to get very dark. ”

Patrick laughs breathily and reconnects their lips again. The sun has now completely broken the sky and the warmth feels like a blanket wrapped around their bubble. The feeling of heat and Patrick and love sends a chill down David’s back, the hairs standing up on his arms.

Patrick pulls away. “Are you cold?”

He isn’t at all. “Yes.”

“We should get going. The store opens in an hour.”

David externally groans and lays his head on Patrick’s shoulder. “I will throw myself off this cliff before I actively choose to go to work today. Will you carry me?”

Patrick laughs and pats David’s back with feigned empathy. They sit in silence a few more minutes, soaking in the morning…and the night. It feels so real right now that part of David doesn’t actually want to got to sleep out of fear he might realize it was all a dream. Nonetheless, his eyes start to fall and Patrick transforms into a comfy pillow. David had never felt so at peace.

Patrick eventually has to stir him awake. As he packs, David spreads out on the blanket and snuggles into a cocoon. It takes a lot of convincing and bribing to get David to move. The trick that does it is a long kiss to his forehead and a whispered, “I love you. Let’s get you home.”

Despite his tired eyes and feet, David lifts himself up- or rather, Patrick hauls him up. His mumbling and groaning replace the once sweet nothings moments ago. Patrick laughs as they start down the trail. “So at this rate, is it fair to say I’ll never compete with Mariah?”

He remembers. Of course he does. David smirks. “If you make me work today, I wouldn’t push your luck.”

\---

~6 MONTHS LATER~

Warm sunset mornings and summer rains are far behind them. Winter brings a whole new chapter for David and Patrick. After more than half a year of dating, the two were starting to feel like they were settling into their relationship. And not in the boring way, as David suspected. In fact, new “firsts” were always occurring. The latest one happened to be the holidays.

The thought of spending that time together hadn’t really occurred to David until the season was already upon them. Christmas was only a week away and Patrick was set to drive home to visit his family. David hadn’t thought much of it since the Roses’ hadn’t been giving the holidays much attention since moving to Schitt’s Creek.

“What do you think? The dark blue or light blue shirt?” Patrick held up two options over top his suitcase.

“I think you mean navy blue or ceil blue? And the correct choice is always navy.”

“Obviously,” Patrick murmurs sarcastically. He begins to fold the shirt in on itself to pack away.

“What are you doing?” David stares in shock and disgust.

“What?”

“Are you folding you nice shirt and putting it IN to your suitcase?”

“I’m not sure if you know this David, but the belongings you want to take with you on a trip…go into this little compact box called a suitcase.”

“It’s going to wrinkle.”

“I’ll throw it in the dryer when I get there.”

“The dryer??”, David repeats with disdain. “Honestly I should go with you just so you don’t embarrass yourself with your poor clothing management skills.”

Stopping his movements, Patrick looks up from the folded shirt in his hand. “You want to come with me to spend the holidays with my family?”

Oh… “No. That’s not what I meant. I just don’t want to be associated with your bad habits. I mean…what will they think? That I just actively allow silk shirts to be stuffed into luggage?”

Patrick is smiling at him now, with a hint of reverence and excitement behind his eyes. “You know…you’re right David.”

A rare statement coming from Patrick unless it was sarcastic. “Obviously…?”

“I don’t think I could handle these nice shirts without your assistance.”

“...Clearly.”

“So maybe you should come with me. Keep my shirts in line. Make sure I don’t put shame to your name.”

The magazine David is flipping through falls flat on his face where he lay on Patrick’s bed. He scrambles to remove it and sit up straight to look at Patrick. “You want me to come spend Christmas with you and your family?” He has to clarify because that just can’t be right.

“I think it’s more of a necessity at this point, David.”

David has a feeling that he might be referring to more than just the shirts. And meeting his boyfriend’s family seems like the most terrifying thing he could actively put himself through. And yet… “Do you want to use my black or brown suede garment bag?”

\---

Asking David to join him for the holidays felt natural to Patrick . He ran with the emotion and didn’t second-guess the idea. That’s how most of their relationship had formed and he wasn’t about to start doubting the method now. But that doesn’t mean his stomach isn’t churning as he pulls up to his childhood home, hand in hand with the man he loves.

He hadn’t told his parents. Honestly he wasn’t sure how he could over the phone. And maybe it was the wrong way to go about it. Maybe he was completely screwing this up. But… how could it be wrong when David is beaming at the snow falling from the sky and fixing the cute beanie atop his head?

David must sense his apprehension as they pull up the freshly shoveled driveway. “Hey you are not allowed to be nervous. That’s my thing.” He smiles and squeezes Patrick’s glove-worn hand. “My fear of meeting your parents is enough for the both of us.”

“They are going to love you.” Patrick knows it’s true.

This is the part where David usually says something cocky and confident but instead he grips Patrick’s hand a little tighter. “They love you. No matter what.”

Patrick tries to hear the words but decides to just let fate decide the veracity of the statement. He kisses David on the cheek before hopping out of the car and grabbing their luggage. Naturally, David waits in the car until Patrick is coming around the other side to open the door for him and lead them to the front entrance of the quaint brick home.

Without even making an active choice about it, Patrick holds David’s hand as they approach the door. Before he can second-guess his actions, the door is swinging open and his mother is rushing the both of them. She gathers Patrick in her arms and he lets the warmth seep into his skin through the nippy air. His hand is somewhere still tied to David who he knows must feel completely uncomfortable and out of his element right now.

“Oh my sweet boy.”

“Hi mom,” he squeaks out of his compressed lungs. 

She steps back and only briefly glances at their clasped hands before her already-smiling-face is radiant. “And you must be David.”

“Yes um hi Mrs--”

Marcy is squeezing David tightly, arms wrapped completely around him in an enveloping hug. She pats his back affectionately and holds on a second longer than she would with any other guest. “Call me Marcy, dear.”

Nodding into her shoulder, David is speechless for once. She pulls back and ushers them inside. “Come in come in. We’ve got dinner coming out in a few minutes. Patrick’s favorite chicken chili.”

Patrick still feels tense like he is walking through a dream. Perhaps his mother doesn’t fully understand exactly what David is to him? Perhaps she doesn’t realize-

“Son.” The voice strikes a little more fear in his heart but Patrick is determined at this point to keep holding David’s hand. He’s not sure he could even let go at this point if he tried. He grips it like a life line and he just hopes David isn’t too angry about the inevitable indents to be left on his skin from the rings on his fingers.

His dad gets up from his place on the couch and stares an extra second down at the clasped hands. Just like his mother, his dad’s smiling face morphs into something even more joyous. At least, Patrick hopes that’s what it is. His dad gives him a side hug and a pat on the back. “It’s good to see you Patrick.”

Don’t cry don’t cry, he has to chant to himself. “You too, Dad.”

Pulling away, Clint approaches David with a warm inviting hand. David attempts to worm his way out of Patrick’s tight grasp. _Oh right he needs that to shake his hand_, Patrick’s brain slowly recognizes. Patrick watches them as if it is a movie playing out in front of him. David reaches for his father’s hand and smiles with his tight-lipped awkward grin. “It is nice to meet you, Mr. Brewer.”

“We’ve heard so much about you, David.”

_I should say something. Right?_

But before he can find his voice, they are pulling away and everyone is smiling and the conversation is already shifting to something about the store and Patrick can barely focus in on the words being said around him. His mom is setting the table as she asks question after question about everything. His dad supplements the conversation with some kind of anecdote and David responds pleasantly and unapologetically himself through the whole thing.

He follows David blindly as he is lead into his own dining room where the meal is being placed on the table. His ability to speak seems to return as his mom commands them to sit down for dinner. David tugs at his hand and Patrick really sees him for the first time tonight, looking back at him with concerned, warm eyes. It’s okay.

“And what are those soaps made out of sweetie?,” Marcy inquires of David genuinely.

“Well the main ingredient is actually goats milk and a-”.

“David is my boyfriend.” The words tumble out of his mouth at full velocity like a dam that has finally broken.

He looks around and they are all staring at him with various expressions. Awe? Perhaps confusion? Surprise? But not anger, Patrick notes. No disappointment. He clears his throat, trying to fill the silence.

“Well that is wonderful sweetie. We are so happy for you,” his mom states with authentic glee.

“You seem like you really make each other happy,” his dad concurs.

Has the dam already run dry? Why can’t he find words again? Why weren’t they asking more questions? Thank god for David who seems to be the only one of the two of them handling this well.

“Thank you Mr and Mrs Brewer. We are very happy together,” David states politely and flashes him a somewhat-panicked but beaming smile.

He realizes he can leave it there. He doesn’t have to say more. It’s okay. But he wants to say more. Because he didn’t feel like he had the chance before. And it suddenly seems very important that the words come out of his mouth. “I’m gay.” It comes out of him easier than coming out should have ever been. He figures that was the result of holding it in for so long. Or maybe it’s just that it finally felt right.

His mom and dad maintain their smiles and remain quiet in case he has more to say. He doesn’t. David squeezes his hand extra tight. He can see how proud David looks. This was the moment he wanted all along. This is how Patrick had wanted it.

“We are so happy for you, my sweet boy.” He can see tears of happiness in his mom’s eyes and the relief that floods through him is instantaneous. He wants to get up and squeeze her.

He looks to his dad for a sign of disapproval. His expression is unwavering. “Dad?”

“I’m proud of you for telling us, Patrick.”

Patrick audibly sighs in relief, his shoulders sinking a bit into relaxation. It’s okay. David is looking at him and it’s okay. He picks up his spoon and digs into his favorite meal, surrounded by his family, while holding the hand of the man of his dreams.

\---

The fire roars in the middle of the room, crackles and pops filling the air alongside the soft sound of Christmas music. The lights on the Christmas tree reflect across Patrick’s shining face, tinting his cheeks even redder than the wine has already made them. The four of them sit on the comfortable cloth couch, blankets wrapped around pajama-clad bodies as the snow falls outside the large windows.

David is cuddled into Patrick’s side. And David couldn’t be more proud of his boyfriend who wraps his arms confidently around him in front of his parents. The conversation has shifted from the heavy confessionals earlier to something much lighter and cheerful.

“And this is Patrick at his senior prom”, Marcy beams as she passes the photo album to David.

“Oh wow. The blue suit is a _bold _choice.” David runs his finger gleefully over the picture. “You look beautiful,” he says sardonically with a smile on his face.

Rolling his eyes, Patrick grabs for the photos. David keeps his grip tight so he can continue flipping through the book of memories. “It was the style at the time, David.”

“Tacky suits and bad haircuts were the style?”

Patrick’s parents are smiling at the playful interaction, making David feel light and airy. He can’t imagine a better Christmas. Well… except one spent with his own family. They had acted unaffected by his exit for the holidays but he wishes now that they were here to join in on the evening, even if that meant old photos of his own asymmetrical haircut resurfacing.

As if they had read David’s mind, Patrick’s phone begins to ring. David peeks over to see Stevie’s name flash across the screen. Before David can make a surprised or offended comment, Patrick is answering the video call with both his and David’s face in full view of the camera.

The phone dings as it connects and then Stevie’s tipsy face is plastered on the screen. “Merry Christmas, Patrick.”

“Merry Christmas, Stevie,” Patrick chimes enthusiastically.

“Um do I not get a Merry Christmas?,” David interjects.

“I thought you were Jewish?”

“I’m a delightful half-half situation.”

“Well whichever half is feeling most generous allow me to open the bottle of wine you have hidden under your bed? I have my own holiday tradition. It’s like the 12 days of Christmas but its one day with 12 bottles of wine. Unfortunately, Alexis and Mrs. Rose decided to join in on my tradition this year so the wine is disappearing a lot quicker than usual.”

“Umm what? Are you with my family right now?”

Stevie flips the camera and pans toward his own bedroom filled with his parents and sister sitting around the table. David can clearly see that the bottle of wine in question is already open and being poured in generous amounts into the glasses on the table. “Hey!”

Moira swirls her wine and takes a sip. “Does anyone hear David? I could have sworn I heard his discomfited vocalism from Stevie’s device.”

“I’m here. Watching you drink my wine.”

“Oh my god David. It’s not even good wine. It’s literally just a giant bottle of some no-name brand,” Alexis sneers.

“Oh David! Merry Christmas son. We miss you. Luckily we have Stevie here to spend the holiday with,” his dad says with glee in the direction of Stevie. Stevie flips the camera back around and looks surprisingly happy.

David is seething at their irritating behavior, almost forgetting where he is in the process. “Sounds like you guys are having fun!,” Patrick exclaims genuinely.

“Only thing missing is you two.” Stevie says it jokingly but David can tell that she means it.

David is once again reminded of his surroundings when Patrick’s dad chimes in on the conversation. “Sorry to steal them away from you, Stevie.” He says it a bit too loud as if Stevie can’t hear him across the tiny, quiet room. He finds it a lot more endearing when Clint does it than when his own parents do.

Patrick shifts the phone so it captures the rest of the family on the couch. Knowing Stevie, David is positive she is internally dying of embarrassment and uncertainty of what to say next. They were never the ‘good with parents type.’ “Uh no that’s okay. You can keep them,” she laughs awkwardly.

“Are those Patrick’s parents?” Alexis’ voice carries from off the screen. And then her face is right there next to Stevie’s, beaming with excitement. “Hi Mr and Mrs Brewer! I’m sure you’ve heard of me. David’s better half- Alexis.” She points at the A dangling from her neck. 

The Brewer’s barely wave hello before both of David’s parents are clambering into the screen view as well. His dad is squinting at the camera and his mom is cheering her wine glass in their direction.

“It’s so nice to meet you,” his dad yells loudly.

“What a delight to meet Patrick’s progenitors,” Moira exclaims.

David shrinks down into the couch with embarrassment. “Please make it stop.”

No one seems to note David’s distress. Instead, Patrick feeds the flame. “Merry Christmas, Mr and Mrs Rose! And Alexis, of course.”

“Hello everyone! We are so happy to meet David’s family,” Marcy smiles widely.

And suddenly their parents are delving into a full conversation about the store and the holidays and how Moira is “absolutely flabbergasted that David finally associated himself with someone respectable.” David just groans and makes snide comments while Alexis, Stevie and Patrick join in on the conversation just to irk David even more.

It finally comes to the point where Johnny decides to pull out an old high school picture of David from his wallet. _Wow so this is actually happening_, David thinks regretfully.

“Alright this has been fun but I think it’s time for me to go outside and freeze to death,” David mopes, his body still fully pressed cozily into Patrick’s side.

“Wow so what time is the ghost of Christmas past coming to visit you tonight?,” Stevie remarks snidely.

“Oh burn David,” Patrick and Alexis both say almost simultaneously.

Everyone laughs and David groans. “Okay I hated that.”

When the laughing dies down, Marcy politely interjects. “Well we better get going to bed. We have an early morning of present-opening.”

“And we have 6 more bottles to get through,” Stevie murmurs.

“Maybe next year we can all celebrate the holidays together,” Patrick recommends. David can see in the camera the own look of shock on his face and Patrick turning to eye him. He looks back at Patrick, their faces particularly close on the small couch. He squeezes David’s hand under the blanket and smiles shyly. They are definitely staring at each other way too long because Alexis interrupts with a small “ew David” and Stevie is flashing a boastful know-it-all-grin.

“We could have a Christmas party,” Johnny thinks out loud, the wheels visibly turning in his head. “It’s been so long since we’ve had a classic Rose family holiday event.”

They all seem to be in agreeance and waiting for David’s own response who is still staring at Patrick intensely. Patrick wants to be with him next Christmas. With his crazy family. Together. He feels like his heart has grown three sizes today. “I _suppose _this gives me enough time to mood board a color scheme.”

Patrick stares at him with fondness and love and David feels like he might crack under his gaze. But when he turns back to look at their delayed video screen, he can see his own expression emoting just as much love. Patrick is planning to be with him a year from now. And it doesn’t scare David. Or make him suspicious. Or make him feel anything but happy. And okay, maybe it also makes him a little nervous to have his family in the same room as the Brewer’s but it seems worth it.

The conversation transitions to goodbyes; David listens through clouded ears. Alexis blows a kiss, Moira tips her glass in their direction once again, Johnny tries to give a heartfelt message only to be interrupted by Stevie claiming she is going to go grab more wine from the apothecary followed by her quickly ending the call. 

Patrick’s parents stand up after that, yawning as they go. “Well we are going to sleep. You boys are free to stay up. We are so happy you are here.”

Patrick stands to give them both hugs that last a bit too long for just a simple goodnight. David knows it means more than they all pretend it to be. They both pull away and lean down to hug David who is still sitting on the couch. The affection is unexpected but welcome.

When Marcy and Clint leave, Patrick sits down on David’s lap and pulls the blanket over top of them. David lets out a small “oof” at the unanticipated contact but quickly wraps his arms around Patrick’s middle and pulls him in closer. Patrick fully relaxes on him and nuzzles his head into the crook of David’s neck. David takes the opportunity to place tiny kisses all along Patrick’s forehead. 

They stay quiet. The sound of the fireplace is soothing, slowly lulling David into a comfortable relaxation. Patrick is syncing his breathing with his, their chests rising and falling slower and slower coming down from the events of the day.

David runs a soothing hand up and down Patrick’s back and thinks out loud. “So you want to keep me around for another year?”

“Well actually I’m just curious what a Rose Christmas party looks like.”

“Mmm very lavish. I’m sure you’ve read about them.”

“I have not. But I do distinctly remember your Christmas performance at Asbestos fest so I think I have a pretty good idea.”

“Don’t get your hopes up,” David murmurs into the peaceful space.

David can feel the soft smile on his face as they fall into silence for another minute. Then it’s Patrick’s turn to think out loud. “Thank you.”

“For?,” David asks taken-aback.

“For today. For being you. For everything.”

David shrugs. “What can I say? I’m kind of incredible.”

“You kind of are,” Patrick chuckles into his neck. He brushes his lips against the sensitive spot under David’s chin. He places one kiss and then another. “Thank you for making everything okay.”

That causes David’s head to turn and interrupt the attack on his neck. He cranes his head awkwardly so he can glance down at Patrick who is looking at him with appreciation. He leans forward and gently presses a kiss to Patrick’s pouting lips. Their mouths ghost over one another’s in exploration like it’s brand new territory. David lightly licks at Patrick’s bottom lip and opens his mouth with his own. David might never get used to this. He only stops because his neck starts to cramp at the uncomfortable angle.

They are both content with returning to their previous position, with Patrick sleepily applying feather-light kisses to David’s jaw. They both sigh in satisfaction, holding each other closer than before.

“So can I open my present tonight?”

“What makes you think I got you a present?,” Patrick mumbles into David’s ear.

“I saw you sneak that little box under the tree after dinner.”

Patrick just hums in understanding but refuses to say more.

“Is it keys to a new car?”, David inquires hopefully.

Patrick continues to ignore him.

“A watch? You know I find them tacky. Maybe some sort of sentimental gift? I know how into that you are,” David carries on guessing.

Patrick eventually shuts him up by licking at the sensitive part of his neck over and over until David forgets about the present under the tree.

“What if I told you I also got you a present,” David whispers in-between surprised gasps as Patrick continues his exploration of David’s body.

“Oh really?,” Patrick whispers into David’s ear and bites at the lobe.

“Mhmm. And I’m wearing it right now.”

Patrick detaches his lips and examines David’s attire closely. “I mean I guess I would agree that this skirt is quite the gift to the world of fashion.”

“It’s not a skirt. These are pants that just so happen to have a pant fabric over the front and back,” David defends. But then smirks knowingly with his next statement. “And the gift is actually underneath them.”

Patrick’s eyes widen in realization. “David…did you wear lingerie to my childhood home?”

David shrugs in amusement. “I guess you’ll have to find out.”

Patrick stares at him dumbly. “My parents are upstairs.”

“I guess you’ll have to be quiet then,” David says teasingly.

Patrick groans and lets his head fall onto David’s shoulder. “You are the worst.”

David stands and sticks his hand out for Patrick to pull on reluctantly.

“There is no way we are doing this.”

“Hm alright. I guess I will have to just go sleep in these red underwear all alone in bed then.” David purposefully turns and walks away sensually, knowing full well where Patrick’s eyes have landed.

It takes all of three seconds for Patrick to wrap his arms around David’s back. He kisses David’s broad shoulders and squeezes him tightly. “I love you.”

David smiles at the way the words are pressed into his spine, seeping into his nervous system and sending sparks down his entire body. His body lights up with electricity, brighter than the Christmas tree illuminating the room. He turns in Patrick’s grasp and kisses him on the lips once more, smiling into his mouth. “I love you too.”

David wiggles out of Patrick’s hold and takes his hand. David leads them towards Patrick’s room, both giggling like teenagers as they tiptoe and fumble through the house. They leave behind the living room with it’s slowly-dying fire, still-warm blankets and the small, multicolored Christmas tree where a black velvet box with four gold rings sits below it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s been almost ten months since I started this story and that alone is absolutely astonishing. But to think that this story has gained so much support and love along the way is unbelievable. Until Don’t You Want the Way I Feel?, I had not written a single fanfiction. I had always wanted to but was too nervous or busy or any other excuse I could find not to write. But Schitt’s Creek, David and Patrick’s story, and this amazing fandom inspired me to give it a go and I’m so grateful that I did. You all have been nothing short of amazing and truly inspired me to keep writing. All of the kudos and comments have meant the world to me. Thank you to anyone who has supported me, especially the people who motivated me to continue this story and the ones who commented on every single chapter. I hope there are more fics in my future. Until then, I’ll stick to reading everyone else’s amazing works. Tldr: I am an emotional mess. Thank you for reading! ❤


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